


Overwhelming Emotions

by AsakuraHannah



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Drama & Romance, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Content, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:41:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 89,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsakuraHannah/pseuds/AsakuraHannah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again. RiEre. Reincarnation. AU. R&R</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood Memory

****Overwhelming** Emotions**

**Genre:** Drama Romance AU Reincarnation

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: (mainly)** Rivaille x Eren

**_Summary:_** Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

[© AsakuraHannah @FFn](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/1/Overwhelming-Emotions)

**_Chapter 1 : Childhood Memory_ **

_A seven year old boy with blond hair and blue eyes bit his lips when he looked up hopelessly. His voice cracked when he started to sob, blue eyes staring at the yellow balloon wedged on the branch far above him. He wiped his cheeks which were stained with tears with his small hand and crouched down helplessly, sobbing alone in the small park near his house._

" _Armin!" The boy whose name was called shot his head up when he heard a familiar voice approaching him. His blurry vision saw both of his best friends running towards his direction, looking worried. The boy with green eyes and dark brown hair was running along with his sister, the girl's dark eyes staring towards his direction in worry. Her long black hair fluttered as she ran, following her brother closely._

" _Eren!" Armin called out between his tears, looking up at the boy who tried to catch his breath._

" _Are you alright? That bruise…I knew it! Where are they?!" Eren was already on rage before his sister pushed him off, sending him tumbles a few steps forward._

" _Mikasa!"_

" _Forget about them for now. They are gone anyway. Armin, can you stand?" Mikasa offered her hand and Armin gave a nod._

" _I… can stand on my own… but…" Slowly but surely, the blond boy stood up. Eren followed the shorter boy's blue eyes, staring up at the balloon on the branch. Mikasa gave a sigh, brushing her bangs away from her eyes._

" _I will do it!" Eren said cheerfully. Armin gaped at him for a moment, but he quickly pulled his shirt when Eren started to climb up the tree._

" _Eren, it's dangerous!" Armin shouted, weakly pulling the shirt, making Eren hiss at him._

" _Don't worry about it! Don't pull my shirt, Armin! Remember what that boy said? We got Freedom Wings on our back that can make us fly!" Armin slowly let go, watching his best friend climbing up the tree with his small hands and feet._

" _Eren, you better come down now, it's dangerous! What if those wings never existed? What if he lied?" Mikasa couldn't help but getting worried as she watched her brother climbing up higher and higher._

" _Don't worry, I'm almost there!" he said calmly and brought his body up when his hand reached the lower branch. He adjusted his height for a moment and started crawling to get the balloon. Eren reached out for the thread of the balloon when the branch started to shake. Even with his small body, there's no way that the small branch could handle the weight of a seven year old child. Mikasa and Armin gasped when the branch made a loud cracking sound._

" _Eren! Get back, now!" Armin shouted in worried just in time when Eren grasped the balloon._

" _I got it!" Eren exclaimed, but to his friends' dismay, the branch gave out, making the brunet boy fall along with it. Mikasa closed her eyes in fear and Armin was shouting when the gravity pulled down Eren back to earth. Armin clenched his eyes shut at what time he saw Eren's head almost hit the ground._

_Eren's eyes widened at his sudden fall. He let out a shriek, readying himself to painfully land on the ground. He clenched the balloon tightly, hoping that it would make him fly. As his head fell first before the rest of his body, he saw a black haired boy much bigger than him underneath, looking up at him in worry. Eren knew him… he was the one telling him about all those wings. All those stories about war and freedom… he had listened to him intently._

" _Watch out!" Eren shouted and closed his eyes tightly, readying for what was coming._

"Ouch!" He groaned when his head met the marble floor painfully, his body was wrapped with a blanket like a cocoon. His green eyes opened several times and realizing that he was dreaming, he must have been tossing and turning in his sleep. Eren rubbed the back of his head which already formed a lump; he gave a sigh of relief. _What a dream_. He thought he was falling down for real. Eren slowly sat up and untangled himself from the blanket. His eyes glanced at the clock on his nightstand, realizing that he woke up two hours earlier than usual. He tossed the blanket on the bed and yawned loudly as he stretched his limbs. If his adoptive sister was not having her student council meeting today, he would have beaten the record of waking up earlier than her. Eren turned around to the wardrobe, pulling his brown blazer and long-sleeved white shirt to start getting ready for his first lesson before going to the bathroom.

* * *

Humming nonchalantly, the brunet walked downstairs with his bag swung on his shoulder. He eyed the steps carefully; indeed, waking up early for once in a while was not a bad idea after all. His eyes immediately looked over the small white board hanging on the wall. He scanned a few notes from his father and Mikasa. Mikasa wrote about the chores for Eren to clean the house later as she went to her part-time job after school. She also wrote that she'd gone early for student council meeting. His father had gone early at dawn to the hospital as usual and wouldn't be back until past midnight. Eren picked up the marker and pressed it to his chin for a moment, thinking, before uncapping the marker.

' _Stay healthy, dad. Don't get too tired.'_ He re-capped the marker and put it back in its place. Realizing that he still had time before walking out to school, his smile grew and he quickly picked up the phone to call his best friend to walk together. After promising Armin that they would meet in the park near his house, Eren quickly made some toast for breakfast.

Once he was ready to go, Eren scrambled on his feet, tying his shoelaces while munching on his bread. He opened the door before stopping for a moment and turned around towards the photo hanging on the wall.

"I'm going." He whispered to his mom's photo which only smiled back at him in silence. Eren then closed his door shut and locked it.

* * *

"Armin!" Eren called out to him with an almost sloppy grin. The blond raised his head from the book he was reading. His best friend was holding his bag with his other hand and the book on his right hand, reading while waiting for him. He was always earlier than the due time of a promise, being the attentive person that he was. Armin pulled the book down and smiled at him in return.

"Morning, Eren. It's unusual for you to be up this early." Armin noted while putting his book into his bag when Eren stood before him.

"Yes, I had a strange dream of falling down from a tree. Something about freedom wings… weird isn't it?" That made Armin blinked at him.

"I see… It must be a childhood memory." Armin smiled when Eren only looked at him confused.

"Really? I remember in that dream you were crying over a balloon. How come I don't remember that?" Eren gave a chuckle when Armin only smiled at him.

"I remember that, and I'm sure Mikasa also remembers." Armin chuckled back at the taller boy whose frown went deeper.

' _Am I forgetting something?'_ He let the thought go when Armin started talking about the world and strange places he discovered from the monthly magazine he bought the other day. Eren was sure that his friend's dream would be fulfilled one day to travel around the world. Together they walked to school laughing and chatting.

**TBC**


	2. Question and Answer

**Overwhelming Emotions**

**Genre:** Drama Romance AU Reincarnation

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: (mainly)** Rivaille x Eren

**_Summary:_** Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

© AsakuraHannah @FFn

**_Chapter 2 : Question and Answer_ **

Eren walked out from the library, waiting for Armin to follow him out from the building. He looked over his watch when he recognized the time for their first lesson. Both of them had gone to the library since they had arrived at school much earlier than normal. When they both arrived in their class, Eren heard a lot more chattering between the girls than usual. Both friends headed to their seat at the back rows, looking around their classmates.

"Marco, what's going on? Did something happen?" Eren asked the boy who sat in front of him while taking out a few textbooks and pen. The black haired student turned his head around and shook his head in confusion.

"I don't know. I overheard the girls' conversation saying that there is a new teacher. But I'm not sure yet if the info is right." Eren blinked when he heard him before rolling his eyes and shook his head.

"Girls…" he muttered with annoyance, earning a chuckle from Armin. Armin knew that Eren never got along well with the girls, nor had he ever seen his friend become interested with girls other than his adopted sister, Mikasa Ackerman. It was probably because of her that Eren had never shown any interest in females that she became attached to him like glue. Speaking of which, Marco looked around for the so-called sister.

"Where's Mikasa?" the boy named Marco asked in wonder. Usually Eren was rarely seen without his adopted sister by his side.

"She already went to the council room early this morning. She had a meeting." He put his bag on the chair before sighing deeply. Armin noticed his demeanor was a bit off than usual and patted his shoulder.

"You look worried. What's wrong?" Eren huffed at the concern coming from him before chuckling.

"Nothing, really. She didn't seem to be in a good condition when she woke me up this morning." He replied shortly and put his head on the desk. Mikasa said she had a meeting on the morning right after she woke him up. Due to the fact that he was half asleep, Eren only mumbled sleepily at her and went back to sleep. He was surprised when he was woken up by the cold hard floor. Much to his relief, he woke up earlier than before. It's not like he wished to be late attending anyway. His homeroom teacher, Irvin Sensei was very kind towards the students, and he seemed to have high expectations about coming to class on time. He dislikes tardiness; that's why Eren tried to avoid getting a detention during lunch time. It's not like his teacher would give anything like an extra homework, but Eren preferred to be outside during lunch time, of course. No one liked detention, even if the punishment was reading textbooks and having an extra study session with the teacher.

"Maybe she's overworking herself? Being on the Student Council and having a part-time job at the same time is not easy." Armin noted. Eren raised his eyes to look at the blonde, staring at him in silence for a moment.

The class suddenly stopped talking when the door slid open by their homeroom teacher. Eren quickly adjusted himself to sit properly. He looked over the front and saw that Irvin was alone. There is no new teacher as the rumor said; maybe it's a new student? His eyes shifted to the unclosed door.

"Morning class." Irvin spoke out and the class greeted him back. The whispers among students started as Irvin turned around to write something on the board. Some students who were sitting near the door tried to peak outside curiously. As Irvin turned around, the students stopped talking, earning a small smile on his lips.

"I would like to introduce someone who'll be my assistant for the next three months. He has an internship here at this school and he would like to help me teach all of you. Rivaille, you can come in." Irvin called out the man's name, making all eyes turn to the door. Whispers and excitements were voiced out as the male entered the classroom. Eren looked at Armin who slightly went frigid while his eyes went wide. The book he was holding fell on the desk with a dull thump sound.

"What's wrong?" Eren whispered, noticing the behavior of his friend. Armin looked at him, and quickly shook his head.

"Nothing, he just seemed so young." Eren stared at him for a moment and gave a small nod, unsure if Armin was lying or not.

Irvin patted Rivaille's shoulder and looked at the students as he raised his hand, stopping the chattering. Rivaille coughed a little and raised his head to start introducing himself.

"Good morning, class. I'm Rivaille; I'll be in this school for about three months. I currently have an internship and would like to learn a lot from teaching here. I hope all of you will help me out by being good students. I am taking a lot of language classes for my studies; therefore I know several languages, such as English, German, and French. You can ask me whenever you need help with them." After he finished with his introductions, almost all the girls were eager to get to know him. Irvin smiled when Rivaille clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"Well then, Rivaille. While this is the first day for you, why don't you handle this class for homeroom as well? If you need anything, you can ask me." Rivaille gave a nod at him.

They both stopped when suddenly the classroom door opened by a girl with black hair and dark emotionless eyes. There were a few other students with her when she walked inside. Both teachers turned their attention to them. Already, Rivaille's brow arched up, thinking that they were a bit too late until his eyes landed on the black haired girl at the front. The girl gazed at him, their eyes meeting for a few seconds, blinking when the strange man stared at her with a stoic expression.

"Good morning, Sensei. We were just finished with the student council meeting. Pardon us." Mikasa gave a slight bow to them; her eyes questioningly looked at Rivaille.

"Okay, Mikasa. Go ahead and sit; Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner."

"Thank you, Sir." Rivaille's eyes followed them as the four students walked towards their seat.

Mikasa silently led her friends and nodded at them before going to her own seat, wondering who the male was. He looked quite old to be a student and he looked much too young to be a teacher. The class was still noisy among the girls' enthusiasm. As she took her seat, Armin and Eren both smiled at her.

"Who is he?" She whispered to both of them. She couldn't help but feel a bit curious when those gray eyes were staring at her previously. He seemed familiar.

"An internship student, he's going to be here for the three months helping Irvin Sensei with class." Eren explained before Armin could say anything. Mikasa looked at Rivaille who took the absent book from Irvin while the man gave him short explanations that needed to be done. As Irvin walked out the room, Rivaille faced the students before he sighed.

"Okay, can all of you calm down for a moment?" He raised his voice to quiet down the noisy girls. The voices went down before each of them settled and listened for him to continue. Rivaille brought his hand up to his mouth, thinking for a moment, confirming something. He then lowered his hand and put both of his palms on the table, leaning against it.

"Since this is my first day, let's have a question and answer session. You can ask anything about me." He directly looked at the girls who were giggling when he mentioned it. A few hands rose to let him choose and Rivaille scanned his eyes before he realized that he did not know their names yet.

"You, the girl with brown ponytail hair. What's your name and question?" He nodded at her.

"Sasha Blouse, sir. Do you like steamed potatoes?" she immediately asked and Rivaille raised his eyebrow in confusion. The whole class laughed at the question.

"Sasha, can't you ask something else?!" a bald boy beside her scolded her. Rivaille shook his head when he heard someone say that Sasha's head is only filled with food.

"…I eat everything that's edible." He answered anyway while his eyes scanned the students and stopped on a green eyed boy who was looking bored while staring blankly at him. He stared at his eyes for a moment before a girl interrupted him.

"Sir, can we know your age?" Rivaille's eyes change direction to the girl with blonde hair. He doesn't remember giving permission to question.

"I don't recall giving you permission to question me." Almost all the smiles and giggling halted the minute those words flew from his mouth. Rivaille clicked his tongue. That sure picked up interest to the green eyed boy.

"Stand up. What's your name?" Rivaille crossed his arms over his chest; his look darkened as he asked her. She blushed as the entire class attention was now turned to her. She slowly stood up in fear, biting her lower lip.

"I- I'm Christa, sir." Her voice cracked when she answered. Their eyes met for a moment before Rivaille broke the silence.

"Okay, this should remind you and the whole class that if I did not give permission to talk, then you won't be talking. Understood?" The girl quickly nodded and all eyes shifted to Rivaille who stood firm in the front of the class.

"Okay, now sit down. As for your question, I'm 23 years old." He said, nodding for her to sit. The bell rang as soon as Christa sat down which signaled that the homeroom session was over. Rivaille was reminded that he should be doing absent lists sooner. He quickly opened the absent book Irvin had left for him as he sat down.

"Okay, now I will be quick. Be sure to raise your hand and answer when I call out your name. Armin Arlelt." Rivaille started and raised his head to look at the hand up. The blonde boy quickly said "yes" and puts his hand down when Rivaille gave a nod.

"Next, Annie Leonhart." He repeated his action and nodded when the certain blond girl's hand shot up and answered him.

"Bertholdt Fubar." Another hand raised and Rivaille gave a nod. He needed to make sure that he remembered each name and which students he had been calling on his first day. Including the student council members so that next time they were having a meeting, he'd know.

"Connie Springer." His eyes met the bald boy previously, sitting beside Sasha. He gave a nod when Connie raised his hand and answered. The next name made him stare at it for a second. _Eren Jaeger._ His gray eyes scanned the name and looked up at the student.

"Eren Jaeger." He whispered the name. When he raised his head, he noticed Armin and the student council girl earlier were looking at the brunet with green eyes. His wonders were confirmed when he called out his name for a second time and all eyes turned to the boy. Those green eyes were staring back at him with a blank expression. Rivaille glared at him when Armin slowly whispered his name.

"Eren…" Armin whispered.

"Eren Jeager." Rivaille raised his voice, making Eren's eyes focused on him now and was surprised when he saw Rivaille was already glaring daggers at him.

"Eren Jeager, you sure have nerves to ignore me…" His tone was so deep and dangerously harsh. Erin stiffened when he heard him and quickly scrambled to his feet. He looked like he could kill just by glaring in the eyes of others.

"I'm sorry, sir!" Rivaille watched the boy named Eren as he sweat in fear. He inhaled deeply before he gave a loud sigh.

"Since it's my first day, I will let this go. Don't do it again or I will assume that you are absent. Now, sit down!" Rivaille reprimanded him before he marked his name on the list. Eren quietly sat down and Mikasa tapped his shoulder when Rivaille called out Jean Kirschtein and Marco Bott.

"Are you alright?" She asked in worry, earning a nod from him.

"I was just lost in thought." Eren mumbled back.

"Mikasa Ackerman." Rivaille called out and she quickly pulled her hand up while making sure she gave a hateful glare towards the midget teacher.

"Yes, sir!" she said firmly, eyes darkening when their eyes met for the second time. Rivaille stared at her for a second.

' _Is she mad at me because I scolded Eren?'_ He rolled his eyes at the thought before he gave a lazy nod and marked her name. He went down the list until he finished calling out the whole class. After he was done, Rivaille closed the absent book and gave the permission for the class to continue with their next lesson. The students stayed silent when Rivaille was about to leave the room, somehow afraid to interrupt, that is until Mikasa decided to stand up.

"Our first class is English, sir." Rivaille looked at Mikasa who dared to speak up.

"And? Your teacher is?"

"It should be Irvin Sensei." She said stiffly at him. Rivaille realized that he needed to teach them today. He snatched the textbook Irvin gave him earlier.

"Alright, all of you open your book. I want to know what page you are all studying until Irvin comes back here." The class started and Rivaille tried his best to hold all his shouts at Irvin for not telling him anything. That guy sure is annoying as usual.

**TBC**

 


	3. Punishments

**Overwhelming Emotions**

**Genre:** Drama Romance AU Reincarnation

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: (mainly)** Rivaille x Eren

**_Summary:_** Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

© AsakuraHannah @FFn

**_Chapter 3 : Punishments_ **

_Eren found himself lying on the soft grass, staring up at the deep blue sky. He was sure that he could fall asleep at any moment now. As he blinked, trying to stay awake, Eren found a shadow looming over him and his pupil focused on the person looking down at him. Those gray eyes seemed familiar. Eren smiled as he reached his hand up and brought it to touch the boy's cheek lightly only for his vision to blacked out._

Eren slowly opened his eyes, hands grasping onto thin air, groaning when he slowly woke up from his dream. Turning to his side, he softly rubbed his eyes and propped himself up. Eren's gaze drifted to the clock on the nightstand, eyes widening when he saw the time.

"What?! This must be broken!" He shouted in frustration. There was no way was he going to miss the first class today. He quickly got himself ready and ran towards his adopted sister's room. He knew that Mikasa was still in the house; if she had gone earlier, she would have at least told him last night.

"Mikasa! Why didn't you wake me-" Eren stopped when he realized that Mikasa was still in bed. He slowly walked towards her, worry was etched on his face.

"Wait, are you alright?" he kneeled down beside the bed when she just groaned at him. Eren ran his hand on her forehead, sucking in his breath when he felt the fever.

"You're sick. What time did you got home last night, Mikasa?!" Eren then held back his scolding when he watched her frowning at him. It was rare to see his sibling in this condition. Mikasa hardly ever got sick.

"Sorry, I will make something warm for you." He muttered and rose to his feet.

"No need, Eren. You are late already." She said, trying to sit up but her brother only pushed her down.

"It's fine. Wait here, I will bring medicine too."

"Wait, Eren. There's soup in the refrigerator from last night. Just warm that up." Mikasa said before the boy wasted any time to make something from scratch. Eren nodded and quickly ran downstairs. His father must have gone ahead to work at dawn, so there was only the two of them.

* * *

Eren hurriedly ran towards his classroom, almost tripping on his way before he took a deep breath. His trembling hand opened the classroom door, peeking inside the room. The brunet found out that Rivaille was in the middle of reading over the textbook. He slowly stepped inside as he felt the whole class looking at him. The assistant teacher glared when Eren dared to step inside, green eyes staring at him in fear.

"You are late, Jaeger."

"I'm sorry, sir. I-Mikasa-"

"No excuses!" Rivaille slammed his pen down, and Eren flinched at the sound. He watched as Rivaille slowly walked towards him, their height difference becoming evidently clear. Even if Eren was fifteen years old, the so-called teacher was much shorter than him. But Eren didn't dare to look at the man in the eyes, afraid that Rivaille would think that he was looking down on him. Everyone knew Rivaille as the one they shouldn't object. Not even an excuse for being late. Yesterday, Connie was late to class after lunch time and Rivaille was seriously pissed when he was being interrupted by the sudden burst in from the entrance. He had Connie's forehead swollen with chalk when Rivaille accurately threw it at him, and then had him stand outside the classroom with two buckets full of water. Now the same thing might happen to Eren as well, the brunet fears.

"Go take two buckets full of water and stand in front of the door outside." Eren bit his lip at that and he had no choice but to do what he was told.

"And Jaeger," Rivaille stopped him before Eren turned to leave.

"Don't you dare sit down outside, or I will make sure you wished to transfer to a different school as soon as I find out." His voice sounded dangerously low, making Eren gulp and gave him a nod quickly that Rivaille was sure he had hurt his neck in the process. Eren closed the door with a sigh only to squeak and jump when Rivaille suddenly opened the door. Their eyes met for a moment. Eren was sweating and did not dare to move an inch as the older man's eyes glowered at him.

"Don't give out a disappointed sigh. Go now, I will wait until you come back here. Just to make sure that you don't run away. Now!" Rivaille scowled as the kid ran to the bathroom. He wondered what had happened to Mikasa. Eren did mention it when he tried to explain. The girl was nowhere to be found; maybe she had another council meeting? His thoughts were interrupted when Eren came back much quicker than he thought. His steps were wobbly as he tried to balance himself between his steps back to the class with two medium-sized buckets filled with water in his grasp. Rivaille's eyes were following every movement of the boy's until he stopped directly in front of him, out of breath.

"Now stand here and don't move an inch." The teacher commanded him and closed the door behind. Eren groaned at his bad luck. Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the class today, or even skip the whole period until the next class. His weary mind couldn't even think straight anymore. He was sure that Rivaille did not like him even one bit. The first time they met each other Eren was spacing out and made the teacher to scold him harshly. And now this?! It's only been two days the man started teaching! His eyes gazed almost lifelessly outside the window with a bored expression, trying to forget the weight on both of his hands. It was a punishment; the bucket of water was usually for only one person to hold, but Rivaille made it two. It was going to make his legs quickly become tired with the heavy burden on each side of his body.

Eren gave a soft sigh before he bit his lip, trying not to sigh too much lest of Rivaille finding out. Eren noticed someone was walking towards his direction; it was Irvin-sensei.

"Eren? What's wrong?" The blonde male asked with a soft chuckle. He rarely got punishments unless he fought with Jean. Both being boys who always compete against each other, Irvin knew that Mikasa was always there to stop them recently, so Eren rarely got a detention. He was about to go inside the classroom to check when he found the boy standing in front of the classroom with two buckets of water. Eren only gave a small laugh, and nodded to him as a change of the bow.

"I was late to the class, Irvin-sensei."

"I see. What happened that made you late for first period?"

"Ah… Mikasa is sick, so no one is able to take care of her. She had a high fever this morning. I hope she's getting better." Eren explained to him honestly, making Irvin smile. The boy had no reason to lie.

"I see. Is your father at work?"

"Yes, sir; He might not be home until late again." Irvin gave another nod understandingly. He did not ask about Eren's mother since he knew that she had passed away five years ago.

"Didn't you explain to Rivaille about the reason you are late?" Irvin asked in wonder. Eren paused for a moment before he shook his head.

"I tried to, but he cut me off before I'm able to give any explanation." Eren said, shifting his eyes to the floor. He felt bad for some reason, as if he was reporting Rivaille's bad deeds to his superior. Irvin gave a sigh.

"That guy never changes, does he? He's been too stiff." Green eyes turned up to look at him, Irvin gave a smile.

"Did you… know him… personally, sir?" Eren asked slowly, unsure if he should be asking about it while the person himself was just a few steps away from him.

"He's actually my cousin. I'm the one who suggested for him to have an internship here. I want him to at least have some experience other than his usual daily life. Ever since he entered the military a few years ago, it seemed that he'd been too stiff on his daily life."

"Military?!" Eren quickly bit his bottom lip when he shot the question informally to the teacher. He was glad when Irvin gave a nod.

"Yes, maybe he was a bit harsh in some way, but it's not like his heart is made of steel. That's why I wanted him to give him a much easier job after he finished his studies in college.

"I see…" Eren mumbled, unsure of what else he was supposed to say. Irvin checked his watch.

"Seeing that the time is almost over for the first period, I guess you can wait outside for a bit more." Sure enough, the bell rang just in time as Irvin walked away. Eren gave a sigh of relief and waited until the students walked outside the classroom. Most of his friends were grinning at him when they walked out. Jean chuckled and punched Eren's arm. Eren hissed at him, earning a commotion from the other. Armin quickly came over them to stop before both of them get detention; Mikasa was not there to stop them after all. A crowd started to form when the two of them started fighting.

"That hurt, you bastard!" Eren scowled at Jean who got mad at the name calling.

"What did you say, midget?!" He shouted.

"You don't know your own strength, do you? My arms are already tired, these buckets are heavy!"

"Like I give a damn! You don't have to call me that!"

"It suits you better!" They kept on bickering at each other, voice getting louder and louder. Rivaille, who heard the commotions, quickly walked over to them, which was bad timing. Jean, who was getting really mad at him, shoved Eren on the door, earning a few gasps. Eren who tried to push the taller boy away from him accidentally dropped the buckets and the water splashed everywhere. Now he was soaking wet with his classmate, Rivaille included when he just stepped outside to check, much for every students' nightmare. Both Jean and Eren gaped at the man who was drenched in the process.

"Both of you… are dead." Rivaille hissed dangerously as he snapped his fingers. Both Eren and Jean backed away against the door in fear.

"Rivaille." Someone called out to him and all eyes fell on Irvin who walked back when he heard a ruckus. He eyed the wet boys and shook his head.

"There is a change of clothes in the infirmary. You can go there and change to a new fresh clothes, Rivaille. As for you boys, you'll change and go to the next class immediately. You will get a detention at lunch time. Is that clear?" Irvin quickly took the matter in his hands, preventing Rivaille to act further. He gave a nod when the two boys nod mutely and motioned them to follow him towards the infirmary. Rivaille sent both of them a murderous glare and walked, tailing them in silence, biting all the insults inside.

"Arlelt, can you find the janitor to clean up this mess? Thank you." Irvin called out to the blonde to take charge before he left. Armin quickly did as he was told while the three of them walked away.

* * *

Hanji, the school doctor and the science teacher was gaping at the drenched boys and teacher. She covered her mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing out loud, much to Rivaille's annoyance.

"I guess all of you need new fresh clothes, huh? I'm sorry, Rivaille, I'm afraid that we only have a long sport pants, but we got several clean uniforms. Which one do you prefer?"

"It doesn't matter, Hanji. Just give me the damn clothes and pants." Rivaille growled at her and start unbuttoning his wet shirt. Both Eren and Jean, who picked the clothes given by Hanji, gulped when she was grinning madly at them.

"Here's your clothes Rivaille… and we'll just walk out as you guys change clothes." She said, quickly walking away from the scene, pulling Irvin along with her to find out what exactly had happened. Jean breathed out a curse and walked toward the back of the curtain. Eren padded over to lock the door just in case somebody walked in. He then started putting the clothes on top of the desk and quickly unbuttoning his own uniform. He just hoped that his blazer will dry out as soon as possible. It would be extremely cold when he walked home with the drenched blazer, not to mention the weather was getting colder nowadays. He shivered in horror when he imagined Mikasa's face once she found out he got into a fight and a detention only by the wet blazer as evidence.

As he raised his head, Eren's eyes widened at the sight of his teacher stripping before him near the empty bed, showing a muscular, well-trained body. His face turned scarlet red when he noticed himself gawking at the man stripping himself. He quickly threw his uniform on the floor and wore the new dry clothes, turning around from Rivaille in embarrassment. Being in the military surely made his body built in that way. Eren suddenly felt weak with his current condition, despite the fact that he participated in some sports recently. He hoped Rivaille did not catch him staring the man previously. Eren bit his lip, confused when he suddenly felt warm on his cheeks. _What the hell is this?!_

Rivaille eyed the boy's back from the corner of his eyes; he knew the brunet had been staring at his bare form. As he pushed down his trousers, Rivaille slowly wore the pants, cursing when it was a bit longer than his legs. He needed to fold the end of it up, much to his dismay. After buttoning up his clothes, he picked up his wet clothes and stared at Eren who still hadn't moved from the spot.

"Jaeger," The sound of his name made the boy jump and Rivaille raised a brow at the act. The brunet slowly turned around to look at him.

"I'm sorry, sir. For making you drenched."

"Sure, you do. Just don't forget the detention at lunch time later. Be sure to remind that friend of yours too." Rivaille nodded at the curtain, referring to Jean. Eren gave a silent nod as the man walked outside the door after he unlocked it, slamming it shut behind him. Eren let out a sigh and started to unbutton his uniform pants when Jean came out from the back of the curtain, scowling at him.

"I'm not going to have a detention if it's because of you." Jean said before he walked outside the room, ignoring the fact that Eren had his pants half-way down. Eren cursed under his breath when he heard the other slam the door.

"Says the one who started the fight." He stepped out of the pants and quickly slipped on the new one.

* * *

Armin looked at Eren, who groaned when the lesson had ended. It was time for lunch now, but he couldn't get any since he got a detention. He dully watched his classmates walked outside the room until Armin patted his shoulder, smiling down at him.

"I will buy you some lunch. Do you want anything?" Armin asked and Eren's eyes lit up.

"Just bring me some bread with salad in it." Armin gave a nod and waved at him as he walked outside the classroom. Jean was staring at the blonde, hissing at the fact that Eren still got his lunch after all what happened. Eren stood up to sit on the front desk to be closer to the teacher during detention.

"Damn you, Eren." Jean said cursing his luck. Eren frowned at the guy who sat a few desks away from him and propped his chin on his palm, smugly throwing him a winning smile.

"What? Are you jealous that Armin will buy me lunch?" Eren flashed him a big grin when Jean looked at him flabbergasted, not believing what he just heard.

"Why would I?!" the guy shouted at the same time as Rivaille appeared. Both looked at Rivaille who gave Jean a deadly glare at his shout, making him gulp in fear. They were expecting Irvin to take charge of their detention, but it seemed that Irvin had left it all to Rivaille to take over instead. The teacher walked towards the both of them and threw the clipped papers on their desks, looking bored.

"Finish this and you are free to go. You brats are making me miss my lunch. Don't you dare step out from this classroom while I'm gone." After he left, Eren and Jean quickly flipped the pages and found out there were 50 questions and answers for English lessons.

"This is insane!" Jean shouted and threw the paper loudly on the desk. Eren sighed frustratingly; he was surprised when Jean suddenly stood up to leave.

"Are you leaving?!" Eren said, standing up as well. Jean threw him a dirty look.

"What do you think?! This day couldn't get any worse. He's just an assistant teacher. I'm not taking him seriously!" Just like that, the taller guy walked out of the room, leaving Eren alone. Eren looked down at the paper and he groaned, sitting back down and started reading the first question. His eyes blinked when the question was easier than he thought. He picked up his pen and started filling in the answers, humming as he continued on the next questions; having Armin as his best friend really helped him with his studies. The door opened, and Rivaille brought a plastic bag of lunch in his hand, glaring at the empty seat and the left-alone paper, untouched.

"Where's the other one?" He asked as he slammed the plastic bag on the teacher's desk in irritation.

"Jean… he… went to the infirmary." Eren mumbled and Rivaille rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe that Eren was trying to cover his friend after what he had done to him.

"Don't lie to me, kid. As if I've never skipped my detention during high school. Stupid brat. Maybe I should make the both of you skip this lunch detention and return later after school instead?" Eren cringed, making Rivaille looked at him in the eyes. Green orbs met gray, Eren prepared for what's coming, objecting the teacher.

"I… I can't, sir. I'm sorry. Mikasa… my adopted sister is sick, so I have to take care of her." He said, half pleading him to let him go. Rivaille stared at him for a moment.

"Is that the reason why were you late this morning? Where's your mother? Father?" Rivaille asked, pulling the lunch box out from the plastic bag and un-wrapped the chopsticks. Eren gave a nod but Rivaille's expression did not change.

"My father is a doctor, sir. He went to work at dawn and gets home around midnight. Sometimes he goes outside the city and doesn't come home for a few days. My mother had passed away because of an illness, so there's no one in the house to take care of her." Rivaille shot him a look.

"Oh, my condolences," He muttered and Eren gave a small smile before nodding.

"You can go after you finished that paper. You are still staying here because of splashing the hallway with water." Eren couldn't help but chuckle when he heard him.

"Thank you, sir." Rivaille only nod and started eating after he mumbled 'itadakimasu'. He stopped halfway when he remembered something. Pulling another lunch from the bag, he threw it towards Eren.

"Here, brat, take it. I got extra." Eren was surprised when Rivaille suddenly threw it towards his directions. The sandwich wrapped in plastic made him swallow his saliva when he started drooling at the sight.

"Thank you, sir" Eren said happily, un-wrapping the sandwich. Rivaille stared at him for a moment before sighing.

"Stop calling me that. I know I'm a teacher here, but… just Rivaille is fine. I feel kind of old being called sir." Rivaille said, opening his mouth and started munching on his food. Eren's eyes stared at him surprise; he couldn't help but blush at how laidback the man was.

"Or Levi if you prefer," Rivaille said after swallowing, his eyes were now glued to Eren's emerald orbs who only gave a silent nod. He averted his eyes when Rivaille kept on staring at him, trying to act normal as he could while continuing to chew on his sandwich. He picked up his pen and carried on answering the paper sheets while he tried to concentrate on each question other than the man before him. He missed the frown that appeared on Rivaille's forehead.

* * *

Rivaille gave the paper to Irvin who took it with a smile on his face. Rivalle threw him an annoyed look. He was about to walk away when Irvin stopped him.

"Rivaille. You should consider listening to the students' cause as to why he or she is late."

"But then every student will make an excuse and get off from their punishment easily, Irvin." Rivaille put his arms on his back, standing before the man stiffly. Irvin frowned at him before running his hand through his hair. He turned around and placed the paper on his desk and sat down on the chair.

"This is not TE military, Rivaille. Besides, Eren had his reasons. His adoptive sister, Mikasa is sick. I've known the boy for long already. They are a good family. There's no one to take care of them when either of them is sick. His father sometimes has to go outside the city to work. Mikasa even got a part-time job and Eren usually helps around this school for a living too. Their mother had passed away five years ago and they are starting to get their life back to normal." Rivaille's expression did not change, but he clenched his wrist at the back.

"I will remember that." He said before turning around to leave. Irvin stared at his cousin and let out a sigh. Irvin turned to his desk, staring at the photo of his childhood friend, ' _Petra, what should I do next?'_

As soon as the door on the office slammed shut, Rivaille brought his hand to his forehead, gritting his teeth. From the time he met the boy, and the time he saw his name in the absent book, he knew who he was. His lips slowly whispered the words that he had been holding inside.

"Eren… What happened…?" The teen did not seem to catch the hint he was giving him, including his name calling when he was little.

**TBC**


	4. Familiar

**Overwhelming Emotions**

**Genre:** Drama Romance AU Reincarnation

 **Rating:** T

 **Pairing: (mainly)** Rivaille x Eren

 ** _Summary:_** Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

© AsakuraHannah on FFn

_**A/N:** This chp is un-beta. Sorry about that. but I tried to overlook the grammar. n.n_

**_Chapter 4 : Familiar_ **

"I'm home." Eren opened the door and stepped inside. He pulled his shoes off and threw it aside carelessly. He was about to run to Mikasa's room when the girl suddenly appeared in the kitchen entrance.

"Eren, welcome back." Mikasa said with a smile.

"Mikasa, are you alright now? Why are you not resting? Is your fever gone already?" She gave a nod at his concern.

"I'm getting better after the whole day rest. Though I hope I will be fine for the tomorrow part-time job. I'm making dinner now. Did something happen today?" she asked as she walked back to the kitchen. Eren's mind drifting back to the event this morning which caused him to get a detention, he better not mentioned it to her. Eren followed her into the kitchen with a frown.

"Nothing happened, just the usual boring day. By the way, Armin made a copy of his notes for you." Eren brought his bag down and picked up a paper being photocopied and handed it to her.

"Thank you." She said and flipping through the thin bundle. She put the paper on the dinner table before walking back to stir the soup which started boiling. She stirred for a few times before she turned stove off and started preparing the plates.

"Mikasa, I don't think you should work just yet tomorrow…" Eren mumbled at her, she only remained silent. He gave a sigh, trying to think of some other thing to talk. Suddenly he remembered.

"Is dad going to go home early today?" Eren suddenly asked while picking up the already cooked rice from the big bowl, dividing it for him and Mikasa. Mikasa paused to look at him for a moment. As much as she was concerned Eren was so hard-headed. His brother just couldn't stop his curiosity.

"No, but I don't think you are supposed to walk into his room without permission, Eren. I mean, he always said that to you."

"I'm curious as to why can't I see it? Didn't he entrust that key to you? Can I go inside, Mikasa?" Eren said, his eyes were now sparkling with excitement.

"No." she said and turned back to taking out plates from the cabinet. Eren puckered his brow at her before sighing, he propped his chin on the palm of his hand and pouted.

"Armin told me on the other day that I was having a dream about my childhood memory. Say, Mikasa, do you remember the time when Armin's balloon stuck in a tree and I had climbed up to get it? Do you know about it? He said he did. Weird isn't it? I can't remember anything about it at all no matter how much I tried to. Not only that, there were several dreams that keep on nagging me." Eren watched as Mikasa shot him a look after she set the plate down on the table, eyes widening as her pupils were shaking on his question. Their eyes met for a moment before Mikasa gave a hesitant nod at him.

"I remember that. Maybe you just forget about it, Eren."

"But why I dream about it? I'm just curious." Mikasa put a plate and the soup before Eren and sat down on her seat across him.

"You only forget about it, Eren. It's nothing to worry about. It's not an excuse to come inside your dad's room anyway." Mikasa said while pouring the soup for her own. Eren stared at her, sighing before scratching his head in frustration.

"I felt like I'm missing something important! Maybe there are things I can find in there." He exclaimed and started pouring the soup after his sister was done with hers. Mikasa only stared at him blankly and started eating her dinner. Eren did not see the way she gripped her spoon harder than before.

* * *

Eren turned around to his side as he watched the outside moon from the window. He slowly sat up and crawled to get closer to the window, staring up at the sky. He brought his blankets around his body and leaned on the window sill and gave a loud sigh. What is it about his childhood memory? Lately he started dreaming about it and not once that could he remember it happened during his childhood. Eren noticed his breath against the window started to become a mist. The weather had turned colder than before. He leaned closer to the window and breathed out a warm air, making more mists on the glass pane. Once he was sure it's big enough for him to write on it, he pressed the tip of his forefinger across it, forming a wing. Eren stared at it for a moment before sighing; he moved some of the photo frames away so that he could bend his upper body on the window sill and put his head on top of his arms, staring at the dark sky. Before he knew his eyes were starting to drop. A single tear ran down his cheek as he drifted to sleep against the window with moonlight bathing him from above.

* * *

Mikasa looked at the door opened from outside, she slowly rose to her feet, walking towards the front door of the house.

"Father…" she called him, the man looked at her and gave a smile.

"Mikasa, I thought you were asleep already." He said, patting her on the shoulder after he closed the door and locked it. Mikasa raised her hands to help him with his jacket and bag. His father gave the things for her to take care of and both walked inside the house.

"Was there something you need?" Grisha asked her when she followed him towards his room. He unlocked the door and let her walk inside before him. Mikasa walked to the desk to light a candle to lighten up the room. Grisha watched her in silence as he closed the door, waiting for her to say anything.

"Eren asked me about his childhood memory." That sentence made Grisha looked at her astonished. Their eyes met for a moment before Grisha gave out a sigh.

"So that mean the boy is starting to remember… I see…" Grisha sat on the bed, clasping both hands as he look down on his feet. He put his elbows on top of her knees as he stared down in a deep thought.

"What he was asking is only his childhood memories though." Mikasa added, hearing Grisha gave a soft sigh again, nodding in understanding.

"Did something trigger that?" Mikasa shook her head. She frowned when a flash of the internship teacher suddenly appeared in her mind.

"We'll see where this will lead to. In the meantime, just have a close watch on him, Mikasa. Thank you for letting me know about it. You can take your rest now."

"I'll prepare a hot tea for you." Mikasa walked out of the room to let her father have some space to think. As soon as her daughter closed the door, Grisha looked at his desk. He rose to his feet and opened the drawer, taking an old book he kept away from his son. He flipped the book open and read through the pages. Some medical information was written in there along with the boy's pictures. He flipped through the pages once again and stopped on a certain blank page with only one photo pasted on it.

"I won't let him read this book if he hadn't regained full memories of him back. It would mean I'm forcing him to know what he wasn't supposed to remember." He whispered to the photo of a young boy with dark hair and gray emotionless eyes standing beside a seven year old Eren.

* * *

_Eren was awakened by the sound of laughter not far from him. He opened his eyes to find out that he was leaning against the tree; the book he had previously reading had fallen on his lap. It's Armin's book with lots of pictures of landscapes. He had become sleepy when he read the long article about the sea. He saw a familiar figure running up to him, calling out his name. He shielded his eyes from the sunlight above, trying to see clearly who was calling him. He heard his name being called out by the older boy._

" _Eren… Eren…"_

"Eren… Eren!" Mikasa shook him awake and Eren muffled a sound, stirring up. He winced when he started to move his body and felt an awful cramped on his nape. He must have been falling asleep in that position the whole night. Mikasa looked at him questioning.

"Mikasa? Are you healthy again now?" he mumbled sleepily, rubbing his right eyes.

"Why are you sleeping on the window sill like that? Anyway, we have a cleaning duty this morning. Let's get ready." Mikasa started leaving the room when Eren already woke up.

"Fine." He mumbled with a sore throat, still half asleep.

* * *

Armin waved at the siblings when he saw them walking down the road, heading in his direction.

"Good morning, Armin. You are always early." Mikasa said, earning a chuckle from the blonde.

"It's nice waking up early and read books with a fresh mind." Eren only gave a loud yawn at that.

"Not if the weather starting to get cold. I wish I was still inside a warm blanket, sleeping soundly." He brought his hand to cover his mouth as he gave another yawn. Mikasa rolled her eyes and Armin laughed at the complaints coming from Eren.

They started walking slowly towards their high school while chatting. Eren was always engrossed when listening to Armin's excited stories and Mikasa only listening to him in silence, nodding for a few times to let him know she was listening.

It was when they arrived at the school that they split way. As a morning routine, Armin would go to the library to return the borrowed books. Mikasa told Eren to go ahead on to the class as she took a few cleaning stuff from the storage room for their cleaning duty that morning. Her brother agreed and walked towards his classroom lazily. Eren let out a pretty loud yawn when he opened his classroom door and closed it carelessly. He sucked in his breath when he found out that he was not alone. There, stood the guy who threw a look at his manner of yawning loudly. Eren blushed at his act in front of his assistance teacher and gave a bow.

"Good Morning, Rivaille-sensei." He ran a hand to his head timidly when the guy shaking his head.

"Watch your manner, Jaeger." He mumbled and turned back to the blackboard and copied the student's name for their morning duty from the paper he was holding.

"I'm sorry." Eren said as he walked toward his sit and put his bag on top of the desk.

"Jaeger, who was the one cleaning my desk yesterday morning?" Rivaille asked after he put the chalk down and patting his hands together, allowing the dust fallen off his hands. Eren turned around, mind racing to think before he shook his head. Rivaille took a wet tissue from his pocket pants and wiping his hand clean while waiting for the boy to answer him.

"I don't remember. Why is it?" He asked and walked toward the desk. Rivaille stared at him for a moment and pointed to the table, making Eren's eyes following his finger. Indeed, there were some water spots on the table which had turned dry. The person who wiped the table must have used overly wet fabric and leave it just like that.

"This table is so unclean. Go tell the students who were cleaning yesterday that they are not doing a pretty well done." He said, crossing his arms. Eren gave a nod at it, gulping when his dark eyes were staring at him closely.

"Right, sir." Eren replied shortly. Rivaille threw him a glare until Eren remembered the way he was supposed to call him.

"Rivaille-san." He corrected, not leaving out the polite way to call the older guy.

"Now, why don't you go do something about this? I mean it's rare that you come here at this hour, as I recall."

"Me?" Eren pointed his forefinger to himself, unsure that the Internship teacher was ordering him to clean the table. The frowned formed on his forehead and Eren sweat-dropping in fear.

"Yes, who else in this class other than you? It's your duty to clean today, right?" Eren bit his tongue to prevent himself letting out a groan when Rivaille pointed at the blackboard. Rivaille stared at the table once again and clicked his tongue before walking outside the classroom with full of irritation all over his face. The man walked outside the room and closed the door shut.

"Alright." Eren mumbled, watching the guy walked outside the room.

When Mikasa marched inside the classroom with cleaning utilities in her hands, Eren huffed at his luck.

"Mikasa, do you remember who were cleaning this room yesterday morning?" Mikasa gazed at him puzzled as she brought her finger to her chin, thinking.

"It's Sasha and Connie." Eren had to hold back his laughter at the names. He should have known. Last time he was having cleaning duties after school with them, both of them were having a war play with the broom and mop, making water splashing everywhere.

"No wonder. Maybe you should change the team duties for the morning. Rivaille Sensei just complained about how _unclean_ this table was." He said while wiping the table with much force. Mikasa gave him a tired look and grunted in response.

* * *

Armin raised his head when he met his teacher, standing in front of him when he was about to walk out from the library. Rivaille had his arms crossed and staring at the blond who was slightly taller than him. It was still morning and the school was still empty with not many students, unless some who got their cleaning duty for the day. Armin bit his lips when their eyes met, he was uncertain if he should greet him. The first time Armin saw the man, he was skeptical if Rivaille was the boy he knew very well. Averting his eyes from those gray emotionless eyes, Armin looked down. _'What is he doing here?'_

"You are… Armin, right?" Rivaille was the first to speak up, waiting for an answer. Armin clenched his hands tightly on his bag's handle before he gave a nod.

"Yes… Sir."

"I've been wondering for a while now. You guys seemed so close yet so distant at the same time. Care to explain to me about Jaeger?" Rivaille immediately asked to the point. Armin's eyes widened when he heard him. He shoots him a surprised look before swallowing his saliva down his throat.

"You are… Levi-san…?" He whispered, blue eyes trembling when the guy stood up straight now, both hands on the sides as he gave a nod.

"Long time, no see… Armin" Rivaille clenched his fists when his chest felt a pang of guilt. Armin's mind running wild, wondering if he should tell the truth about Eren.

"What do you want to know about, Levi-san?" Rivaille eyes never leaving him creeping the boy out.

"Eren… doesn't seem to remember me, does he?" Rivaille's voice came out whispering that Armin almost can't hear him for real. Armin gritted his teeth at the questioner and he clenched his eyes tight.

"I'm sorry, but… there nothing I can tell you! Nor that you ought to give Eren any explanation! Now if you will excuse me!" Armin shouted and gave a bow before he quickly ran passed the man. _I'm sorry I can't tell you, not after what happened._

"Armin!" Rivaille shouted at his name, but Armin had run off into the building. Rivaille clenched his trembling fist and punched a nearby wall in frustration.

' _What the hell is happening?!'_ Rivaille turned around angrily, walking away from the library.

* * *

"Armin?" Eren called out as quietly as possible, frowning as he looked around in the library. He had finished his morning duty and decided to kill time with reading along with his best friend. Much to his disappointment, the blonde was nowhere to be found. His eyes passed the large window pane and looked outside. As Eren stared outside, he saw a guy standing before the vending machine near the building. It took him a moment to realize that it was Rivaille before deciding to go outside the library to talk to the teacher.

"Rivaille-san…" he mumbled to himself when he remembered the way he should be calling him. Eren bit his lower lip at the memory. He pushed the door open; his legs brought him to run as soon as he was outside.

The teacher who crouching down to take the hot drink from the inside the box looked up when he heard footsteps running after his directions. He slowly stood up when the boy stopped directly in front of him.

"Rivaille-san." Rivaille stared at him for a moment of silence and clicked his tongue. He leaned against the wall and opened the can.

"Finished with your duty?" He said, not looking at the boy who was now looking up at the drinks on the vending machine.

"Yup." Eren said while clicking on of the drink's name after he latched a coin inside. Rivaille looked at the boy crouching down and stick his hand inside the bar to get the fallen drink.

"Have you cleaned my desk thoroughly?" he asked, taking a sip of the drink by holding his three fingers on the upper side of the can. Eren couldn't help but to chuckle when he heard the question. He got up from his crouching position, smiling at him.

"I did clean it, as clean as possible." He said, making Rivaille scoffed at him. That grinning face, he couldn't help but to think of that small boy who used to cling all the time when he was little.

"Say, Jaeger. Have you ever felt the nostalgic feeling towards someone?" Rivaille asked, meeting his green eyes with his gray eyes. The boy only stared at him for a moment before running his forefinger on his cheek, thinking.

"I do feel some kind of familiar feeling. But it's probably because we're in the same town for a long time? Who knows?" Eren said chuckling. His hands fumbling on the warm can, cracking it open and took a big gulp. Rivaille could only stare at him, not sure what to say. He also took another gulp before walked away from him with a sigh.

"Idiot. What an airhead. You never change" He muttered, earning a puzzled look from Eren.

"Sorry?" Rivaille waved his hand, dismissing him from saying anything further.

"Just go back to the library and read something useful." He ordered and disappeared into the building leaving Eren scratched his head in confusion.

' _What a pity. Why do I have to meet you again, now? I thought I've found you, but I lost you once again'_ Rivaille grimaced at the thought. His eyes became sharper as he headed back to the building. He hated to admit that Mikasa is the only one he should ask about Eren.

**TBC**


	5. Past Life

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

©AsakuraHannah at FFn

**Ty for xryuchan27 for beta read this :D**

**_Chapter 5 : Past Life_ **

Armin was running towards his classroom with a panic expression plastered on his face. The question from Rivaille won't stop echoing in his ears as he continued running towards his classroom.

_"Eren… doesn't seem to remember me, does he?"_

Mikasa threw a surprised look at Armin who tried to catch his breath as soon as he arrived in the classroom with a loud thud. His hand clenched the door tightly after he banged it open.

"Armin? What happened? You look pale." She said in concern, pulling her red scarf to loosen it off from around her nose. The dust was everywhere and she had to use her scarf for protection over it. Now that her duty was finished, she pulled the scarf loose. She was about to relax herself in the empty classroom when Armin suddenly burst inside completely out of breath.

"Mikasa! He is… Levi is here. I mean. He…is Rivaille! Have you noticed him?" Armin spilled all out in one breath, he sounded almost desperate. Mikasa almost dropped the scarf she was holding when realization dawn on her.

"Armin. What are you talking about? Explain it to me slowly." Mikasa's heart started beating faster. True, she had a familiar feeling towards the raven-haired man, but she did not think further of him. Armin gave her a firm nod, walking toward her in a hasty pace. She knew what he was talking about.

"I met him just now in front of the library, he suddenly asked me about Eren _._ Mikasa, should we tell him about what happened to Eren? I mean…" Armin stopped when Mikasa put her hand on his shoulder, calming him down.

"Calm down. No wonder he seemed familiar to me. Why is he here anyway? Didn't he move to France a long time ago?" Armin noticed Mikasa clenched her fist enough to draw blood. He could feel the hand on his shoulder tightened as her expression darkened.

"I said to him that there's nothing to explain. I'm not even sure if he will leave it just like that." Armin looked back at the entrance of the classroom; afraid that the man would suddenly appear behind them. Mikasa gave him a nod.

"Good choice, Armin. Let's just leave him wondering. I don't want him to come to Eren and start hurting him again. After all he had done and all those dreamlike stories… That _freedom wings_ almost took Eren's life away. That man is full of lies." Mikasa bit her lips at the memory, she hated that man completely. She almost lost her only brother because of him.

"Full of lies?" A voice spoke from behind making them turn sharply to the door. Rivaille was staring at both of them with tired eyes, and slowly walked towards them, eyes never leaving Mikasa's. He fully ignored the girl's fierce look, moving his face only a few inches from her. Their eyes were cynical at each other making Armin back away.

"Are you still into it now, Ackerman? Seeing all of those dreams of mine as _lies_?" Rivaille glared daggers at her when the girl did not seem to move back in fear.

"What are you doing here, midget. Why are you here for? I thought you had enough in the past, torturing Eren with your dreamlike stories. Nobody believes your stories other than Eren. Now you are here to hurt him again!"

"Go ahead; keep talking and I won't hesitate to do anything painful to you, Ackerman." Mikasa gritted her teeth when she heard him.

"What are you going to do, _Levi_? Punch me in the face? Kick me in my stomach? Those kinds of things will make your internship turn into a living hell." Mikasa smirked at him when he stared at her callously.

"Both of you please calm down!" Armin quickly pulled her away, wishing that Mikasa would stop provoking the man. Rivaille stayed still, staring at them before he gave out a loud sigh. Talking to her will never be peaceful.

"Explain to me about Eren. What the hell is wrong with him? He doesn't seem to recognize me even for a bit!" he quickly asked the question that had been nagging him before she started another fight. Both Mikasa and Armin avoided eye-contact from him, infuriating the shorter man even more. Thinking that they would dodge the question, he opened his mouth only to shut it again when Mikasa finally spoke up.

"Eren lost his childhood memory." Rivaille's eyes widened when he heard her.

"What?" his voice sounds like a husky whispered as his features turned pale.

"It's your entire fault! What are those freedom wings about?! After that accident you move to France as if nothing happened. You didn't even take responsibility on Eren's injuries! Don't come near him again!" Mikasa tried to compose herself from shouting at the raven-haired man in front of her, eyes getting red as she tried to hold her tears back. Rivaille stared at her stunned; he doesn't know how to react.

"I didn't mean to walk away… I didn't even know-"

"Just go away for now." Armin cut him, grimacing when Rivaille shifted his eyes to glare at the blonde. The teacher took the hint when Armin shook his head, eyes shifting from Mikasa and Rivaille. His blue eyes showing confidence in his look that Rivaille had to back down. He turned around and walked away from the raging girl. When he reached the entrance of the classroom, Rivaille looked back at them one more time. Mikasa was still glaring at him with full of rage.

"Just so you know, you and Armin were also there in those _dreams of lies_. Both of you were such a good and skillful inferior soldiers." Rivaille said before leaving the two of them alone.

* * *

"Rivaille." Irvin called out when Rivaille entered the office, looking gloomy. The man noticed the change of expression when his cousin raised his head to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern. He was surprised when Rivaille avoided eye contact with him.

"Nothing is wrong… Just some brat being stupid." Rivaille said as he sat on the chair, crossing his arms. His mind couldn't think about what had happened just now. He stared at his right palm, the one he used for punching the wall. Rivaille clenched his hand into a fist in anger. He was unaware that Hanji and Irvin had been watching him closely.

 _"Eren lost his childhood memory."_ Childhood memory… accident… Rivaille ran his palms across his face in frustration. _Does that mean that the boy also lost his past life memories during the accident?_ Rivaille pinched the bridge of his nose, too many things was running into his mind. He lost track of time until the bell went off indicating the start of lessons, breaking his cluttered thoughts.

"Rivaille…"

"I know. I will check the attendance again this morning." Rivaille said and got up from his seat.

"It's my lesson after the homeroom. I will do a lot of experiments today with the students." Hanji said, humming happily as she followed Rivaille outside. Before they left, Hanji glanced at Irvin who was staying silent, eyes never leaving his cousin. She gave a knowing nod at him, reassuring the man and closed the door behind her.

Both of them walked in silence, each step accompanied by the humming sounds coming from Hanji. When Rivaille stopped walking, Hanji stopped humming and stared at him in wonder.

"Rivaille, if there's something bothering you, you can talk to me if you want to." Hanji said, putting her hands on the back of her waist, smiling at him when the younger man looked at her.

"Hanji… do you… believe in past life…?" Rivaille gazed at her from the corner of his eyes, brows furrowed when Hanji chuckled at his question.

"What a weird question. Why all of the sudden? Did something happen?" Rivaille huffed after Hanji asked his question with another and continued walking towards the classroom. She followed his every movement in silence, wondering if she should tell Irvin about Rivaille's question earlier.

* * *

Armin was waiting for both of his friends patiently for their lunch time. His eyes were staring at Marco, who stood at the entrance of the classroom, waiting for Jean to follow him. Armin stared at them for a moment until Eren called him.

"Amin?" Eren asked him in worry. Armin quickly whipped his head; he gave him a nervous smile.

"Let's go have lunch." Armin gave an awkward nod, following his friends when they started heading outside the classroom.

"Eren! Mikasa! Armin!" Sasha waved at them when she saw them walking towards their direction. The three of them quickly join her and the group for lunch.

They were sitting on the field behind the canteen, spreading their lunch boxes for shares when Eren spotted the two lunch boxes in front of him.

"Wow, are you the one who made this, Sasha?" Eren asked in amazement when he looked down at the lunch boxes full of fancy meals. Connie laughed at him.

"No way, it's Annie's." He said while taking the egg-roll with his chopstick. All eyes were at Annie before she coughed in embarrassment.

"You may take some if you want." All of them then stuffed their mouth with the fancy meals merrily when she gave permission.

"You'll be a good wife, Annie." Reiner chuckled as he tasted the food.

"Is that a proposal?" Eren threw him a big grin and Reiner spluttered. Sasha laughed out loud as food splattered out from her mouth, making Connie shriek in disgust.

"Watch your manner!" he reprimanded her.

"What are you talking about, Eren?!" Reiner's face was strangely pale as he looked at the glowering Berthold from the corner of his eyes.

"Shut your mouth and eat, midget." Jean spat directed to Eren while hovering his fork over Annie's lunchbox. Armin, who was about to take the sausage almost crashed on Jean's fork, the blonde quickly withdrew as he sucked in his breath.

"Go ahead if you want it." Jean said, nodding on Armin. Armin gave a mute nod and took it. Eren rolled his eyes when he watched the two. He gritted his teeth when Marco called Jean and offered his lunchbox for Jean to take some too. Jean happily complied, making Eren bite on his spoon angrily. _Take the hint, idiot!_ He was surprised when Mikasa nudged his side painfully with her elbow, emitting a painful choking sound.

"Keep eating, we don't have much time." Mikasa reprimanded, stopping Eren from letting out another nasty word to Jean. Eren munched grimly. He really wanted his best friend to search for someone else worth his smart mind other than the idiot who loves to pick a fight.

It was after lunch time when the group walked back to their next class. Eren told his friends to go ahead with their class as he needed to go to the restroom first to do his stuff. Armin gave their lunch boxes for Mikasa to bring it into the classroom along with hers and followed Eren.

As soon as they arrived inside the restroom, Armin walked into the stall while Eren walked to the sink and splashed his face with cold water several times. He took a few tissues to dry his face after turning the tap water off. Eren stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment when suddenly a scene reappeared in his mind.

 _"Say, Jaeger. Have you ever felt nostalgic feeling towards someone?"_ Erin frowned at the memory. He shook his head, no matter how much he tried to remember, he just couldn't. It was true that he felt a familiar feeling when he met the man at first. But now… Everything seemed so fuzzy. Was it had to do with his childhood memory?

"Eren?" Eren was surprised when he saw Armin had finished his stuff and was staring at him in wonder. The brunette gave him a nervous laugh and threw the tissue into the trash can.

"Armin… do you remember almost everything during your childhood?" Eren's question made Armin's eyes gleam in anxiousness. He looked into those green eyes for a moment before Eren broke the contact.

"Let's go to class." He said, ignoring his unanswered question. Eren was starting to get tired of his friends avoiding his questions. He knew from the look the blonde gave him, he would avoid the question again. The brunette glared down as he walked faster with Armin tailing him behind in silence.

Both of them were about to turn to the left corner when Eren spotted Rivaille with Irvin in the hallway. He frowned at the tension between them and slowly leaned against the wall, trying to listen to their conversation. He was curious about their relationship and motioned for Armin to stay quiet. Armin shut his mouth, swallowing his protests, afraid if they find out they were eavesdropping.

"Hanji told me your question." At that fact, Rivaille scowled. He did not move an inch when Irvin took a step closer to the shorter man.

"Rivaille, I thought I told you numerous times already. That past life thing is-"

"Crazy, I know. Enough." Rivaille said and attempted to walk away, but Irvin insisted to continue.

"You are not a child anymore, Rivaille."

"I know that. Stop it already."

"No, we need to do something about your… hallucination." Irvin stopped when Rivaille threw him a glare.

"Why is it that you can't listen to me without mocking me?! Why could Petra listen to me intently while you couldn't?"

"At that time you were at a loss because of your friend's accident. She listened to everything of your story so you could return to being yourself and go on with your life. You are fifteen that time, now you are 23."

"Are you telling me that all of those dreams I got were full of lies? Tell me if you can handle those entire crazy dreams about me killing giants, monsters, and have to see those blood splattering around, Irvin! Watching all of my comrades dying on me almost every night while I'm their superior and can't do anything! The fact that I can't even save the one I love is maddening. I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with all of those… dreams…" Rivaille's fists trembled with rage. Eren looked at Rivaille in worry.

 _'Past life? Dreams?'_ Eren's hand clutched his temple as his head started aching painfully. Armin shifted his glance to Eren in worry, wondering if they should just take another path towards their classroom. His face turned into concern when he saw the pain in Eren's features.

"You don't know how painful it was to watch those… memories…" Rivaille whispered to his cousin, hoping that Irvin at least understand. The man only stayed silent, watching him with pity. Rivaille threw him an obnoxious glare, fully hated the look Irvin was giving him.

"It was that doctor that told you, wasn't it? He told you that those dreams you were having were past life memory, didn't he?"

"Yes…" he said shortly. Irvin scratched his head with a loud sigh.

"Didn't you go to a different doctor after that, Rivaille? Sure enough there must be something weird with that doctor." Irvin crossed his arms with a funny face. Rivaille felt the need to punch the man in the face right after those words he threw at him. He clenched his fists to prevent him from doing so.

"That doctor is… Jaeger's father…" Rivaille whispered making Irvin stare at him, surprised. A loud shout made the both of them look from behind.

"Eren!" Armin shouted, holding his friend when he almost toppled over. Rivaille's eyes widened when he saw Eren not far from them, listening to their conversation. Irvin stared at the boys for a moment, not knowing what to do before Eren stepped back. Both of them watched in anxiety when Eren was looking very pale while clutching his temple.

"I… I'm sorry… we were just getting back from the restroom and…" Eren gave a short breath, trying to clear his vision when everything is getting blurry. Both teachers startled when Eren suddenly fell on his knees.

"Eren!" Armin shouted when Eren fell face first on the floor.

"We shouldn't have the talk here. I'm sorry." Irvin said. Rivaille gave him a look before clicking his tongue, walking over to Eren when Armin managed to flip him on his back.

"You really love to make me clean all the mess, old man." Rivaille grimaced while kneeling down before Eren. Armin watched as the man easily lifted up his friend in his arms bridal style. His face flushed at the scene before looking away.

"I will call Mikasa." Armin said, knowing very much that this should be informed to Eren's sister. As he hurriedly ran toward the classroom, Rivaille headed towards the infirmary leaded by Irvin. Staring sadly at the boy in his arms, he wondered just how much the boy had heard about the conversation. Rivaille stopped his steps when Irvin had turned to the right corner. Like a ritual, he brought his lips on Eren's forehead, kissing him lightly, and then he went down to kiss the tip of his nose then to his cheek. His lips hovered on the boy's chapped lips, pausing before he decided to stop there. He continued walking towards the infirmary with an unreadable expression.

* * *

_Ah… This feels warm… Eren slowly opened his eyes, he felt like he was being sucked into the blinding light. He felt warm arms hugging him closely to his chest. When Eren looked up, he saw a blurry vision of someone staring down at him desperately. He suddenly felt so lifeless while the person continued embracing him tightly. Was it tears he was seeing? As the man slowly brought his face closer, Eren could see a track of blood on his cheek. He couldn't do anything to stop him from kissing his forehead, then to his nose and cheek. He stared when the man moved down to press his lips against his. He heard himself whisper something like a title calling._

_"Corporal" He felt darkness engulfed him before he was about to taste those lips._

_"Eren." His voice sounded familiar._

"Eren."

Eren slowly opened his green eyes. A blurry image of his sister and best friend turned clear after blinking a few times, and slowly propped himself to sit.

"Where am I?" Eren muttered, earning a happy exclamation from both Mikasa and Armin.

"Eren! Are you alright?" Armin asked.

"Can you remember me, Eren?" Mikasa asked. Her expression changed from worry to relief when Eren nodded mutely.

"Are you alright now?" A face appeared from behind the curtain, Hanji looked down at the boy in worry.

"Hanji Sensei…" Eren sat up properly when he saw her drawing the curtain open.

"You suddenly fainted in the hallway. I've checked your blood and vital points, you're alright. Nothing is wrong with you. What were you feeling before you fainted?" Hanji asked, while taking Eren's wrist, checking his pulse once again. Eren stared at her before looking down. He wasn't sure if he should tell her about Rivaille and Irvin's conversation.

"I felt a terrible headache before I blacked out." Eren murmured.

"I see… can you stand up? Do you want to go home? You'll need a lot of rest"

"Can I take a rest here until the end of the lesson?" Eren asked. He was glad that Hanji approved.

"Okay, both of you should go to your last lesson. I will be right back." Hanji told Armin and Mikasa and left the room.

"Eren, how are you feeling? I'm surprised when I saw Rivaille-san carried you in his arms." Armin said making Eren flabbergasted.

"What?! Carried me in his arms?" he was blushing deeply when he heard him. Mikasa sighed at his reaction.

"You really made both of us worried. I thought something bad happened. You can't possibly caught my cold, can you?" Mikasa said, putting her palm on top of Eren's hand.

"I'm alright now. I'll take a bit of rest here. Just come here when the lesson finished and we'll walk home together." Mikasa nodded at him and pulled Armin away with her. When they walked outside the room, both of them found Rivaille leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Mikasa glared at him but she didn't say anything when Armin pulled her along with him; back towards their class. Rivaille ignored her glare and walked inside the room. As soon as he was inside, he walked towards the bed, looking down at the brunet who blinked at him in surprise when he saw his teacher. A dusty pink colored his cheeks; his eyes glistened in shame when their eyes met. The fact that the teacher had carried him in his arms when Eren fainted was embarrassing enough.

"Are you alright? Hanji told me that you've regained consciousness." Rivaille asked with a soft tone. Eren tried to sit up but Rivaille stopped him.

"Just lay down." Rivaille pulled the chair to sit beside the bed, and sat down with his eyes on the floor.

"I'm alright, Sir." Eren said, as green eyes curiously looked into Rivaille's face.

"I told you not to call me that. How much have you heard?" That question was reminding Eren the conversation from earlier. Eren remained silent at that.

"Almost everything." Rivaille raised his head to look at him. Both of them were staring at each other until Rivaille gave a soft snort.

"It must be weird for you to listen to that…" Rivaille shook his head.

"Do you know about my father?" Eren asked him with a frown.

"More or less… yes. When I was little, we met often. I was your father's patient that time, being threatened because of my… weird hallucination… past life if you must know." Rivaille said, fiddling with his fingers.

"How come I don't remember that?" Eren ran his hand on his temple, closing his eyes in frustration. Rivaille stared at him, unsure of what he was supposed to say to that. _You lost your memory. Didn't Mikasa and Armin tell you that?_

"I was wondering about that too. You did not seem to recognize me." _Let alone about your own past life memories._

"I don't recall anything at all from my childhood. I don't know what happened… But I dream some things." Hearing that statement, Rivaille immediately pulled Eren's arm, yanking him to make him look into his eyes.

"What kind of dream? Tell me!" Eren winced at the painful grip on his arm.

"Rivaille-san, it hurts." Rivaille's hand twitched for a second before letting go of him abruptly.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered. He doesn't know what to do anymore. Eren doesn't remember anything. Was it all just a dream? Their childhood memories slowly fading away as the time passed by; even Irvin had told him it was childish to clutch on the past memories. But he felt relieved when someone actually listened to his stories, Petra had been so kind. Rivaille felt his heart clenched painfully, remembering that she no longer exist in both worlds. His gray eyes stared into those green eyes of Eren's. Just when Rivaille thought everything had shattered and broken, Eren's sentences made him stare in shock.

"Tell me about that past life. Make me remember." Eren said, looking at him resolutely. Rivaille's pupils trembled when he felt a wash of nostalgic emotions painfully hit him in his chest. It was overwhelming.

_"Levi, tell me again about the stories. All about it!" A small child with green eyes ordered him. Rivaille could only smirk down at him. 'You were my underling during that time, how dare you order your superior like that?' He brought his hand to pat on the brunet's hair._

_"I will tell you so much more about it, Eren!" Levi said, kneeling down on the ground so that they could be on eye level. Eren gave an excited nod, grinning wildly._

Rivaille cupped his mouth to prevent himself from breaking down in front of the boy. Eren quickly sat up, staring at him in worry.

"I will tell you much more about it… Eren." He whispered, clutching his hand tightly. Eren gave him a small smile; he put his other hand on top of Rivaille's, soothing him down. He didn't know why, but he needed to make the man's sadness go away.

**_TBC_ **

****_  
For those who want to see the strip of the scene[here](http://asakuranohana.deviantart.com/art/The-Ritual-Four-Promises-397115678?q=gallery%3AAsakuranoHana%2F42332700&qo=13)  
_


	6. Petra

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

© AsakuraHannah @FFn

_**Chapter 6 : Petra** _

_"Just so you know, you and Armin were also there in those_ _dreams of lies_ _. Both of you were such a good and skillful inferior soldiers."_

Armin stared blankly at his notebook, unaware that his grandfather had been watching him from the side. Finally deciding to break his grandson's thought away, whatever the cause is, the old man was sure the he needed to spill them out.

"Armin, what has been bothering you?" Armin jumped when he was questioned, and whipped his head to the side to look at his grandfather in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, I spaced out, grandpa." He sighed and returned to write down on his notebook again, copying the answers from his textbook. He was doing his homework when his thoughts drifted to the previous event in the school this morning. He found out who the internship teacher was, the way he tried to avoid the conversation with the man, the way he told Mikasa about what happened. Everything happened too fast for his liking, his mind needed some rest. Armin gripped his mechanical pencil he was using tightly, a frown forming on his forehead. Again, his grandfather saw this and shook his head.

"If you want to talk about it, I don't mind listening, Armin." Armin raised his eyes timidly at him.

"Grandpa… do you believe in past life? As in… reincarnation?" Armin asked, feeling his cheeks getting warmer as he spilled out what he has been thinking about. His grandfather blinked at the question, his body leaned closer to the boy to stare into his eyes.

"Well, it all depends on each person and the way they see things around them. Some say previous lives means childhood memories that had been forgotten. Some say they were actually just a dream which were unreal. What matters is the way we handle the situation. In the end it's our choice to move forward and not let ourselves be tied up by the past." Armin watched as his grandfather put a forefinger and a thumb on his chin, thinking. His blue eyes shifted back down to the book in front of him, staring at the text without actually reading anything.

"What if… what if that person decided to be tied up in his past and let the people he knew dearly from the previous life to be tied with him again?" Amin's hands were now trembling as he imagined what kind of answer his grandfather would give him.

"It is up to that person if he wanted his beloved to be happy in this world or not." Armin stared at him in silence, he wasn't sure if the answer was a good thing or a bad thing. The blonde looked down on his textbook. Seeing no other things the blonde wanting to talk about anymore, his grandfather lets him have his time to think. He slowly got up from his seat and pats Armin on his shoulder.

"I'm going to sleep now. Don't be too late, Armin." He said, reminding him that it's almost midnight. Armin nodded at him with a small smile gracing his lips.

"Good night, Grandpa." He said as he stretched and yawned, his body was already yearning to lie down on a soft comfy bed. Armin closed his notebook and gathered the things on the table. He should head to bed as well. He needed to return the book tomorrow morning, again, after all. He stopped when he remembered the scene in the library from the other day. That time he was walking passed the library after buying Eren his lunch during his detention, he almost crashed on Jean on his way back. The taller guy was surprised when Armin ran towards him in a hurry.

" _Armin, what…"_

" _I'm sorry, are you alright?"_

" _I'm okay, but… that bread… Eren's?" Armin looked down at the bread he had dropped._

" _Yes." Armin stared at it. Jean nervously rubbed the back of his neck, unsure what to do._

" _I… I will pay for it. I'm sorry."_

" _Eh? It's okay."_

" _Just take the money." Jean thrusts the payment for the bread he had spoiled to the blonde's hands, even though it was an accident. Armin felt his fingers brushed against his palm lightly. He stared at the money as Jean walked away. He felt his cheeks getting warmer as he could still feel the lingering sensation of Jean's fingertips on his palm._

Armin flinched in surprise when he dropped the pencil he was holding, breaking his thoughts. His face flushed in embarrassment and he quickly shook his head. Jean had Marco already, he won't stand a chance! Armin quickly gathered the things that he would need to bring in tomorrow lessons and switched off the light. He brought one book upstairs to his room to read the last chapter before he goes to sleep.

* * *

Eren stared at the ceiling in silence; he put the back of his hand on top of his forehead, thinking back on what had happened this evening. The conversation he had with his teacher, the way the man frowned with his head down in deep sorrow, the way Rivaille grip his hand tightly, asking about his condition. Eren bit his lower lip; he suddenly felt his face flushed at the memory. What a weird feeling he was having towards the man. He knew he shouldn't have felt like that but he couldn't help having an attachment towards him after what happened in the infirmary. Eren closed his eyes tightly, imagining the way Rivaille looked at him when the he said those words.

" _Tell me about that past life. Make me remember."_

Flushing brightly at his own words, Eren turned to his side.

"Damn, how embarrassing." He muttered to himself. He remembered the way Rivaille had called his name.

" _I will tell you much more about it… Eren."_ Instead of Jaeger, Rivaille had called him Eren. Eren brought his fingers towards his mouth, biting his nail when his face grew even warmer than before. He shook his head, forcing his mind to think about something else otherwise he wouldn't be able to have his sleep soon.

The way home was pretty tiring while he felt light-headed after fainting. Mikasa had been asking him if he was okay numerous times during their way back. She finally stopped after they arrived home and forcing Eren to immediately lie down on his bed.

When Mikasa walked in to the infirmary room, she was shocked to find out that they were holding hands. Eren quickly snatched his hand away with a red face, earning a grumble from Rivaille. He wasn't sure if the man felt annoyed with the interruption or because Eren had snatched his hand away. Mikasa was already glaring daggers at him; it was enough for Eren to pull her away from Rivaille's sight as soon as possible.

Eren growled when his mind wouldn't stop thinking. No, moreover, it won't let him stop thinking about Rivaille. He pulled the blanket up to his head, forcing himself to sleep.

* * *

_A boy around the age of fifteen ran towards the sleeping boy underneath the tree. In his hand was a sketchbook that he used to bring everywhere he goes. A raven-haired boy called out his name._

" _Eren… Eren!" watching those green eyes starting to open, blinking a few times to look at the older boy heading towards him. Eren rubbed his eyes sleepily._

" _Levi-san…" he called his name as Levi comfortably sat beside him. The boy stared down at him, giving him the sketch book for Eren to look._

" _Do you remember these wings?" Rivaille showed him a sketch of wings overlapping with blue and white color. It had a pentagon symbol at the back of the wings. Those green eyes lightened when he showed Eren the symbol. Eren brought the sketch book closer to his eyes to examine it closely. He gave a nod, his pupils trembling at the flash of memory._

" _This is…" Rivaille nodded, he felt a wash of happiness in his chest when the boy acknowledged it._

" _Freedom Wings. These were our symbol in the Scouting Legion that time. Do you remember?" He said giving the details to him. The boy's smile widened for a moment before his facial expression changed. Eren quickly brushed his tears when it falls down on his cheek. Rivaille quickly pats his head._

" _Eren, don't cry…" he whispered._

" _I felt so sad all of a sudden." Hearing that, Rivaille gave a knowing smile. He pulled the boy into his arms, embracing him tightly as he caresses his back. He lied on the grass with the boy on top of him, his hand not stopping from caressing his back. For a moment his eyes felt heavy as he closed his eyes, and soon afterwards, fell asleep on the soft grass beneath him._

Rivaille slowly opened his eyes, waking up from his dream. He slowly sat up, blinking a few times as he recalled the dream he had.

' _Childhood dream, huh?'_ Rivaille brought his hand to his eyes, rubbing it softly and gave a small yawn. It was Saturday today; the school was having a holiday of course. He swung his legs off the bed and sleepily walked to the bathroom. It was rare for him to have such a dream. His mind then drifted to the boy in his dream. Eren… had he been having this kind of dream lately? Rivaille let out a loud sigh. It was morning and his mind was already so busy thinking. He quickly turned the tap water on and splashed cold water at his face several times.

* * *

Rivaille stared blankly at the television, not knowing what to do with his holiday. It was when Irvin interrupted him that he turned his attention towards the older man.

"Is there somewhere that you would like to go today?" Irvin asked as he put the last dirty plate in the dishwasher. Rivaille was now dangling his arm on the back of the sofa, throwing a bored look at him.

"Nothing in particular." He mumbled. He was hoping that he could have something to do other than lazing around in the house. Maybe he should do the cleaning?

"Oh… It started snowing…" Irvin said when he checked outside the window. Rivaille's eyes shifted to the snow from outside the window then a realization dawned on him. He whipped his head towards the calendar.

"Crap, Petra… I almost forgot." Rivaille said, cursing as he rose to his feet. Irvin looked at him for a moment in confusion.

"You can't possibly go back to France just to go to her, right?" Watching the shorter male walk back towards his room to change clothes.

"No, of course not!" Irvin was puzzled at his answer before he shook his head, smiling at his cousin. He looked back to the window muttering to himself,

"It's always snowing on the day you left, Petra…"

"Irvin, I'm going. I'll take the umbrella." Rivaille said as he walked outside the house, fully ready. Irvin stared at the closed door, the younger male didn't even asked if his cousin wanted to go along with him. Shaking his head, he let out a soft chuckle. It's good to have Rivaille a bit energetic. His blue eyes stared at the mug he was holding in his hand. His features changed from relaxed into a sour expression. Irvin puts the mug down and walked towards a small vase. He plucked one of the roses after he made sure it was the smallest of all. He then walked back into his room and places the roses in front of Petra's photo. His eyes stared at her smiling face with a flickering sadness.

' _Petra, it's been a few years after you passed away. I guess you are free up in heaven without illness and pain now. Rivaille is slowly making his life better each day. I hope you can guide him from above to have his past life forgotten.'_ Grazing the photo frame with the tips of his fingers, Irvin's lips formed into a thin smile.

* * *

Rivaille walked inside a flower shop and momentarily stopped when he saw the boy he wasn't expecting to see during the holiday. Their eyes met for a moment before Eren blushed at his sight.

"Good Morning, Rivaille-san." He mumbled to him, fumbling on the card he was holding. Rivaille gave a silent nod, eyes never leaving him.

"Morning." He mumbled back, standing beside him in front of the counter.

"Eren, here is the flower." Mikasa paused when she saw Rivaille standing beside her brother. The girl frowned at him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, not hiding her annoyance in her voice. Rivaille shrugged at her.

"I can ask you the same thing." He slipped his hands inside his jacket's pocket. Surely, their school was not against their students having a part-time job. Mikasa is working in a flower shop? Rivaille had to hold his mockery, knowing very well how violent the girl could be when she wanted to. Eren smiled at him.

"Mikasa is working here as a part-time. This flower store is Christa's mother's business. Though Christa was now having an errand to the market near here." Rivaille fumed after Eren explained the reason. Mikasa gave the bouquets of flowers to Eren when he reached his hands for it.

"Here. Can you put my own bouquet-made in front of her grave as well? I will go there after I finish my shift this evening." Eren nodded at her, slipping the card inside the bouquet.

"Grave?" Rivaille asked, earning a look from both of them.

"Yes, our mother's." Eren said, staring at the bouquets in his hands.

"I see… I'm also here for grave flowers. One bouquet, and separated flower petals, please." Rivaille said, eyeing Mikasa to prepare them for him. Mikasa silently nodded at him and walked back inside the small storage where she picked the flowers and stuff.

"May I know who those are for?" Eren eyed him curiously.

"Petra… a friend of mine. Irvin's childhood friend."

"I see…" Eren watched him for a moment, halting up the question about the other petals for. After Mikasa was done with Rivaille's order, they both walked out the store in silence, raising their umbrellas. Eren looked at the older man, unsure what to say to him, speculating which graveyard Rivaille was going to visit.

"I will go with you to the graveyard." Rivaille said knowing what Eren was thinking.

"Oh… okay…" he said and led him to the train station.

* * *

Eren places the flower on top of the grave; he then crouched down and clapped his hands together, praying. Opening his eyes after a few minutes to realize that Rivaille had put one of the flower bouquets in front of his mother's grave, praying along with him. His green eyes looked down to the flower when Rivaille opened his eyes.

"Do you know my mother as well?" Eren asked in a soft voice. Rivaille stood up from his crouching position, taking the flower in his hand.

"A long time ago, when you were seven years old." He turned his back to Eren. The brunet rose to his feet, frowning at him.

"I see… another forgotten memory…" Rivaille looked at the boy from the corner of his eyes when the frustrated tone was heard in his voice. Eren staggered when Rivaille started to walk away. Following the man in wonder, he called out to him, but Rivaille kept walking, fully ignoring him. Eren's footsteps trailed him whilst Rivaille walked towards the barrier of the cliff, showing a full view of the ocean. Eren stood beside the man, surprised when Rivaille pulled the flower petals from inside the small plastic bag and throwing them by the sea little by little. Walking closer to the barrier, his eyes stared down at the fallen petals onto being washed away by the wave.

"Petra… Thank you for your guidance. Now I'm here with the person I've been longing to see. It must be your doing for bringing us together again." Rivaille whispered as his eyes stared into the horizon. For a moment Eren stayed silent at those words. He wasn't sure if he should ask what he meant by those words, who Rivaille was seeking for that he said along those lines.

"Petra was a friend of mine. She was much older than I am. She was born with an illness and had to be inside the house for the rest of her life. I went back to France when I was 15 years old and stayed in her house for a few years. Irvin knew I wouldn't like being sent back home, because my parents thought of me differently. As an aristocrat, having a weird child like me who could see many _hallucinations_ , they thought of me as filthy." Eren gazed at Rivaille's whose eyes never leaving the horizon. He could see his murky glares when he started telling him the story. The younger of the two didn't say anything to let Rivaille continue, but he couldn't help not to frown at the thought of Rivaille's parents.

"Hanji, is her distant relatives, yes, I know. It's surprising enough. That science-freak, Hanji Zoe, your science teacher. She was the one taking care of her the whole time, while continuing studying in university. When I stayed in the house, Petra was the only one listening to my past life stories. She was so kind and trusting. Never did she laughed on every of my stories like Irvin did. Sometimes I wonder if she could also see those chain nightmares." The raven haired man walked closer to the metal barrier and leaned his arms against it despite the coldness.

"Did she pass away from the illness?" Eren asked in a soft tone, earning a nod from the older man.

"Yes, sadly it didn't last long of my stay there. After the burial, I went to the military on my own will despite the fact that Irvin tried to stop me." Green met dark orbs for a moment, before Rivaille stood up straight, breaking their eye contact. He wasn't sure if he should tell Eren about the reason he entered the Military.

"Let's go. The snow is getting heavier." Rivaille said and walked away, half ordering Eren to follow him. Eren hesitated for a moment but he followed the man nonetheless. He felt by following him, maybe he would know something important. Somehow, looking Rivaille's back as they walked out from the graveyard made Eren's heart clenched painfully. His eyes saw a silhouette of wings on Rivaille's back pasted on a green cloak. Blinking in surprise, Eren quickly rubbed his eyes and the wings disappeared from his line of sight.

' _Was it my imagination?'_

_**TBC** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to apologize for those who liked Petra ;w; If you ask me why I chose her to be one of the chara's death beside Eren's mom, well, she's the closest to Rivaille, you know, the SPOILER'marriage'SPOILER thing. And after listening to the OST "Call Your Name," I got the idea what her life supposed to be in this ff. Once again, sorry D:
> 
> Second, I'm starting the story telling :3 I'm sure that all of you already know what happened in the past as all of you had watched the anime. The giants, 3D MG and stuff. So I won't write full details on it, I mean what for? XD I won't write something all of you had known while watching and reading snk. But I will write something about how their past lives ended and how it was related to this ff. :D


	7. Surreptitious

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

© AsakuraHannah on Ffn

_**Chapter 7 : Surreptitious** _

Both of them walked inside a café which Eren timidly checked around inside. The café seemed luxurious he noted, he won't order something and just let Rivaille order his as they sat down on the chosen secluded area. The waiter gave the menu to them and told them he would come back once they had decided on what they wanted to order. Rivaille gave a nod and flipped the menu open. He stopped reading the lists of the food when he noticed Eren didn't even budge to open the menu in front of him.

"Order something, I will pay." He said, making Eren jumped slightly in the command. Eren coyly opened the menu and read the list before his eyes widened at the price. It was too high for a high school standard. His green pupil slowly peeking up to Rivaille, surprised when he noticed Rivaille was staring at him, waiting.

"Hurry up and decide, brat." Rivaille clicked his tongue impatiently. Eren closed the menu and grinned nervously.

"I will have what you have. Thanks." He said, making Rivaille raised an eyebrow at him.

"If you say so." He mumbled shortly and called the waiter back to their table. Eren watched as his teacher ordered the food for him. His eyes widened when Rivaille mentioned liquor and spaghetti.

"Water, please!" he quickly said, earning a soft chuckle from Rivaille.

"Just water is alright. As for mine, omelet and coke. Can you bring me a piece of paper and a pen, please? Thanks." Rivaille said, throwing Eren a smug grin as the boy's face turned red, trying to avoid eye contact. The silence engulfed them until the waiter came back with the things Rivaille asked him to bring. Eren slowly raised his head to stare at him when Rivaille started to draw something as soon as the waiter left.

"Just one question. Do you know what this is?" Rivaille said, raising the paper for Eren to what he had just drawn. Eren took the paper from his hand, examined the wings-look alike logo on it. He… just saw it before his eyes a few hours ago, but he wasn't sure if it was only his vision playing tricks into his eyes. He ran his fingers to his temple, Eren slowly shook his head.

"No." Rivaille's hand twitched at the answer.

"Try harder, Eren." He growled; almost sound pleading but Eren shook his head yet again.

"I don't know what is this… but it looked familiar." Eren looked at Rivaille and gave the paper back to him. He could see a slightly relieved in his eyes when he looked into those gray eyes of his. Their fingers brushed against each other, making the younger flinched a little at the contact. Eren retracted his hands away, pursing his lips together as the warm of Rivaille's hand lingered on his fingers.

"Freedom Wings." Rivaille said, putting the paper in front of him. A flash of his dream came to Eren's mind when he heard it. Eren gasped.

"I… I've heard it… in my dreams." Eren admitted with a nod. Rivaille was taken back at that.

"My childhood dream." The brunet added. Hearing the sound of frustrated sigh coming out from Rivaille's lips, Eren puckered his brow.

"Childhood huh?" he clicked his tongue, crumpling the paper.

"Rivaille-san?" Eren asked him to continue when the man remained silent, eyes looking outside the window. A moment later the waiter came back with their meals and Eren quickly stuff his mouth happily. It's not every day he could eat something fancy as now. Being treated for lunch with his teacher was a rare moment, it was like a date. Eren almost choked on his own thought, he couldn't believe what he was thinking just now. He somehow felt relieved when Rivaille broke his thought in the middle of their lunch.

"Eren, I believe that I've told you this before. About my hallucinating and the past life I had said in the infirmary. Do you still want to hear it?" The questioned made the boy stunned.

"I… do." He said shortly. Rivaille shifted his eyes to stare into those enticing green eyes of him.

"What if… I told you that we've met in the past before?" Rivaille shifted nervously, not knowing where to look when those eyes widened slightly, the way those lips opened. Rivaille prepared the worse for the boy's reaction, expecting for Eren to burst out laughing or mocking him. He was staring at him agape when Eren's eyes gleaming in full of curiosity.

"How do I look like that time?" Eren asked excitedly. Rivaille opened his mouth at the question; he quickly covered it before he gave a laugh. He coughed instead, faking laughed at the boy's curious look.

"You surprised me with that question. What do you expect me to answer to that?" Rivaille gave a smirk when Eren pouted. Deep inside, the older man felt that the heavy burden being lifted up little by little. Watching across the boy, he was amused with the way Eren was munching the food hurriedly, snorted when he saw the sauce on Eren's cheek.

"Eat slowly, brat." Eren's green eyes watched in stunned when Rivaille took the nearby tissue and wiped his cheek clean. Eren lost his grip on the fork he was holding, making it cluttered on the plate pretty loudly. Rivaille blinked in surprised at the sound. Eren's face felt like its burning up, he was sure that Rivaille could see his smoldering face as he backed away from the older man's hand.

"I'm sorry. I can clean it myself." Eren said and took another tissue, wiping his mouth several times. He tried his best not to look into the older man's face. Rivaille retracted his hand from the flushing boy, averting his gaze away from Eren's obvious reaction. He tried to act like nothing happened and continue eating his lunch.

"If you are free… tomorrow… we can go somewhere nice and I can tell you the story little by little." Rivaille said after he swallowed.

"Why not now?" the question made Rivaille blinked.

"I have things to do, brat. Such as cleaning the house… Besides the road towards here was taking up a few hours, it would take such a long time to tell the whole stories. Just what time do you want to arrive at home? Do you want to go tomorrow or not?" Eren timidly gave a silent nod at the invitation.

"Okay. Tomorrow that is." Eren said as an answered, eyes looking outside the window as the snow had started to clear up.

* * *

Mikasa stared at her sibling when she stood in front of the graveyard. She had texted him that she was in front of their mother's graveyard when Eren came back wearing such an awful crimson face.

"Eren? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Eren brought his hand up to his mouth while his other hand clutched his mobile phone tightly. He couldn't believe that he got his teacher's phone number. Eren avoided Mikasa's question look, biting his lower lip as he tried not to smile like an idiot. He kept his hand covering his mouth until they walked outside the grave with Mikasa leading him on the front.

* * *

Mikasa raised an eyebrow at Eren who hurriedly ran downstairs, already looking neat and ready to go. It's not usual that her sibling wake up in the morning, usually during Sunday he was still in bed at least until 11 o'clock. Mikasa eyed him suspiciously.

"Eren, are you going somewhere?" She asked while pulling the toasts off from the toaster and put them on the empty clean plate. Eren gave a nod after pausing for a second.

"Uhm yeah. I probably won't be back soon, but I'll be home before dinner." He mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact from the skeptical looking girl. Mikasa gave her sibling the plate of toasts after she put the scramble egg on top of it to Eren. Reminding Eren that he at least had to have breakfast before he go. She was actually making breakfast for her own, but now that the brunet appeared to be in a hurry, she let him have hers. There was no way she made him starving until lunch time.

"If you say so. Are you going with Armin?" Mikasa asked, her eyes never leaving him as Eren took a seat and started eating. Eren paused for a moment, he quickly gave a nod. He hurriedly ate his breakfast before Mikasa asked furthermore. He knew he should keep a secret from her since Mikasa did not seem to like Rivaille that much.

After he finished with his breakfast, Eren quickly walked outside the house, leaving the dishes for Mikasa to do. He hurriedly picked up his phone to text Armin, telling him that if Mikasa asked, he's going with the blonde. Of course his best friend complied. Eren bit his lip nervously, checking his watch. He was sure being a teacher and all, Rivaille must have arrived early before the time they had promised.

His guess was right when he saw the guy standing under the large tree in the middle of the main park of the city. Eren stared at the man who was leaning against the tree, holding a small book while his other hand inside the pants pocket. The shorter man was wearing a long green coat and a scarf, avoiding the cold breeze. Eren blushed at the lean figure before his eyes, he had no idea why, but the man had caught his attention ever since he started talking about his past. The way he slumped his head on the palm of his hand that time in the infirmary, he looked in a deep sorrow for years searching for something. The image burned in his eyes, he could never forget that expression in Rivaille's eyes when he told him that he would listen to all of those stories about reincarnation he had said. The man also told him that the past had included Eren in it. The brunet couldn't help but felt even more curious on the tale. Rivaille promised him that he would tell him everything he remembered today. Eren couldn't wait to listen to all of those dreamlike stories. His lips curved into a smile.

"Rivaille-san." The guy raised his eyes away from the book and he gave a small nod of acknowledgement. He stood properly and walked towards Eren in a slow pace, their eyes never leaving each other. Eren swallowed nervously for a moment until his teacher was right in front of him. He was surprised when Rivaille suddenly flicked his forehead painfully, earning a soft gasped from the boy.

"What was that for?!" Eren grumbled, his cheeks flushing as he brought his hand to rub his sore forehead.

"Quit gawking like you are going to eat me. Let's go. Anywhere you wanted to go?" Rivaille walked away, fully ignoring Eren's sputtering.

"Nothing in particular." Eren pouted as he followed him when Rivaille heading out of the park. Rivaille looked at him, eyebrow rising at the short reply.

"Don't tell me you wanted to go to the amusement park." Rivaille scoffed.

"I didn't say anything, Sensei!" Eren threw him a look, the man obviously older than him, but there's no reason for him to treat Eren like a small child. That retort earned a chuckle from Rivaille, the name calling to remind him about their relationship as a student and teacher. Something which reminded Rivaille that they were once a Superior and an Underling. His lips curved into a thin smile, in both lives, he was older than Eren.

"Stop with that 'Sensei' thing."

"I just want to listen to all your stories about the past life you are talking about." Eren muttered, glaring down at the ground as his shoes stepped on the dirty pavements. His eyes slowly looked up when he heard Rivaille gave a sigh, letting a white fog out from his mouth.

"It won't be like a date then…" Rivaille said, eyes meeting Eren's widened emerald orbs. _Those cheeks… turning red again._ Rivaille fumed at his reaction. _How fast can it be…?_ He rose an eyebrow, knowing that the boy had fallen but still in denial. Probably because he was older that he could tell when someone at Eren's age was falling in love. The boy was obvious. He pulled Eren's hand, forcing them to hold hands. Eren's hand was pretty cold, Rivaille could feel the nervousness as he gripped the younger hand tightly.

"Calm down, will you? Don't you have gloves?" Rivaille said, he was un-amused to the fact that Eren was so shy just because of holding hands.

"I'm calm. I left my gloves at home" Eren protested when Rivaille half dragging him. Eren watched Rivaille's back when he paced before him, being half pulled like this didn't look like a _date_ at all. He frowned while he strides faster to match Rivaille's steps.

"Stupid brat, the weather is cold." Rivaille said, clutching Eren's hand tightly. When Eren didn't say anything, he continued.

"Which part do you want to hear about? Freedom Wings? The way we were back then? Military forces?" Rivaille was now staring at Eren who picked up his pace to walk beside him.

"Military?" Rivaille gave a nod at Eren's surprised question.

"Yes, we were in the military forces called Scouting Legion that time, fighting Giants who happily devour humanity to extinction." Eren watched Rivaille's eyes stared into a long distance.

"Devour…" Eren's word made those gray eyes turned to look at him. Rivaille let go of his hand, he brought his hand to caress Eren's cheek lightly. Eren felt himself leaned against the hand of his, blushing a bit.

"What about the freedom wings?" Eren whispered his question, feeling the hand on his cheek went rigid. Rivaille pulled his hand away slowly, clenching his hand into a fist. He turned around from those curious green orbs.

"It's our symbol for Freedom. We used 3D Maneuver Gear which made us fly using the fiber and gas to fight those giant monsters. I will show you the 3D Maneuver Gear later in my sketch book. The symbol that I showed you yesterday, it formed wings seeking for freedom. We became the hope of humankind since our team fought bravely against those giants." Rivaille's lips formed into a thin smile when he saw from the corner of his eyes that those emerald orbs were gleaming in marvel.

"Do you remember? That time you were one of our best teammates." Eren shook his head, frowning sadly. He couldn't remember a thing, but he felt his heart throb painfully.

"You look exactly the same as you were back then. I was the Corporal that time and you were my underling. I was in charge of your custody." Rivaille started walking again, telling him each of the things he remembered, pulling Eren along with him. He looked at Eren when the boy clasped their hand together. The raven guy gave a small smile, tightening their hand hold.

Rivaille sat down on the bench they passed by. Eren walked over to the vending machine not far from them, choosing his own drink and Rivaille's. Rivaille waited for Eren who was still crouching before the vending machine. He gazed at him, thinking about the things he needed to tell him. There were too many to talk about, he was confused about which one he should explain to him. When Eren came back with two drinks in his hands, Rivaille took it with a nod. The boy sat down beside him, wrapping his hands around the warm can with a sigh. A white fog coming out from his mouth as he sighed, his mind tried grasping the ideas of their previous life they were having back then. The man did not lie, what he was saying was the truth, every time Rivaille told him something, he could feel his heart stung. Eren felt he had heard all of those things Rivaille was telling him.

Eren's eyes gazed on the river before his eyes, emerald orbs glazing as a flash of memories appear. He had dreamed one of those, but he wasn't sure if it was about their previous life. His brows frowned; he remembered the kiss on his forehead, nose, and cheek. Eren flushed at the memory when he was almost being kissed on the lips in that dream.

"Eren?" Rivaille asked after he lowered his drink down, watching him in concerned.

"How was our relationship back then?" Rivaille halted his movement, to shock to react towards the question being thrown at him. He shifted his eyes away from the curious green eyes.

"Didn't I tell you that we were soldiers? My rank is higher than you."

"Only that?" Eren asked, he could see that Rivaille almost flinched.

"… Yes." Rivaille mumbled, his eyes staring blankly into those shimmering eyes of Eren's. Eren gave a slow nod, why does he have a feeling that Rivaille was lying? Maybe he could hear the truth as the time went on. Eren opened his can and took a drink.

Not far from them, a dirty-blonde guy was gaping at the two with a shock on his face. He couldn't help but to chuckle at the sight in front of him. He was on a short walk with Marco and he was about to go to the vending machine when he spotted the teacher and student, sitting side by side, chatting slightly. This would be good news for the entire class. Jean grinned wickedly.

"Look, Marco. I saw big news coming." Jean called out to him when the black hair guy did not seem to recognize what he was seeing. Marco watched the two for a moment; he could sense the surrounding between the two of them. He then pulled Jean's arm, dragging him away.

"Let's go somewhere else, Jean. I'm sure the two of them wouldn't want to be bothered." Jean gave a grunt of disappointment.

* * *

Mikasa glared at Armin when the blonde mutely looked at her, gulping while he took a few steps back.

"Are you saying that Eren did not go out with you?" Mikasa was horrified when he saw Armin alone in the bookstore. She accidentally bumped into him when she was about to turn to the corner section. Armin gave a hesitant nod, fidgeting as Mikasa threw him a panicked expression. She quickly pulled her phone out from her bag, dialing Eren's number.

"Mi-Mikasa. I don't think you should…" Armin stopped and gave a sigh when Eren picked it up. _Sorry, Eren. I let her interfere during your date with whoever you are now._ Armin averted his blue eyes tiredly from the furious girl.

* * *

They were sitting in comfortable silence when Eren's mobile phone suddenly rang pretty loud. The boy jolted in surprise, taking it out from his pants pocket and horrified when he saw who was calling him.

"Crap, Mikasa." Eren cursed, earning an eyebrow rose from Rivaille.

"Did you not tell her that you went out?"

"Well… I'm not telling her who I'm going with…" Eren fumbled on his phone when it gave another ringing.

"Just pick it up, it's so noisy." Rivaille said with a 'tsk'. Eren slowly pressed the call button and brought the phone closer to his ear. Rivaille sighed at him, now it was obvious that Eren had never dated anyone in this life either. The Mikasa was always too over-protective. He couldn't help giving him a funny look when Eren flinched at the shout from the other line. He slowly brought his hand up and patted Eren's head, making the boy looked at him surprised. _Let me be your first in this life too…_

" _Eren, where are you currently? Who are you going out with?"_ Eren could hear the concern in Mikasa's voice, he groaned tiredly over the phone. Armin must have told her about it or she found it out by herself. Either way, it's annoying.

"Look, Mikasa. I don't feel the need to tell you everything. I mean, let me have some free time alone." Eren looked at Rivaille who watched his every movement in silence. He caught a glimpse of the man's amusement when the brunet was talking with his sister. He squat the hand on top of his head with a blush across his face, fully upset that his teacher was actually treating him like a kid. One over-protective sister was enough, he did not need another one. He could barely hear on the things Mikasa was saying in the other line, grumbling to her.

"I'm fine, Mikasa. Now just leave me alone." With that Eren ended the phone.

"Done?" Rivaille asked in boring look. Eren glared at him, the man was fully enjoying it despite the look on his face.

"Done." He huffed and stood up abruptly.

"Where shall we go now? Is your guardian heading here that we need to change places?"Rivaille did not hide his teasing tone and smirk on his lips. Annoyed, Eren gave him a look and pulled his wrist along and he started walking, surprising the raven-hair man. Where did the shyness go away?

"Let's just move somewhere warmer." Eren mumbled. Much to his surprise, Rivaille suddenly stood before him, snatched the phone from his hand and switching it off. Eren eyed him astounded, taking his phone back when his teacher pushed the phone into his hands.

"When doing a secret date, that is the way it should be, brat." Rivaille was amused when Eren's face could get much redder than before. Rivaille ignored his protests and dragged him into a café, which soon Eren found out that the guy love to hang out in the café to drink coffee and such for a long long time.

* * *

Mikasa was gaping at her phone with a disbelieving look. Eren did not just ended the call on her. What happened to the cute and adorable little brother she has? She clenched her mobile for a moment before throwing it in her bag, totally threw her frustration on the act. Armin watched her with a frown and sighed.

"I think you have to admit that, one day, you will have to let him go, Mikasa." Armin mumbled, slowly meeting his blue eyes to Mikasa's darkened look. She turned her face away from him.

"I was just trying to protect him from that teacher, you know what I meant." Mikasa stated, before walking away from Armin. Armin pulled out his phone, checking the text message that Eren sent him this morning. He was pretty sure that the boy never went out secretly with anyone, he'd be the first to know when something happened to his best friend. He knew Eren very well since they were little, he frowned when he read the last message Eren send.

" _I'm out with Rivaille-san."_ The message was clearly surprised him this morning, but he somehow knew even if they tried to hide Eren from the truth of his childhood memories, it would come back to him when he had to know everything. Armin just hopes that Rivaille won't force Eren anything to make him remember something painful. He didn't want Eren to suffer with those memories anymore. Armin gritted his teeth as he clutched his mobile tightly in his hand.

* * *

Rivaille stared at Eren who was staring down at the menu timidly, _again_. He raised an eyebrow when his green eyes looked up at him curiously; surely the boy brought some money with him, didn't he? Rivaille let out an exasperated sigh.

"Eren, just how much did you have in your pocket every week, brat?" Rivaille pulled the menu away from him. Eren gave a sheepish grin at him, which made the man fully irritated.

"Not much." There he said shortly, making Rivaille's eyebrow twitched.

"You can't seriously hang on to Mikasa's part-time job, are you? I know your father is busy and all that stuff…" Rivaille squinting his eyes at the boy who shook his head.

"Sometimes I help out around the school, be it in the library, cleaning, canteen, or any other duties I could take. Sometimes they offer me, sometimes don't. I'm not smart like Mikasa who could take many things in her hands, so I guess I will just focus on my studies and tried to earn little by little." Eren gave a small smile, looking down from the look Rivaille giving him. The boy felt relieved when Rivaille huffed at his answer, and called out the waiter for their order. Once Rivaille finished to order, he looked at Eren who kept silently in front of him.

"I'm paying, if that makes you relieve." The dark hair man couldn't help but to roll his eyes when Eren threw him a joyful expression.

"Rivaille-san, you said yesterday that you went to the military on your own free will in this life. Does that have something to do with your past life?" Rivaille gazed at him for a moment, considering his answers, he clasped his hands together and put them on the table in front of him.

"Yes, indeed. I… I felt the need to atone for what was taking place during the previous life… Including the accident which happened during childhood. I was fifteen when the accident taking place. I thought when I went to the military, those painful memories will stop flooding my mind. But, it just won't stop." Eren cocked his head to the side. Fifteen? Meaning he was seventh during that time. Eren leaned forward, trying to get the information better.

"What accident?" Rivaille frowned when Eren questioned him.

"Eren, don't you remember your childhood memories at all?" Eren's eyes turn grim when he heard him, the boy shook his head.

"Looks like I lost it." Eren said shortly, he could watch Rivaille features turn exasperated.

"Eren, you lost your memory! Didn't either Armin or Mikasa explain it to you!?" Rivaille let out a frustrated tone, hand grasping Eren's palm across from him. Eren fidgeted slightly at the touch, he winced when a sharp pain shoot through his temple. He brought his other hand to clutch his temple, hissing in pain.

"Eren?" Rivaille asked in concern when Eren was not clutching his head in pain, earning a grunt in response.

"Strangely it was all foggy, I can't seem to recall anything, Rivaille-san. I tried to ask Mikasa and Armin but they always said that I just forgot." Eren gave a sigh, rubbing his head. It won't stop aching. Rivaille clicked his tongue after hearing the fact. Surely, they couldn't hide it from him forever, right?!

"Eren, did you remember the time when you fell off from the tree?" _I need to make him at least remember his childhood before remembering the past life._ Seeing Eren's green eyes widened, Rivaille gave a frown at his condition. He became alerted when Eren was now clenching his head with both hands while letting out a grunt of pain.

"Eren…" Rivaille quickly stood up from his seat, bypassing the table towards the boy. He kneeled down in front of him, grabbing his shoulders. Eren's pupils were quivering as he tried to focus on him, Rivaille could see tiny drops of sweat-beads on his forehead. His headache must be excruciating.

"Levi-san…" He whispered before blackened out. Rivaille stared at him stunned at the name calling, quickly caught the boy when he fell forward onto him.

"Eren!" Rivaille shouted when the boy collapse into his arms. The people who were nearby staring at them in worried. The waiter that had brought their food starting to get panic at the scene. Rivaille brows furrowed while he brought Eren in his arms.

"Damn it!" He cursed as he pulled Eren's mobile out from the boy's pocket. He adjusted Eren's weight on his lap, fumbling over the phone. He needed to bring Eren home, but he did not know Eren's house.. He needed either Armin or Mikasa to tell him. No, forget about Mikasa, right now, Armin was the best option. He cursed when Eren's phone was locked in a password. Forget it, he'd bring him home.

_**TBC** _

_I'm sorry if this isn't really a date n.n''_

"I… do." He said shortly. (I felt like writing a wedding scene here XDD –escape))


	8. Memory

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

[©AsakuraHannah @Ffn](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/8/)

**_Chapter 8 : Memory_ **

Rivaille gazed sadly at the sleeping boy who was lying in his bed. He went through all the trouble of bringing him back home, ignoring Irvin's surprised expression when he saw Rivaille with Eren on his back. Takeaway foods were in the plastic bag, dangling from his hands. He had considered stopping by in the park with Eren for a few minutes until he'd wake up on his own, but that was not a good option in the freezing weather, so he just called a taxi to take them home.

As he waited for Eren to regain consciousness, Rivaille bent down on the bed for a closer look when he saw the boy was frowning in his sleep. He wondered if he had pushed him too far when he attempted to make him remember everything. He brought his hand up to run it across his face in frustration.

"He's the one after all…" Rivaille raised his head to look at the clear glass mugs surrounded by a cold mist on top of the tray Irvin was holding. Irvin had watched his every movement from the entrance of the room. Never had he seen Rivaille lose his stoic expression like that. Never had he seen Rivaille looked so desperate and worried over something.

"What do you mean?" Rivaille asked, squinting his eyes at the older man. Irvin did not directly reply his question, setting the tray down.

"The boy who was from your past and the one that got caught up in that accident." Irvin stated. Rivaille didn't flinch at the sentence, but Irvin knew he winced on the inside.

"I find it hard to believe that you _finally_ acknowledged it. You almost sounded like my parent every time I brought that up, although you are not as bad as them." Irvin looked at Eren instead of replying to Rivaille's statement. Rivaille followed his gaze back to Eren's features, letting out a soft sigh.

"He's precious to me, Irvin. I don't even know why I have to meet him again. I… I tried to get away from him once. He almost lost his life during the accident because of me. Why do I have to meet him again now? Without knowing I've hurt him again, he kept running towards me, extending his hands to reach me and my painful memories. This is the second time. Last time I recall, he was in Germany. Why Japan?" Rivaille whispered. Irvin leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, studying him.

"I think they had been in Japan for a long time. Maybe it has something to do with Eren's mother. Either way, it was your fate to meet him again." Rivaille clenched his fists at the last word.

"I need to remind you though, Rivaille. Be careful, even if you are only an internship, a teacher is a teacher. Your age gap between Eren will be questioned and your teacher-student relationship will be claimed as an inappropriate by small-minded people." Rivaille snorted at that.

"I will contact Armin to let him know about Eren." Rivaille could only give a silent nod. Surely, as their homeroom teacher, Irvin had almost all the student's emergency contacts. While the older of the two busily searched for the numbers on his phone lists, Rivaille eyed Eren carefully. The brunet's eyebrows furrowed and his lips mumbling incoherently. Rivaille wondered what kind of dream he was having, hoping it wasn't the nightmare Rivaille was having almost every night. He took Eren's hands into his, holding them tightly.

* * *

"Levi." Armin walked inside the room towards his internship teacher. The raven's gaze made him feel slightly frightened for when their eyes met, but he knew Rivaille was a quiet person who loved to think a lot while gazing at others. Being his student for some time in the school had made him learn little by little about the older man. Not only that, the person before him was his childhood friend, even if Rivaille was now different from the cheerful boy Armin knew back then.

He was thankful when he had received the news from Irvin, having immediately ran towards his house. Rivaille had insisted on carrying Eren in his arms instead of letting Irvin drive them there. His will was turned down when Rivaille realized Eren's house was pretty far after he had walked a few stations, especially with Eren on his back. In the end, he borrowed Irvin's car for the drive to Eren's house. Armin even unlocked the door to the house when they found it was empty. Mikasa hadn't come back home, probably having gone straight to her part-time job. Luckily, Eren brought his own key along with him everywhere he went so that they could walk inside.

"Don't call me that. I'm… not Levi. I'm not longer an aristocrat, I threw that name away." Armin's eyes glistened in surprise when he heard those words. He gave a hesitant nod, shifting his eyes towards Eren.

"How's Eren?" The question was immediate.

"He is alright."

"I see…" Rivaille gave an indecisive look at the taller boy beside him before deciding to ask the question that had been nagging him.

"Can I ask one more question…? Did Eren also lose his past memories during the accident?" His heart clenched when Armin gave a sad look and nodded. Grimacing when he felt a pang of pain in his chest, he hastily turned his back to Armin.

"Do you… mean it?" Armin eyes looked up to Rivaille's back, waiting until the man turned his face towards him.

"The time when you said that we were your underlings in those… past memories you have." Armin was now fiddling with his own fingers nervously. Rivaille's expression never changed, but the teacher gave a short answer.

"Yes."

Armin remained silent; eyes casted downwards.

"Eren… did not know his condition about the loss of his memory." Armin said, earning a blink from Rivaille. Surely the raven did not expect him to talk about it. Raising his blue eyes to meet Rivaille's gaze, Armin gave a thin smile.

"You left to France because you felt guilty, but Mikasa took it in the wrong way. I don't know if I should be grateful about the way you tried to explain to Eren his past memories from his childhood. He had been desperate, confusing dreams with reality. I'm kind of glad that you could see those dreams yourself and tried to guide him. Even though Mikasa insisted that it was all just a nightmare." Armin's expression turned sour as he recalled the memory. Rivaille remained silent, allowing the boy to continue.

"I might be such a bad friend, being happy about the fact Eren lost his memory along with his past life. That time, you tried to catch him when he fell off of the tree. He misunderstood what Freedom Wings meant."

"It's my fault." Rivaille said, looking down with a harsh look on his face. Armin shook his head.

"Maybe it's for the best that Eren lost it all. He would suffer more if he continued remembering the past. If all those memories were painful, it's best if he just forgets it. I just want him to be happy in this life."

Rivaille gave a small nod. "I won't force him." He felt his heart being torn apart now. He shouldn't have tried.

"I hope you can understand." Armin whispered, giving Rivaille a last firm look, before walking outside the room. Rivaille leaned against the wall once again, biting his lower lip to the point blood started dripping down his chin.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered as he closed his eyes, eyebrows furrowed in deep regret. He pressed his palm hard against his temple, biting his lip painfully to suppress his sobs. A flash of memory ran in his mind.

_Rivaille's eyes stared up in worry when he saw the boy climbing up the tree. The balloon that was stuck on the tree branch was too high for him to reach. Not only that, the branch wouldn't be strong enough to hold his weight. He gave a gasp when Eren fell right after he grasped the balloon in his hand. Running as fast as he could, Rivaille stretched his arms far enough to catch the boy in his arms. Armin and Mikasa were shouting at them as the adults who were nearby started to run in their direction frantically._

_Rivaille fell onto the dirty ground with the boy in his arms, trying to shield him as much as he could from having an immense injury. He could hear his own breath hitch, and he ignored the pain shooting through several parts of his body. Having landed harshly, Rivaille rolled onto his back with a groan. As he sat up with Eren in his arms, his eyes widened when he saw blood trickling down the child's forehead. His face turned pale; he couldn't even hear the questions the people were throwing at him._

" _Mikasa, you wait here. I will call Doctor Jaeger!" Armin shouted, already running off before Mikasa could stop him. Rivaille quickly pulled his handkerchief from his pants pocket and wiped the blood away with trembling hands._ _His mind swayed with countless worries_ _. He picked up Eren in his arms, thinking that he should head to the clinic near the park as soon as possible._

_"Mikasa, wait here until Armin comes back with your father. Tell them I took Eren to the clinic near here."_

_The girl could only nod in silence; Rivaille knew that she wouldn't cry. She was a strong child._

* * *

_Holding on to Eren's hand, Rivaille sat down onto the bed. His eyes were staring down at the boy who was yet to be conscious._

_'_ This is my fault. If only I was there sooner. If only I had explained to him what freedom wings actually mean. If only I didn't tell him all the stories about them. But… Eren remembered almost all of it, I couldn't help it. If only the 3D Manuever Gear existed in this world.'

_Rivaille gave a murky glare as his hands trembled greatly. The doctor had said that the child was alright, excluding the wound on his head. All he could do now was wait for Eren to wake up and see if the things would be alright with him._

_"It's your fault, Levi." Rivaille raised his head when he heard a girl's voice. His eyes met with Mikasa's furious glare._

_"Mikasa…" Armin raised his hands to stop her. She walked closer to Rivaille instead, eyes never leaving him._

_"It's your fault that this happened. Tell me, where are those wings you were talking about? This is not how it was supposed to be. You're a liar!" Mikasa was now biting her lower lip after the final outburst. Rivaille could only stare at her wordlessly. He didn't say anything back to her, nor did he try to defend himself. He brought his palm up to his eyes, trying to cover them as they started gleaming with tears._

_'_ Why? Why do I have to meet him again? I thought when he'd remember his past life, we could be together again and have a happy life in this world. I almost endangered him. I almost made him lose his life.'

 _"I'm sorry." Those were the words that Rivaille_ _repeated several times, over and over until they turned into a haunted whisper_ _. He needed to get away from Eren, so that he would never be in any more danger. He had taken the risk too far; Eren was too small to know about the most dreadful of nightmares. He tried to cover up some of the information he had given to Eren about the violence and brutality which mankind had encountered, but the outcome turned worse than he thought it would be. He should have never spoken about the past life he had._

* * *

_Grisha shot Rivaille a look when the raven-haired boy told him he would be going back to his country. He couldn't stop himself from asking though, since he knew about some of the issues with Rivaille's parents._

_"Why?"_

_"I… don't want to wound him any further. I will get away. When he wakes up, please tell him I've gone home, back to France." Rivaille was surprised when Armin stood up from his seat. The blonde opened his mouth only to shut it again, not knowing what to say. Grisha put his hand on Armin's shoulder, shaking his head._

_"Just tell Mikasa I'm moving away. I'm sure she'll be happy."_

_Armin wiped at his tears as Grisha wrapped his arms around Rivaille, pulling him closer. He had looked at the boy as if he was his own son. The first time he had walked up to him, Rivaille was alone, confused and broken. Grisha then took him into his house, listening as he spilled his frustrations about his nightmares and past. Grisha listened sadly to all those memories that_ _caused Rivaille to be thrown out of his parent's home._ _He was being tossed into Irvin's hands, burdening the man with another useless boy who only knew how to dream even though he was already fifteen. Irvin was feeling pity over the fact he brought Rivaille outside of his country to try and take Rivaille's mind off of his problems._

_Only later did Grisha realize his stories were similar to his son's dreams. It was then that he saw the two boys were related and meant for one another._

_"Be strong, Levi. Be strong." Grisha whispered into his ear._

_"I'm sorry, Doctor Jaeger," Rivaille contorted his face as he felt the lump forming in his throat; he let a single tear slide along his cheek. Grisha shook his head again, soothingly caressing the boy's back. He shouldn't be apologizing, it was an accident, and Grisha understood the cause of it._

_When Rivaille told Irvin that he wanted to go back to France, he insisted that he did not want to return to his parent's house. He stayed with Petra, Irvin's childhood friend. He threw his name away and changed it to Rivaille, since it was the name he was supposed to have, according to his past life._

_What he did not anticipate was Eren losing his memory upon awakening, of both Rivaille from the past and Levi of the now_ _._

* * *

Rivaille was long gone when Mikasa got home. She had received the news about Eren from Armin. It was almost sunset by the time Eren had regained his consciousness and she had never left his side ever since she had gotten home.

Her worried features turned to relief when Eren opened his eyes for the first time. His gaze scanned his surroundings, realizing that he was in his own room. The brunet slowly sat up, wincing as his head pounded with pain. He recalled a vivid childhood dream about the way Rivaille had caught him in his arms before he had fainted. He couldn't feel the pain, but the state of his mind made him as if he was really injured.

"Eren," Mikasa called out, causing him to turn his eyes onto her. She kept still in her chair, watching the boy's gaze slowly change from confusion into anger. Mikasa blinked in surprised when the glare was thrown at her.

"Why did you keep it a secret?" Eren's husk question made her stiffen in alertness just in time as Armin walked into the room with a tray of soup in his hands. He glanced up at them in surprise when Eren's question reached his ears.

Armin hurriedly walked over to the nightstand to put the tray down. He then moved to stand by Mikasa, and the both of them exchanged a meaningful look, before finally turning to Eren.

"Why did you keep a secret about me having lost my childhood memories?" Eren was now gritting his teeth, fisting the blanket on his lap in barely-controlled rage.

"Eren, what did you hear from Rivaille?" Mikasa rose to her feet, unfazed.

"Not much. He just said that I lost my memories when I was 7. Why did you hide it from me? I… think I remembered them now… somehow."

Mikasa looked away from the hurt written over Eren's expression. Armin was the one to step forward.

"Let me explain, Eren. We did not mean to hide it from you forever. It's just that… we wanted to avoid the painful memories from your past." Armin nodded when Eren shot him a surprised look. Mikasa touched Armin's hand, trying to stop him, but she didn't protest when Armin shook his head, signalling he intended to continue.

"Are you telling me that I also have past life memories?" Eren ran his palm over his forehead, wincing. Too many things had happened, he wasn't sure if he was ready to face all of them. Armin put his hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

"Please don't be mad at Mikasa. It was my idea, actually. That time we were in Germany, I came along with your family for the holiday. And since your father's hometown is in Germany, we stayed in your relative's house. Do you remember?" Armin stopped, letting Eren recall the events little by little. He felt relieved when Eren nodded at him.

"You told me before that you had a dream where you fell off a tree because you were trying to reach for a balloon. Then you got into an accident, do you remember that now?" Armin was now sat on the edge of the bed beside him. Mikasa sat back down, fiddling with the edge of her scarf with trembling hands.

Eren gave another nod. He remembered. Armin gave a smile as he continued; letting his best friend take in the information, just to make sure he remembered everything without a doubt.

_Carla called out Eren's name a few times when she saw that her son was stirring up. It had been five days since the accident and finally, Eren regained his consciousness. Armin's face lit up, while Mikasa quickly ran towards them, eyes gleaming with hope. As the boy sat up and green eyes finally focused on his surroundings, he let out a groan._

" _Eren, are you alright?"_

 _Eren stared at his mother for a moment, wincing as the pain shot through his temple._ " _Mother?"_

 _His mother was overjoyed when he called out to her, hugging him tightly. Eren's eyes focused on the two children beside her. Frowning at them, he opened his mouth to question his_ _curiosity_ _._

" _Who… are they?"_

_Armin's eyes widened when he heard him. Mikasa's mouth dropped open. Carla sucked in a breath, looking at him in bewilderment, hoping that he was just joking. Much to her chagrin, the joke never came._

" _Mikasa, call your father," she ordered, earning a nod from the girl. As Mikasa ran outside the room, Armin asked Eren if he remembered his own name. Strangely the boy nodded at him. It didn't take long for Grisha to rush inside and examin his son. After a few examinations, he came to a conclusion that Eren had lost a few of his memories. He didn't remember most of the things that had happened during the accident, nor did he remember the boy who had saved him from crashing directly to the ground. He didn't even remember his own 'vision' anymore._

_Grisha was confused about how that could have happened. He assumed that it probably because of the painful memory of him that Eren's mind was reacting that way. Deep inside the conscious state of his mind, Eren really wanted to forget the painful past life he was having. That's why he lost the memory. It was just a matter of time until Eren inevitably regained them again, but Grisha couldn't be sure when that would happen._

_He concluded that if it was triggered by something related to them, his past memories could come back. Mikasa and Armin were alerted to that last piece of evaluation._

_Much to their relief though, Eren's life could be considered as normal aside from forgetting small little things here and there. They assumed that introducing their names and other things for him wouldn't hurt. At least the boy seemed much happier. He seemed refreshed. He could laugh a lot. Armin was happy that his friend was changing. Maybe it was for the best after all. That was why he decided to tell Mikasa and his parents to just keep the past life a secret, along with the accident and Rivaille._

"Not long after that, we went back to Japan… You… also forgot about Rivaille who we were calling Levi back then. He changed his name to Rivaille now, since he disliked the aristocrat's ties in his name. I don't know why he chose Rivaille though; the pronouncement is almost identical. Maybe he has his reasons…" Armin grew silent, studying Eren's expression.

"Levi…"

Armin and Mikasa exchanged looks.

"I'm sorry, Eren. I don't want you to confuse dreams with reality. I must really be a bad person, feeling happy about the fact you lost your childhood memories. I don't want you to remember those painful dreams anymore. Maybe that Freedom Wing really does exist, you fly off towards freedom without any painful memories at all."

Eren gave him a look at that last sentence. Somehow it sounded rude. But he did not retort back. He felt hurt, not because his friends were hiding the truth from him, but because he couldn't remember his past life anymore. Maybe when he was little, he did wish those crazy nightmares would vanish. Maybe he did wish to forget about all of it.

Until he met 'Levi'. Now Eren wished to know everything, he wished to remember everything. He mistook the meaning of Freedom Wings. In the end, it was just a logo, a symbol and nothing else. It was just a 'hope' for humanity, as Rivaille had said. Knowing the fact that Rivaille still remembered those visions…

Eren bit his bottom lip. Rivaille's wings had been broken; he couldn't fly towards his freedom anymore. He was burdened with those aching feelings over him for who knows how long, as if to atone for something. Eren foggily remembered Rivaille telling him about 'taking a custody' on Eren. He remembered from one of his dreams he saw a desperate looking man, with tears and blood splatters on his cheek. What about that man? What did Rivaille have to atone? Does it have something to do with that man in his dream?

"Can you… leave me alone for now?"

Armin and Mikasa looked at each other before nodding. Both of them slowly walked outside the room, retreating as silently as they could. As soon as their steps went further and further away from the front of his room, Eren released a choked sob.

He wanted to know what had happened in the past. He wanted to know more about what was going on with their relationship. Why was he so attached to Rivaille, and why did the man seem to look at him with that hurt and yet longing gaze whenever their eyes met? Knowing that Rivaille couldn't share those memories anymore with someone who understood him fully, it had to be painful.

That night, Eren cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Rivaille's eyes stared at the street ahead of him, mind recalling each scene that happened during the day. He was supposed to be storytelling to Eren about their past as much as he could, yet it was all spoilt. Rivaille stopped the car when the red light lit up. He brought both trembling hands off the steering wheel to rub them across his face. After a few minutes of trying to hopelessly calm himself down, he slammed his fists against the steering wheel. Rivaille's broken gaze turned at the sunset before him; he felt sadness overwhelmingly crushing his heart.

He needed to create a distance… as far as he could for the last few of the months he'd spend in the country.

**TBC**

Okay, I think this chp had enough information for now. O.o''


	9. Distance

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.

[ ©AsakuraHannah @Ffn ](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/9/Overwhelming-Emotions)

* * *

_Eren found himself himself unable to move. He blinked a few times to make his sight more tangible before his eyes, trying to make out a few figures. He soon found out that he was kneeling down on the ground, both of his hands were cuffed behind him. His own rasped breath could be heard as his heartbeat hammering against his chest, sweat running down his chin. He didn't know why he felt the need to break free as fast as he could. Heaving slightly, Eren struggled to move but he wasn't able to pull his hand away, the chains were attached to the heavy pole which was plunged deep into the hole in the ground. As soon as he raised his head though, he knew he was making a big mistake. His green eyes were staring up at the man before him who stood with short gasps coming from his mouth. His body was covered with blood as few pieces of blades thrust against his back, it was like someone, or some people threw several blades directly to him. Eren felt himself starting to lose control when he shout. No matter how hard he screamed, he couldn't hear his own voice. Tears spilling down his cheek while Eren gawked at the man in horror. His stance look familiar but he couldn't recognize him. All he knew, he was screaming and crying in agony which soon made him blackened out._

* * *

Eren gasped when he awakened from the nightmare in full force. He gave a shudder breath when he remembered what dream he was having. He slowly sat up, putting his hand on his chest to calm his heartbeat. After a few minutes trying to calm his breath, Eren closed his eyes. He felt slightly relieved that he was awake now. He never had any kind of nightmare that horrible before. Who was the man before him? He couldn't make out his face at all. Running his hand to his throbbing temple, Eren shook his head. He needed to forget about the nightmare for now. He threw the blanket away from his lap and swung his legs off the bed to head to the bathroom.

Eren stared at his reflection in the mirror, checking if his eyes were swollen due to the tears last night. He was glad that he didn't look like some pathetic boy who was just break up. Eren splashed his face a few times to wake himself more.

"Eren, it's time to get ready." Mikasa's muffled voice outside his room made him replied at her with a shout, letting her know that he was in the bathroom. Once he didn't receive any answer from her, he took it that she had gone away from the front of his room. He quickly took his shirts off and bath.

When he came downstairs, Mikasa had been waiting for him to eat. Breakfast had never been so quiet before, Eren noticed that Mikasa was feeling a bit faltered to pick a conversation.

When both of them walked towards the front gate without any word, Eren decided to finally broke the uncomfortable silent.

"I've made up my mind. I… I wanted to know the past, even though it hurt me." Mikasa turned her head sharply at him, Eren looked down from her bewildered look.

"Even though it hurt me." The brunet repeated, pressing the fact that he _did not_ want Mikasa to object him. He was going to talk to Rivaille over this. He wanted the older man knew that he's willing to know everything he was supposed to remember.

Mikasa could only give a small sad smile at her brother when he walked past her with full of determination on his face.

"We are… still siblings, right?" Eren stopped walking outside the gate when he heard what she was saying. He quickly turned to face her, surprised when he saw the thin smile across her lips.

"Of course, but I don't want you to start with _'I did that because I'm your sister, I care for you'_ sentence." He cringed in disgust when he heard himself saying that. Mikasa couldn't stop her chuckled when it rolled out from Eren's tongue.

It was true though; she was like a mother figure, Mikasa didn't complain when she took over the job when their mother passed away. She knew she was adopted since Eren's mother couldn't have another child because of her illness, the fact that they became a family would never changed. She was Eren's childhood friend ever since they were babies. She was grateful that the Jaeger family decided to adopt her after her parent's death because of the accident. Mikasa was wittingly blaming herself for calling her father during his driving home, told him to get home faster since they brought her presents. The night when she found out her parent got their car crashed, she didn't cry until Eren comforted her with the red scarf he used to wear. He told her to cry when she wanted to, making her lose her cool by crying like a baby when she was supposed to be strong in a time like that. She was glad she got a brother, a cute one that is. The Jaeger family was happy that they could have a daughter in exchange.

Mikasa's train of thoughts disturbed when Eren voiced out his worry.

"Don't tell Dad I fainted. I didn't want him to worry." Eren reminded her. Mikasa nodded.

"He won't be back until tomorrow I think. I need to inform him that you've regained some of your lost memories, you know. You are still under treatment after all, Eren." Eren looked like he was about to object but then stopped; he knew he should at least let him know. The girl followed him when he started walking again after she closed the gate behind her.

"… I think you can enter your dad's room when he knew you've regained your memory." That statement made the boy threw a look at his sister, their eyes met for a second with Eren's eyebrow rose.

"Is there anything else that you've been keeping away from me?" Mikasa exhaled loudly.

"Nothing else other than that book Dad's been keeping you away from. Let's talk to him when he got back. Don't ask me about the book since you should read it on your own" The girl walked past him, ignoring his stillness.

"Fine." Eren rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe Armin and his own family were doing all of these to him. He'll know something soon enough. All he needed to think about now was talking to Rivaille to get to know more about his past life memories. Thinking about the man already made him excited, Eren bit his tongue. He surely didn't realize it but… He wanted to see him more and more. His hand unconsciously gripped his bag's handle tighter. It doesn't matter; he'll meet him soon and talk.

That was what Eren thought until they were in class, Eren's eyes gleaming with enthusiastic when he saw Rivaille came inside the classroom with his usual stoic face. His eyes found Eren's gaze and averted his eyes away, making Eren blinked at him. Wishing that it was just a simple ignorant act on Rivaille's side, he let it go. Deciding that he could have the whole day to talk with his teacher later, Eren focused on his lessons.

It was later when the lunch bell rang that Eren realized Rivaille rushed outside the room, as if trying to avoid any circumstance. Eren wanted to run after him, calling out for him, but he couldn't do that. He didn't want the other students have some weird idea about him chasing the teacher. Eren frowned as his mind drifted back to the previous day. Rivaille had been alright, unless there were some occurrence happened during his unconscious state.

"Armin." The blond who was taking out his lunch box looked at Eren curiously.

"After I fainted yesterday, Rivaille-san was the one brought me home, right?" Armin gave a nod, stillness in his mouth.

"I was wondering if he said something during my unconscious state." Eren's eyes were now boring through the entrance of the classroom. Armin knew what Eren was talking about.

"Rivaille-san didn't talk much. He just asked if you lost your previous life memory during the accident and also… he said 'sorry'." Armin had to lean closer to his friend to whisper his reply. Eren turned his head sharply to Armin, almost crashing their forehead in the process. He quickly drew back in surprise that Armin's face was closer than he thought.

"Sorry? What for?" Armin gave a hesitant look before answering.

"I told him you were hurt a lot during childhood, confused between dreams and reality. Maybe it's best if you better not knowing the past after all. I mean, you look so desperate and bewildered; I don't want you to end up hurting again. And he said he was sorry." Eren's eyes couldn't have gotten larger than Armin had thought. He flinched when Eren suddenly grabbed his collar forcefully, gasping at the harsh contact.

"Why? Why did you say that?" Eren's voice was pretty loud that the remaining students in class looking at them incredulously. They never thought that Eren and Armin would fight over something. Mikasa who was watching the conversation from behind quickly put her hand on Eren's grip.

"Eren, stop it." She reminded him about how easy he could lose control over his anger. Eren quickly let go of Armin, he hissed at him like a snake before walking past the blonde. As soon as he was outside the classroom, his feet brought him to run, eyes swiping the hall to search for the raven hair man. He spotted Rivaille was about to get inside the office.

"Rivaille-san." He called out. Eren's face drained when the man didn't stop or even budge to see who was calling him. He tried again but Rivaille only walked inside and closed the door before his face. The teen's feature went pale as his hand hovering on the door knob. He growled frustratingly while he ran his hands in his hair. What just happened? Everything was alright before, Eren was happy with the way things were. Now it was all crumbled into pieces. Eren threw a distressing look before he walked away from the office. He didn't want to cause commotion if he forced himself to go straight to Rivaille for having the talk.

Someone called him when he was about to head back to his classroom. He looked behind to meet with his senior, a third year student. Eren knew her, she was taking charge on the library's system, she's also a part of the student council. Her name was… Rico? Eren gave a slight bow to her when she walked up to him. There must be some errand to do.

"Jaeger, are you busy currently?" She asked when she stood directly in front of him.

"No, is there something I can help?" He offered with a smile when she nodded.

"Yes, the person who was in charge of sorting books in the library is currently on leave and there's no one to take the job for this week. We need some help with the sorting of the books that's been borrowed and returned in all sections. The boxes were starting to get full; we need someone to help out. I will take care of the payment, I knew you wanted _that_." Eren gave a nod before realizing what he just took was pretty huge in his hands.

"Wait, all sections? As in the first and second floor?" Eren went pale when Rico answered with a nod.

"I will double the payment, don't worry. You can ask someone to help you out for the sorting. I know Armin can help out; he's the most regular in the library after all. I'm sure he remembers almost all sections. Just give me the list of the books each day after you're done sorting them so I can input the lists in data." Eren pressed his lips together when he heard his best friend's name. He was slightly mad at him at the moment. _Why now?_ He gave a tired sigh mentally.

"Alright, fine." He needed some income after all. Rico gave another stoic nod before walking away.

"Thank you, Jaeger." She said without looking back. Eren scratched his head.

* * *

Mikasa stared at Eren who was sulking while he picked up some books off the large box. She volunteered when she found out about Eren's job, she was the student council after all. Helping around the school was her job. They work along with Armin even if Eren asked the blonde with a pout on his face. Armin was currently putting back some books to the other side of the hall in the library according to the books sections. Eren was taking the books little by little from the 'return' boxes back to the counter, while Mikasa type the lists of the books in the monitor to be given to Rico to input them directly in a password protection data. They were moving pretty fast for the first day, until Eren sulked with his train of thoughts.

"Eren." She tried to distract him out of his thoughts, earning a questioned look from his eyes.

"You're spacing out." Mikasa stated, making her brother exhaled noisily. He picked up some leftover books from the box, feeling happy that he had almost done with the second box. He was dejected when someone mercifully threw in another pile of books into the box, not even caring to give them into Eren's hands politely. The brunet glared at his best enemy while the taller guy smirked down at him in return.

"What are you doing here, Jean?" Eren mumbled irritatingly, putting the books on top of the counter for Mikasa to check them. He bent down to take the books Jean threw in, grunting when Jean put his arm around Eren's shoulder pretty harshly.

"Even I have to return some books." Eren rolled his eyes at that, shoving him away.

"I'm impressed you even know how to read this thick book." He eyed the book he just picked, earning a glare from the taller man. Eren smirked when Mikasa snorted at his words, not even try to hide it.

"That's not nice when I was about to give you some tips on dating and stuff." Jean moved closer to Eren when the shorter of the two gave him questioning look. As much as he was annoyed with him, Jean was pretty sharp when it's about romance. Although Jean was pretty dense about his own.

"Oh come on, it's no use trying to hide it from me. I saw you dating our internship teacher." Jean gave a wide grin when Eren dropped the books from his hands in reflex and Mikasa's surprised look was enough to make the statement became the obvious truth. Jean could have been laughing instead if he did not receive a painful jabbed in his stomach when Eren elbowed him.

"Not too loud dumbass! You hate me so much that you wanted me to be expelled and make him lose his job?" Jean growled as he clutched at his stomach with Eren glaring daggers at him. After a few seconds writhing in pain, which Mikasa and Eren pretend nothing happened, Jean let out a soft forceful chuckled.

"That's big news, you know. I could never imagine you actually going out with someone. A man too." Jean was now rubbing his stomach, throwing a smug grin to Eren. The green-eyes boy was composing himself to not to throw a punch just to wipe Jean's silly grin off his face. Mikasa threw him a warning look when their eyes met. Eren looked down at the last book he was holding, pouting as he look to his side only to notice Armin heading back to the counter with several other books in his hands.

"This is the last one from the other side. It's empty at least for today. I think we can continue tomorrow." Armin said, handing the books to Mikasa. The blonde looked at Jean and Eren puzzled, noticing the intense air surrounding them.

"It's not like that at all, Jean. You are having a big misunderstanding here." Eren mumbled, to him, avoiding eye-contact with Armin.

"What? Did he rejected you?" At that Eren clenched his fist.

"Jean, mind your own business! Can't you shut up? Why are you getting so worked up on this anyway?" Armin and Mikasa watched in full alertness as Eren starting to be more furious.

"Why are you so mad? I was just going to help you out and giving tips for… you know… in bed…" Mikasa and Armin could faintly hear an invisible rope finally snapped off. Eren pulled Jean by the collar and shoved him savagely onto the counter. The boy gasped in shock, hissing when his head slammed against the top of the counter painfully. Jean sucked in his breath when Eren glowered at him while inching his face closer.

"Listen bastard, I'm not in the mood for jokes right now. If you expect me to go blushing or spluttering, then you are wrong. You are being rude! Get the fuck away from me." Jean struggled as the grip of Eren's hand on his collar tightened. Mikasa and Armin quickly pulled Eren away from him.

"Eren, let go of him!" Mikasa said, prying his hand away from Jean's collar to let the guy breath.

"What's going on here?" Rico's shouted in full of annoyance, glowering at them. They stopped when Rico arrived, earning a soft sigh of relief from Mikasa and Armin. Rico crossed her arms in front of her chest, lips pursing at the sight in front of her.

"Listen both of you. I don't want to see anymore ruckus in the library. Jaeger, unless you want me to pay you well, behaves yourself and do something with your temper! Jean, I could get you suspended for trying to pick a fight with your friend. Now, all of you go home! I won't tolerate these behaviors anymore." She turned around to leave them alone after glaring daggers for the last time.

"Damn it, Eren! Why are you so vicious?" Jean massaged his neck after he straightened up himself.

"You are the one who started it!"

"I was just joking around as usual! You are no fun!" Jean smacked his shoulder quiet harshly, making the shorter boy gasped at him.

"Stop it!" Mikasa scolded them, making Jean jumped at the loud voice coming from her. That's not enough to make Eren stop though.

"You should know that I'm not in the mood for jokes! Can't you read the atmosphere for once? You are pathetic! If it's not because of Armin, I already-"

"Eren!" This time Armin shouted at him. Eren stopped, surprised by his sudden outburst. He quickly realized what he had almost spilled out. The blonde was now furious.

"Look, I'm sorry if Rivaille distance himself from you because of my words, but that doesn't mean you can go around leaking my privacy!" Armin hastily walked past them after he ticked off. Eren frowned at him, watching him walk outside the library through the back door. Mikasa gave a loud sigh, she was tired with these boys. Really, they are so childish.

"What… What about Armin? I don't understand what you were trying to say here." Jean scratched the back of his neck, fully confused.

"You…!" Eren was about to throw punch at him for being an idiot only to stop when Mikasa stomped on his foot painfully. Eren cupped his mouth, trying so hard not to laugh out loud. He felt relieved when Jean crouched down, holding onto his aching feet.

"Jean, you are such an air-head. It would be wise if you also look around you for a bit. Eren, do something with your bad habit. You should learn to control your emotions. Apologize to Armin." With that she walked away from the two. Eren threw the last book he was holding back into the box. It fell with a pretty loud thud, making Jean jolt in surprise at the sound. As the brunet ran past him, Jean stayed immobile. He was confused on what he was supposed to do.

"I don't know anymore." He groaned out loud. His plan on trying to help out seemed failed miserably.

* * *

Armin raised his head when he heard footsteps approaching him. The sun was starting to set when Eren drew near his long time friend. Armin was crouching down near the vending machine, looking forlorn. When he saw Eren pacing slowly to him, he looked away. He did not object though, when Eren leaned against the wall, carefully made some distance beside him.

"I'm sorry…" Eren mumbled when Armin didn't say anything of him being there. He looked down to Armin when the blonde remind silent, playing with the can he was holding. Eren soughed and crouched down, sitting on the dirty ground.

"I shouldn't have said that… though I wonder if you ever… realize that… he won't look at you, no matter how much you try. Seeing that Jean is always with Marco." Eren whispered, staring at him closely. Armin finally raised his head to look back into Eren's green eyes.

"That's why it's better left unsaid. I'm not even planning to confess. How come you know about it anyway?" Eren rolled his eyes.

"How many years we've been best friends?" Armin looked down at the sentence, his lips curved into a smile.

"Is this the first time we fight?" Eren chuckled when he heard him.

"You are right… We… never fight before. I'm sorry for… being such a jerk towards you." Eren clasped his hands together while hugging his legs.

"I just don't want you to suffer anymore. It's hurt seeing you like that. When you were little, you look miserable, never laugh. You look in pain with those heavy burden around you when you told me your nightmares. I'm sad that I can't do anything about it. Sometimes you even shout in your sleep, waking up full of sweat when I woke you. Maybe you don't remember anymore, but it's terrifying, Eren. That's why, when you lost your memory including your past life, I felt relief. I felt like the other part of you can finally leave you alone. I'm sorry!" Armin clutched his head, shouting his apologize. Eren shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so mean. I planned to tell you that I've made up my mind. I want to know the past; I want to know what happened. Rivaille said he wanted to atone something. I was curious of what happened to me, to us, in the past. That's why I'm so surprised when you said he was sorry. He ignored me today but I will try to talk to him tomorrow." Armin gave a nod.

"I understand." They looked into each other before Eren grinned. He stood up, offered his hand for Armin who took it with a smile on his face.

"We are still friends, right?" Armin asked, when he stood up, staring at Eren's wide grin.

"Of course, what kind of question is that?" the brunet laughed when he saw the look Armin giving him.

"Let's go home." Eren said, his friend nodded in agreement. Someone came out from the building just when they were about to walk to the gate. Eren looked at the man in surprised when Rivaille came outside, huffing at the boys when he saw them.

"Why are you two still here? Students should go home right after class." Rivaille said before quickened his pace. Armin patted Eren's shoulder, telling him to chase after Rivaille with the gesture.

"Rivaille-san!" Eren shouted, calling out to him. He threw a pain look when Rivaille didn't stop walking.

"Why are you ignoring me? Listen to me, I…"

"You are annoying. What do you want?" Eren stopped, aghast when Rivaille turned around to snarl him. When the brunet didn't say anything, he clicked his tongue.

"What? Why are you suddenly so clingy to me? Don't tell me that you believe everything I said to you during the last weekend?" Rivaile pulled out a fake smirk when Eren stayed still. Those green eyes gleaming in surprised, clearly Eren didn't expect him to say those sentences.

"You…" Eren stopped when Rivaille let out a soft chuckle.

"I was just trying to get your trust, wondering how fast you'll trust me. It's not fun anymore." He rolled his raven eyes and turned around from Eren. A car drove near the gate and Rivaille walked further away from the boy.

"No, that's not what I mean! Why are you lying? Rivaille-san!" Eren hastily ran to catch up with him but Rivaille had gone into the car, Irvin looked at Eren questioning. Rivaille just slammed the door shut, telling Irvin to start driving.

"Levi-san!" Eren shouted as loud as he could, tried to run after the car, tripping himself in the process.

"Eren!" Armin ran towards him, he fell on his knees beside his friend, eyes shifting between the car and Eren.

"You are a bad liar, Levi!" Eren shouted as his body trembling in rage.

"Eren, I don't think Rivaille had any reason to lie to you." Armin said, pulling Eren's arm to help him on his feet. Eren gritted his teeth when his eyes gleaming with tears. Eren looked down, he knew... He knew the man was lying.

' _Damn it, Rivaille! What do you think I am? I won't be easily fooled! You are a bad liar!'_

"Let's go home. I will stay the night with you." Eren slowly stood up.

"I know… I know he's not lying." Eren breathes, Armin watched at him sadly. A limo ran head towards their direction, making Eren and Armin looked behind. They were surprised when Jean opened the window and pouting at both of them.

"Get in." He commanded shortly, offering them that he would take them home with his limo. Eren and Armin had no reason to object him.

* * *

Irvin looked at Rivaille who stayed silent. He still didn't know what was going on, but he was sure that his ears were not playing tricks on him. Eren didn't just called Rivaille…

"Are you sure it's okay? Did he just called you Levi?" He looked back to the street when Rivaille didn't reply. His cousin looked like he was just being sucker punched. The dreadful look on Rivaille's face was enough to not to ask about anything at the moment.

Rivaille clenched on his pants with trembling fists.

'What have I done?'

**TBC**

Reviews are much appreciated. thank you  Let me know what you think.

 


	10. Reaching You Again

[ **_© AsakuraHannah @FFn_ ** ](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/10/Overwhelming-Emotions)

Jean decided to stay for dinner after  finding out that Mikasa had prepared sandwiches. His reasoning apparently was that Eren got Armin to stay over the night. She was practically furious when Jean was the one who brought them home, not because it was Jean, but because she hadn't prepared dinner for nearly that many.

"I'm hungry." Eren groaned, only to stop his whining when he received a death glare from Mikasa.

"It's your fault for bringing so many people without warning. Help me prepare these sandwiches! I will prepare the fries and salad!" She said, earning another grunt from Eren. Her brother did what she told while the guests snickered at him.

"Do you need some help?" Armin asked all of the sudden, he went back to his seat when Eren waved at him to stay where he was.

"It's alright, guests should just be quiet." Eren said, cutting the sandwiches without difficulties.

"Oh no, I forgot that we only got one tomato left." Mikasa slammed the refrigerator shut.

"It's okay, we'll just have what you have right now. No need to prepare so much for us." Jean stuttered as Mikasa gave another complaint. He felt bad for going to a friend's house uninvited.

"Well, considering you are the richest here, we'll feel bad about not preparing anything, Your Majesty." Eren rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic joke. Mikasa and Armin groaned inwardly.

"Eren, if you pick another fight I'm sure this knife will fly towards your direction in any second." Mikasa lifted it up in the air, making Eren swallowed nervously. He went back to the task at hands, putting the sandwiches on the empty plates in neat order. Jean chose to ignore Eren's sarcasm, afraid that the knife would change its direction towards him as well.

"Okay, only the fries left." Eren said after a few minutes, putting each plate on top of the table.

"Eren, can you check the fries? I think it's about time. I need to clean some bowls for the salad." Eren nodded and walked towards the stove and turned it off. The two friends watched them in stillness, slightly feeling out of place. Jean grunted at the sight in front of him.

"Dammit, They'd look like a wedded couple if it wasn't for the fact that they're siblings. But then again, they're not real siblings." Jean muttered, making Armin chuckle at him.

"Eren got his heart taken though." Armin muttered back to Jean. The taller guy lifted his eyebrow at the statement, changing his gaze towards Armin.

"Are you sure about that? I mean the way he acted today, it was like he was being dumped or something." Armin gave a nervous laugh, he knew the cause, but some things were better left unsaid to Jean. He knew how the boy couldn't stay calm towards other people's problems. It was actually not a bad thing, but some people might find it a bit disturbing.

"Let's see where this will lead to." The blond said, watching as Eren scooped the fries up to the plate. They were going to have a very nice and chattery dinner, he couldn't help but to get excited. Armin was glad that Eren's mind could be taken off from the previous event. He needed some time off from his problems.

"I'm still amazed by the fact that you brought your limo here. Is… that even yours?" Armin tried to make him talk. Jean cleared his throat at the query and shifted in his seat before answering.

"Well, that's not really mine, it's Dad's. I just… everyday, I called home to pick me up and stuff. That's why I usually went home pretty late, trying to avoid the other students seeing me like that. But hey, I insisted on walking up to school only from a few kilometers away." He said, full of pride. Eren grimaced when he heard him.

"You sure it's alright to make your driver wait here?" Armin pressed.

"It's alright. I decided to bring you guys home after all… Just… wanted to show some apology for my behavior, I guess?" He looked at Eren who had his arms crossed while staring at him.

"Are you saying that you felt guilty of your rude behavior and decided to apologize to me with bringing a limo? I think if you decided on that, you should treat us something instead of making Mikasa cook. Unless you only want to taste her cooking, but home-made sandwiches? Seriously, Jean. Marco will cry." Jean was now spluttering while Armin tried so hard not to laugh too loud while Mikasa snorted on the corner of the kitchen. She was halfway putting the salad inside two bowls and was ready for the finishing touch with the sauce.

"That's not what I meant, idiot!" Jean slammed his fist on top of the table, blushing furiously. Rolling his eyes, the brunet placed the fries on top of the sandwiches, measuring the amounts to be the same on each plate. Eren stuck out his tongue at the tallest boy.

"You must be having your life pretty neat and easy everywhere, Mr. Horse-face." Jean sighed and hesitantly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Let's not talk about it…" Eren raised an eyebrow when the taller boy ignored his name calling. Was he trying to be courteous?

"You should be happy." He muttered and dragged the chair to take a seat. One of the reasons why he disliked Jean was because he was pretty rich and had his life easy. He wasn't sure if the boy had ever encountered a harsh life before, but he didn't have any reason to hate the boy. Maybe he was annoyed by that fact since he couldn't even earn his own car anymore now. The only car they got was his father's to use when he went out of town for work. The only thing that's important now was that they had enough income to pay for school and their living. Even if the money their father send each month was enough when piled up to at least got one more car for them to use, Grisha had warned them to not to stop school no matter how hard their life was. Mikasa had taken charge of the money for their school and their living such as food and other things much better spend. For now, it was enough, besides, the school they were in right now was not that far from home. Thinking that he shouldn't let that kind of thoughts bothered him, Eren shoved the thoughts away.

The dinner took place in the most havoc as ever, especially with Jean and Eren sat while facing each other with Mikasa and Armin tried to hold their killing intention on the two of them. They had no idea why both boys could never able to hold a few seconds without mockery and sarcastic remarks here and there. Armin and Mikasa couldn't be more than glad when Jean finally decided to go home. After the 'horse-face' as to what Eren liked to call Jean left, Eren dragged Armin up to his room to talk about the event that happened a few hours ago.

It was getting close to midnight by the time Eren brought his comforter up above his head while Armin crawled closer on the bed next to him. Both of them had the light off and excitedly climbed on the bed as soon as they got inside the room. The only light remained was from the small lamp on the windowsill that Eren put up, it was dim but enough for Armin to still read his book he had brought with him. The two made themselves comfortable against the pillow with their stomach on the bed, propping their bodies up to their elbows. Eren looked down curiously at the book Armin was holding.

"Reading before sleep as usual?" The question made Armin's lips curve up.

"I don't mind if you want to spill your frustration during my reading time. I can listen." The blonde said, meeting his blue eyes with Eren's emerald orbs. Eren gave a sigh and slammed his face against the pillow.

"I don't even know what to say about him." His voice muffled by the pillow but Armin gave a short nod.

"I want you to know that he was desperate on carrying you in his arms every time you fainted, Eren. It's two times already." Eren shot his head up, making Armin jolt at the sudden movement. Armin held his laughter when he saw how red his best friend's face was.

"He cared for you, Eren. I'm sure he lied to you about what happened in school a few hours ago. He wanted to protect you from any danger that had happened in the past after seeing you faint two times. I'm afraid it would trigger your worst past life nightmare. As far as I see, you suddenly remembered your childhood memory when you fainted, right? It was like seeing a dream that suddenly got real. I know I've said to him about the way you were desperate during your childhood, he probably thought it's better to make some distance and let you get your own life ahead of you without him. After all, when he left to France that time, he made it clear that he… didn't want to cause you any further danger."

Eren went silent, listening to Armin's words always helping. He was smarter than anybody when it was about the situations around him. He looked down to his pillow, sulking when he thought about Rivaille's words to him.

"I know he's lying, but… He could have said it in a different way." Armin chuckled at the complaint.

"This is Rivaille we are talking about after all."

"Why won't you try to talk to him again tomorrow?" Armin patted his shoulder, making Eren groane and roll to his side facing his best friend.

"I will. No, I must." He covered his eyes with his hand as he shifted on the bed to lie comfortably. Armin gave a small warm smile at Eren. He thought Eren had noticed his own feeling toward the man, the smaller boy was surprised on what Eren asked him next.

"Armin. Why am I so attached to him? I'm not talking about the past life, here." Armin stiffened when Eren's green eye gazed him questioning from between his fingers where he could see Armin's face turned crimson.

"Eren…" he paused for a moment while Eren gave him a clueless gaze, waiting for an answer.

"Find that out yourself." Armin quickly closed his book and turned his back to his best friend when the brunet threw him a disappointed look. He was glad that Eren decided to drop the subject and turned the dim light off.

* * *

Grisha dropped his bag when he heard the news about his son from Mikasa as soon as he arrived on their doorstep. He quickly ran upstairs to his room, knocking the door several times with a pounding heartbeat in his chest. The door opened with Eren looking up at him, frowning. His eyes lightened up when he saw his father before the door.

"Dad? You are early, I thought you wouldn't be home until tomorrow?" Eren looked back to where Armin had sat up on the bed when Eren opened the door. Grisha noticed his friend and he gave a small nod, acknowledging his presence.

"I heard what happened from Mikasa." He stated, staring down at Eren who threw him an astonished look.

"I see… I'm fine now, though." He gave his father a reassuring smile as not to make him worried. Grisha put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"What did you remember?" he whispered, pulling his son closer to him in a warm hug after he saw the look on his son. Eren shook his head.

"Nothing much, just a childhood memory and a few dreams and nightmares" Grisha gave a nod knowingly.

"Dr. Jaeger, maybe you should show Eren his medical record book." Armin said, having stood before the two of them with a firm look on his face. Grisha gave another nod, agreeing to the blond immediately. Eren's brows furrowed when he heard about the book.

"What have you been keeping secret from me?" His brow furrowed at the two before Grisha mentioned Eren to follow him downstairs. Eren gave him a quizzical look until Armin patted his back..

"Follow him and you'll understand." Armin pushed Eren out of his room and led him downstairs following Grisha.

When they were downstairs, Eren was surprised once he saw Mikasa standing before his father's opened room, fully inviting him to come inside. He timidly looked inside, scanning the surroundings, feeling slightly relieved that he didn't find anything weird in the room like he had expected. Armin pushed him inside just in time when Grisha turned around from his work desk. Eren took the book that his father showed him, his eyes examined the cover of the book. He hesitantly looked up to his father, unsure if he should open it.

"Read it. It's yours now." Grisha said. He told Eren to sit down on the bed with Mikasa and Armin each by his sides. Now that the three of them stared down at the book, Eren felt nervous. The book didn't look like anything special, it was an old book with so many scrapes on it. Not only that, from the edge of the paper, he could see some pages were torn apart. His fingers traced the side of the book, it wasn't very thick, but not very thin either. When he finally decided to open it, Eren found his old photo pasted on the page which he noticed he was seven when it was taken. He flipped the page and his mouth hung open when he saw a boy around the age of 15, staring right into the camera with Eren in his arms. His expression was stoic than ever, but the hint of happiness in his eyes was evident. As he looked closer, he saw a thin smile on the boy's lips with Eren circling his small arm around his neck. Eren's other hand form a peace sign while grinning widely at the camera. His eyes glistened when a flash image came into his mind. He remembered the boy's surprised look when he called out to him by his past life name.

"That's Rivaille." Armin said, pointing his forefinger to the boy with a smile at what time Eren's fingers lightly traced on the photo. Grisha sat on the chair in front of his desk, eyeing the three of them.

"Rivaille?" Armin nod at the inquiry of Eren's father.

"Levi, I mean. He changed his name to Rivaille."

"I see… I think it was written somewhere in there, that Rivaille name. It got some connection of his past life, I guess. No wonder." Grisha's lips curved up at the memory.

Eren flipped another page and he read the descriptions written on it. It was written about how he reacted towards a certain things, about his surroundings and about the way he communicated with people around him. Each was written hastily with some detail date and time, clearly a doctor's handwriting.

"How come I didn't know when I'm being examined thoroughly?" Eren pursed his lips and flipped another page to find Armin's photo with him clinging to the boy as if refusing to let him go. His green eyes flickered towards his father. Grisha spoke up when his son wanted some explanation.

"When you were little, you always complained on your nightmare. You told us something about a war, you were a soldier, and you fought the monsters called Titans everyday to help humankind. At first I thought you were just being a child with so many dreams, but lately I realized that you were even confusing your dream to reality. It was painful to watch when one day you woke up screaming. You said something about the Titan will crush our house and eat your mother. It was confusing to tell you that now you had a different life, that we live normally now. There's one day when you just wouldn't go out of the house because you were too scared to fight." Grisha paused for a moment to let the information sunk into his son's mind. Armin chuckled and spoke up.

"The time when you met me, you were crying, you were concerned about my well being after you passed away. I'm so shocked when I heard it and worried about your sanity. In the end we figured out that the people in your dreams were actually from the past life."

Eren remained silent while he listened to their stories, flipping the page and found the story about Armin written on the next page. As he continued flipping the pages, he saw Rivaille's photo. Under the photo, there was a small hand written. Eren traced the black ink with his fingers.

 _Rivaille Heichou._ Eren hadn't realized he was saying quite loud, jerked his head up to his father when he gave another explanation.

"That boy, Rivaille, was the one you called out often. You kept calling him Rivaille Heichou. When I met Levi, he was not in a good condition with his family. I was worried he might do something he'd regret, so I had him come over to our house and had him spill everything during the visit. He told me about his past life memory and the reasons he was in Germany. His cousin brought him there along to take the boy's mind off the problems while he got work to do in the country. What surprised me the most was when he told me about you. He mentioned your name." Eren's eyes gleamed with hope when Grisha told him about the boy who was now his teacher.

"I think I remembered." He murmured. Grisha gave a smile and nod.

"You were too little to understand anything surrounding you. The time you saw him, you shouted at his title. You called out 'Rivaille Heichou' pretty loudly, surprising him." Eren felt a lump on his throat, making it harder to swallow.

"I did, didn't I?" He forced out his voice with a dry chuckle. He felt his eyes sting when his vision starting to get blurred by the tears. He bit his lower lip when he looked down, trying to forget the need to bawl like a baby.

"Dad, can I keep this book? I want to know everything I need to know." Eren asked, closing the book and hugged it closely to his chest. Even if it had been just the record of his medical treatment on how he react during the remnants of his past life, Eren felt the need to know every piece that he had lost. He wanted to know how he reacted towards the older man when he was still seven, he wanted to know more about the current Rivaille in this life as well. He was glad that Grisha gave another nod of approval.

"You can have it, read it for all you want. Just don't force yourself when it hurts too much." Eren gave a silent nod as a reply.

"Thank you." Armin and Mikasa looked at each other, both comforting their friend by putting their hands on his shoulders. In a time like that, Eren felt like he was the smallest of the three siblings. He was glad that he might at least get pieces of his childhood memories little by little. Now the only one left was to let Rivaille opening up to him.

His fingers unconsciously grip the edge of the book a little harder that it turned white.

* * *

 _Rivaille was confused he wasn't sure where he was heading. The boy around the age of seven pulling him into the dark forest, the boy sure knew where he was heading. Rivaille stopped when the boy stopped walking, his green eyes gleaming sadly at him when he turned around to look up to Rivaille. The oldest of the two slowly broke their hands away from each other. He wasn't sure what to say while he brought himself kneel_ _ing_ _down before the boy, staring deep into his green eyes. He recognized those green orbs._

_"Eren…" Rivaille stopped when the boy's lips curved up into a smirk. Much to Rivaille's dismay, Eren's clean smooth face suddenly covered with splotches of blood. He felt himself going rigid on his spot when Eren leaned closer to him, murmuring against his ear with full of amusement in his voice._

_"Do you remember this place? Inside the forest, near the lake…" Rivaille's pupils trembled as the memory recalled him. He suddenly felt difficult to swallow the lump in his throat._

_"The place where we both ended our life. No. Actually, the place where you ended my life." Eren laughed before his ear, which turned louder when Rivaille backed away. He couldn't look away from those green eyes which turned into darker red. Rivaille opened his mouth to shout, trying to shield his eyes when he saw blood trickling down Eren's forehead. He desperately screamed, trying to shield his vision before his eyes._

Rivaille gasped when he was awakened from his nightmare. He abruptly sat up on his bed, trying to forget about what his nightmare. Rivaille gave a shaky breath, clutching his shirt with a wince. Realizing that he was sweating hard, the man gave a grunt of discomfort.

"What the hell…" He muttered to himself, he brought his hand across his face. He needed to wake himself more with a cold water. He threw his blanket aside and quickly walked towards the bathroom. He didn't need another nightmare, he didn't want to remember that he was the cause of Eren's suffering. He needed to take the blame off from his shoulders. Ever since Rivaille got a nightmare, it was always ended up being blamed for the cause of Eren's death. Be it in the previous life, or in the current life. They were always the same, they were blaming him for what happened even if Eren didn't lose his life in the present…

Rivaille threw his clothes in the hamper filled with dirty clothes in a frustrating manner. He knew about it, he tried to atone it with entering the military, but even he couldn't deny the fact that even if he got hurt, even if he got shot or even if he was wounded badly, nothing he could do to repay what he had done. The man punched the nearest wall, gritting his teeth in annoyance.

"What am I supposed to do?! It's not like I haven't tried at all." Growling in full of frustration, Rivaille tried to compose himself from giving another fit of anger. After a few minutes calming himself down, he slowly walked into the shower and spray cold water on his head.

* * *

Rivaille eyes drifted to his desk, wondering if there's something he should bring to class today. His eyes scanned the intership reports he had finished the night before along with some other stuff that should be signed by his lecturer. Rivaille slowly picked up one of the papers he had finished. Pixis had made it clear to send the reports via email to him last night, but he hadn't finished the last paragraph of his thesis. The man frowned, considering the amount of work he should be doing within the end of the month. He flipped through his paperwork and found a small note at the very corner of his report.

 _'Continue the draft for first book'_ Rivaille quickly threw the papers down. He clutched his head when a sudden ache shot through his temple.

"Oh no. This… I shouldn't have started from the first place." He cursed himself before shoving the report into the desk drawer. He gathered his things and walked outside the room, ready for breakfast.

Irvin had the toast and eggs ready on the plates when he arrived in the kitchen. The taller guy looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see his cousin walked to the table with a frown on his face. He gave a soft sigh and shook his head before burying his face underneath the newspaper again. Rivaille scoffed at the guy's reaction after Irvin saw him coming.

"If you got any complain, let it out." He mumbled and took a seat across Irvin.

"I was just wondering about the frown on your face. It's only morning and you are already so hard on yourself." Irvin replied without lowering the newspaper. Rivaille immediately pressed his forefinger to the middle of his eyebrows as if trying to smoothen it.

"Well, I got a hard life ahead of me." Irvin looked up to him right after he said that, chuckling when Rivaille raised his brow puzzled.

"If you think your life is hard, it will be harder to walk on your path, Rivaille. Loosen up a bit." Irvin folded the newspaper in his hands neatly before he brought his chair closer to the desk, ready to eat his breakfast.

"I want to move back to France. Irvin, can you do something about my internship?" Irvin was taken back by the sudden request.

"Rivaille, you know you can't always run away from your problems. Even if you want to go back, you should at least finish your internship first. This is your last semester." Irvin was not happy when Rivaille glared at him. He raised his hand to stop another comment coming from his cousin.

"The answer is no." he said and picked up his knife and fork to start eating. He ignored Rivaille scowling before him while they eat.

"How's the report going? What about the draft of the book you are writing?" Rivaille's fork clattered on the plate at the question.

"Don't ask." Rivaille glowered at his breakfast meal. He didn't feel like continuing the book anymore now that everything had gotten out of hands. He wasn't even sure if he still wanted to put the characters in his dreams into his writing. Changing the plot was now impossible, especially when he still got so much list of the characters personality and plots to be given in this last month. Rivaille was frustrated.

 _'I don't even know if I can continue finishing the book with… Eren as one of the characters in the draft. Why do I even think of writing it…'_ Rivaile pressed his palm over his forehead, sighing slightly. He remembered last night event, he remembered his own words, he remembered the way Eren shouted his former name. Rivaille gritted his teeth.

"I've wounded him yet again."

* * *

The day had never been so long for both Eren and Rivaille. They waited impatiently for the end of the day with Rivaille hoping to avoid his student and Eren tried to pick some attention from the assistant teacher. Especially after Rivaille finished his lectures about writing an essay paragraph and dividing plots one each use during the class, Eren had raised his hand along with several other students for questions section. Rivaille had deliberately ignored him for a few times until the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Rivaille would never think about giving the boy detention at the very end of the day when Eren suddenly made a commotion. There the boy, stood right in front of Jean, looking terribly pissed over something.

"Jean, didn't you say you wanted to help me yesterday?" Eren suddenly asked in a husky whisper, eyes never leaving Rivaille when the man starting to gather his things. Jean who was busy shoveling his books into the bag lifted his eyes to him questioningly. He was surprised when Eren's hand suddenly yanked his collar in full force.

"Wha-"

"Help me to get a detention." He smirked, giving him the signal. Jean hesitated for a moment before pushing Eren from him in full force, making the brunet tumble a few steps backwards, and fall to the cold hard floor after hitting the table behind him. That was enough to draw all eyes to them.

"Don't get me in trouble!" Jean shouted at the shorter boy, eyeing Rivaille warily when the man glowered at the two. Mikasa and Armin groaned tiredly when they saw the two of them; they should have known the tactic. The two best friends shook their head to Jean who threw them a panic look.

"Jaeger!" Rivaille's shout could be heard until outside the classroom. Those emerald eyes looked up at him for a moment before he scrambled back to his feet, patting a few dust off his pants nervously. It was true that he was aiming to get a detention, but when their eyes met, Rivaille looked scarier than ever.

"I…"

"Detention like, right now. I was in a hurry for my reports to be done, you get yourself in so much trouble." Those raven eyes were glaring daggers at Eren who was now regretting his tactic. For the first time that day, it's Eren's turn to avert his eyes away. The teacher knew he did it on purpose on the commotion.

* * *

"What the hell do you want?!" Rivaille hissed right after all students left the classroom, he had Eren backed into the corner. The sunset light which on the back of the window made the brunet hair seemed glowing, Rivaille had to force himself not to stare at the soft tussled hair of his.

"I just wanted to talk." Their eyes hardened for a few minutes before Rivaille let out a groan. Eren let out the breath he had unconsciously been holding when he saw that Rivaille didn't attempt any harm.

"I thought I made it clear that-"

"No, don't lie to me. I knew you were lying last night, Levi." The press on the name made Rivaille flinched, his face contorted at the name.

"Don't call me that." Rivaille's snarled. Eren blinked at the command, he bit his lip.

"I just want to say that I remember my childhood."

"Yeah right, awesome. I don't care." Before he was able to leave, Eren tugged his hand in his into his.

"Wait, listen!" Eren stared at Rivaille's back, gulping at what he was about to say next. He just hoped that he wouldn't screw this up.

"Corporal. Rivaille Heichou." As soon as he let the words spill out, Rivaille abruptly turned around. Eren was shocked when he saw Rivaille's face look so pale. The next thing he knew, Rivaille had pushed him away like he was some kind of a bug that could spread disease just by a simple touch. Eren hit the window behind him, a soft surprised gasp came out when he accidentally knocked the back of his head against the glass pane.

"What are -" Eren stopped his sentence when he noticed the look on the man before him. The hand that had pushed him away trembling greatly while Rivaille took a few steps back. He couldn't believe on what he was seeing. Was it something he said?

"What did you just call me?" Rivaille asked in a very soft tone that Eren could barely hear.

"Am I not supposed to call you that? You have explained to me before that you were my superior…" Eren mumbled, unsure whether he should look directly into his black eyes which were gleaming in sorrow.

"Don't call me that anymore. I… I don't deserve it." Rivaille fingers curled into fists, his face distorted in a false smile, brow furrowed with so much regret. Eren stayed still, unsure of what he was supposed to say. Somehow, Rivaille's expression scared him a little. He thought when he remembered his memories, he could get closer to him. He thought the man would open up to him. He did not expect Rivaille to make more distance instead of running back towards his direction. His heart almost stopped when Rivaille shook his head and turned away from him.

"If you don't remember anything at all from the previous life, it's better that way, Eren. Don't force yourself to remember anything."

"I want to remember, even if it hurts me!" Eren chocked, voicing his own thought.

"You don't understand anything! It's better if you don't remember, Eren. At first I thought about telling you everything so we could be together. I noticed I'm being egoistic, I'm doing it for myself, never considered your own suffering. I was hurt when I lost you during the past life, you don't understand how painful it is to lose someone so dear to you." Rivaille pressed his palm on his forehead, feeling the air turn much hotter than before. Before he realized, he was sweating in fear of losing someone again.

"Please, don't raise your hands to reach me again. You deserve to be happy, Eren."

"Don't say things I don't understand! What happened that made you like this? What have I done to you? What did you do?! I need explanations!" Eren was now approaching his teacher, both of his hands were now pulling on Rivaille's shirt despite the fact Rivaille had told him to stay away.

"You haven't done anything! In fact, it's me who has done something!"

"But…" Rivaille shrugged the hands away when Eren insisted on pulling his shirt to make him stay. As he turned around to face him, Eren slowly let go, noticing the expression the man wore. He took a few steps back when Rivaille's face darkened.

"Fine, I will tell you… I will tell you what we are now, you insist." Eren gulped by the tone of his voice, his heartbeat getting louder on his chest while he waited for Rivaille to speak up.

"I'm your lover in the past life, but I had to kill you. I killed you with my own two hands." Eren's eyes met with the pierce look Rivaille threw to him. He slumped himself against the window with dry mouth slightly opened. Eren's face turned dreadful when the raven never left him until Rivaille blinked and took a deep breath. He heard the man exhaling shakily, taking in the fact that Eren went immobile to what he had said. He didn't want to think that he just spilled the truth about them being lovers. He hadn't intended to say it right away and hastily looked aside after feeling the need to punch the nearest wall. He couldn't believe he was that careless. Was he that desperate to make Eren became his again?

"Now that you knew about it, you can let go. Its my sin I have to atone and you better live a happy life in this world." The lecturer gave him one last sad look before he walked away, leaving the boy slumped against the wall with the truth. Eren might not know much regarding his identity, but it's better left unsaid before he made him go crazy with consuming too much nightmares.

He was about to open the door to the classroom when Eren finally spoke up.

"I dreamed about you." Rivaille stopped his fingers before the door knob, listening wordlessly. He heard footsteps coming closer to him but Rivaille didn't turn to face him.

"I felt so lifeless in that dream, but someone was crying before my eyes while cradling me in his arms. I don't know who it was. He leaned closer to me, kissing me on my forehead, cheek, and lips." Rivaille's eyes widened, he abruptly turned around to face Eren. He wore a pained expression on his face by the time the boy stood directly before him. His green eyes were gleaming with tears in full sadness.

"I remember calling the man 'Corporal'. When I called you that, you acknowledged it. Rivaille Heichou was what's written in my dad's medical record he showed me on last night. He knew it was time for me to at least read some details of my memory lost from his medical record he had on me and my past life. I… I felt the need to let you know that I've prepared myself for the worst that happened in the past life. The truth is not what I had expected. When I remembered the way you showered me with kisses in the dream, you were so tender. I don't know why you wanted me to think of you in a bad way, Rivaille." Rivaille felt his heart clench tightly when he heard the last sentence. Eren brushed away the tears on his cheek when he noticed his tear running down freely as he explained the dream. Rivaille wanted so much to brush the tears away, holding himself back was painful.

"Eren…" Eren's green eyes lightened up when he called him softly.

"Are you stupid? You should think of me in a bad way, because I'm a bad person. I don't deserve you at all and ended your life in misery…"

"Rivaille!" Eren started but Rivaille stopped him by raising his hand.

"We are different now." With that Rivaille opened the door leaving Eren alone in the classroom. Eren's cupped his mouth when the man vanished into the corner, he felt hurt by the rejection. Wasn't it Rivaille who was reaching up to him at first? Why couldn't he just be honest with himself? If he was going to be this difficult, he shouldn't have started telling the stories at all about the giants, freedom wings, and 3D maneuver gear. Eren refused to let another tear come out when he remembered the time they went out together.

 _'Armin, I think I know how I'm feeling towards Rivaille now.'_ He clutched his eyes shut.

**_TBC_ **

**_  
_** _**_The strip[here](http://asakuranohana.deviantart.com/art/That-photo-405185089?q=gallery%3AAsakuranoHana&qo=0)_ ** _


	11. Four Promises

[©AsakuraHannah Ffn](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/11/)

**A/N:** Oh God… Please bear with the cheesy drama in the chp x"D because there's some fluff

 _**Chapter 11 :** _ **Four Promises**

Eren's eyes looked around the dark classroom. He didn't realize the sun had set while his mind was busy with so many things. He wondered what time it was as his eyes gazed outside the building from the glass pane window. The only light coming into the room was from the moonlight, Eren wondered if Jean had gone home with his limousine.

Rivaille had probably gone home a while ago. His eyes scanned the empty classroom not knowing if he really wanted to go home with mixed feelings. The brunet exhaled softly and plopped down on the front desk, staring into the blackboard with an empty gaze. He remembered the time he got detention with Rivaille in front of him, watching the boy's every movement while he answered each question on the paper sheet. He remembered the sandwiches wrapped the lecturer threw to him, told him to fill his empty stomach. Eren was sure that time the man had known about him from his childhood, he remembered the man mentioned his old name even if he despised it. It was a hint for Eren to remember about the lost memory. Eren brought his palm across his face, rubbing it softly as he tried to compose himself.

' _Why am I feeling like this? I felt like everything was breaking apart. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore…'_ Eren hauled himself up from the seat, taking his bag in hand and walked towards the entrance of the classroom. He was surprised when the door suddenly swung open and his science teacher walked inside looking confusedly in his direction.

"Eren? Why are you still here?" Hanji asked, puzzled when she spotted him through the glass window of the hallway. Eren stiffened at the question.

"Nothing. I was about to go home actually." He muttered, feeling slightly bothered by the way she stared down on him.

"Okay, let's go outside together." She said and dragged the boy without waiting for an approval. Eren groaned inwardly, he wasn't having the need to chat with someone right now.

"Did Rivaille say anything to you? I heard you're getting detention today right after school." She started, looking back to the boy who was half running while trying to balance himself with her pace. She gave a smug grin when his face turned scarlet on its own will.

"Nothing much." He squeaked before biting his lips at how his voice was.

"I was actually wondering if you are having some kind of relation with Rivaille. The man was just too stubborn to open up with anyone, so it's no wonder if he acted so harshly towards you." Eren almost crashed into her when she abruptly stopped. He jolted in surprise when Hanji clasped both hands around Eren's, gripping them tightly.

"Eren, I believe the reason Rivaille tore apart was you, so I think you should fix this." Eren's eyes widened.

"Wait, how was it my fault?" He tried to retract his hands away but she gripped it even tighter. Hanji frowned when the boy felt accused.

"I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, it's a good thing actually. He never showed any kind of emotion before. And now that he started to care about something, he didn't know what to do. He… He lost someone dear to him before." The change of tone made Eren shut his mouth from letting another sound coming.

"The girl Petra had an illness, she's my distant relative. She's the one who used to think about Rivaille and cared for him when he's down. She listened to every story Rivaille told her including his weird dreams. His family disowned him because they were disappointed in him, he had no one to turn to other than Irvin and me. After Petra's death he was torn apart, he suddenly announced that he wanted to go to the military to atone his sin. He said something about regretting the fact that people died without him being able to do anything." Hanji paused, letting the boy taking in the information. Eren stayed silent, when he didn't move or even say anything to tell her to stop, she continued.

"I'm the one who suggest for him to go to university, but he insisted on going to the military right after he finished his high school. He went there for about two years, but that didn't make him any better. I don't know why he made himself suffer so badly in there, but seeing how he was wounded every time pained Irvin's and me. In the end he took my suggestion to go and pick some course from the university. He drowned himself in lots of books and took literature courses so he could write about what he had dreamt about. Hoping that he would forget all about the pain after he wrote what's inside his head into words." Hanji slowly let go of Eren's hand while giving him a sad smile.

"He wrote about you in that draft. It's supposed to be the first book he was writing for his final year." Eren's eyes widened at the information.

"Eren, I knew about the past that's haunting him, I've heard lots of stories about it. The fact that he had to meet you again that time in Germany must be fate. You two met again in Japan under different circumstance this time. You can understand about things a lot better now, I believe you can reach your hands and heal his wounds." Eren gave her a sad smile.

"Even if he just rejected me?" He regretted spilling that when Hanji's eyes suddenly lightened up.

"What? Did you confess? No wonder you seemed so down." Eren's face flushed.

"Err… not really… But-" He was cut off by Hanji's chuckled.

"Don't worry, he's just shy." Eren quickly looked away when he heard her. _No way, he looked like he was about to kill me. Wait, he had killed me before…_

"Anyway, I wish you know what you are supposed to do." Hanji patted him on the arm, earning a tired grunt coming from the boy.

"Come on, let's go home. I'll take you home." She dragged him again. Eren's mind drifted to the draft book Hanji was talking about.

' _He wrote a book for his final… All about the information of the past life. And about me…'_ Eren bit his lower lip. He wanted to read it, he wanted him to continue.

"I won't stop reaching out to him…" Hanji looked at him surprised before she gave a soft smile.

"Thank you."

* * *

Armin whipped his head when he heard what Eren just said. His face went pale while Eren just chewed on his fries nonchalantly as if the news was no big deal.

"Just don't inform Mikasa about him killing me in the past. Seriously, I don't know what she'll do." Eren mumbled after swallowing the fries. Armin slowly looked around the cafeteria, wondering if she was nearby. Much to his relief, she was nowhere near and they both could continue talking about the problem.

"So, if he had to kill you in the past, did you ask the reason why?" Eren gave a frustrated sigh and rubbed his forehead

"I didn't have the chance since he'd left me stunned by the fact. After that he said that he didn't deserve me because he was a bad person. He… I think he wanted me to think he's a bad person so that I won't be near him again or something. I don't know…"

"Eren, I think he was trying to make you safe. I mean, even if it's true that he had to kill you in the past, I'm sure there's some reason behind it. You should stay positive. Have you got some information from the medical book?" Eren snapped his head at the last question.

"How can I forget?" Armin rolled his eyes, typical Eren.

"Maybe you can get some information about you in the past life from that book. That can lead to some info about Rivaille there." Eren quickly dug his bag, searching for the book his father gave him. He quickly flipped page after page, reading together with Armin once he pulled it out. The blond scanned the record before his eyes to find something about giants called Titan.

"Titan." That word made both of them stay silent. They heard Grisha tell them about it yesterday, but they only got the name of the giants.

"What does a Titan look like?"

"Don't ask me, I don't remember my past life." Armin huffed as he scratched his head. Eren crossed his arms while thinking the words Rivaille said to him during the 'date'.

"Giants that devour humans…" Armin raised his head from the book to gaze at his friend alerted when Eren mumbled in the middle of his thoughts.

"Rivaille told me about it when we went out together, you know, before I fainted. We're soldiers, bearing the logo of Freedom Wings that's attached on our back. We fought for humanity using 3D maneuver gear that could make us fly into the sky." Armin's eyes gleamed with marvel, unsure if he should be amused or feel weird. That kind of machine might not be useful in this modern day, but he wondered if he could see the look of it.

"What type of machine was that?" His tone full of wonder. Eren shook his head.

"Rivaille said he'd to sketch the gear for me to see, but I didn't get the chance to see it until now." Eren sighed. Armin closed his mouth shut.

"Keep looking." They turned their attention back to the book until the bell rang and both groaned at the interruption.

"Let's continue about this later. Or you should just ask him." Eren threw his best friend a look.

"You do know that he's avoiding me, right?" Armin rolled his eyes and flicked his forehead making Eren flinches at the painful contact.

"Try again to talk to him. Are you that scared of rejection?"

"Yes, when it comes from him." Eren mumbled, flushing when he just admitted himself. The blonde gave a teasing smile which Eren tried hard to ignore.

"Finally you know your own feelings." Eren hissed at him embarrassed before standing up and walk past him. Armin chuckled, following him back towards their classroom.

* * *

The time they had English class, Irvin was the one teaching. He explained that Rivaille had some reports to do for his internship and the class had once again been taught by Irvin. The students continued their lesson like nothing had mattered, but that's not the case with Eren. Deep inside his heart, he was dreading about the reality of Rivaille avoiding him deliberately. He didn't know what he was supposed to do to approach him again. Even that detention tactic was not going well. Eren sighed when Irvin called out for him to read in his text book while standing up. Armin murmured the page and he read it out loud in English. Irvin watched the boy closely, he knew even if Eren reading without mistakes, the student's mind was nowhere near them. Once the boy finished reading two paragraphs, he let him sit and move on to the next paragraph for another student to read. As Connie read the next paragraph, Irvin's mind drifted back to the conversation he was having last night.

" _You don't know what you are doing." Rivaille ignored the guy's words whilst typing the report on his notebook. Irvin tried to talk to him right after he went home from the school pretty late the night before. He was informed that Eren got detention right after class finished._

" _Rivaille, you can't avoid him forever." Irvin sighed when Rivaille stopped typing only to glare at him._

" _I fucking killed him in the past, Irvin. That's my sin and he doesn't need to know the details." Irvin stayed silent at the words._

" _Rivaille…" He tried again but Rivaille pursed his lips annoyed._

" _He doesn't need to know the whole details." he repeated, pressing the end of the conversation. Rivaille's eyes flew back to the screen, and hurriedly typed the last line of the paragraph he was writing._

" _I just want you to think about his feeling for once, you're the one who started it. You shouldn't have gone together with him that day if you're planning to ignore him now." Rivaille's eyes met his. Irvin was hoping that he had pushed something deep within that barrier of his. Much to his disappointment, Rivaille shrugged it off._

" _This report needs to be done. You are the one telling me to finish my last semester." He scoffed and clicked the print button. He stood up from his seat and left the room to make another cup of coffee, leaving Irvin alone. The taller guy gave a tired sigh and shook his head._

"Sir?" a voice interrupted his thoughts, he realized that Connie had finished reading.

"Oh, sorry. You can sit down." Irvin gave an apologetic look. Rivaille needed to do something with this mess.

* * *

' _Where am I?' Eren tried to blink inside the darkness which engulfed him. The area surrounding him was very hot, like it was on fire. Eren's eyes found his vision slowly clear and found himself being so high up in the air full of steam smoke. Eren slowly shifted in his place when he noticed he was stuck in some kind of flesh, he felt himself being pulled down by someone he couldn't see so well. His green eyes looked in front of him, the blood dripping down from the man's body while he carried him in his arms. The man quickly brought his legs to run right after he landed on the ground with him safely secured in his arms. Eren tried to call out, telling him about his wound, telling him that there's no need to worry about his well being. But the man won't listen and continued to run as if their lives depended on it. Eren's eyes widened when he saw a few blades being thrown towards their direction. He could barely move to save himself along with the man who carried him, he noticed they were being pursued. Eren shut his eyes, readying himself for what was coming when the man starting to fall to the ground._

"Eren!" Eren snapped his eyes open, giving out a surprised shaky breath while he was being awakened by another slap across his face.

"Mikasa…?" He muttered when he saw his sister's looming over him. Blinking a few times at her in confusion, Mikasa slowly drew back, a frown still formed on her brows.

"You were moaning and screaming in your nightmare. Are you alright, now?" When the brunet sat up, he realized he was drenched in sweat.

"I… I'm alright, I guess… I felt tired like I've run a lot." Eren said, feeling relieved that he was awake.

"Is that your past life?" Mikasa took a seat on the edge of the bed, putting her palm on top of Eren's quivering hand. She looked at him sadly when the boy nodded.

"That's what I'm worrying about, Eren. Was it that terrifying?" Eren sighed and leaned against the window sill.

"It's okay. I'm alright, just surprised by the sudden blow. Though, next time, don't wake me up by slapping me anymore. It felt like I'm really being in pain if you did that." Eren warned her. Mikasa nodded, taking in the warning.

"I won't." she murmured, before patting his hand gently. She stood up from the bed when Eren had calmed down and left him to get another sleep. Even if Eren didn't know if he dared to sleep again, that nightmare was not as scary as the night before. His eyes glided to the clock on his nightstand. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. Shifting his green eyes to his mobile phone, Eren grasped it and turned it on. He scrolled on the list of the names on his contact list until he reached Rivaille's number. He started typing the message to him, pausing for a moment while searching the right words.

_I know it's been a few days and… you're avoiding me, but… I had to tell you something. I got a nightmare just now. Being pursued with blades thrown towards my direction. Does that have a connection to the past life? Last time I was chained to the pole and kneeled on the ground with a bloody man before my eyes.I just don't know who to ask other than you…_

Eren stared at the words he just typed, his finger hovering over the send button hesitantly. He didn't know if he should send the message to Rivaille now that seeing him was getting harder than before. He decided to just punch the send button on the touch screen with his thumb. He rolled on his side and clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to know if Rivaille would feel bothered by him sending message to his mobile phone in this late at night. The man was probably asleep, sleeping soundly. He was surprised when his phone vibrated with a short jingle, noticing him that he got a message to read.

_Meet me tomorrow after class._

His eyes looked at his mobile screen in disbelief when he read the text message, the reply was very unexpected. The man didn't tell him where, he knew Rivaille got a day off nowadays in a random day just so he could work on his intership paperwork. Was it Rivaille who just replied him? Maybe if he told him about his dream, Rivaille would understand. Eren's lips curved into a smile. Having a nightmare wasn't so bad after all.

_Okay. Tell me where we'll meet._

* * *

Rivaille was in the middle of his paperwork when frustration started to get into him. He threw his pen down and ran his hands into his hair, sighing heavily.

" _I just want you to think about his feeling for once, you're the one who started it. You shouldn't have gone together with him that day if you're planning to ignore him now."_

Irvin's words had stung a bit. He didn't realize that not only Eren who was reaching his hands to him again, but he was also chasing after the boy. Rivaille closed his eyes, wondering what he should do now that he had rejected the boy pretty badly. He jolted in surprised when a loud ping sound came from his mobile phone. Wondering who was texting him in two o'clock in the morning, he gave a scowl. His eyes widened when he read the text messages, disbelieving look on his face as he almost dropped his phone. He didn't know how to react for a moment. Rivaille re-read the message as if afraid that his eyes playing tricks on him, afraid that he'd become too tired to even dream while sitting up. But no, it's real. The text message was real, Eren's dream was real.

Rivaille bit his lower lip and sent the message back. He needed to confirm on their next meeting. He needed to know the dream Eren was having. Deep inside, his chest clenched painfully, Eren's nightmare came back. It was all his fault. His head hung low as his bangs covering his eyes after he sent the text message back to Eren.

* * *

Eren's hands were shaking when he stood before a classroom nervously. Rivaille had told him to meet in an empty classroom near the janitor room right after the school finished. He had told Armin and Mikasa to just go ahead and leave him at school while he'd dealt with his own problem. Their concerns were kind of annoying sometimes, but Eren could see the hint of Armin's teasing gaze on him when they parted after the last lesson.

Eren slid the door open to see Rivaille sitting on the teacher's desk, reading a book. Had he been waiting? Eren softly closed the door, staring at him when the man raised his head to see who was coming. Rivaille closed his book and stood up, their eyes never leaving each other until he was directly standing before Eren.

"Rivaille…" He started but Rivaille cut him off.

"Your dream… was it real or was it written somewhere in the book your dad gave you?"

"It's real, why would I lie to you…" he scowled while looking away. There's a moment of pause before Rivaille continued.

"It's me… The bloody man who stood before you when you were chained was me." Eren gave him a perplexed look.

"Were you the one who brought me in your arms while running away from the pursuer who… threw blades to us? I… I was coming out from in the middle of a heavy steam, I can't exactly recall it but… " Rivaille stiffened at the further explanation of his dream and gave another nod.

"I don't understand. Was someone trying to kill you?"

"It's actually you they were chasing. I was trying to save you, Eren. You couldn't run during that time because you're wounded pretty badly."

"Tell me, does it have something to do with the giants that devour humans?" Rivaille sucked his breath, his fists trembled.

"Yes… yes…" Eren stayed silent and swallowed nervously.

"Then why did you say that you… you killed me?" Rivaille slumped against the desk, hissing when the memory flooded into his mind. Watching the man in worry, Eren hurried after him but Rivaille raised his hand in the air, stopping the boy to approach him.

"I'm sorry, I asked too much…" Eren startled when he was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. His eyes widened when the man shuddered while trying to hold in his tears.

"I'm sorry you had to remember that. I'm sorry." Rivaille's voice was desperate. Eren looked at him from the corner of his eyes, not knowing what to say. He slowly tangled his hands on the man's shirt, trying to comfort him a bit.

"This is the reason I don't want you to come near me. You have started dreaming about the past now, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Eren. You could have avoided me, you could have taken your peaceful life ahead of you and leave me behind. You should have done that, but why don't you?! I gave you the chance, you stupid brat!" Rivaille was now caressing Eren's back as he continued holding him in his arms. The boy's hands were now clutching at Rivaille's shirt tightly, biting his lips when the need to cry was overflowing.

"I won't go away just because of that, you sounded so painful by the time you said your last sentences that night in the other classroom, as if you wanted me to think of you bad enough and stay away. But then I realized one thing. I should have known by the time I met you again, by the time we went out together… by the time I remembered my childhood, I have seen you in a different way." Rivaille abruptly pushed him off from his arms, eyeing the boy in disbelieve.

"The time you said we were lovers, I had this warm feeling inside of me. I had a mix feeling, afraid that I'm wrong, afraid that my feeling was a mistake because you twisted it in a different direction. You said you killed me, but even if it was meant to hurt me, I was still torn apart when you left me in the dark." Rivaille looked like he was about to cry.

"I'm sorry… I just don't want to tie you with me again, if you can find a better person than I am in this new world, I don't mind. We might have been lovers in the past, but this life could lead to a different way. I don't want to close your path and drown you along with me, Eren." Eren shook his head, he hugged the man fully, feeling desperate to make him understand.

"Please don't say that. We may be different now, but I don't want you to take the wrong assumption on me loving you because of the past. Not because you said we were lovers. My feelings are genuine! It has nothing to do with the past." Eren felt happy when Rivaille returned the hug.

"Tell me what happened this time." Eren said with a crack whispered, smiling when the man nestled his hand on his brunet locks. When he felt Rivaille shift a bit, Eren made some distance to break the hug. He was surprised when he felt a pair of lips pressing gently on the crook of his neck instead. Eren felt the air lifted into several degrees hotter than before.

"Rivaille…" he slowly pushed the man away, feeling embarrassed. Even if he didn't mark him, he wasn't expecting that kind of demeanour. Eren flushed even more when Rivaille rested his head against his shoulder.

"I will explain to you everything now." Eren didn't know what to do while the man continued hugging him, refusing to let him go. He didn't trust himself to speak and only gave a nod mutely. He clutched his eyes shut and return the hug to Rivaille who was startled at the sudden act. Rivaille gave a soft chuckle and pulled him closer if possible.

' _Still a brat as always'_ Rivaille kissed his earshell which turned red by the affection. It felt right, having the boy in his arms again, having to caress his back like he usually did, having felt the warmth against his body while hugging each other closely. Rivaille's eyes glimmered with sadness.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you." He whispered, still not letting him go like he was afraid that Eren would vanish. Eren shook his head, smiling when he felt comfortable by the caresses.

"Nothing to worry about, I'm fine." Rivaille pulled back to stare into his eyes. Those emerald orbs were always shining brightly, his gaze stared deep into his eyes. Beautiful as always. He brought his lips to kiss on the brunet's eyelid, earning a soft chuckle from Eren.

"Rivaille, will you do the usual thing? You only did that in my dream, I want to feel it now. Those kisses…" Rivaille's lips curved into a smile at the favour the boy asked while blushing.

"The usual? Do you remember what it was called?" He whispered, there's no need to talk loudly when they were this close. Eren tilted his head in question while Rivaille brushed his fingers against his cheek lovingly.

"Uh, ritual?" he tried but Rivaille shook his head.

"We called it **four promises**." Eren gave a smile, he wished he remembered. His sadness was probably displayed transparently on his face since Rivaille shook his head and pressed their forehead together.

"Don't feel sad, it's actually pretty cheesy now that I think about it." Eren snorted at him.

"Explain to me." He whispered, leaning down when Rivaille circled his hand on the back of his neck. Pressing a soft kiss on Eren's forehead, he brought Eren's hand into his, intertwining their fingers together.

"I'll give you my heart…" and moved down to his nose.

"… my soul" and to his right cheek.

"…my everything" Rivaille's eyes were now gleaming with happiness when Eren's face turned into a deep scarlet by the kisses. He knew what was coming next.

"… and so we'll never be apart." He moved closer to press his lips against him, kissing him lovingly. Eren closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, feeling happy that they were finally able to be together. As soon as their lips met, he felt a pang of déjà vu melting into his heart. He knew the feelings, he had kissed the man before.

His long lost lover.

Eren let a single tear fall to his cheek.

Maybe because of the last promise that they met each other again. Maybe it was their fate to be together again. Either way, he was glad that they won't be apart again.

Together they continued kissing each other with the sunset displayed behind them, showering them with warm comforting light.

 

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_**TBC** _

OMG FINALLY! I hope you like the end of this chp, tell me what you think 

Next chp will… omg X"D these plot bunnies are killing me, they won't stop running around in my head. Even I'm confused on where to start for the next chp because I'll start with the past event… ._. Pls give me strengths…

–flails-


	12. A date and Kisses

[©AsakuraHannah @Ffn](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/12/Overwhelming-Emotions)

Eren looked outside the window as he opened it wide enough to let the night cold breeze inside, the weather was starting to get warmer nowadays as the season slowly changed. He breathed in the cold night air while putting his hand on the rim of the window. He sensed Rivaille hug him from behind, not letting him turn around. It felt odd about their height difference with the man hugging him like that, but when Rivaille rested his chin on his left shoulder, Eren relaxed and leaned back to him.

"You should go home, you know. It's almost dinner time" Rivaille said, getting a smile from the brunet as he shook his head.

"It's alright. Mikasa was less noisy when it came to me getting home late. She usually cooked something easy for me to warm it up in the microwave later when I'm home." Rivaille breathed out a laugh before kissing Eren on his neck again. Eren fidgeted when he felt the contact, blushing when he noticed Rivaille was actually pressing his mouth quite hard. He smirked against his neck when he noticed Eren's eyes gazing at him.

"Don't get me in trouble by leaving an obvious mark there." Eren murmured, putting his palms against Rivaille's hands that circled around his stomach. Eren jumped when Rivaille licked him instead.

"Rivaille…" He hummed, trying to get away from the teasing gesture.

"Tell me, why are you so tall in both lives?" that question made Eren choke a laughter.

"How would I know? I think you should drink milk a lot?" He yelped when Rivaille pinched the back of his hand angrily. "I'm joking!" he hissed while rubbing his hand that was aching.

"Shut up." The man huffed when Eren pouted. Both of them went into a comfortable silence until Eren's curiosity broke it.

"Rivaille… tell me about Titan." He turned around when Rivaille let him go. Rivaille walked towards the teacher's desk. The man pulled the drawer open and picked some paper and pen out. Eren curiously watched him as the raven drew a sketch of the thing he asked pretty messily. His eyes made out a human mixed monster's face on the half done sketch.

"It was a giant, they have various different heights, the tallest could reach more than 50 meters. Some of them were deviant type with unusual behavior." Eren gaped when he heard about their height. The human size that Rivaille drew were lined up with the tallest giant, made the human seem overly small.

"That time, they ate us just for their own fun. The humankind built a very tall wall around their city, divided by three kinds of walls, the outer wall named Maria, then Rose, and the inner wall where the King and higher ranked nobles lived, Wall Sina. By the time we built these walls, humanity had become nearly extinct." Rivaille paused after he finished the three circles on the paper, letting the information sink into Eren's mind.

"So… basically they were just… outside the outer wall?" There's a pause before Rivaille continued.

"100 years after that, the outer wall, Maria, was broken by a Colossal Titan which height was about 50 meters." Eren went pale and Rivaille put the pen down. He cupped both Eren's cheeks in his palms, staring at him tenderly.

"Apparently, your house was destroyed by the debris and your mother got devoured that time while your father went to work. He was considered missing after the ruckus. That's when you started going to the military, being a trainee for five years until you joined the Scouting Legion. You promised yourself to kill all the Titans and so you could go outside the world and to the sea with your friend, Armin whom you did promise with. But you have to know one thing, Eren. You are also a Titan." Rivaille's expression didn't change when Eren flinched from him in fear.

"I… what?"

"You could turn into a Titan because of your father's injection before he went missing, it seemed he was a doctor who knew various medical substances. Dangerous one that is…"

"Did I also eat humans?" There was a disgusted tone when he asked. Eren felt a wash of relief when Rivaille shook his head.

"You are not _exactly_ one of them since all you needed to do was control your power while you shifted. That's not the case with other people, Eren. People feared you. Even if you entered the Scouting Legion and gave yourself to help humankind, people feared your ability to shift into a Titan form. They're still afraid if someday you'd lost yourself and going berserk and devoured them, since you lived inside the wall. So, I took custody of you, being by your side with you as my underling. I'm a Lance Corporal Rivaille that time. That's where we met, in the dungeon right after you were captured." His lips curved into a thin smile when Eren's eyes softened.

"Corporal…" Hearing that, Rivaille pulled him down and gave him a tender kiss on the lips, earning a soft grunt from the boy when he was being pulled rather harshly. Eren let out a small whimper sound when he felt the shorter of the two lick his lips, seeking entrance. He complied, opening his mouth just a little to let Rivaille in. The time their tongues met each other, Eren gave a shuddered breath at the sensation. He put his palm on top of Rivaille's hands that stayed on his cheeks. Together their tongues danced after Eren shied away a few times Rivaille went deeper inside. Feeling the need to breath, Rivaille pulled away, leaving trails of saliva between their parted lips.

"Let's continue tomorrow, I'll give you all the information you need to know. I won't run away, but I might hesitate because it was painful." Rivaille whispered with a husky tone. Seeing Eren's red face and foggy expression made Rivaille nuzzle his hair affectionately.

"Stop looking like that just because of a simple kiss. I won't be able to hold back anymore." He pecked his cheek before turning away from him, leaving Eren blushing brightly.

"Let's go home, I'll ride you to your house." The invitation was taken pretty quickly.

* * *

Eren got out of the car when Rivaille pulled right on the front of his house. He looked down to Rivaille once Rivaille opened the window.

"Tomorrow is the weekend, so I'll let you know where we'll meet up." Eren's face lightened up when he heard him. This time it's going to be a real date. Rivaille noticed this and mentioned Eren to bend down so he could kiss him before he turned home.

Eren gave a small wave with a smile, cheeks heating up with the lingered feelings of Rivaille's lips against his. He turned around to walk inside only to give a terrifying shout when he spotted his sister with a killer look on her face.

"I thought it was Dad's car but it sounded different, so I came out to check. I saw that. You two…" she paused before she continued, not wanting to make Eren feel offended in any way. She didn't mind him dating another guy, but why him?! Of all people… Eren bit his lip while shying away from her.

"Just pretend that you didn't see it, then." He muttered, quickly getting inside the house. Mikasa sighed loudly and followed him inside.

"Just don't kiss before me anymore." She grunted, ignoring Eren's choked sound of surprised. The image of her brother being _ravished_ was kind of disturbing.

"How would I know you'd be there, right behind me?" A moment of pause from the two made Eren wince uncomfortably.

"So, I guess things have settled down, now?" Mikasa asked.

"Somehow, I think? It went pretty well…" Eren muttered, his eyes were still trying to avoid Mikasa's searching look.

"As long as you are happy…" Mikasa gave him a light pat on his shoulder, not saying another word until she was in front of her room.

"By the way, your food is in the microwave." She told him before disappearing into her room.

* * *

_Eren stared up at the man on top of him. His superior gazing down as he admired the boy before his eyes. Eren blushed when he saw the man smirk while leaning down to him, kissing his shoulder and leaving marks while he writhed beneath him. The brunet gasped when he felt the man's fingers trail down his exposed body, letting out a soft grunt of embarrassment when it touched several sensitive places. When he was about to let out a guttural sound, his lips were claimed qui_ _te_ _roughly, leaving him breathless as the tongue invaded deep inside his mouth. The green eyed boy's hand unconsciously squeezed on the man's arm which was resting on his side, securing him closely. Eren let out a mewled sound against the kiss when he felt the roaming fingers playfully poke his hard-on. He pulled away from the mouth to give a soft moan, adjusting himself up to get some frictions. He heard himself begging the man's title, wanting to feel more pleasure from those teasing touches._

" _Corporal…" His vision went blurred when the man steadily took his cock in his hand, pumping him slowly._

" _AH…" he rasped out when he finally got what he wanted._

" _Nngh more.. please…"_

" _Eren… take it slow… this might be the last…" The corporal whispered gently, kissing the underside of his ear when Eren's head moved to the side. He was unable to control the saliva dripping out his mouth when Rivaille licked his sensitive skin._

" _No… please… don't remind me…" He gave a sob when the hand stopped working. He stared right into those raven orbs which were gleaming with sadness, bringing his hands around his neck._

" _Eren…" The boy closed his eyes when his superior claimed his lips once again, enjoying himself once their lips were back connecting with each other._

Eren opened his eyes abruptly, blinking in confusion. He gave a gasp when he felt the wetness in the middle of his legs. He quickly lifted his blanket, staring at the undeniably tent in his pajama pants. He groaned when his lower body gave a thrumming pleasure, ordering him to relieve himself. Eren cupped his face with his hands, trying to breathe steadily. He couldn't believe he was dreaming of the man he just got together yesterday. Eren threw the blanket up above his head and laid on his side, biting his lower lip to prevent any sound coming. His trembling hand went inside his underwear, taking a firm hold of his hard member, stroking himself vigorously. He was so close, he could feel it. His other hand pulled down on the waistband of his pants and underwear in place while stroking himself faster. He let out a soft panting sound while muttering his tutor's name at the time he felt himself coming closer to his peak. He licked his lips, opening and closing his mouth as if he was kissing the man open-mouthed. His toes curled as he jolted on the pleasurable sensation, moaning in ecstasy when he came rather quickly.

Blinking after he came down from high, Eren gave a grunt of shame. He hoped that Mikasa wouldn't be able to hear how loud he moaned. Pulling away his wet hand off his softened length, Eren winced. He sat up after he pulled his pants and underwear back up and wobbly went off the bed to his bathroom. He slammed the door shut, not wanting to think about the dream anymore or it would be worse. He needed to get out of his house today.

* * *

Eren was opening the fridge when Mikasa came to him slightly dressed in neat clothing. He looked at her in wonder.

"Are you going somewhere?" She suddenly asked when she saw him looking tidier than his usual holiday clothes. Blinking at the question, Eren gave a nod at her. His eyes were telling her that she was also in the same place.

"Well, I'm going out with Rivaille today… Is there something wrong?" Mikasa shook her head.

"Nothing, I was actually wondering if you'd like to have breakfast before you go. I just threw the empty cereal box into the trash can earlier." Eren shrugged and closed the refrigerator's door shut.

"I can burn some toasts for a quick meal, don't worry about it. Are you having a part-time job?" Mikasa shook her head.

"No, actually I'm about to do grocery for our food stock. Dad will go with me to the market. It's such a good opportunity to spend the weekend together with him while he's here." Eren looked at her surprised, a guilty expression formed on his face.

"Well… I've got a date…" he mumbled the last word carefully. Mikasa rolled her eyes, she was about to speak up when their father walked in.

"It's okay, just go. I'll be around much more this month, the hospital in this town needed my help with a certain patient…" Grisha ruffled Eren's hair who grunted in response.

"Well, we'll be going now. Take care." Grisha waved at his son who wore a smile, feeling encouraged. Following both of them outside, Eren grinned when Mikasa threw him a look. He knew it was a rare opportunity to be able to spend a day with his family once in a while. But it was too sudden and he had made promises with his boyfriend.

"Be careful." Eren shouted when the two of them got in the car. He quickly ran back into the kitchen to prepare breakfast on his own. After checking up the clock, he relaxed when he noticed he still had some time before Rivaille came.

By the time Rivaille was on the front of his house, pressing his door bell, Eren hurriedly ran to open the door, greeting the older of the two with a warm smile. As soon as their eyes met, his tutor pulled him down to give him a tender kiss on the lips. Eren gave a shy smile when Rivaille pulled away to look him in the eyes. The raven circled his arms around the boy when those emerald eyes shone brightly. Eren's cheeks turned scarlet when his tutor told him to lean down so he could do their ritual. The student closed his eyes when Rivaille kissed his forehead, nose, cheek, and lips tenderly.

"Shall we go now?" he whispered softly, blowing his warm breath against Eren's wet lips as he spoke.

"Wait…" Eren licked his lip nervously before turning back inside to look at his mom's photo.

"I'm going." He muttered at her photo which smiled back at him without words. Rivaille was standing before him when he realized what Eren did. He slowly traced the photo frame with his fingers. Watching the man silently, Eren recalled that Rivaille had met his mother during their childhood.

"Rivaille…" he whispered his name when Rivaille took his hand with him.

"I will take good care of him." He whispered to the photo, making Eren flush in embarrassment. It was like a promise of a lifetime. Meeting their eyes for a moment, he gave a thin smile at the boy before him.

"Let's go. Stupid Irvin won't let me borrow the car because he needed to use it." Eren laughed when he heard him.

They walked out the gate hand in hand, sharing each others' warmth.

"Eren, you idiot. You didn't wear gloves again."

"Don't worry, the weather is not that cold anymore. Besides, I've got your hand to warm me up." The boy gave a grin when Rivaille raised an eyebrow.

"That's cheesy." Rivaille squeezed his hand hard enough for Eren to yelp in pain.

* * *

Rivaille led him to the bookstore on their way to the park. Eren followed him closely when the raven walked towards the novel section. He watched curiously when the man picked up one book.

"You like to read a lot don't you?" Eren smiled when Rivaille's eyes scanned pages after pages.

"Yeah, I like to drown in stories. A habit to put my mind off from nightmares." Eren looked at him in the eyes.

"You wrote a book for your final, didn't you? Hanji told me about it." Rivaille closed the novel and gave a soft sigh.

"Yes, I tried to pour everything I remembered in words. She's the one who suggested to me to take literature since I have an amazing nightmare to turn it into a novel. I'm not sure I'm making a good progress with the draft I'm working on though." Pressing the nightmare word sarcastically, Rivaille put the book back into the shelf neatly.

"I would like to read it when it's finished. Who knows, I might remember my past life once I read it." Eren gave a smile to the surprised expression on Rivaille's face.

"I will try my best to make it good. Maybe the rating will go up too, considering we were lovers that time." Rivaille gave a teasing smirk when Eren's cheeks once again painted with pinkish hues. The boy had obviously forgotten that he was included in the story. The man then picked up some random big children's book from the top shelf after scanning the opposite rack and pulled Eren down by his collar, earning a surprised yelp from the brunet. His green eyes widened when Rivaille covered their heads with the large opened book, feeling the small lick coming from the older man. Eren gasped when their lips smashed sloppily, blushing at the current not-so-secretive act they were doing in the middle of the bookstore. Fearing that someone might see, Eren grunted while trying to break free. The hand tightened on his collar while Rivaille shoved his tongue deep inside his mouth, forcing Eren to stay still in his hold. Rivaille pulled away right when Eren was starting to lose himself into the kiss, blinking in annoyance at the lack of warmth against his lips. Watching the raven send him a smug look that made Eren wince. He quickly stepped back a little after Rivaille let go of his collar.

"Rivaille, you… crazy…" Eren accused while he licked his wet lips as he tried to act as normal as possible. Rivaille stared down at his tongue while the boy continued to give him a disbelieving look.

"Don't complain when you are clearly enjoying it." He chuckled and put the book back to its place. The man obviously would never let those pink dusts leave Eren's cheeks.

* * *

Eren hissed when Rivaille slapped his hand for the second time when he attempted to steal another fry from his lecturer's tray. The brunet moped at him until Rivaille threw him a smug look.

"What's with that look?" Eren muttered. The raven put one fry in his mouth and pointed for Eren to come closer and eat the fries from his lips. Eren's face flushed, he looked down to his own tray where his burger was still half eaten.

"I'm not going to do that here, besides, it's not a pocky!" Eren huffed and snatched up his burger. Rivaille snorted at him and chewing his fry.

"So if it was a pocky then you'd oblige?" He leaned closer once he swallowed the fry.

"I didn't say that…" He hissed, full of shyness on his tone. Setting his burger back down after taking a big bite and chew. He jumped in shock when he felt Rivaille's tongue lick across the corner of his lips. Eyes widening, he couldn't believe how daring the man could be.

"You got some sauce near your lips. Actually, we're sitting at the very corner right now, seriously, nobody will see. Even if they see us, I wouldn't care anyway. If you don't want to, then I won't tell you anything about the past life." Rivaille took another fry and stuck it in his mouth after giving him a smug look. Eren stared at him doubtfully, he sucked in his breath when Rivaille leaned closer until his face was almost an inch before him, playfully poking the tip of the fry to his lips. Eren's eyes looked right and left before he quickly leaned forward to take a small bite off the fry with eyes clenched shut. His eyes flew open when Rivaille leaned in quite fast towards him and claimed his lips into him. Eren gave a soft grunt when Rivaille playfully licked his mouth, he could taste the salty flavor from the fries. Gulping half of the fry down, Eren moaned a little when Rivaille bit his tongue softly, tugging at it with his teeth. Eren stared right into his raven eyes which a gleam and revelry before he drew back from his lips.

"You are…" He couldn't continue his words as he had no idea what he was supposed to say. The feeling of being claimed for the third time that day made Eren feel so hot inside. He wished the man stopped teasing him. His cheeks getting warmer when Rivaille gave a small peck on his lips for the last time with a satisfied look in his eyes.

"You know, you were always so straight forward in your other life."

"How was I supposed to remember that?" Rivaille's lips smirked when the boy huffed in annoyance.

"I don't mind the current Eren right before me, now, though." Eren fidgeted a little, playing with the straw on his glass half-empty soft drink.

"Finish your lunch and we'll get going." Blinking at some kind of plan Rivaille was dragging him, uncertainty flashed in his eyes.

"Where to? Aren't you supposed to explain lots of things to me right now?" Rivaille rolled his eyes.

"I won't go anywhere. I'll tell you what you need to know. By the way, you got some sauce on the corner of your left cheek." Eren took the tissue to wipe it off but Rivaille held his hand, drew it to his lips and kissing his fingers lightly.

"You liar." He said after Rivaille gave him an elated stare. He had never seen the raven seem so happy as right now. Eren returned the stare with a smile.

The next thing Eren found out was that Rivaille had dragged him into a cinema. He had picked some kind of action movie for both of them to enjoy their time. They were fighting over a popcorn in the dark with hands slapping each other when one attempted to go inside the box. By the time they went out, Eren had laughed about how silly they were for fighting over popcorn.

Rivaille gave a smile and dragged Eren outside when the boy ogling on some pastries on their way out. The boy was annoyed when Rivaille walked outside the building without any mercy. They were outside when Eren noticed the day had passed pretty quickly. It was getting darker when they started pacing towards the nearby train station. Hoping that Rivaille won't be planning on going back home, he voiced out his concern. He had yet gotten any more information from the man about their story.

"Rivaille…"

"Where do you want to go next? It's almost 5 o'clock." He cut him off, much to his dismay.

"I wanted to hear about the past life." Rivaille stopped walking, eyeing the boy who suddenly turned serious.

"I'll tell you about it later." Frowning at the unsatisfying answer, Eren frowned.

"Are you avoiding it?"

"Eren… listen… I… I don't know where I'm supposed to start about this. Just give me some time."

"Let's start from yesterday night you told me, when we met in a dungeon." He pressed, stepping forward. Rivaille sucked in his breath, he closed his eyes and rubbed his hand across his face. Eren could see the hint of nervousness from the man before him. The tutor took a deep breath before exhaling softly.

"I don't get why are you so adamant about wanting to hear how you die." Rivaille scoffed, turning around from Eren's angry eyes.

"Rivaille, I thought we are supposed to be more open about this." By the time Rivaille turned around, Eren knew he was avoiding the topic. It's not like he didn't enjoy being with him for the day, but he wanted to hear it, wanted to know the whole truth about the situation. He needed to know about the burden Rivaille had been carrying on his shoulders, he wished that the man would let them out, sharing his pain with him.

"Did you not trust me at all?" Eren's hurt tone was enough to make him turn around. Their eyes clashing against each other until Eren gave a tired sigh.

"Fine. Let's just go home…" Eren said, looking down to the pavement as he walked past his boyfriend. His pace stopped when Rivaille abruptly circled his arm around his stomach, making them having another eye-contact. Still angry with Rivaille being so secretive, Eren averted his eyes away.

"We need a place to talk." Eren gave a grin when he heard him.

"Then, let's go back to that pastry shop. You can have your coffee while I get my pastry." Rivaille shoot him a look when he heard him.

"You're paying, you little…" he stopped his insult when Eren's hand dragged him back inside the building.

"Don't worry, I've got some income with me!" Rivaille grunted at him and let the boy do whatever he wanted for the time being. He wondered if the income he was talking about was enough to cover for both of them. Walking faster to match his pace, Rivaille clasped their hands together.

**_TBC_ **

Anyway ty for the reviews! n.n –hugs all–


	13. Their Story

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. [©AsakuraHannah FFN](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/13/Overwhelming-Emotions)

 _ **A/N:** _ Beware of some adult content in this chapter ;D _Italics_ are the past life scenes.

**_Chapter 13 : Their Story_ **

Rivaille eyed the receipt when Eren searched for his wallet. His eyebrow twitched at the amount. They had ordered the pastries on the cashier and Rivaille got the coffee Eren promised him. He was surprised when Eren put the bills on the small awaiting tray, nodding when the lady took his payment for further confirmation of their orders.

"Okay, we'll send your orders to your table in a few minutes. Thank you." She said and started to get on for her work.

"Let's take a seat in the corner." Eren happily said after he took their table's number from the lady.

"I'm surprised you indeed got some income." Rivaille muttered, following his lead to their table. Eren threw him a smug look and took a seat across him.

"I got an errand in the library, plus my Dad is home. He'll be staying for a month around here and he gave the monthly income to my wallet. That's why."

"Your dad is home? I want to meet him if I can. It's been so long since I met him."

"Oh sure, why not. We can go to my house after this. He's out shopping with Mikasa today. I couldn't go with him since I've promised to go with you. They told me they won't be long, maybe they are heading home right now."

Rivaille hummed, nodding at him. He remembered the time when he met Grisha. After being tossed out from the house, he was confused with everything surrounding him, he was then brought into a different country with only Irvin by his side and his limited German language. Wandering around the country, Rivaille had gotten into the corner side of the city, sitting by the lake on his own. When he was lost in his thought, thinking if the lake could make him sleep for eternity, a gentle voice interrupted him.

Grisha was there, asking if he was alright since his face looked pale. Soon he found out he was a doctor who was having a visit to his relative in Germany. He was married to an Asian lady and got one son and an adoptive daughter. He invited him into their house, telling him that Irvin could pick him up in their place when he finished his work.

That was the time he realized the meaning of his nightmare. The time when he met the green eyed boy who always came into his dreams. Being called out by his title from the boy named Eren, Rivaille abruptly stood up, earning a confused look from Doctor Jaeger and his wife, Carla. He almost knocked the herbal tea Carla made to calm his mind when Rivaille quickly paced towards Eren's direction. Both adults were watching them with a mix of wonder and confusion when Eren started clenching his shirt with gleaming eyes. He kept calling out his name as _Rivaille Heichou._ Rivaille rushed to pull the boy into his arms, holding him close as Eren let out a choked sob. He made a quivering voice, chanting the boy's name like a mantra as they continued hugging each other tightly.

Eren eyed him sadly, smiling when he listened to Rivaille talk about the time they met.

"I thought I was dreaming, but it was real, I got you in my arms. I didn't let go until you pulled away. Your parents were surprised but they didn't sound disgusted or even tried to send me away. I told them about my nightmares and how they were related to you. Doctor Jaeger explained that it was probably a memory from my past life. They were there for some reason. I was having a hard time believing when I heard his explanation. He sounded so convincing that it scared me, but since you also remembered some of your past life, my doubt was confirmed." Their order came a few minutes ago but it was left untouched. Rivaille's story made Eren forget about his craving for pastry. The man had put his hand on top of Eren's, caressing it with his thumb.

"I was surprised when I saw you in the classroom, you were in Japan now." Eren nodded and started picking up his fork with his other hand.

"Yes, my mom wanted to rest in her country, that was her last wish. Beside we've been back and forth to my dad's hometown so much. After her funeral we haven't got a chance to go back. Dad's money drained because of the funeral, and trying to keep us educated while working back and forth outside cities. We also got expenses for the bills and food. We're starting to get back to our feet now."

"That doesn't mean you can spend your time eating some fancy food like, right now. The pastries in this shop are not for high-school income." Rivaille teased, making the boy cringe. He was taken back to what Eren said next while pouting.

"I just wanted to treat you like a boyfriend does. It's a payback for what you did to me last time." He mumbled, too embarrassed to even let the man know. He eyed Rivaille when his tutor let out a small grunt, as if he sounded discomforted, which was actually the other way around.

"Don't say things like that, I could eat you now." Eren's eyes widened as his cheeks flared redder by the words Rivaille picked.

"Shut up, now continue with the story!" He hissed at him like a snake to hide his embarrassment. Rivaille lifted up his cup and slurped the coffee, pleased when the caffeine went down his throat. He drew the cup away from his lips only a few inches and chuckled slightly.

"Right. You wanted to hear an explanation of what exactly?" Eren stayed silent, thinking until Rivaille decided to just start from the time they were starting into each other's pants. He put the cup down and leaned forward.

"You were so submissive the time when you were released from the dungeon, afraid of making mistakes with everything you did. It pissed me off greatly because I just couldn't think of any other way to make you relax. I thought at first it was your nature, but lately I found out that you seemed more relaxed when you're surrounded by your friends. I don't know until when the feeling started, Eren, but I realized that I'm getting jealous because I'm not able to see you smile in front of me like you did in front of your friends." Eren fidgeted when Rivaille ran the tissue he was holding to clean the mess on the corner of his boyfriend's lips. Blushing at his carelessness, Eren licked his lips clean. The smirk never leaving Rivaille's lips when he saw that tongue wetting those chapped lips.

"We're finally able to understand each other after that ruckus with the Female Titan." Those emerald orbs flickered curiously.

"What happened?" Rivaille squeezed Eren's hand tighter.

_"Ouch." Eren rubbed his head when a rock was thrown to him from behind. His face looked back to find a child glaring daggers in his direction._

_"Get away from wall Sina, you monster!" He shouted, obviously trying to be brave. Eren did nothing but huff tiredly. Why were they in wall Sina again? Oh yes, there's some ruckus about a Female Titan invaded the inner wall and they were ordered to help out. He was still feeling tired and drained over the event that was happening. The Scouting Legion got to clean the mess, the Military Police obviously treating them like some kind of slaves. Their leader, Irvin was off with the other high authorities to have a meeting on the runaway titan while the underlings ought to help out cleaning the corpses and scattered debris._

_"Hey, what are you doing? Get away from him! Do you want to get eaten?!" A voice made all the nearby soldiers look up. The mother of the child pulled him away while her eyes looked scared, blatantly accusing the Titan-shifter for being there._

_"Ignore them." Mikasa whispered, patting on his shoulder while Eren gave her a reassuring smile. He nodded and walked away._

_"Seriously, I don't get why they are still keeping the boy while it's obvious he is a monster." Another angry retort got thrown towards him while Eren picked up heavy debris off the ground. Armin, who just jumped down from the roof with his 3D gear eyed the man with a frown, his blue eyes shifted to the brunet._

_"Don't mind them." He said and helped him pick the debris up._

_"I hope this is not just their scenario for getting the good side of the King. I mean, they eat from the taxes after all." The woman continued, pushing her son away from his attempt to throw another rock to one of the scouting soldiers nearby._

_Corporal Rivaille was not far from them when he observed the whole thing. He walked towards the soldiers and ordered them to get back to their headquarters before one of them caused any unwanted casualties. He eyed Eren when the boy walked past him with an unreadable expression. Eren flinched when Rivaille put his hand on his shoulder._

_"Corporal…"_

_"Get some rest. You look pale." Rivaille muttered and squeezed his hand into him._

_"Eren, your nose is bleeding." Armin shouted in concerned, he hurriedly ran to him._

_"He looks like he's gonna fainted anytime soon. Come on, let's go back." Connie shouted from across them. Eren's head started to spin, almost losing his footing as he clutched his throbbing head. Strong arms caught him right before he landed on the ground, surprising him as he got lifted up._

_"Wha-"_

_"Stop struggling! You're not light either!" He shut his mouth when he was being reprimanded. Eren's face flushed when his superior brought him in his arms right in front of everyone and walked towards the nearby carriage. Rivaille put him down gently and told the others to hurry up and go back to their building using their horses and gears. Right after he closed the door and the carriage started moving, he eyed Eren in concern. The brunet was panting slightly and sweating a lot. He brought his hand to touch his forehead, not surprised when he felt the fever on his palm. Rivaille pulled his handkerchief and pressed on Eren's nose to stop the dripping blood._

_"How many times do I have to tell you to look after yourself, brat?" He cursed when Eren grunted in response. He shifted in his seat and circled his arm around Eren's shoulder, pulling him closer. He let the boy's head rested on his shoulder._

_"Corporal, you are warm." Rivaille looked down at him. He stayed silent for a moment, let out a sigh and kissed his forehead._

_"Get some rest until we arrive."_

* * *

_Eren blinked several times, trying to make out his surroundings. He slowly sat up, surprised when almost dry, folded clothes fell onto his lap. He picked it up and put it aside, thinking that his fever had gone down. He must have used up all his energy to shift into Titan form a few times and finally collapsed. Wondering just how many hours he slept, he jumped when he looked to his side. His eyes found his superior sitting on the chair beside the bed, arms crossed in front of his chest but his eyes were closed. Eyeing the man in confusion, he wondered if Rivaille was the one who nursed him. The man's head slowly bobbed down, so lost in his own dream that Eren had to chuckle at the sight. It was a rare sight seeing Rivaille so unguarded._

_The chuckle brought the man to a stir and opened his eyes though, making Eren bite the bottom of his lip. The nervousness came back without him wanting to, he couldn't help it. He had admired him beyond words; Eren had always watched him from afar, even the time when he was still a trainee. The time when he saw Rivaille on the front line behind Irvin when the team were about to head out the wall, he was marveled by the sight. He never wanted to miss the chance to look at him from the middle of the crowd ever since then._

_Eren felt even more nervous when Rivaille took him in, helping him out from the dungeon and from the courtroom, gained him custody to watch over him. Even if what he did was only for duty, Eren felt his hope get raised up every time the man had ordered him around, telling him to rest when he noticed he wasn't well enough to train. Telling him to eat properly and even to stay by his side during their time out of the expedition. He knew the man's order meant nothing other than an order, but Eren felt different. He wondered if his superior had noticed his feelings though, Eren could be so transparent._

_"You are awake. How are you feeling?" Rivaille asked, breaking his thoughts. Eren gave a silent nod, averting his eyes from those ravens orbs._

_"Answer me properly, Eren." Eren stiffened and raised his eyes to look directly at him, pounding his fist on his heart._

_"Yes sir, I'm fine, sir! Thank you for your concern!" he said, eyes glazing with respect. Rivaille's eyebrow twitched at the answer. He wasn't meant for the boy to respond like that. Shaking his head disbelieved, Rivaille exhaled softly._

_"Relax a little will you?" He offered, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly._

_"I'm fine. I'm sorry. It's just that…" he stopped his sentence, unsure if he should continue, not knowing how Rivaille would take it. He was surprised when Rivaille put his fingers on his chin, forcing him to stare right into him._

_"Can't you put your guard down in front of me? Surely it's been so long since I took custody of you. You look so stiff every time I see you, yet you can smile before your friends." Rivaille voiced out, eyes still not leaving those green eyes of his. Eren opened his mouth and closed it, unsure how he should reply.. A dust of crimson colored his cheeks when Rivaille let his hand drop, still waiting for him to continue. The titan-shifter cupped his mouth for a moment, brows frowning, deep in thought._

_"I'm sorry, I was… nervous, I guess. Being in front of you made me nervous because I admire you so much, Corporal. I just felt the need to do everything perfect in front of you and not to let everything get in the way."_

_The way his superior gazed at him made Eren wonder if he had talked too much. He was astonished when Rivaille leaned closer to his face and gave a light kiss on the lips. Eren closed his eyes, enjoying the small touch on his lips until Rivaille tilted his head and kissed him deeper, letting it all out when the boy didn't resist. Eren jolted when his superior's tongue lapped across his lips, seeking entrance. The gasp made him gain victory and enter without waiting, making Eren let out a small moan when their tongues meet. The battle went on for a few seconds before Rivaille pulled away, eyeing the boy with a smug expression._

_"Nice expression." He whispered against his lips. Eren's face flushed brightly._

_"I didn't know you shared the same feelings." Eren breathed. That statement made Rivaille flinch._

_"You… what do you think I have been doing to you for all this time?" Eren's eyes widened in surprise._

_"What?"_

_"What do you think I've been doing? Bringing you to my arms when you were sick, telling you to eat properly and even kissed you on your forehead. I've done it many times; you didn't even catch the hints? How stupid are you?" Rivaille grunted when Eren was lost for words._

_"I… I thought you were just… acting nice. Like a mother hen." Rivaille cursed under his breath._

_"Someone won't kiss you on your forehead if they were just acting nice, idiot. I'm glad I kissed you on the lips." Rivaille muttered, massaging his temple frustratingly while his face was red like a bulb._

"You were so dense I could punch you in the face." Rivaille muttered, eyeing Eren who was now face-palming in front of him. He let out a satisfied smirk when Eren grunted in return.

"The story went on as we got closer and closer, as the time went by. The time when we were going to go out of the expedition one day, the night before, we made that four promises with each other." Eren pulled his hand away, shyly eyeing Rivaille when he gave another explanation.

"We were having hot sex during that time." The brunet's eyes widened, his face couldn't get any redder when he heard him. Rivaille's eyes looked dreamily for a second, he didn't let Eren retracted his hand from his hold on the table.

_Heavy breathing mingled as they looked at each other after they came back from their high. Eren moaned when Rivaille pressed soft kisses on his sweaty bare chest, he wrapped his arm around the man's back, closing his eyes in enjoyment._

_"You know what?" Eren looked up at him with half opened eyes, smiling as Rivaille kissed the corner of his eyelid. He stayed silent, letting him continue._

_"Every time we're going outside the wall, I'm always anxious about losing you. I don't know what will happen out there. I knew you can't die easily, but I'm still worried. Stay by my side always, Eren." Rivaille pressed his lips firmly against the boy beneath him._

_"Let's make a promise then." Eren murmured when they parted for breath. Rivaille pressed their forehead against each other._

_"Promises?"_

_"Yes, just a simple promises so that we won't be apart."_

_"Like a pinky promise? That's lame." Eren rolled his eyes at the last word._

_"No, make it sweeter. Maybe with kisses?" Rivaille thought for a moment before he gave a kiss on his forehead._

_"Like this?" Eren chuckled, he loved it when the man did that to him. He moved up to return the kiss on his nose. Rivaille wore a thin loving smile and kissed him on the cheek. Feeling a warm pleasure spreading across his body, Eren pulled him down to claim his lips again. They moved their lips together, smacking their lips against each other hungrily before Rivaille pulled away._

_"You are deliberately trying to re-arouse me." he grumbled while pushing his hard member against Eren who mewled at the contact._

_"Nggh, Rivaille."_

_"Let's make that become our promise." Rivaille pulled back a bit and took something from inside the drawer of his nightstand. Eren frowned while trying to focus on their conversation. He then felt Rivaille pressed his lips against his forehead, whispering to him._

_"I'll give you my heart." He moved to kiss his nose while taking Eren's left hand into his._

_"My soul." When Rivaille kissed his cheek, Eren looked up the time his eyes caught a shimmering metallic object his superior was holding._

_"My everything." Eren flushed brightly when saw a cold round metal slid into his ring finger._

_"Ri-Rivaille… this…"_

_"… and so we'll never be apart." He kissed him on the lips when Eren's tears slid down to his cheek in happiness._

_Rivaille gave a panting breath when he broke their heated kiss. He moved to rub his erection against his underling's, earning a soft moan from his lover._

_"Eren, marry me." Rivaille whispered against his ear, listening to a choked sound from Eren when the boy raised his hand high in the air. The emerald glistened in the dark, the same color as his eyes. The ring was beautiful, Eren couldn't help but felt overwhelmed with so many emotions._

_"Yes… YES!" He shouted while wrapping his arms around the man tightly, sobbing in happiness. Together they embraced each other tightly, move to find relief and lost in the pleasures of the world they created._

_"Nngh… Ah. Corporal…" Eren gave a gasp when Rivaille slid himself back into his lover. He grunted at the feeling of being stretched once again. A guttural moan came out from his superior when his length got engulfed in the tight warmth once again. Rivaille pulled out and slammed back into him, earning a sharp yelp from Eren as his cock was fully inside him. He whined, gripping the tangled sheet with his trembling hands, burying his head back into the pillow._

_"Eren, call my name" Rivaille panted while he licked down Eren's neck. His lover's moaning and groaning only brought him closer to the edge._

_"Rivaille" Eren rasped when the hand wrapped around his cock, pumping vigorously. He mewled when Rivaille played with the tip while moving himself faster into him. The way he called out his name was enough for the man to shudder, feeling his peak nearer. He needed to wait for Eren._

_"Eren, come for me, Eren. Let me come inside you." Eren's increased voice fueled him to pound into him harder. His lover cried out as he wrapped his leg around Rivaille's waist, grunted when the position only brought him deeper inside. Eren buried his face into the crook of Rivaille's neck, biting him there when the tip of Rivaille length brushed something deep within him._

_"AH... Rivaille. There... please harder" Eren shouted, obviously lost in the pleasure feeling when Rivaille aimed his pleasure spot again. He wrapped his arms around his neck, jerking violently when he came, chanting his lover's name as a warm white substance pooling out from his cock. Rivaille groaned while pressing their mouth together, thrusts in a few times and shuddered._

_"Eren…" Eren whined against his mouth when he felt the warm liquid fill him._

_"I love you…" Eren whispered, smiling at the man on top of him, whispering those three words again and again. Rivaille closed his eyes, he would never get tired when hearing those words coming from Eren's mouth. He brought his hand into his, kissing the ring lightly and replied those three words with a husky whisper._

"Those four promises were actually the way I proposed to you." Eren's eyes watered when he listened to the story. The pain in his chest just got worse than before. He knew the feeling, it was painfully familiar yet he couldn't grasp all of the images.

"We're both so happy after that, protecting each other when we were outside the wall. Spending our time together until several months."

Eren swallowed the heavy lump in his throat, watching when the man's face contorted at the changed topic.

"Everything was alright until those bastards were trying to make you guilty by bringing up that topic about female titan in wall Sina into the court."

_"Eren Jaeger!" Eren raised his head when he was called in rather harshly. He saw the man with a military police uniform approaching him after he stepped out of the carriage. Rivaille stepped forward, raising his left hand as if shielding the Titan-shifter from the man's grasp._

_"Is there something you need,_ _Nile?" He asked the man, sending him an intimidating look. Nile Dawk scoffed when he saw how protective Rivaille was towards the boy. His eyes caught a glimpse of the ring worn on his finger, it had a similar design as Eren's. The man sneered at him._

_"Apparently, your lover was summoned back to the court, last time we didn't get a real decision of the situation. Here, I got the legal letter." Rivaille took the letter from his hand, glaring up at him. After checking that the letter was indeed from Dallis Zacklay with the legal stamp, Rivaille grimaced._

_"Why now?" The messenger shrugged at him._

_"Just get into the court and we'll see. You have to let Irvin know as well." The man turned around to walk with his fellow soldiers back to their carriage. Eren stepped forward._

_"Don't worry, we'll do something about it."_

_"What's the letter about?" Eren frowned, eyeing the opened letter that was supposed to be his. Rivaille shook his head._

_"It just says that you're summoned back to the court without any information." Rivaille let him read the letter on his own. Eren shook his head._

_"They are obviously trying to bring you down." Eren stared at the letter Rivaille crumpled in his hand. He grabbed his fist, giving him a reassuring smile to his superior._

_"I'll manage." Eren whispered._

Both of them stayed silent, Eren could tell that Rivaille was searching for the right words to continue the story. He put down his fork after a few moments of silence between them. He frowned when the man blinked a few times, exhaling nervously. When Rivaille put his forehead against the palm of his hand, Eren went rigid in his seat.

"Look, Eren… I… I'm not ready for this part… It's not like I'm trying to hide it from you or anything. It's heavy. These memories are too heavy for me to…" he paused, unsure what he was supposed to explain to make him understand. Eren squeezed his hand lightly, giving him a warm reassuring smile.

"It's okay. We'll continue next time, Rivaille. I'm sorry." Rivaille gave a soft chuckle, shaking his head.

"Silly boy, don't say sorry." He whispered, giving him a sad look for one last time.

"Hey, let's go home. You wanted to meet my father, right?" Eren said, giving him a smile to try to cheer him up. Rivaille nodded in silence, both of them walked out from the café hand in hand without words until they were on the front of the train station. When the older of the two stopped walking, Eren looked at him in concern. He wondered if he forced the man too much for telling him about the past. He was surprised when Rivaille suddenly pulled him into a tight hug, kissing him forcefully. Eren gave out a loud moan, his hands fisting on Rivaille's jacket, trembling slightly at the way Rivaille licked his mouth. He tried to break free from his grasp when their body pressed up close against each other to the point Eren could feel the hardness against him. Blushing when he felt the contact, he tried to distance himself from him.

"Uhmh. Rivaille…" He tried to stop him, panting slightly when his saliva dripped down his chin. The way his tutor looked at him made him feel more embarrassed for some reason. Rivaille put his forehead against his shoulder, breathing in his scent. Eren held his arms with trembling hands, letting the man do what he wanted.

"I'm sorry, the memory has been too hot to be forgotten." Eren's breath hitched.

"It's alright." Eren closed his eyes, his fingers were playing with Rivaille's hair lightly. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Eren decided to call home to let his sister know that Rivaille was coming over. He didn't want her to throw a fit when she hadn't prepared anything for extra dinner.

"I'll call Mikasa before we arrive. Is that alright?" He pulled out his phone when Rivaille nodded. Waiting for his sister to pick up his phone, he closed his eyes while his boyfriend showered him with kisses on his face.

"Mikasa, Ah, I'm going to go home now. Rivaille wanted to meet Dad." Eren pushed the man off him when he nibbled on his earlobe playfully.

 _"Eren, actually I'm in the hospital at the moment. I'm sorry for not telling you anything."_ Eren almost dropped his phone.

"What? Which hospital are you in?!" Rivaille threw him a shocked look.

_"No, it's not me. It's Marco. We met during our time getting out from the market. There was an accident, Jean almost got run over by a car, but Marco shoved him away. He's injured and we brought them to the hospital nearby."_

"Is he alright?"

_"He hasn't woken up yet, but if you want to go here, I'll give you the details. We'll be home late so I'm afraid that I can't prepare dinner for you. You can go ahead and buy some takeaway food if you want to."_

"Alright, give me the name of the hospital via message. I'll go there." Eren closed his phone, giving Rivaille an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, is it alright if I go to the hospital? Marco got into an accident."

"I'll go with you." Rivaille gave him a comforting look. Eren squeezed his hand back and nod.

* * *

Jean looked up when he saw his friend walk towards him in silence. He was sitting on the bench across Marco's room in deep thought with Mikasa by his side. He wasn't sure what kind of face he should show them, but when he forced a smile, Eren gave him a look.

"How is Marco?" Eren asked.

"He is fine… He hasn't woken up yet but at least he's fine. It was a hit and run. Well, I don't know, I don't want to hold a grudge… Only…" Jean paused, hands gesturing for the word to spill.

"Only… his wound on his face won't heal that fast. It will leave a scar. He also broke his leg."

"It's better that way…" Eren spoke up, Jean gave a several nods at his words.

"Yes…. Yes, you are right. He's alive, that's what matter… I'm glad that we got your father near us for being able to act quickly. I… I can't lose Marco… he saved my life." Jean stopped, swallowing nervously right after he said the last words.

"Everything will be alright…" Mikasa whispered to her friend.

The three of them looked at the door when a few people came out.

"It's alright, his injury is not fatal. He just blacked out because of shock from the pain. His leg will be fine after few weeks." A wash of relief painted their faces when they heard the news from Grisha.

"Can we go inside?" Jean rose to his feet when Grisha nodded.

"I'll have to report the medical treatments with the doctors here. Call us if he wakes."

"I… I'll pay for the bills." Jean stuttered as he heard the man. Grisha gave him a small reassuring smile before patting his shoulder and turned around without words.

"Don't think about that for the time being. That's what he said." Mikasa muttered to her friend. Jean hesitated for a moment.

"Let's go in." Eren said while opening the door.

After getting inside, they talked about the accident. Marco hadn't woken up for about half an hour. When he finally stirred, Jean was getting anxious, asking if he was alright and all. The guy only smiled at him, telling him that he currently didn't feel anything because of the painkillers. The only thing he complained about was that his leg hung quiet uncomfortably which earned chuckles from his friends.

It was past an hour when Mikasa reminded Eren that he had his own business for the day. His boyfriend wasn't coming inside the ward. The man was smart enough not to come near his classmates.

"Eren, you can go now. I mean, maybe you can take your dinner somewhere? I'll stay here until dad finishes."

"Oh, sure. Go ahead, thanks for visiting." Jean said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Eren gave a nod.

"Thank you, Eren." Marco gave him a gentle smile.

"I… I'll get going." Mikasa nodded at him when their eyes met. She knew that Rivaille was waiting for him outside. They might as well meet at home if they wanted to.

By the time Eren left the room after waving to his friends, his mind trailed to his boyfriend. He took his mobile phone out of his jean pocket and texted him, wondering where he was. Rivaille had told him that he needed to go to the toilet right after they went inside the lobby. Just before his message was sent, he gasped in surprise when he crashed into someone going his way.

"Sorry, I'm—"

"Brat, look where you are going…" Eren startled after seeing Rivaille stood before him.

"Hey, sorry for the wait. I thought you'd come inside."

"I can't say that I just went on a date with you, now can I? Seeing that I came with you to the hospital would be weird as well, even if I lied that I bumped into you on the street. How was it? Is your friend alright?" Eren nodded at the question.

"He's fine. He got a broken leg that will heal in a few weeks and a scar on his face. He had woken up and he's alright. At least his heart is still beating." Eren gave a short nod, looking rather forlorn. Rivaille fixed his eyes on him, before taking his hand on his.

"I'm sure it's painful, but at least he's alive. That's what matters. I've lost so many lives before my eyes that I could barely do anything to stop death. You should be grateful, at least your father had a chance to save lives. Maybe it will come down to you too, who knows." Rivaille looked hurt for a moment, it was obvious that he felt the pain of losing his friends in the past. Eren chuckled when he heard the last sentence.

"Mikasa is much fitter than me for being a doctor. I'm not smart enough." Rivaille ruffled his hair affectionately.

"You are just lazy, you brat." Both guys stared at each other before Eren's lips curved.

"I'm alright. If there's someone who should be crying, it'll be Jean." Rivaille nodded shortly and cupped Eren's face in his hands. Pulling him closer so that he could give him a soft kiss on his forehead, trying to make Eren feel better by a simple affection.

"Eren?" Eren jumped at his name. He whipped his head to look at his father and breathed out in relief.

"What's with that shocked face?" Grisha chuckled at his son.

"I thought it was someone else, Dad. By the way, this is Rivaille." Eren immediately pushed his boyfriend forward. Grisha blinked at the man before him, the boy whom he had seen was now an adult.

"Doctor Jaeger, long time no see." Rivaille gave a slight bow to him. He was surprised when Grisha enveloped him into a tight hug.

"Rivaille, how are you? It's been so long." Rivaille bit his lip, not moving from his spot even if Grisha had pulled him into his arms. Eren was watching from the sideline, unsure what to do with the event before his eyes. He knew that they had met before in their childhood, but Eren didn't remember how close they were.

"I'm sorry." Rivaille breathed, Grisha shook his head at him.

"Don't say that. If anything, I should thank you because Eren is safe. He's healthy now, he's fine. You shouldn't feel sorry. You should be glad that you caught him in your arms that time." Grisha patted him on his shoulder when Rivaille finally able to raise his head again. Eren smiled at them.

"I'm alive, that's what matters." He said and gripped Rivaille's hand with a big smile on his face. Rivaille felt some heavy burden slowly lifted up from his shoulders as he squeezed his hand back.

_TBC_

I wonder if this chp is too long? n.n'' Anyway, I hope this chp is sweet enough that you got cavity xD Anyway, Marco's accident is important for Armin's feeling towards Jean. You'll see.

Thank you for the reviews –hugs all-


	14. Judgement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine.  
> A/N: Italics are the past scenes. Once again, this is a fanfiction, anything that were to happen in the end of this chapter, is a fanfiction.

They had their dinner at the hospital's cafeteria before they drove home. Eren couldn't believe his ears the time his father offered his boyfriend to stay over the night in their house. He flinched when he caught the fierce look on Mikasa's face the time he looked to his side. They spend the night sharing about the period after Rivaille left Germany. It was almost 1 o'clock by the time Grisha finally let them have some sleep that Eren dragged his boyfriend upstairs to his room.

"No." Eren's eyebrow rose, looking behind him. He was in front of his room when Rivaille asked where he was supposed to sleep.

"Don't you have a guestroom?" He pointed at the room not far from Eren's. Eren shook his head.

"That's not a guestroom, it's mom's room. Dad won't let anyone sleep in that room since it's full of Mom's stuff. Actually my room is the guestroom. Ever since we hit puberty, I've needed to move out from Mikasa's room. Don't worry; you can sleep on my bed. I'll sleep on the floor." Before Rivaille could protest, Eren had pushed him inside the room.

"No... I didn't mean that." He let out an irritated sigh. Rivaille sat down on his boyfriend's bed, watching Eren smiling down to him.

"I'll take the futon from Mikasa's room."

"No, no. Eren... I can't let you sleep on the floor, I'm the guest here." Rivaille quickly pulled the boy close to him. Eren sniggered, turning around to hug him instead.

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to..." Eren paused, flushing as he tried to search for the right words. The look on Rivaille's face was obviously what got Eren to look away.

"Hell no. Your dad is downstairs; I won't take the risk of deflowering his son under his roof." Eren snorted at him after hearing his choice of words.

"Fine. We can just cuddle in bed." Eren pressed a soft kiss in reply. Rivaille pulled him down for a more heated kiss, circling his hands around the brunet's waist. He was more than grateful when Eren opened his mouth for better access. His tongue immediately roamed inside him hungrily. Just as Eren let out a soft moaned, the door suddenly opened after a few knocks. Both guys quickly broke apart, flushing when they saw Mikasa at the entrance of the room.

"Oh my God… I hope you two are not going to do it here." Mikasa's pursed her lips in annoyance, cringing when she noticed how red Eren's face was.

"Mikasa, at least wait for permission before entering my room!" Mikasa rolled her eyes.

"Here, I brought some fresh old clothes for you to change, _Sensei_." She glowered after Rivaille who silently took it from her hands. Mikasa was about to walk out when she suddenly turned around, squinting her eyes at her sibling.

"I don't know how you can moan like that, Eren." Rivaille chortled while Eren spluttered. She gave a satisfying leer at her brother face-palming with a low embarrassment groan.

"I'll change, I guess." Rivaille stood up after the girl closed the door.

"Bathroom is that way." Eren pointed at the door on the left side of his room with a tired look on his face. Rivaille tousled his hair affectionately, ignoring the protest sound from his boyfriend and went to the bathroom.

* * *

Eren turned his head to his side when he sensed the warmth beside him shifting uncomfortably. He opened his eyes to see Rivaille staring at the ceiling with wide opened eyes.

"Can't sleep?" Eren murmured, bringing his hand to softly stroke the elder's cheekbone. Rivaille pulled his hand into his, kissing his fingers with a gentle smile.

"I'm not used to sleeping at this hour. My sleeping schedule has been messed up ever since I entered the university." Eren frowned drowsily before fully facing him.

"Now I know why you replied to my message at 2 am." Rivaille circled his arm around Eren, pulling him closer. He leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Go sleep, Eren. Don't mind me." Rivaille pulled away for a bit when Eren attempted to kiss him on the lips.

"Do the usual." The nag made Rivaille titter slightly. He kissed him on the forehead, nose, cheek, and lips. The boy sighed contently the time their lips met, enjoying the feeling of Rivaille's hand around his hair, playfully twirling his brown locks in between his fingers. Eren's hand twitched as Rivaille lips pulled away and back to his lips, making small smacking sounds as their lips crashed together. Eren unconsciously chased after Rivaille when he drew back his lips. The raven did that until three times before Eren peeked from under his eyelids, feeling annoyed by the tease. Rivaille's eyes were closed, lips curving into a thin smirk while he pulled back. A familiar image before his eyes abruptly made his chest pound painfully.

"Rivaille…" His tutor groaned in the middle of the kiss, feeling Eren move closer towards him. He opened his eyes, astounded once he found Eren's eyes gleaming with tears.

"What's wrong?" He cupped his cheek in worried. Eren shook his head.

"I don't know, I suddenly felt so sad and nostalgic at the same time. It was like a déjà vu." He gulped his saliva after he replied with a ruptured voice. Rivaille caressed his back lovingly.

"Eren… We used to sleep together like this before. We used to cuddle up with each other and share kisses before we fell asleep." Rivaille whispered, closing his eyes, letting Eren hugged him tightly. He didn't let him go the whole night, not even after Eren fell asleep in his arms, comforted by the caresses and warmth.

* * *

Eren opened his eyes to find Rivaille's face very close to him, sleeping soundly. He shifted slightly, wriggling himself out of the arms which wrapped around him securely. Rivaille mumbled in his sleep, his green eyes watched the frown on his eyebrows slowly back. He pressed the tip of his forefinger in the middle of Rivaille's brows, the man had opened his eyes, questioning his action. Eren's warm breath touched his lips when the brunet let out a small laugh.

"Why can't you get rid of your frown?" Eren asked curiously, his forefinger tapping on Rivaille's eyebrow playfully.

"Stop it." He slapped his hand away weakly. Eren grunted when Rivaille moved to press his face fully on his chest, breathing in his scent. His phone suddenly rang loudly and Eren raised his hand, tapping on the window sill on top of him. After he finally grasped it in his hand, he saw Armin's number on the screen.

"Hello?" Eren cleared his throat after he answered the phone.

 _"Eren, Are you still in bed? I heard the news about Marco from Connie yesterday. Apparently Sasha got the news from Annie who called Mikasa and told her boyfriend about it. We're going to the hospital today, are you coming?"_ Eren's brain tried to focus on all the information Armin had given him. He pressed his palm on his sleepy eyes, his head suddenly spinning.

"Armin… Too much talking. I visited him yesterday right after the accident. I heard he'll be discharged today evening if they don't find internal injuries. Wait, what do you mean by her boyfriend?" He heard his blonde friend laughed at the other line.

_"Sasha's boyfriend is Connie, who else. Okay then. We'll go there without you."_

"Unexpected news in the morning, I should have known. Okay, tell Marco I'm sorry I can't go." Eren hung up the phone and looked down to Rivaille who was still breathing softly against his chest, arms wound tightly around him.

"Good morning." Eren muttered lazily.

"I don't want to get up…" Rivaille muffled, tickling the brunet with his breath. Eren tried to move away, laughing at Rivaille's hands poked his ribs and waist.

"Stop it, its ticklish." He flushed, shying away from his boyfriend. Rivaille suddenly shot up.

"Oh no. I forgot about my thesis… I should walk back home fast." Eren chuckled, sitting up a little.

"At least have breakfast first." He moved to kiss him but Rivaille pulled away, face distorted in disgust.

"I'm not letting you kiss me until you brush your teeth, brat." Eren scowled at that. He moved out of his arms and walked towards the bathroom with a pout.

They got breakfast after waiting for one another to finish bathing. Once they were downstairs, Mikasa had already prepared their breakfast on each side of the table. Grisha was reading the newspaper the time the two of them walked in. After greeting him good morning and enjoying the peaceful breakfast, Rivaille told Eren that he needed to go back home. The man was at the front gate with Eren sending him off.

"I'll return the clothes tomorrow." Eren nodded.

"Don't worry about it. Good luck on your thesis." He grinned while Rivaille scowled.

"Sorry… It's Sunday but…" Eren shook his head.

"It's alright. We'll meet tomorrow or later, depends. I also have homework to do. Exams will come next month."

"Yes, Jaeger, your last test wasn't very satisfying." Eren winced as he heard his lecturer.

"We'll see about that." The brunet mumbled, waving him off. He leaned down when Rivaille mentioned their ritual. Those kisses always made him feel warm inside. The sudden sadness raised up to his chest as he watched the man stride away. He wondered why he felt like Rivaille was going to disappear anytime soon. Shaking his head in disbelieved, Eren walked back into his house.

* * *

Rivaille stared at the PC screen blankly; he was stuck in between his paperwork now. His plot was starting to form nicely with the help of Professor Pixis, but he wasn't sure if he could keep going with the current state. Keep on writing meant he needed to recall their hard time again, his nightmares were coming back, and he had slight tremors at the thought of his boyfriend in this life. He heard a knock on his door and Rivaille looked up.

"Come in."

Irvin opened the door, looking neat and ready to go. Rivaille's eyebrow rose when he saw a suitcase in his hand.

"Are you going somewhere?" Rivaille asked, wanting an explanation. Irvin gave a hesitant smile before he walked into the room. Rivaille's eyes fixed on Irvin who made himself comfortable on his bed. The raven crossed his arms and legs, eyeing the man with a frown. Obviously, there's something wrong here.

"Okay, talk." Rivaille commanded him.

"I want you to know that I'll be away for about 3 days, or probably more depends on the situation. I'll be back in France." Irvin started, clasping his hands together. Rivaille stayed silent at the news.

"Don't worry about your internship; Hannes will cover me when you need help during class."

"That's not what I'm thinking about." Rivaille cut him. Their eyes stared at each other until Irvin gave in to the demanding look.

"Rivaille, your father is sick. He needs you to come back."

"No. You know the answer, Irvin."

"You are the only legal heir of theirs." Irvin felt dejected when Rivaille shrugged it off.

"They still have their adopted son with them. Mike has a much more suitable position anyway. The time they threw me out, I did not belong there anymore. I'll come back to France, but I'm not going home. It's only to finish my university and start working back in Japan, I guess? End of sentence." Rivaille was already turning back to the computer when Irvin stood up, dragging up his suitcase along.

"Your older brother is not the legal heir, Rivaille. You need to at least tell them that you're not taking over your family's business." Irvin didn't react when Rivaille slammed his fist on the table.

"They won't care about me the time they told me to get out from the house. They have another son who lives in reality and not in dreamland. He can take over their business for all I care. I don't give a damn! They should have known I'm not going back." Irvin shook his head at his hard headed attitude.

"Consider it for a few days. You might not meet your Dad anymore." Irvin whispered and walked outside the room. Rivaille had looked down to the table, not even replying to Irvin. The moment he heard the front door close, Rivaille threw his printed thesis papers off the table, leaving it scattered around the floor. He pressed his fists to his forehead as he breathed in rage. His mobile phone suddenly rang but Rivaille ignored it. Once it rang for the second time, Rivaille picked his phone and threw it to the floor, not caring where it crashed on the cold hard floor.

_'Are they trying to crush my dream?! Now that everything seems to be alright, they wanted to cage me again! I can't just leave Eren without any words. This life sucks! The past life sucks! Everything sucks!'_

* * *

It was just after the sun had set when Eren was walking towards the house he was heading. He couldn't help it when he already missed his boyfriend after a few hours they parted. He had finished his homework hurriedly just so he could be free from it. He wished that Rivaille wouldn't be distracted too much if he knew he was coming to visit. He slowed his pace when he spotted a taxi in front of Rivaille's house.

Irvin recognized his student pacing slowly towards the house, he threw him a terse smile.

"Eren?" Eren nodded his head politely to his teacher.

"Good evening, Sensei. Is Rivaille at home? I tried to call him during my way here but it seemed like he'd switched his phone off." Irvin smiled at the boy before him, he was so transparent with his feelings. He could see now that Eren was there, Rivaille wouldn't be able to leave Japan.

"You should talk to him. He needs someone to talk to right now." Irvin nodded at him to come inside the house. After the boy strolled inside without any more words, Irvin gave a last smile before getting into the taxi.

Eren's eyes scanned the neat living room. It was too silent, only half of the light was on which he figured was the kitchen. One door slightly opened, figuring that it was probably Rivaille's room, he grinned cheekily. He tiptoed, headed to the room, eyes peering inside from the slightly opened door.

Eren stunned when he saw Rivaille sat on the floor, leaning on the edge of his bed while facing outside the porch. His room was dark with only the moonlight illuminating from outside the window. He couldn't see his face but the man looked like he was in a deep thought. The brunet pushed the door open as silent as he could, eyes looking down at the scattered papers which his foot had set upon. Eren quickly stepped back, bending down to pick up the paper. The noise of the paper shuffling was enough to make Rivaille spun around to see who was entering his room. He quickly stood up, alerted when he saw his boyfriend reading his draft, he was the last person he wanted to see right now.

"What are you doing here?" Rivaille's surprised voice made Eren look up, he meekly lowers the paper and stand up straight. The man wore a very murky look, reminding Eren at the time Rivaille told him that he had killed him in the past.

"I was just… decided to visit after I've finished my homework."

"Put that down, now." Eren stiffened at the order and quickly set the paper on the table.

"What's wrong?" He dared himself asked after he stole glances at the wording on the paper. He saw his name in the first paragraph he scanned earlier, wondering if it was the thesis his boyfriend was working on. Rivaille shook his head.

"Nothing's wrong. Sorry, Eren, but… can you leave?"

"Are you not going to talk about it? There's definitely something wrong here." His hands pointed at the scattered papers and the broken mobile phone which he just recognized. Now he knew why his call didn't get through. Rivaille brushed his raven strands hair and sighed softly.

"I was just… my feelings were conflicted." He clicked his tongue whilst he saw his mobile phone had split apart. He picked it up, putting the battery back to its place and pressed the cover firmly together. He threw the phone to the bed after he was able to switch it back on with several tried.

"Explain to me about it." Eren tried to find some comfy on the bed, his action brought Rivaille's brows rose. He was definitely not happy with it.

"I told you to leave."

"Is it the draft?" Rivaille paused in the middle of waving his hand to the door. He pulled down his hand in defeated, grunting as he sat on the carpet and leaned back against the bed.

"You just wouldn't leave, would you?"

"I saw my name on the paper." Emerald orbs met raven for a moment until Rivaille looked down.

"I'm sorry… It's starting to get harder to keep writing. Hell, I'm even thinking about dropping it." Rivaille pressed his fist on his temple, grimacing when his chest stung greatly.

"Rivaille…"

"It's tough, Eren. I don't want to write it anymore. I wonder why I even wanted to write it in the first place. Writing about us being split apart, writing about you _dying_ in my arms…" Rivaille shook his head, blinking several times, his eyes starting to get hot by the tears. His body trembled slightly as he tried to hold back his tears, flinching during the time Eren circled his arms around his shoulders.

"Let me listen to it, so I can pull the burden off your shoulders." Eren whispered in his ear, smiling. Rivaille circled his arms around him, returning the embrace, his raven eyes stared blankly as his mind racing with lots of painful memories. He opened his mouth, spilling the continuation of the story he cut off during their time in the pastry shop.

* * *

_Eren was inside the courthouse, he stood in the front while Corporal Rivaille and Commander Irvin was on his back, guarding him as if to prevent any casualties. Their friends were on the right side of the barrier, while the opposite direction was the Military Police Forces. Nile Dawk looked somehow happy while they waited for the judge, Zacklay, to start. They looked up to Zacklay who was walking into the court table, gazing down at each of them. The old man took the report paper on the table, eyes scanning the words, and started summarizing the text out loud._

_"Eren Jaeger. You are a human who can shift into a Titan. You had been put custody under the Scouting Legion so that they could restrain you when you lost yourself. Supposedly, while working under the Legion, you had given yourself, body and soul to help humankind. Is that right?" The whole court stayed silent, waiting for his answer._

_"Yes, sir." Eren said firmly. His fingers unconsciously played with the ring on his left hand, the court reminded him the time he received several kicks by Rivaille. It was just an act to get him into the Scouting Team, showing the people that he'd be able to restrain him by force. If Rivaille hadn't done that, he'd been shot dead on the spot._

_"Such a quick answer. Will you be able to explain the cause of the Female Titan in Wall Sina? I received reports that you almost devoured the Female Titan, it seemed like the titan was also like you. She was Annie Leonhardt, in the Military Police, who could shift into a Titan." That made all eyes turn into Eren whose heart started to beat faster._

_"I…"_

_"I was also informed that you almost devoured her, you stopped halfway, letting her escape into a crystal form."_

_"I didn't let her escape-" Eren interrupted him._

_"Silent!" The Titan-shifter flinched when Nile shouted at him._

_"It was obvious while she was caught and put under the watch for the Scouting Legion. The crystal suddenly evaporated like a Titan's dead body and she ran away after killing the men on watch." Eren's eyes widened at Nile, they were putting all the blame on him. He was fighting alongside of the team, couldn't they see that?! He was about to interject just in time Rivaille spoke up._

_"I believe it was Annie's own tactics to escape, Eren had nothing to do with it. He wasn't even there when she escaped." Eren looked at him, he was somehow scared when he noticed the look on Rivaille's face._

_"Are you defending him, Rivaille? You know, the time you'd gain feelings towards the boy you've grown soft in the inside." Rivaille threw Nile a look._

_"Are you saying I'm some kind of a bastard who doesn't have a heart? I'm not like you, Nile. I'm not going to back down when someone insulted my lover." Their bickering was interrupted by Zaklay hitting his palm on the table several times pretty loudly._

_"Enough! Eren Jaeger, you are guilty for losing yourself in the battle and making Annie Leonhardt escape."_

_"No, wait, Sir. I believe you should look in the way that Eren had fought with us bravely. I should tell you that he was just trying to get her off the nape of her Female Titan and caught her." Irvin interrupted them, Zaklay nodded, listening. He rubbed his fingers on his chin and continued reading the paper he was holding._

_"And then he halted for a moment, I heard. I don't know what happened, but several reports told me that Eren Jaeger had probably exchanged info of her escaping. He let her transform into a crystal and escape for her own good."_

_"That's a lie!" Eren shouted, earning a few gasps from the people in the court._

_"You have no right to speak up!" Nile shouted, hissing in disgust after seeing Rivaille circle his arms around Eren, calming the human-titan. Mikasa was biting her thumbnail of the news and banter before them, Armin had been shaking. What kind of report had they got while everyone was busy fighting? Was it the people in Wall Sina who told the Military Police a false report?_

_"I didn't let her escape!" Eren tried again, Rivaille had to pull him when the boy started to get panicky. Zacklay once again hit the table with his palm, slightly getting bored by the ruckus._

_"I've come into a decision. Eren Jaeger is guilty and needs to be executed tomorrow. Seize him and take off his Scouting Legion jacket." Rivaille gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe this, Eren had not performed such a vile act. How could they distort every possibility just to make him guilty?!_

_"Won't you consider that, Sir?" Irvin stepped in front, brushing the sweat which formed on his forehead. His eyes shifted to Eren who was struggling when the Military Police men took him by the arms. The boy grunted once Rivaille kicked one of the men and pulled Eren by force into his arms._

_"Any causality that you cause in the courtroom will make the Scouting Legion's downfall. I'm sure you know that, Irvin." Irvin gulped at the glinting of danger in the eyes, the cold stare from the old man directed specifically to him._

_"If you're defending the boy, I'm sure you're just defending any other Titan to be free. What kind of Scouting Commander are you? The execution will be held tomorrow in the open area in front of the Military building." Zacklay stood up and walked away._

_"Eren is human!" Rivaille shouted after throwing his punch to one of the police. Eren was gasping for breath, his trembling hands were cuffed right after his jacket stripped away by force. The raven was about to do another spin kick on the man when one lurched towards them. He almost toppled once Eren suddenly clanged to his waist._

_"Rivaille, stop! Please stop." Eren panted, his face felt numb by the punch from one of the police earlier. His superior stared down at him, disbelieved._

_"Let's just stop this… Okay?" He didn't want Rivaille being executed of the treachery by defending him._

_"Eren…?!" The police pulled Eren up forcefully by the chain. Hissing when he was dragged outside the courtroom into the dungeon, his green eyes turned towards his friends. Armin was biting his lower lip while he tried his best to keep Mikasa away. Their eyes met and Eren nodded at Armin whose eyed him sadly, unable to do anything. Eren gave a comforting look to Mikasa for the last time._

_Rivaille stared at Eren's back before he disappeared behind the closed door. His fists were trembling greatly as his breath labored. As soon as the people started leaving the courtroom, Rivaille's eyes scanned the flood and found Pastor Nick among them. He quickly walked up to him before he left the room and pulled him down by the collar. The man was stuttering as he was being dragged by him. Irvin could only shake his head at the scene, there was nothing he could do to stop the man now. He followed him curiously, watching from the side with Rivaille walking bristly towards Armin._

_"Arlelt." Armin pounded his fist on his heart, saluting. He tried to ignore the man who was now struggling to get free from Rivaille's clutched hand on his collar._

_"Yes, Sir!"_

_"I'm glad they are stupid enough not to seize you and Ackerman into the dungeon. I need you to think up some strategy." Armin's face went pale when Rivaille pulled out his blade and swung it right before his throat. He raised his trembling hands in the air, completely terrified._

_"Sir, if you told me to think up some way to release Eren-"_

_"I want you to think of some opening. Good thing tomorrow they will hold the execution in the opened area. I want to hold a quick matrimony right after I release Eren from the heavy pole. I want you to think up some strategy for our escape to the lake in the forest near Wall Sina." All the nearby people who heard him eyed Rivaille flabbergasted. Armin opened and closed his mouth for about two times, unable to find his voice._

_"This is an order, Arlelt. This person will legalize the marriage tomorrow." He pointed to Pastor Nick by shoving him forward by the collar like a dog._

_"I- I will do what you want but can you please release me?" He let out a choked gasp the time Rivaille pushed him off. He fixed stare at the tall man, daring him to escape. Pastor Nick gulped, rooted in his spot._

_"Don't leak this information to the military Police. Don't tell Eren about this yet. If any of you don't want to die, you better listen to my order." All eyes stared at the Humanity's Strongest Soldier in fear. He was satisfied when they gave several nods nervously. Rivaille shifted his eyes on the door to which Eren had just left through. They had been engaged for quite a long time and were yet to hold their matrimony. He had planned it all along for having a quiet grand ceremony, but things had turned upside down. Rivaille looked down as his bangs covering his eyes._

_Soon, Eren… Soon…_

_**TBC** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … omg I can't… -kill self-
> 
> Preview for next chp:
> 
> "Look how soft his skin is, he looks so precious, without scars on him. I envy him."
> 
> "Let's run away." Rivaille whispered.
> 
> "Rivaille…" His pupils were shaking in horror at the sight of Rivaille's clothes painted red with blood.
> 
> "Eren, don't." Mikasa started.


	15. Pursue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:  
> I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. ©AsakuraHannah
> 
> A/N: Mature scenes, rape attempt, murder and blood, you've been warned. This chapter is the past life, the continuation of the previous chapter, the story-telling from Rivaille, that's why it's all in italic.

**Chapter 15 : Pursue**

_A loud yelp was heard from inside the dungeon, Eren found himself being thrown_ _quite_ _brutally onto the wall. His head slammed into the hard brick, forcing him to stay still from thrashing around. The other man pinn_ _ed_ _his shackled wrists above his head. Eren's green eyes glin_ _ted with_ _a fierce glare to the soldiers on watch who were sneering mischievously at him. They shouldn't be in the cell with him, their duty was only to stand guard in front of the cell to prevent him from running away. Before his tongue could form an insult word, a knee connected to his stomach, earning a loud grunting sound from the Titan-shifter. Eren muffled when his face met with the sheet of the bed, doubling up with pain._

" _What's wrong, monster? Did you lose your power already? I thought no matter how many times we beat you up, you won't feel any pain. It heals quiet fast,_ _doesn_ _'t it?" The other shorter man laughed at the retort, fully agreeing._

" _Look how soft his skin is, he looks so precious, without scars on him. I envy him."_

" _Yea, this makes me want to touch him even more."_

" _You guys are the worst." Eren grumbled after a few second able to catch his breath. That statement brought both men glowering at him._

" _What did you say? You have no reason to call us worse, you human eater!" Eren winced when the man's hand clasped his hair._

" _Hey, look at that ring. How could he even have this ring? Did you steal that? There's no way you can afford this ring." Eren made a face as the man's breathed against his neck, he drew back a little, feeling repulsive. The boy inhaled sharply when the ring was pulled off of his finger._

" _No, don't! You are not touching that!" He tried to reach for the ring but the soldier quickly pushed him off. Eren yelped when he was sent off the bed, crashing to the ground. Eren's hands trembl_ _ed_ _when he felt the coldness on his left ring finger. He swiftly sat up, staggered to the soldier who was busy examined the ring he just stole._

" _Give that back!" He shouted, desperately reaching for the engagement ring his superior gave him._

" _Why do you need this anyway? You're gonna be dead tomorrow! We can sell this ring and make more money!" The man gave a satisfied look to the boy's enraging look._

" _Don't be like that, we can let you have fun for your last night here. Hey, strip him!"_

 _The brunet gasped when the other man quickly h_ _e_ _ld him in place. Eren's voice muffled by the hand covering his mouth. He clenched his eyes shut when he was flung to the bed of the dungeon. There's no way this will be happening to him, all he wanted was to have a peaceful night reminiscence for the last time of his life, recalling wonderful memories of his time with Rivaille. Eren let out a choked sob as he was forced on his back and saw the man ripped his shirt apart. He wished it was Corporal Rivaille who did that right now. He wished it was his lover who was breathing hard against his neck. Eren gritted his teeth, wincing slightly at the disgusting feeling being handled by men other than his lover. He was regretting for the fact that he didn't get the time to recall Rivaille's sweet fingers against his skin. Deciding that he didn't want to see anything, the boy clenched his eyes shut._

" _Let go!" He emitted a futile screamed, groaning whilst receiving a punch on his face._

" _Hooo…" His green eyes shot open and looked up to see a familiar face before him. Both men abruptly stopped their actions and stood up straight. The taller of the two saluted while the other tri_ _ed_ _to find his voice._

" _Co-Corporal, what are you doing? It's dangerous here. This Titan might eat you." Fear crept up Eren's face after noticing Rivaille's expression. Without words, Rivaille took a few steps forward and kneed the tall soldier in his stomach just like the man did to Eren previously. The shorter military police flinched at the sudden act. The guy spit some blood and doubled up in pain. Rivaille fisted his hair while chuckling darkly at him._

" _You know what? You guys are much worse than a Titan. Give that engagement ring back to me!"_

" _E-En-engage…" The man was writhing in pain as he tried to grip the ring properly in his quivering hand. He was mortified when he recognized the same ring design worn on Rivaille's left finger. Rivaille wrenched the ring off from his fingers and rammed his boot on his face._

" _No one touches my lover." Satisfied when the guy lost his consciousness, he turned to the other soldier who was crawling to get out from the cell. Before the man could escape, Rivaille kicked his side, ben_ _t_ _down to yank his collar, fisting it until he was having a hard time to breathe. Eren went pale as he watched the scene before his eyes, the soldier's face had turned blue._

" _Rivaille, no, please stop!" Eren shouted, he wrestled to get off the bed, halting his attempt to kill the man._

" _Don't kill him, please." Eren winced after his knee gave out just behind his superior. He pulled on his clothes from behind, trying to soothe his lover down._

" _They hadn't got the chance to do anything, so please stop." Eren gave a sigh of relief when Rivaille dropped the man to the ground mercilessly. He turned around to face his lover and pulled him into a tight embrace, eyes glistened with sadness._

" _Who knows what will happen when I didn't force myself to come inside."_

" _Don't tell me you've knocked off the men on the front door." Eren felt warm spreading through him when Rivaille slid the ring back to his finger and gave him a peck on the lips._

" _I did the right thing." He turned to face the soldiers who were sprawled on the ground, unconscious. Eren blinked after Rivaille lifted the soldiers by the arms and dragged them outside._

" _What are you doing?"_

" _They are an eyesore. I'll be staying here tonight with you." Eren grunted at him, telling him what to do was not an option._

_Once he was outside, Rivaille tossed the men into the janitor's room. He didn't have the need to dirty his hands with their blood, for now at least. He'd just left them unconscious in the stuffy room, slammed the door shut, and snatched the key off the hole. He eyed the door mercilessly before turned his heels back to the dungeon. His mind recalled the previous meeting he was having with some of his trustworthy underlings. It would be a few more hours before their operation began and he had made sure that Pastor Nick was captivated by Irvin's._

_Rivaille closed the cell door behind him; eyes fell on the green eyed boy who was sitting on the bed, looking forlorn. He sat with his knees up to his chest, hugging them tightly while resting his chin on it._

" _Eren…" The boy didn't raise his head until he sat on the bed beside him._

" _Let's run away." Rivaille whispered, placing his hand on top of him. Eren shot him a surprised look as if the man had gotten mad._

" _Where are you planning on going? It's impossible to run away as long as we are within the walls. We can't go outside these walls, Rivaille." Rivaille stroked his hair affectionately._

" _We can go to the sea, the place you're always talking about." Eren shook his head, burying his face in his arms._

" _I don't wish for that anymore if I'm not with you, Corporal. When you go there alone later in the future, if they let you bring my ashes, throw them into the sea for me." Rivaille's eyes widened when he heard him._

" _Why are you letting them do what they want? This is an accusation, Eren. Stand up for your freedom!" Eren glared at him._

" _There was no freedom from the start! I wish I could, but everything I said to them was retorted back to me in a different direction! Everything I said was wrong! You've seen the way people treated me in Wall Sina, moreover in the court. I'm not human. There's no freedom for me, running away is useless." Hearing the last words being said in a soft tone made Rivaille's heart scrun_ _ch_ _painfully._

" _You are human! You are human, Eren! Don't ever forget that!" Rivaille commanded him, earning a choked sound from Eren for he finally lost himself. His superior pulled him into a tight embrace, letting the boy cr_ _y_ _in his arms._

* * *

_Eren stared blankly at the ceiling, his tears had dried while Rivaille continued stroking his hair as they lay down on the bed, cuddling each other._

" _Do you remember the time we met? It was also in the dungeon." The raven whispered._

" _Your eyes were burning with rage, saying that you wanted to exterminate all the Titans." Eren's lips curved up into a small smile._

" _That time, I never thought that we'd be this close to each other. I never thought I'd be your lover, until the time you brought me in your wings. I've always looked up to you from the crowd whenever you were in the front line before the gate entrance. Even when I_ _was_ _still a trainee, I wouldn't want to miss the chance to see your appearance. I always chanted my wish for you to be safe before you went outside, grinning like an idiot when you went back inside the wall safely." Their eyes met when Eren gave out his confession._

" _So, what was it? Love at first sight?" Eren laughed._

" _Corporal, make love to me for the last time." Rivaille gave a slight sad look at the request. He brushed his thumb over his underling's cheek softly, a lump forming in his throat on his effort to swallow his saliva. The older of the two sat up and pushed his beloved on his back, staring down at him intently. Eren gave a smile, his eyes gleaming with tears he tried to hold back._

" _Don't cry, Eren. This will be our last, let's make it memorable." Rivaille captured his lips with him, kissing him while tangling their fingers together. Soft moans came out on their tongue lapping through each other. The chains made loud rustling sounds at the movements Eren made to circle his hands around Rivaille's nape. Both of them looked down at the cuffed wrists before Rivaille groaned._

" _Oh no, this look hotter than it was supposed to be." Eren flushed._

" _What- You… I should have known you liked this kind of play." Rivaille sneered at him before pulling Eren's pants down along with his underwear._

" _Ah, Rivaille…" His green eyes stared up at the man on top of him after he was being exposed, soft scarlet hue coloring his face in shyness. His superior gazing down as he admired the boy before his eyes. The shirt which had been torn apart made him look more delicious before his vision. Eren quivered at the smirk his lover wore while leaning down to him, kissing his shoulder, leaving marks on him. The brunet gasped, feeling the man's fingers trailed down his body, letting out a soft grunt of embarrassment when it touched several sensitive places. He let out a guttural sound; lips were claimed quite roughly, leaving him breathless as the tongue invaded deep inside his mouth. The green eyed boy unconsciously squeezed the man's arm, which was resting on his side, securing him closely. Eren whimpered against the kiss the time he felt those roaming fingers playfully poke his, hard-on. He pulled away from the mouth to give a satisfying sound, adjusting himself up to get some frictions. He heard himself begging, wanting to feel more pleasure from those teasing touches._

_"Corporal…" His vision blurred as the man steadily took his cock in his hand, pumping him slowly._

_"AH…" he rasped out when he finally got what he wanted. Rivaille bent down to suck on his left nipple, wetting his fingers with Eren's pre-cum in the process._

_"Nngh more.. please…"_

_"Eren… take it slow… this might be the last… remember?" The Corporal whispered gently, nipping on the underside of his ear when Eren's head moved to the side. He was unable to control the saliva dripping down his mouth on the way as Rivaille licked his navel. His body shivered with need at the soft teasing touches on his hips._

_"No… please… don't remind me…" He gave a sob when the hand stopped working, Eren growled in disappointment, raising his hips up to chase the hand. Rivaille drew back and tugg_ _ed_ _out his own erection, stroking himself a few times with panting breath_ _s_ _. He smirked down to his lover's flushed face, showing off his little show before slowly crawl_ _ed_ _to his upper body. Eren inhaled sharply on the noticed of the older man climbing further up to his face, pressing the tip of his dick in front of his mouth._

" _Make me wet." He commanded him shortly. Rivaille bit his lower lip when the boy hungrily wrapped his mouth around the head of his erection. He flinched when Eren's hand massa_ _ged_ _his hips through his tight pants while wetting his dick with his saliva. The boy swirled his tongue across the tip before licking him down on the base of his cock. Rivaille wrapped his fingers around his brown locks with Eren swallow_ _ing_ _him whole while fondling his sack, trying to maintain his shaky breaths. He pushed his face away when his dick twitched with the pre-cum forming around the tip._

" _Eren, enough." He rasped, Eren licked his lips, looking into his eyes with foggy eyes, making Rivaille grunted at the sight. He pushed the boy to lay back down on the bed, making him whimpered when his superior calloused hand wrapped firmly around his hard-on which twitched right away at the touch._

_"Eren…" The boy closed his eyes when his superior claimed his lips once again, enjoying himself once their lips were back connecting with each other. Eren's voice muffled when the fingers worked their way inside him, he whined with needs across Rivaille's lips at the feeling of being stretched apart. It was until Rivaille's fingers brushed the small nub within him that Eren lost in pleasure. Rivaille panted at the sight of his lover writhing beneath him. He licked his dry lips and adjusted himself on the puckered entrance._

" _Can you wrap your legs around my waist?" Eren lifted one of his legs and circled his hand around his nape, bracing himself up. Rivaille helped to guide his leg up to circle firmly around his waist, holding him in place. He'd be lying if the sight didn't turn him on after feeling those cuffed hands around his neck. He claimed his lips to prevent Eren's habit of moaning out loud when he was being split up. A low rough moaned came out between their lips, Eren was now fisting Rivaille's shirt with trembling hands, trying to tone down his enjoyment of being one with his lover. Rivaille pulled away a bit, gasping for breath once he'd fully inside his lover._

" _Sorry, is that hurt? It's not too dry is it?" Rivaille shuddered while trying to hold himself back. He was glad that Eren shook his head while panting heavily. Rivaille couldn't help but growl when Eren moved for some friction. The man slowly pulled away and slammed back inside, earning a choked sound coming from his lover._

" _Ah!" The brunet clenched his eyes shut, feeling the older man ramming inside him again right after he let his voice out._

" _Nggh Eren, not so loud." Rivaille hissed._

" _I… I can't help it." Eren panted, grousing when the tip of Rivalle's length brushed his prostate after a few searching thrusts._

" _Oh, Rivaille, harder." Rivaille grounded their lips together, trying to muffle every sound coming from Eren's mouth. The boy could be so loud when he wanted to. Their noises were unavoidable as they drove faster towards each other, seeking their blissful peak. Rivaille taking in the figure before his eyes as Eren stared up into him. Both of them were trying to savor each of their presence into their minds, taking in every detail they could remember. Eren felt his eyes water when he caught the look on Rivaille's face. He brushed his quivering hands to his lover's cheeks while Rivaille licked his earlobe._

" _Nnghaah Rivaille, please…"_

" _I know, I'm also…" He tugged on Eren's earlobe with his teeth, panting harshly while burying himself deeper and deeper into his lover. It took about three thrusts until Eren reached his climax, the man licked his mouth while Eren jerked beneath him with so many noises. He grunted when he felt himself reached his end, cumming into Eren's clenched walls._

" _I love you, Rivaille. I love you." Eren shuddered, lips chanting his usual words out of habit when he felt his lover's seeds inside of him. Tears falling freely from his eyes as he sobs, his body shook with sadness. Rivaille licked his tears away, kissing his forehead, nose, cheek, and lips while whispering their rituals._

_"I'll give you my heart, my soul, my everything, and so we'll never be apart." Eren hugged him close, hissing when Rivaille pulled out of him._

" _We'll never be apart. Promise me?"_

" _Yes, Eren. We'll never be apart."_

" _You'll stay by my side until the end?"_

" _Yes, Eren. I will stay by your side."_

" _You won't ever forget about me?"_

" _I won't forget about you, even after I die. That's my vow." The brunet was satisfied with the last answer._

" _Chase after me if I forget about you." Rivaille kissed Eren's ring and nod._

" _I promise." He said while wiping his tears away with his thumb before kissing him sweetly._

 _Rivaille let Eren ha_ _ve_ _some sleep while he watched over him for a few hours before untangling himself from his lover. His eyes turned cold as he dressed himself properly. He pecked the boy on his lips before getting out of the dungeon, readying himself with their plan._

* * *

_Armin looked up when the door opened, all eyes turned into the strongest soldier entering the room. They stayed silent until Rivaille spoke up._

" _Shall we repeat the plan?" All soldiers nodded at him, the on_ _es_ _that_ _'d_ _been beside Eren and himself, the one_ _s_ _who he could trust with his plan. He eyed them one by one, Mikasa, Armin, Shasha, Connie, Jean, Irvin, Hanji, Reiner, Bertholdt, and including the rest of their friends who they brought with to volunteer. Pastor Nick winced when he met Rivaille's gaze._

" _Alright, let's start. Armin, you can start." Irvin stepped forwards, mentioning their best strategy to spread out their plans once again._

" _According to the report from Mike who was spying on the headquarters, Eren's execution will be at dawn. He'll be chained onto the pole and we'll have to break the chain that's attached to it." Armin started._

" _Rivaille, you'll have to use the new blades I had prepared to break the chain." Hanji interrupted, pointed at the gear set on the table. Rivaille stared at the shining blade in his hand. Later, those blades would be used to kill people, not a Titan. Everyone held their breath unconsciously when they saw the dull look in the Corporal's eyes. Armin decided to continue._

" _I think if we're fast enough to draw attention from the people by causing commotion, we'll be able to bring Eren with you into the forest. Jean, Reiner, and Berthold will work together to take over the cannons and shoot towards the execution stage just to make a commotion and smoke. Corporal, you should fly into the smoke with Mikasa as your back up while Commander Irvin took charge of the escaping toward the opened path." Rivaille gave a nodded._

" _Sasha and Connie will bring horses with them for the three of you to escape; Pastor Nick will be waiting with me and Squad Leader Hanji by the lake. The other squad will back up for the plan to cover your escaping path into the forest." There_ _wa_ _s no plan B at the moment because everything had to move fast. All they could do was wai_ _t_ _for their fates even if it would cause the downfall_ _of_ _the_ _Scouting Legion. Armin gritted his teeth, secretly blaming himself for not being able to think up some other plans._

" _Irvin, I have something to add." Irvin looked at Rivaille puzzled._

" _Just tell them that I insist and put all of you in the threat of my own action. That's fine if this excuse will add some help from the downfall of the team." Rivaille sneered at the blonde man who remained silent._

" _What are you going to do after the wedding?" Mikasa stepped forwards. Rivaille looked into her eyes and gave a smirk._

" _What do you think? Even I can't predict the future. If Eren dies, I'll die. I'm sorry, I can't protect your brother…" Mikasa buried her nose into her red scarf around her neck as she looked down. The room went silent when they heard him._

" _Why?" Pastor Nick dared to speak up. Rivaille glared at him, despite his glowered, the old man continued._

" _Why did you go this far? You can continue living, marrying some noble woman since you are after all the Lance Corporal. Why didn't you?" Rivaille raised an eyebrow._

" _Are you stupid? After this operation, people will not look at me the same anymore. I'll be a criminal. Besides, isn't this obvious enough? I love him; I don't need anyone else in my life. Enough chit chat. Let's get going."_

" _Alright, let's get moving." Irvin commanded. Just when everyone walked out the room, Rivaille spoke up to the last person to get outside the room._

" _Arlelt, I thank you from deep inside my heart." Rivaille whispered, making the boy widen his eyes at the praise. The man didn't say anything further before he walked outside the room, following the others._

" _You could have asked me to plan on running away." Armin whimpered, eyes getting hot by the tears. He quickly brushed his eyes and ran tailing the group._

* * *

_Eren looked down from the top stage of which his execution took place. He was being shackled into a heavy pole, kneeling down on the wooden stage. His eyes could see the audience watching him, waiting for his death. He felt relieved when he didn't see any hint of Rivaille in the crowd, he didn't want the man to watch him die before his eyes. The time he woke up this morning, the Corporal was nowhere to be found. His bed was cold, showing that Rivaille had left a few hours ago before he woke up. It didn't take more than five minutes before the soldiers walked down to the dungeon and dragged the Titan Shifter outside the dungeon._

_Eren gave a soft sigh, closing his eyes in defeat. His fingers playfully grazing the ring that was still on his left finger, at least he got something he could bring to his death. Eren looked up when his eyes caught a glimpse of Zacklay preparing for the implementation. He didn't need to know how his death will be, even if he was a Titan there's a limit on how he could feel pain and went unconscious._

" _Eren Jaeger, you've committed a crime for letting the Female Titan escape! Your devotion into humanity was betrayed and you'll be sentenced to death. The ceremony will be held today, in this morning in front of the Military Police building, watched by the people of Wall Sina. The execution will start with the Military Police killing you by slicing your nape, the way how a Titan should be dead." Eren looked down and smiled bitterly, at least it will be fast._

_The man walked up to him and Eren's head was kicked from behind, forcing him to kiss the wooden stage. The boots on top of his head made him wince._

" _The execution will start, now."_

_As soon as Zacklay gave his last command, Eren closed his eyes. He was shocked when he heard a loud explosive sound, making the entire stage rumble when the cannonball made contact with it. The smoke surrounded them, lots of commotion started, the citizen nearby who had been watching had scrambled around and shouted in fear. Eren looked up, gaping when he saw the man who was supposed to kill him had died on the spot. His green eyes caught his superior running behind him._

" _Eren, we need to be quick." He heard Mikasa's voice, eyes looking around with her instinct perking up._

" _What? Are you two crazy?!" Despite his protest, he tried to pull his hands off the chain._

" _Yes, we are crazy, now let's esc-" Rivaille gasped when a sharp object pierced him from a behind, stumbling at the sudden attack. Eren's eyes widened as Mikasa stared in shocked by the sudden blades running in their direction. Some of the blades had gone through Rivaille and sliced Eren on his arms and cheek. It was like someone hadn't cared where the blades would land as long as they could kill the Titan shifter. What if the blades killed some of the citizen which was trying to escape?! Rivaille spat the blood out from his mouth, throwing a defiant stare on his back. The smoke was starting to get clearer and he could make out the faint figure of people surrounding them. The raven clenched his blades with trembling hands._

" _Rivaille…" His pupils were shaking in horror at the sight of Rivaille's clothes painted red with blood and attached blades on his back. The Corporal tried to stand straight, breathing hard as he turned back to him. Mikasa had prepared for the worse, her heart clenched when her brother screamed on top of his lungs, tears spilled down his cheeks. Rivaille was attacked in front of his eyes without him_ _being_ _able to do anything. The time he tried to force his hand away from the cuffs, it was starting to bleed._

" _Eren! I'm okay, Eren. Calm down!" Rivaille quickly brought his arms to wrap around Eren's shoulder, pulling the boy into his arms to calm down. Eren gave a hard sob, body shook with anger._

" _Who did that? Who threw the blades at you?!" Eren's eyes glowered dangerously as he looked around for some clue. Their instinct perked up when another rain of blades being thrown towards their directions. Mikasa was able to dodge and swiftly warded off a few blades with her gear. That's not the case with Rivaille who tried hard so that the blades won't reach Eren's. He ended up getting another new opened wound, feeling angry of Eren getting a few scratches._

" _Rivaille, get away! I don't mind being injured!" Eren's shouted desperately. Rivaille gasp_ _ed_ _for breath as he looked down to his lover._

" _Don't_ _be_ _concern_ _ed_ _about_ _me, we got a plan ahead." Rivaille winced as he moved, trying to keep standing with the excruciating pain all over his body. His hand accidentally dropped the blade he was holding and Mikasa quickly took it._

" _What plan? We are not going anywhere with your wound!" Eren paled at the sight of his lover's clothes was now soaked with blood, some dripping down his hand. He looked behind him as his sister had broken the chain bounding his hands. He heard another cannon being shot towards their direction and Eren pulled his hand free._

" _Eren, don't." Mikasa started when she noticed her brother's eyes. Eren stood up and wrapped his arms around Rivaille._

" _Nobody hurt the person I love." He bit his hand enough to draw blood._

" _No, Eren! Stop!" Rivaille shouted but it was too late, he soared into the sky when Eren transformed into a gigantic beast. The boy had turned into a Titan with him above his head, his superior clutches on the strands of his hair to prevent himself from falling. The man cringed at the loud howled attacking his ears, Mikasa who was now gaping hopelessly at the unexpected transformation, covering her ears at the sound. Rivaille cursed himself for not telling him anything, so much for trying to keep a secret._

" _Eren! You stupid brat! Don't spoil our plan!" Rivaille kicked the gigantic head below him, breathing heavily._

" _Mikasa, go ahead, we need to keep going to the lake! Eren, you need to get back to your senses!" The Corporal was now kicking the Titan's temple before jumping down to the front of his face. The Titan let out a loud wailing sound, swinging his fist into the execution stage, making it fall apart. They had caused lots of commotion than needed be. The raven grunted when he saw the Military Police had scattered around trying to be in the position for their attack, he knew who the head of their minds was._

" _Listen to me, brat!" Rivaille gave him a hard kick on his forehead after dodging several swings of his gigantic hands. Rivaille adjust his weight on Titan Eren's nose, staring right into his eyes while his hands clutched his dangling hair. Rivaille panting heavily as he gave him a reassuring smile. He raised his voice, trying to calm his lover down. The heavy steam coming out of his Titan body was unbearably hotter than usual. His foot was burning up._

" _Eren, listen! I'm alright, this won't make me die! We need to get going to the lake in the forest! It's not far from here, the forest is right after the entrance of Wall Sina's! Make yourself useful and bring me there! Now, Eren!" Rivaille shouted, voice cracking as he used his energy. The giant gave a growl, before wailing loudly. Rivaille felt like his ears going to bleed by the voice, but he was glad that Eren seemed to gain some sense within. He pulled himself up by yanking the Titan's hair the time Eren slowly walked toward the destination Rivaille told him. Lots of Military Police soldiers were starting to get panic._

" _Chase after him! Don't let him run!" Nile's voice could be heard and they were starting to fly towards their direction. Rivaille eyed the men, feeling sorry that they were not quite smart handling their maneuver gear._

" _Come on, Eren! Now! Irvin, take charge!" When he looked down, he saw his teammates were already getting away, he gave a nod to Irvin who was watching from the sidelines._

" _Cover them!" Irvin shouted as he himself urging his horse forward. Mikasa had mounted on her horse from Sasha's while Connie pulled the other horses along with him._

_Rivaille took a moment to breathe evenly as he watched the path they were going, his throat ran dry with so much shouting. His mind racing at the unexpected plan, in any case, he needed to slice Eren's nape to get the boy's off from this Titan body. He flinched when a pain shot through his back, these blades needed to be pulled out. His eyes searched for an open path to where he was supposed to pull the boy off of his Titan's flesh. They were reaching the gate when Rivaille looked behind him, the Military Police were still pursuing them, he saw a few of their teammates clashing their blades with the Scouting Legion. He gritted his teeth at the plan. He knew he was selfish, but he needed to keep his promise for his lover. Rivaille looked down on the Titan who was carrying him on his head unintentionally. He kissed the Titan's head before crawled down his nape once the Titan crouched down to get out of the gate._

" _Eren, I'm going to pull you off your Titan's flesh!" He shouted once they were outside._

" _Close the door!" Irvin shouted after knocking one of the guards. A loud bang noise came out when they threatened the door down from the inside._

" _Rivaille, we need to get moving." Irvin looked at him in horror when he noticed the blades attached to his back._

" _First of all, pulls the blades off of my back. I'll slice his nape and pull him out." Rivaille grounded his teeth when the blond man did what he was told. The blood splattered on the soft grass below their boots as the Corporal screamed. The nearby soldiers watched the scene with dreadfulness. Connie cupped his mouth as he tried not to hurl while Sasha wiped her tears._

" _Corporal, you had enough. Let me pull him off." Mikasa muttered, watching as the man had lost so much blood. Rivaille staggered to his feet, heaving at the pain. He was about to object, but Mikasa had jumped up to save her brother._

" _Ackerman!" She was a strong soldier, if anything, much more powerful than he was. She loved her brother dearly as much as he loved him. Rivaille watched when the Titan dropped to his knees, growling weakly. The sliced nape revealed Eren attached to the burning flesh. Rivaille quickly ran toward the evaporating Titan body, helping his sister-in-law._

" _All of you get going. We've lost much time. They've broken the door!" Mike who was spying the nearby gate shouted, urging his horse to lead them into the forest. All at once they hauled their horse while Rivaille sliced the flesh off of Eren._

" _Damn brat, you are heavier." Rivaille gasped once he was successfully cradled him in his arms. He jumped down from the high, ignoring his body protesting on the force of his movements. Rivaille heaved slightly while throwing his gear's wire onto the nearby tree and jumped up with Eren in his arms. The brunet stirred at the movements and he looked up to see Rivaille before his eyes._

" _Corporal?!" Rivaille looked down at the boy._

" _Woken up, brat? We need to get going to the forest now. They're so hard headed, pursuing us." His legs wobbled after taking landing on the tree branch._

" _Why forest?" The brunet had no more energy to move, he let the man cradled him in his arms. Rivaille landed on the grass after flying a few kilometers away from the gate. He adjusted Eren's height in his arms and leaned down to kiss his forehead._

" _You'll see." His eyes caught a few people wearing the Military Police's emblem heading through their way. Eren's eyes caught them and he's starting to get terrified._

" _Rivaille, put me down! You're wounded!" He shouted when the man started to run as fast as he could. Rivaille insisted on carrying him in his arms though, not letting his guard off._

" _Stop moving around!" Rivaille sucked in his breath when another blade flew towards their direction. What kind of people did that nowadays? Eren yelped when the Corporal lost his footing and crashed on the soft grass beneath them._

" _Damn it, those bastards!" His insult caught in his throat when Irvin suddenly stood before them._

" _Rivaille, use your gear whenever you can! Eren's safety comes first."_

" _Commander! Just leave me here, I… I don't want to cause any death!"_

" _Shut up, Eren!" Both guys clenched their mouth shut at the Commander's words. They had never seen Irvin raised his tone to the titan-shifter._

" _Shut up and go. Don't make our effort useless. Rivaille, I'm sorry if I'll be late on your wedding." Eren gaped at the last words. He let out a grunt when Rivalle brought him up in his arms._

" _What wedding?!"_

" _Our wedding, dumbass. Now stay still and let me carry you like a groom should be!" The brunet had no other words to say, his mouth went dry as he watched the man use his maneuver gear with him in the arms._

' _Tell me this is a dream…' Eren shut his eyes. Right before his death, with his wounded lover who lost so much blood, they prepared a wedding? Armin, what kind of plan did you set up?! He knew immediately the only person with insane strategy who could think this plan was his best friend._

**TBC**

**._. I know, but this chp is too long already xD**  
  
By the way, this remind me of the fanart I made a long time ago, I guess I really do wanted to write it even before I reached this chp, [here](http://asakurahannahda.deviantart.com/art/You-are-human-Eren-400388463)


	16. New Promises

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. [©AsakuraHannah](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/16/Overwhelming-Emotions)

* * *

 **A/N:** Character death in this chapter, you've been warned. _Italics_ are the past life scenes. And yup… this is a _dramatic_ story after all ._. And there's adult scenes...

Oh yes, this chp is un-beta, let's cheer on Dalasport (me beta) for her finals!

I tried to overlook this chp on my own, feel free to spots my mistakes. Just don't be so mean, I'm still learning after all. Anyone who want to help me out proof-read this chp, feel free to contact me.

* * *

_**Chapter 16 : New Promises** _

" _What wedding?!"_

" _Our wedding, dumbass. Now stay still and let me carry you like a groom should be!" The brunet had no other words to say, his mouth went dry as he watched the man use his maneuver gear with him in the arms._

' _Tell me this is a dream…' Eren shut his eyes. Right before his death, with his wounded lover who lost so much blood, they prepared a wedding? Armin, what kind of plan did you set up?! He knew immediately the only person with insane strategy who could think this plan was his best friend._

" _Why… Why a wedding, from all ideas…" Eren whispered, staring right into his face. These mixed up emotions were too overwhelming, he didn't know how to describe his current feeling now that everything jumbled up. Rivaille looked at him for a moment, studying his face before he leaped into another tree branch with harsh breathing. Eren eyed the blood splotching from his movements, regretness creeping up his heart knowing that he could barely do anything at the moment. He wasn't geared up with their weapons, he was defenseless and weak. He could turn into a Titan again but that was out of options since Rivaille would be mad. He himself was slowly recovering from the tortured of those military police given him, after turning into a Titan, his body couldn't handle the shifting very well. He was almost unable to move his limbs let alone escape alongside his lover._

_Rivaille landed on the ground and hide behind the bushes. He peeked behind him, observing the soldiers flew past their direction, not noticing their hiding spot. He was satisfied after seeing them turned in the opposite direction from the lake._

" _Good, they're probably heading towards Wall Rose, Arlelt was smart enough to think about this path." Rivaille hissed in pain on his attempt to lean against the tree. He set Eren down to stand on his own, eyeing him in concern._

" _I should have thought about bringing you the maneuver gear, that idea completely slipped my mind." Eren shook his head._

" _It's alright…" He looked down from those eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed about the sudden wedding. His lover noticed the shy averting glances he got and nuzzled his head lovingly._

" _I promised you a grand wedding, but everything happened so fast, I couldn't think up anything. I just… want to fulfill the things I can't accomplish before we separate."_

" _Rivaille…" Eren cupped his face, a loving smile gracing his lips. He had never thought that Rivaille was very thoughtful of their matrimony, even if being alongside with his lover was enough to make him happier than he ever will. Apparently, that's not enough with his lover. He pressed their forehead together, vision blurred by tears._

" _I'm sorry, had we not meet, this won't happen. I've destroyed your future." Eren sobbed._

" _What are you talking about at a time like this?! Don't be stupid. I do what I want, it's my life. This is the decision I've chosen and I'll not regret it." Eren chuckled after hearing those retort._

" _I guess so… I'm sorry." Eren nuzzled his neck. They stayed like that until Eren's vision caught a brown colored jacket in the middle of the dark green forest, heading in their direction. His green eyes widened when he saw a rifle pointed to them, Eren quickly shoved Rivaille aside, enough for the man to land on the grass with a loud surprised yelp._

" _Eren, what-" His blood ran cold at the sight of his soon to be husband shot right before his eyes. He quickly crawled to his lover, watching the blood leaking to the grass. Eren grunted as he clutched at his side painfully._

" _Caught you, monster!" Nile shouted in triumph. His eyes met Rivaille's enraging look, before he sneered at him_

" _Don't worry, Rivaille, he can't die. Unless we save him quickly, I think the bullet went into his liver? You also lost so much blood, why don't you two go back to the court and just take your punishment like a man?" Rivaille clenched his trembling hands into his fist before standing up and pulled out his blades. His eyes turned dull as he staggered approaching his best enemy. Alerted, Nile quickly stepped back._

" _Nile... It's you isn't it? Who commanded the rest of the military police to throw those blades to us? You even dare to wound my lover before my eyes… You are so dead…"_

" _You wouldn't-" He was about to shoot when the Lance Corporal launched into him, swiftly sliced his rifle apart, kicked him in his gut, pressing his boot on his face painfully as soon as he lost his footing. He gave a last satisfied smirk at the man who can't even let out any pleading sounds. He took a hold on his blade upside down before killing the man beneath him, grimacing at the sight of blood tainted his new blade. He threw the blade off the hook, before turning around to pace on his lover who was still lying on the ground. He looked down to meet Eren's green eyes staring up at him with an earnest look._

" _Are you alright?" Rivaille muttered while scooping up his lover in his arms._

" _I'm alright." Eren replied, resting his forehead against his neck. Rivaille kissed his forehead, soothing his worries and slowly headed towards their destination with heavy steps._

_A rustling sound came from behind and he spun around to see Irvin showed up by following Rivaille's blood tracks. Rivaille wore a thin smile at those questioning blue eyes when he saw Nile'd been dead. His look turned to worry at the sight of Eren's injury._

" _You made it on time after all." Rivaille mumbled. Irvin shook his head and patted him on the shoulder._

" _I'll take charge of your back, just in case some of them following your blood track. A few soldiers will catch up by the lake, let's get going." They quickly headed into the lake without any more words. At least they keep the plan going._

_The time they reached the lake, Eren's green eyes stared in marveled at the sight before his eyes. The lake was sparkling clean, reflecting the forest's trees and the early sky above. There's no ripples that the water glistened like a mirror, the colors blended together nicely. Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, and Hanji looked up from their sitting position, obviously impatient by the awaiting moments. Pastor Nick was tied onto the tree, unable to make any single movements other than his mouth. The trees where they walked through were decorated with a few silky clothes with white colors, trying to make it as merry as they could with the unprepared plan._

" _Oh my God, are you alright?" Armin was the first to notice the blood on their bodies._

" _Don't worry about it." Rivaille muttered, briskly walked towards the edge of the lake, crouching before the water and putting Eren gently on the grass. He nodded to Hanji who was untying Pastor Nick, and pushed the man forward with insult words if he dared to escape. For a second, the old man pitied the couple who was badly injured by the time he stood in front of them ― Rivaille kneeling down while supporting Eren in his arms. A few bloods had splattered on the grass as they breathed unevenly. Rivaille looked down when Eren took his hands in his, giving him a supportive look._

_All eyes were staring at them with mixed sadness and happiness at the same time. Pastor Nick took a deep breath._

" _I'll just do a quick ceremony." Rivaille silently nodded._

" _We're all gathered around on this day to give our blessings to this couple right before me. On the left side, is the Lance Corporal Rivaille while on the right side is Eren Jaeger. These two had given their love for each other, therefore I shall unite the two of you to become one and will never be apart. After you signed the contract with your blood, you shall seal your faith to each other with your own vow." Rivaille bit his thumb, drawing blood so that he could press a fingerprint on the contract Pastor Nick had signed on top of their names. He helped Eren to press his thumb on the paper after smearing it with blood._

" _Should I make the vow first?" Eren gave a nod at the inquiry, he couldn't help but to smile up at his superior, waiting for any kind of promises he'd hear._

" _Eren, as much as I regret for not giving you the life you deserve, I want you to know that I love you so much. I won't ever forget about you, even just for a bit, Eren. That's why… I… I wanted to say… I'm sorry…" His body shook as he held back his tears the time he caught his lover's expression. Those tender emerald eyes of his pierced his heart, the light caresses on his cheek couldn't subdue his tears away._

" _Rivaille… I give my everything into your hands, therefore Rivaille, this is my request to you." His lover brushed the blood on the corner of the boy's mouth while Eren spoke slowly._

" _Continue my execution." All of them who heard him gasped. Rivaille buried his face in Eren's chest, sniffling while his palm cradling Eren's head with trembling hand. The boy muffled a soft chuckle at him._

" _At least you are by my side during my death. I'll have to die anyway. I couldn't bear the sight of you dying before my eyes… please…" Eren bit his lips._

" _Eren…" he stopped when Eren shook his head._

" _We both know it's not gonna work. You've lost so much blood… You've caused a treason… They'll catch you sooner or later and will have your head… Even if I live on, I won't be happy… Don't you think that will be fair on my side? I love you, Corporal… before you did it, can you do the usual for the last time?" Eren brushed his thumb across his cheekbone, eyeing his lover tenderly. He let Rivaille supported his weight once he bent down to kiss his forehead, nose, cheek and whispered before he reached his lips._

" _I'll give you my heart, my soul, my everything, and so we'll never be apart." Eren chuckled, feeling ticklish by the warm breath ghosting his cheek. He closed his eyes when Rivaille pressed his lips tenderly, feeling himself blackened out after the blade sliced his nape, taking his life off. Rivaille choked a sob, cradling the boy in his arms. The sight of blood dripping down his mouth, hand, and arm made him feel nauseous._

" _I'm sorry, Eren. I'm so sorry." He whispered with a cracked voice, watching the boy's sleeping face. He gave a huff of laughter while laying Eren down on the grass, taking the blade he previously use to kill his husband._

" _We'll meet again in the other world." he said before sliced his own throat. He caught himself fell on top of him, resting his arm around the boy, securing him just like they used to when sleeping together. After all that's happened, his body grew tired with lots of energy, at least he could rest beside Eren. He closed his eyes, once feeling himself able to rest in peace. He could faintly hear lots of cries and shouts, Pastor Nick went on his knees, he couldn't believe the old man was crying at their death. The last thing he heard were Irvin and Hanji shouting their names with a quivering voice._

* * *

Eren shook his head, sobbing uncontrollably at the story. He eyed the French man who had his legs up to his chest, burying his face in his arms so he couldn't see his expression at the end of the storytelling. He couldn't believe what he heard was really true, he couldn't believe it was how their past life ended.

"Why? Why didn't you let someone help you?" Eren rose his hands, shaking Rivaille of the arms to urge him to look into his eyes.

"I couldn't bear living without you, besides I barely able to move myself. I've lost so much blood. I was only forcing myself to keep fighting so that I could bring you into the matrimony. I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I had killed you in my arms… These hands had been tainted with lots of your blood that time. Even if it was you who requested to die first, I…" He pressed his palms on his face as his tears flowing out his eyes without his own will. Eren shook his head again for the numerous time, wrapping his arms around him to try to soothe him. He felt like his heart being ripped apart after listening to their story ending, making his emotions overwhelmingly shattered to pieces.

"I'm sorry you had to remember them again. It's my fault, I shouldn't have forced you." Eren muttered, sniffling against his shoulder, rocking the man slowly.

"You need to know about it someday, I just… I was afraid that we'll end up being separated again after I told you about it." Eren pulled away to look at Rivaille in the eyes. They gazed at each other for a moment before crashing their lips into each other hungrily. Muffled voices came out between their mouths, both yearning for more contact.

"Rivaille… continue your draft…" Eren breathed once they broke apart. Rivaille frowned at the demand.

"I want to remember, make me remember everything. I may have lost my own past life because of that accident, but now I want to gain it back. You have to keep your promise when you said that you are going to help me remember my past memories if I forget them." Eren pleaded, eyes turned stern into the man's eyes who was doubtful.

"I'll support you to keep going; I'll listen to you when you're feeling down. You have to continue and finish your book." Eren hugged him again, shuddering by the will to cry in agony. Nothing matters if he could bring the man he love to keep going and to move forward. What happened in the past was painful, but at least they had found each other again. What matters now was that they won't be apart anymore. Eren's lips turned into a smile, feeling glad when Rivaille finally returned their embrace.

"Rivaille…" Eren muffled in the kiss, leaning into those warm lips of his. Rivaille pulled away abruptly, Eren panted, surprised by the sudden push.

"Do you even know what you are asking me?"

"Yes, Rivaille. Let me be your first reader, let me share the burden you are carrying…" Eren brushed his own tears with his palm. The man suddenly pulled him into a tight embraced, he was crushed down into Rivaille's body.

"I will try… I will…" He smashed their lips together again, stifling at the pressure. The time Eren moaned against his mouth, Rivaille scooped him up, earning a yelp of surprised when the boy was lifted high in the air. The brunet couldn't help but laughed once he was being tossed to the bed quiet roughly, circling his arms around Rivaille's neck, eyeing the man hovering on top of him. Eren gave a shy smile, expecting him to actually do what he was thinking until Rivaille let out a soft sigh. He fidgeted a little when Rivaille actually sniffing his scent.

"I'm happy that I got to hear it, I'm glad you finally share your burden to me. That made me want to hear more of them." Rivaille kissed his jaw, moving down to his Adam apple, sucking on the lump there with Eren chuckled at the ticklish sensation.

"Rivaille… Irvin won't be back until later, isn't he?" He whispered, looking at the opened door of his boyfriend's room. The thought of Irvin coming in with them wrestled in bed, sweaty and panting while his legs opened wide underneath Rivaille was pretty delicious. Eren moaned inwardly, licking his lips at his own imagination. His tutor lifted his head up to stare at him, frowning at the question.

"He won't be back until a few days later. He needed to go back to France." Eren blinked at him, puzzlement pasted on his face. Sitting up with his elbow supporting his weight, he eyed Rivaille who was now sitting on the bed with head down.

"What's wrong? Is there something you are not telling me?" Eren asked with quivering tone.

"Eren… You do know that I need to go back to France someday, right?." Eren went silent, trying to get the information into his mind.

"Eren, listen." Rivaille stared down at the boy, watching as Eren layed back down on the bed with arm shielding his eyes.

"No… I understand, you need to finish your study. When are you leaving?" Rivaille grabbed his wrist, trying to stop him from shielding his eyes. The younger of the two exhaled softly, hesitated at first but then decided to pull his arm away from his face.

"Not so soon… I'm here for about three months, just one more month and I'll finish with my internship. Eren, I'm not leaving you. I just need to take care some things and I'll be back as soon as I can… I promise." Rivaille said and kissed the tip of his fingers. Eren's tears glistening his beautiful eyes of his that Rivaille bend down to kiss his eyelid. Eren took his hand, curling it with his own before smiling up at the man.

"I won't allow you to move away without doing anything with your draft. I'll chase after you if I need to." Eren muttered, trying to sound as cheerful as he could. Rivaille kissed the corner of his mouth before pulling away, smirking at him.

"My draft or you?" Eren's face flushed at the question, he grunted when Rivaille moved to his neck, licking him there. Eren inhaled sharply at the contact of his wet tongue swept across his neck.

"Me first." Eren mumbled, circling his arms around his boyfriend's neck, whimpered as he was marked there. Eren sighed happily when the man's hand went under his shirt to pull it off above his head. The teen couldn't suppress his laughed when Rivaille's fingers tickled his skin which turned feverish by the teasing touches.

"I love you." Rivaille whispered right after he threw Eren's shirt on the floor. Eren nodded, rubbing his palm against Rivaille's arm.

"I love you too…" He whispered just before Rivaille tugged on the waistband of his pants. His face went into a deeper shade of crimson after the raven pulled it down completely, leaving him exposed beneath him. Eren shifted at the gaze of his soon to be lover, looking to his side to hide his burning face. The room was dark, but with enough light bulb from the outside of the veranda and the moonlight went over the windows. He did his best not to close his leg as Rivaille's eyes swiftly went down to check his crotch. He jolted as Rivaille kissed him on his chest, feeling ticklish when those warm lips moving to lightly nip at one of his nipples. Eren gasped, hands unconsciously flew to Rivaille's hair just so he could hold on to something. He couldn't suppress his surprised tone once the tongue flicked on his nipple, earning a chuckle from Rivaille in return. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand, feeling embarrassed by his own voice.

"Put that hand away, I want to hear you moan." Rivaille muttered, warm breaths tingling his warm skin. Eren wasn't sure what to reply, but he pulled his hand away. Rivaille drew back only to pull his shirt off above his head. He looked down with a smirk gracing his lips the time Eren's eyes licking him up and down, taking in the figure before his eyes in awe. Those eyes slowly looked down to his crotch as soon as he pulled his zipper down, pushing his pants along with his underwear slowly, enjoying the sight of his lover's curious look. That innocent face of his made him wants to see another part of lewd Eren as he shouts and writhing beneath him. Rivaille grunted at his own thought. As soon as he was done with his clothing, Rivaille leaned against his chest.

"Enjoy what you're seeing?" Rivaille chuckled when Eren's widened his eyes, those shyness went back to his face. He tousled his brown locks tenderly, pressing his ear to his chest. He closed his eyes upon listening to his heartbeat, feeling calmness wafting inside him. Eren was alive, he was healthy, he was happy, he was back in his arms. Rivaille couldn't be more than happy by the fact his lover was back in his hold in this peaceful worlds.

Eren moaned at the ticklish sensation of Rivaille's fingertips brushing all over his body. Those soft teasing touches made his skin burns with pleasures. The moment their tongue clashed against each other, Eren felt like melting in his arms. The teen's hand twitched as Rivaille's tongue went deeper inside of him, swiping his tongue across his before drawing back and repeat the action. Eren shivered when he felt the hardness between his legs. He shifted a bit so that he could get some friction, sucked in his breath the time Rivaille pressed against him with some force. Both of them moaned, breathing mingled with their hips grind against each other. Rivaille looked down before taking a hold of their cocks together, making the brunet mewling at the playful touches, spreading their pre-cum across their foreskin. The wet sounds slapping against each other made the boy blush furiously, biting his lips at the wetness causing delicious frictions across his member. Rivaille pulled away slightly, making the brunet giving him a questioning look. As Rivaille moved over to his nightstand and rummaging something inside the drawer, Eren's eyes widened when he saw a tube he hold as soon as he returned to him.

"How come you're prepared?" Rivaille snorted at the question, uncapped the bottle and spilled generous amounts in his fingers.

"I'm a guy, Eren. You wouldn't believe how much I'm thinking about you during those nights. What? You've never touched yourself before? Surely, you are not as innocent as you look, am I right?" The remark made Eren blush, remembering the time he touched himself under the blankets in the morning after his wet dream, and other naughty imaginations about his teacher. Rivaille leaned down to him with an earnest look on his face. The man had nudged his legs much further apart, pulling his waist up a bit. He gasped when he felt the cold wetness of his fingers slowly went inside of him, mewling after one another uncomfortable intrusion. He shifted a bit at the hand scissoring him slowly, stuttering at the weird feeling.

"Nggh Rivaille…" Eren bit his lip as Rivaille wiggled his fingers around, searching for something within him. The brunet yelped once Rivaille inserted the last of the three fingers deeper inside, accidentally brushed over his prostate.

"Ri-Rivaille…" Eren breathed heavily, eyes clouded with pleasure. He hissed with the way those fingers lightly brushed against him. Rivaille slowly pulled his fingers out, earning a whimper from the teen.

"You can shout if you want to, tell me if it hurt too much." Rivaille said while coated his length with the lube, panted after he adjusted Eren beneath him, propping him up to his hips while pressing the tip of his member against the puckered entrance. He pushed in once Eren nodded, grunting as his tip went inside him, feeling himself being sucked in. Eren unconsciously nailed on his back when he started feeling himself being split up the time Rivaille pushed deeper.

"Ri-vaille… hurts…" Gasping for breath, Eren hissed out. He brushed his fringe which damped against his forehead awkwardly. Rivaille licked the tears away from on his face, his body shuddered with needs to ram inside, but he knew he couldn't. The sight before him reminded the man that it was his first time, no matter how many memories of their past lives, he won't be able to forget Eren's expression during his first time. He showered him with tender kisses, fingers wrapped around Eren's length, stroking it vigorously, smiling softly once the boy started to mewl in pleasure by the minutes.

"Eren, I love you, Eren…" His tutor whispered, pushing in slowly. He was glad that Eren seemed to lose in both proceed to ease his pain as he went deeper, listening to his moans and gasps. He growled once he was fully inside him, pressing their foreheads together.

"How do you feel?" Rivaille breathed, hand brushing away his sweaty bangs from Eren's dampened forehead. Eren fluttered his eyes opened, lips curling up while he tried to breathe evenly. The sight before his eyes was breathtaking that he had to hold himself back from the overpowering thought to pound on the boy hard and fast. Rivaille brushed the track of wetness on his cheek with his thumb, kissing his cheekbone to comfort him.

"Not bad…" Eren replied, circling his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. The moans leaked out between their lips as Rivaille started to move slowly. Eren twitched when the man rammed inside him with more force, stuttering at the pain mixed with pleasure. Eren was sure that he didn't like the pain at first, but feeling Rivaille pounded inside him was making him jelly. He bit his lips, blushing furiously after realizing that the pain was actually made him excited. Breathes quickened as their pace starting to get frantic, voices of pleasures filling in the opened room. Eren sharply gasped, the tip of his length shot against that nub within him, howling when Rivaille aimed that spot again for the second time.

"Ahh… AAH! Rivaille…!" Rivaille moaned hearing his name spelled out from Eren, he could feel his dick twitched inside those clenched walls.

"Eren, say my name again…"

"Rivaille…" He chanted his name as requested, writhing with needs beneath him. His saliva dripping down his mouth as he gazed up to Rivaille with half opened eyes, pleasures spreading up and down his body in an odd way. He didn't know this could feel so good, overwhelmingly taken over his emotions. It was multiple times much better than he imagined. He was sure he wouldn't last any longer by the way his lover aiming to his pleasure spots several times.

"I'm close…" Eren quivered, his saliva dripping down on the corner of his mouth after he licked his dry lips. Rivaille licked his darting tongue, tugging on it as he groaned in contentment. He latched their hands together when he was nearing his peak. The time Rivaille's other hand pumping on his cock several times, Eren jerked his mouth away to moan Rivaille's name loudly, his body jolting as he came hard on his lover's hand. Rivaille groaned after his hand coated by Eren's sticky cum, thrusting a few times and spilled his seed inside him to the brim. His hips twitched as he shuddered, smiled up while listening Eren's chanting 'I love you' several times with closed eyes, obviously enjoying the high of their lovemaking.

"How do you feel?" Rivaille mumbled after a few minutes catching his breaths. Eren whimpered when his lover pulled out from him, panting slightly.

"Its… I don't know how to say it… too much… too good… too…" Eren paused, blinking at the words he's trying to say. Rivaille chuckled, pecked on his lips before cuddling up to him.

"Never been better?" he whispered, eyeing the boy he loved even more. He looked cute with that red face of him. Rivaille draped his comforter around them, both not wanting to let the coldness seeping in between. Eren smiled while circling his arms around his body, kissing his sweaty forehead. Rivaille returned the gesture, he was about to kiss his nose before Eren stopped him.

"Let's not do it again… Four promises was probably the one that made us separated…" Eyes widening, Rivaille couldn't form a single sound from his mouth for a moment.

"Why do you think that?"

"You do know that four is a bad luck number, its written death. Trust me, believe it or not. Let's not hold onto the past… What do you think?" Rivaille pressed his forehead against Eren, staring right into those gleaming emeralds of his.

"You actually believe in that? Shall we make it five then?" Eren closed his eyes and nodded.

"Yes, what do you suggest?" Rivaille thought for a moment, fingers lightly brushed over his brown locks.

"I'll give you myself" He kissed his forehead.

"…heart and soul" and down to his nose.

"…for you're my everything" cheek.

"…I won't let you go" He kissed his lips while pulling up Eren's left hand.

"…from now and forever." The boy flushed brightly when Rivaille kissed his ring finger. He didn't wear anything at the moment, but the man made it as if he'd been marked with a prestigious gold ring.

"Rivaille… You sound possessive." Eren whispered, he didn't know whether he should feel happy or embarrassed by the vow.

"Crap, I want to embrace you again." Rivaille muttered right after he saw the look on his long-lost lover.

"I love you." Eren muttered just before their lips met again. The boy couldn't hold himself to not to howl during the second penetration, like a habit he used to do as his lover filled him in. Rivaille groaned after listening to the melodic pleasures Eren spilled out his mouth. Together they hold onto each other, satisfying their needs after thousands of years apart.

* * *

Eren blinked drowsily, wondering about his surroundings for a moment until his eyes focused on the man sleeping soundly beside him. His face flushed deeply as he recalled the last night event. He cupped his mouth in embarrassment, shifting slightly on the bed in the process. The movement brought his tutor stirred up.

"You're early." Rivaille muttered, rubbing his sleepiness away with his finger.

"It's Monday by the way." Eren replied. Rivaille sighed and circled his arm around Eren's waist, bringing him closer to his body. The lightness which was surrounding them made it obvious about their previous activities. His eyes were able to spot some marks on Rivaille's shoulder, Eren was probably getting more of it himself. Rivaille opened his eyes, realizing that they were both naked.

"Oh…" He mumbled, recalling their heated night. He pressed his lip on Eren's forehead before pressing their bodies together. Eren grunted by the sudden force.

"Rivaille… We should get ready."

"No, you should stay at home and rest. I'll get ready." Rivaille ordered. Eren's question was answered as soon as he tried to sit up straight. He flinched at the pain shoot through his back, wincing slightly at the cramp. Rivaille tousled his brown locks affectionately before getting off the bed.

"Shall I drive you home or you'd rather stay here for the day?" Eren grunted as he slumped back to the bed. He looked down when he realized that his eyes were staring at Rivaille's naked body, feeling embarrassed.

"I guess I'll just go home. I mean, I… didn't even call home last night." He winced at the image of his frantic sister baring her fangs as soon as he got home.

"If you say so." After Rivaille finished bathing, he brought the wet towel to help his lover cleaned up before cleaning his room as quickly as he could. He managed to make it tidier by a few minutes, much to Eren's amazement. They eat breakfast in his room before Rivaille drove to Eren's house.

The younger of the two couldn't be any more glad that his sister had gone off to school earlier, probably got her council meeting. His father wasn't his concern since he'd gone by dawn. He couldn't stop his excitement after Rivaille insisted to carry him like a bride, shrieking when Rivaille almost toppled during their way up the stairs to his room.

"Rivaille, I swear if you drop me…"

"Keep still or I'll drop you for sure." Rivaille huffed once he finally reached to the front of Eren's room. Eren sighed in relief once the man put him down gently on his bed.

"That was dangerous…" Eren hissed the time Rivaille flicked his forehead.

"I'll get going now, be a good boy and rest." He brushed his lips against him and turned to leave. Eren waved at him.

"Tell Armin that I'm sick so he can copy some note for me." Rivaille waved the back of his hand, letting him know that he heard him.

Eren slowly crawled up to his windowsill, watching the front of his house. A few seconds later, he saw Rivaille walked out the house and get into the car. Eren pressed his palm against the glass pane, smiling tenderly as the car drove away. He was sure he'd be fine as the day past, the pain wasn't as bad as he thought, but he wouldn't want to make his lover worried.

Lover. His lips curved up at the word.

"Nice word." He muttered to himself, cheeks flaring at the thought of Rivaille's hands all over his body.

* * *

Armin raised his head at the ruckus in front of his classroom. He eyed his friend who was walking in slowly with a crutch; Jean was following behind him with concerned all over his face. The blonde watched closely when Marco being surrounded by their friends, asking him what happened.

"Marco, shouldn't you be staying at home? Don't force yourself…" Connie said after Marco had settled on his seat.

"They'll have a briefing for the upcoming exams, I have to attend." The boy chuckled at the unbelievable answer.

"You're just getting bored at home, Marco." Jean scolded him, their friends laughed at their banter.

Armin looked down from the scene before his eyes.

Jean. Helping Marco. Supporting his weight when he needed him. Feeding him apples in the hospital during Armin's visit yesterday, together with Sasha and Connie. All images swarming into his mind. His heart felt a pang of jealousy; he needed someone to talk to. The time Rivaille announced that Eren was sick, he decided to let his problems sank deep within his heart. Maybe it was a good thing that Eren wasn't there. The brunet had told him after all, that no matter what, Jean won't look at him. He bit his lips, blinking back his tears; he didn't want Eren to think him as pathetic.

How he wished he could pretend to be sick today.

_**TBC** _

_**Just want to tell you, the first part of this chp made me want to just cry with lots of sorrys from my mouth for both Rivaille and Eren =3= I make up for Eren's first time. Omg XD** _

**__**

**_**_Oh if I shared a link in here and you can’t open it, you_** can check my Deviantart, AsakuraHannahDA. RiRen made me stay active in DA only because I want to draw both of them XD_ **


	17. Letting Go

 

**Overwhelming Emotions**

**Genre:** Drama Romance | AU | Reincarnation

**Rating:** M

**Pairing: (mainly)** Rivaille x Eren

**_Summary:_** Being woven in his dreams and memories, Rivaille was at a loss. The second encounter with a certain boy made it even much worse than he thought it would be, especially when the boy is reaching his hands out to him again.

**Disclaimer:**

I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. [©AsakuraHannah](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/17/Overwhelming-Emotions)

**A/N:** For _aphin123_ who wants the 'infirmary scene', here it comes XD This chp is mostly about Armin. Adult content in this chp. I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes in this chp.

**_Chapter 17 : Letting Go_ **

Eren stared at the PC screen blankly; the words before his eyes were jumbling around, making him dizzy with the black letters. He groaned and pressed his head on the desk, earning a few glances from his friends nearby. He jolted in surprise when a hand slapped the back of his head, Eren gave a sheepish grin at his teacher who was obviously annoyed. The man's frowned went deeper after he caught the look on his secret lover's eyes.

"Sit up straight, Jaeger. Finish your test properly." Rivaille pursed his lips.

"Yes, _Sensei_ …" Eren muttered, and adjusted his headphone as he sat back up. He lightly brushed his hands against him just as he strode away. His teacher shot him a look at the soft touch and he quickly averted his gaze back to the screen. They were in the middle of the class where they were having a mock test for their English. It's been a few days ever since they were in the same bed, the brunet couldn't help but wanting the man more and more. He got to stop himself before he made it too obvious in front of his friends. Rivaille did his usual stoic expression and act stern towards him while they were in classes. Eren needed to make sure that he was also acting a bit scared to his lover, after all, other students were never dare to approach him as much as he was.

The bell rang after a few minutes and the class groaned in relieved. Hannes told the students to save their work to the network PC, print their paragraph and collect them to the front before they went home. Rivaille followed after Hannes out the classroom, asking him a few things that the students barely able to catch as they walked outside. The man seemed engrossed in the paper he was holding while he followed Hannes, Eren noticed after putting the headphone back to its place. He sighed over his listening and speaking sections of the test, he wondered if he'd done good enough for the upcoming exams. He was surprised when his closest friends suddenly leaning over to him, dragged him to the back of the class as soon as the class was almost empty and started to bombard him with questions.

"Eren, we can't believe that you've been wanting for Rivaille to punish you." Connie confronted in a whisper, making the brunet's face flush brightly.

"W-What?" he spluttered. Reiner and Bertholdt whistled at Eren's crimson face.

"You're acting so loose in front of him nowadays, that's why." Sasha pointed out. Eren mutely looked aside.

"Do you actually want him to give you a detention so that you could hit on him?" Reiner finally asked the question that's been bugging his mind.

"Are you some kind of a masochist?" Bertholdt suggested. Eren shot him a look, his mouth went dry at the last remark. He cleared his throat in embarrassment for the fact that wasn't exactly wrong. Eren took a deep breath to calm his nerve down.

"That's not it… I was just…" Eren tried to find a word, he eyed Jean for help, after all he was the only one who knew that he was 'dating' the teacher other than Armin and Mikasa. He hated that Jean was enjoying this instead. He wished Armin was here with him, he went out the class in a hurry, much to his dismay. Mikasa was nowhere near him since she had left the classroom with Annie. She was still mad at him for not telling her that he wasn't going home on the other day. She ended up staying up all night while trying to contact him via his mobile, sending him messages numerous times. He couldn't form a single word the time she went into his room after school and found him sleeping peacefully. She had slapped him awake enough to leave marks, earning a big applause from his friends in class on the next day. It's been two days and she still hadn't formed single words to him. Eren groaned inwardly at the thought. No, she wasn't mad because he was sleeping with Rivaille, but because he didn't give her any notice about him staying over. He knew he shouldn't make her worry like that; he's the only family she had after all, aside from his father.

"Oh come on, Jaeger, we all know that you are pretty obvious." Jean grinned widely, enjoying the glare he received.

"Jean, let's not press him even further." Marco chuckled, noticing how uneasiness Eren was.

"Are you guys done?" All of them jumped at the familiar sounds from the entrance of the classroom. Rivaille raised his eyebrow at the sight of his lover being cornered. He crossed his arms, glowering at the students dangerously.

"If you are bullying him… I swear-"

"No, no, that's not it." Connie quickly waved his hands frantically.

"It's not like that, _Sensei_." Reiner laughed nervously.

"Then, leave." Rivaille nodded at the back door of the class. All of them quietly walked out as soon as they gathered their bags, Jean helped Marco with his things while he walked out with his crutch. Eren sighed in relief when Jean closed the door, pitying them for being accused as a bully. Their eyes met for a second until Rivaille spoke up.

"I thought I warned you not to make it too obvious… What did they do?" Rivaille scoffed while slamming the front door shut.

"I'm sorry… They were just asking questions about us, nothing to worry about. They're my close friends." He scratched his cheek with his forefinger nervously. He couldn't help it since he was starting to get sexually frustrated after their first night; he wanted more of his touches. Rivaille was gathering the papers on the teacher's desk when Eren approached him.

"By the way, I noticed that you were running after Hannes a while ago. Did you know him close, by any chance?" He tried changing the subject and was glad that it worked.

"Do you know that he wrote awesome books? The latest was translated into 42 languages."

"Yes…"

"He was the one who made me want to take literature courses, aside from Hanji telling me to write a book. The first time I read his book, I was fascinated by the way he wrote. I loved to drown myself in stories after that. I tried to learn much from him ever since I came here the time I started my internship."

"Oh yes, now that you mentioned it again, I thought your university is here, at first …" Rivaille threw him a surprise look.

"I haven't told you? My university allowed overseas internship. Irvin got so many connections; I admire the way Hannes wrote his books, so I'm curious if I'm able to learn something from him. That's why I'm here. I keep sending my internship reports to Professor Pixis via e-mail to France. Hanji had moved here a few years ago to teach Science, she knew about Hannes since he is teaching here. Irvin was just getting a job as a teacher since he said he wanted to ease up a bit from his usual load of works. Well, everything he does always bring him success, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd suddenly promoted to become a principal. Though he had been back and forth to France to know how I'm doing with my studies. That's why Irvin suggested for me to have my internship here so that I could meet Hannes. That way I can also learn as much as I can from the man."

Eren couldn't believe about how their fate had brought him. The look on his lover's eyes made Rivaille confuse.

"Hannes is my godfather, if you must know. So… I guess that's how everything related?" Rivaille opened his mouth in awe.

"It's all lead to you…" Rivaille whispered, the boy's smile turned into a big amusement grin. Rivaille didn't think about anything else anymore the moment he pulled his boy into his arms, kissing him lovingly. Their fate was pretty strange; they're drawn into each other unintended. Eren smiled in between their kisses, wrapping his hands around Rivaille, welcoming the feeling of their lips connected into each other after several days separated.

"I couldn't believe that we're so close but actually so far away before." Rivaille muttered after he pulled away. The green-eyed boy chuckled, smiling shyly before pressing his forehead on Rivaille's shoulder.

"I had a dream of you last night, you are being sweet in that dream…" Rivaille pushed his lover off of him to make him look in the eyes.

"How sweet was it?" He gave a teasing smirk while Eren clasped their hands together as he stumbled back to the front desk. He jumped back to sit on the desk, pushing the monitor to make space for himself as Rivaille wrapped his arms around him, kissing his neck hungrily.

"Very sweet that I got a tent in my pajama pants when I woke up. In that dream, you poured a caramel substance on my naked torso, licking me clean. I can tell it was from the past memories because of the surroundings." Eren whispered, moaning softly as Rivaille licked the underside of his jaw.

"It was during our monthly anniversary, you messed up the kitchen while trying to bake a cake, and I decided to punish you." Rivaille muttered, showering the boy's face with kisses. Eren sighed as he leaned to catch his mouth with him again. He liked it when their mouth connected together, making him wanting more to be in the man's arms. He was disappointed that Rivaille drew back, avoiding it intentionally.

"Rivaille…" The nag started.

"We're in class, idiot. We can't do it here…" Eren growled frustratingly.

"Doesn't matter, no one will come. We had finished our last lesson. Most of the _extracurricular_ were outside the buildings." Rivaille sighed at him. Eren threw him a hurt look upon seeing him strode to the door. He was surprised when Rivaille switched the light off instead and walked back to him. Both gazed at each other in the dark, a hand landed on the boy's crotch, making him gasp after feeling Rivaille squeezed him hard through the fabric. The sounds of zippers being pulled down made Eren groan. Those cold fingers tugging out his cock, earning a soft moan from the brunet. Eren gripped the edge of the desk while spreading his legs wider for Rivaille to have a better access. Feeling Rivaille pressed his cock against his own, Eren whimpered. He ground his lower lip to prevent any sounds coming as the man grind their cock together, brushing them up and down to cause delicious frictions. Eren quickly bent down to seal his lips with Rivaille's, drank on each moans, tongues collided around each other. The man's hands working faster while Eren's hands were everywhere on Rivaille's body.

"Ah, Rivaille…" Eren muttered the time he felt Rivaille played at the tip of his cock; he was so wet with their pre-cum mixing up together. Rivaille was nibbling on his earlobe playfully, earning a grunt from Eren as he jerked slightly.

"Uhhm I can't believe this…" Rivaille panted as he moved his hips faster while cupping both their dicks harder, stroking it vigorously. The wetness made it slid deliciously.

"I'm close…" Eren gasps, a slight jolt made the desk scraped loudly on the tile floor.

"Eren!" He hissed at the sound.

"I can't help i- Rivaille!" He gasped pretty loud when his lover tugged on his cock hard, cumming into his hands. He quickly brought his own hands to cup the tip of his cock to prevent it from spraying his seed everywhere. He muttered those three words as he shuddered, closing his eyes in enjoyment. Rivaille moaned at the sight of his lover coming by the work of his hands, he came shortly after that, whispering Eren's name in the middle of his high. Their lips meet like a habit, tenderly savoring each other.

"Shit…" Rivaille cursed after he gathered his thoughts, pulling out a _handkerchief_ out of his pants pocket. He wiped his hand with it as clean as possible to remove any evidence. He let Eren borrowed it for cleaning his own mess, grimacing after he got it back. He carefully folded the handkerchief neatly, making sure the dirty side in the inside and tucked it back into his pocket.

"You are insane enough to make me do it in the classroom…" He tucked his dick back into his pants, flushing at the thought.

"You make me want more…" Eren whined while pulling up his zipper. Rivaille rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me fuck you in here…" Eren groaned at the thought of himself being pinned down to the desk with his teacher frantically shoving up within him.

"Please do." Eren whispered, enjoying his own fantasy. He laughed when Rivaille punched him on his chest. He wrapped his arms around the man, feeling happy that he got to cuddle up with him again. Rivaille sighed softly, he felt his heart fluttered at the childish behavior coming from his lover. Despite his tall figure, he was still fifteen after all… his hand twitched at the realization that Eren was underage. Rivaille face palm at the thought inwardly. What's done is done. He'll take responsibility for this. He patted Eren's head tenderly with a thin smile gracing his lips.

They both jumped when the classroom door suddenly banged open, Eren almost toppled off the desk after Rivaille pushed him off. Both of them looked at the entrance and saw Armin running into the room out of breath. The corridor light which illuminated from the outside of the doorway surprised Eren's at the sight of tears on his cheeks. The blonde was surprised as his eyes perceived people in the dark classroom, eyes softened in relief after he recognized his best friend.

"E-Eren… What are you doing here?" he rasped as he stumbled on his steps. Eren flushed at the question, he quickly jumped off the desk and walked over to switch the light on. Hopefully Armin wouldn't try to smell anything strange after their previous activity.

"Armin, what happened?" Eren turned to his when he heard the blond sniffed as he tried to maintain his hiccup.

"Rivaille-san…" His blue eyes stared the man in surprised as soon as the light was on. He quickly wiped his tears away from his cheek, obviously embarrassed being seen vulnerable in front of any other guy aside his friend.

"I can leave if you need to talk to him." Rivaille pointed.

"No, it's alright… I…" Armin paused for a moment, making Eren and Rivaille look at each other in confusion.

"I need some advice…" He finished his sentence, giving both of them a firm looks.

* * *

Eren gazed at his friend while Armin sat down on the front desk, head lulling down nervously. Rivaille was just standing in front of them with his usual stoic expression, leaning against the teacher's desk.

"So… what happened?" Eren asked when the blonde obviously not starting anything. Armin curled his fingers together, fisting them until his fingertips turned white.

"I've been meaning to tell you this… I saw the scene before my eyes in my hospital visit on the other day… I also saw Marco and Jean a lot at school… I don't know how I am supposed to feel anymore… seeing Jean looked so scared of losing Marco… watching them helping each other… It saddened me to see them being so close like that." Eren stiffened at the last sentence while Rivaille looked astonished.

"Armin… Why did you not tell me sooner?"

"I don't know what to feel anymore, Eren. I… You wouldn't believe what I'm thinking today when I saw Marco's arm around Jean's shoulder for support. If… I was in Marco's place, half dead, maybe Jean will notice me?"

"Armin! That's not the right thing to think!" Eren shrieked.

"I know! But I can't help it! I know I shouldn't be thinking about this but…" Armin ran his hands into his head, making a small mess of his hair.

"You have to let it out, tell him what you really feel. Seriously, I believe you are smarter than this." Rivaille muttered, ignoring Armin's glare.

"I can't."

"No, you can. Just let it out, he needs to know, and you need to let go."

"Rivaille…" Rivaille raised his hand at Eren, he didn't need interference.

"Whatever answer he'll give you, it won't matter anymore after you spilled it out. It'll feel better and the time will cease your pain slowly, Arlelt. Believe me, letting him know is better than nothing at all." Armin stayed silent, looking down from Rivaille's gaze.

"The faster you do it, the better. Procrastinating won't do any good." Rivaille ended the conversation, urging Eren to follow him outside the room. Armin didn't say anything to stop them from leaving.

"Rivaille, wait, aren't you a bit too harsh on him?" Eren said as soon as he closed the door.

"Someone had to tell him. What he feels is getting worse. Keeping it inside won't do him any good, Eren. I don't even know why he keeps on thinking about Jean while it's obviously futile. But well… He's always been a hard-headed one when it comes to his aim."

"But…" Rivaille sighed and put his hand on Eren's shoulder.

"We'll see what'll happen, Arlelt is smart, but he was not in the right state to think clearly right now. I was just trying to help, okay. Just leave him alone for now." Eren looked back to the door, giving it a sad look before following Rivaille outside the building.

* * *

Eren cupped his mouth, trying not to laugh too loud after seeing Jean appeared with bruise marks on his eye and cheek.

"What happened, Jean? Your eye… That hand mark on your cheek." Eren laughed at him mercilessly.

"Shut up!" He slammed his fist on the teacher's table he walked passed by.

"Who did that to you?" Eren grinned cheekily, eyes never leaving his face. He was hoping that it was Armin, but… The answer made his laughter stop.

"My Dad…" Eren bit his lip, feeling regret for making a joke of it.

"Why?" He watched as Jean put his bag on the desk, brushing his hand over his hair with a loud sighed. They were supposed to do the cleaning duty in the morning, but seeing he was just arrived and Eren had finished sweeping the floor, he'd relax for a bit. Jean eyed him for a moment, he couldn't believe that he was talking about this to Eren. After Eren's father saved Marco, he couldn't thank the man enough; he might as well be a little nicer to Eren. The boy might be a jerk sometimes, but he knew how much Eren cared for his friends.

"The reason is… I payed for Marco's hospital bills with my Dad's credit card. I know Marco couldn't afford them at the moment. I was just trying to help… I was so stupid for not thinking about any other reason just to make my Dad give me money…" Eren shoot him a surprised look.

"I also explained the reason why I used it. I told him that I'm gay, he didn't take it very well. What can I do? The only heir of Kirschtein is gay, while I'm supposed to marry some hot chick who wants my father's money." Jean chuckled darkly. Eren shifted his eyes to the entrance of the classroom uncomfortably. The story seemed a bit familiar with someone… Even if Rivaille's reason was because he kept on remembering his past life and blurting them out to his parents… Eren sighed inwardly.

"Where's Marco today? Ever since this Monday, he would come together with you to school."

"I went here with a motorcycle today… Dad won't let anyone use the limousine anymore. I picked Marco up every morning with the limousine so that he won't have much trouble with his leg. Maybe I was also at fault because I kind of forcing him. Marco only smiled at my help, but I'm not sure if he really appreciates it. He told me to go by my own for now. Crap, just when it's about time for us to have exams, things like this happens. I hope it won't put pressure to our minds."

"I'm sure he appreciates you. Just give him time." Eren muttered, giving him a soothing smile. The smile he got from him was unexpected, the brunet seemed different than usual. Jean nervously looked down from those enticing eyes of his. Somehow Eren seemed calmer from his usual temper. Jean brushed his nape as he shifted in his seat, wondering the sudden change coming from him. They'd always fight whenever they got the time, bantering each time, but now… Eren was listening to him, something which never happened before. Maybe it was because of Rivaille that he looked much more graceful? Jean blinked and letting out a nervous laugh.

"I can't believe I'm talking like this with you." Eren gave him a teasing look.

"Yea, never had I." Out of nowhere, Rivaille abruptly stepped inside the opened classroom. Both of them looked at him immediately, surprised to see him somehow irritated. The man's eyebrow twitched when he saw the two of them chatting with each other calmly.

"Jaeger, come with me." Eren flinched at the voice, he was stuttering while Rivaille pulled him by the wrist, dragging him outside the room. Jean was staring at them in confusion.

"I wonder if he's jealous…" He muttered to himself and snorted. There's no way in hell he'd date Eren. They were just rivals… and friends. Shaking his head in disbelief, he walked towards the blackboard to clean what Eren left off. A certain blonde walked inside the room and Jean looked at him.

"Jean, what happened to your face?" Armin gaped after he caught the sight of him.

"Family problem…" Jean muttered, shoot him a terse smile. Armin shut his mouth, unsure of what he was supposed to say.

"Don't worry about it, it's my problem to deal with." Jean gave a thumb at him and goes back to his work. Armin mutely walked over to his desk and put his bag down.

"Shall I help you with anything?" Armin voice quivered, a faint crimson painted his cheeks as he strode to his direction after he put his jacket down.

"It's alright, I just finished…" Putting the blackboard eraser down, their eyes met when Jean turned around, patting the dust off his hands. Armin stared at him for a moment; he looked down and bit his lips. He recalled Rivaille's voices which were telling him to spill what's inside his heart yesterday. His palms were starting to get sweaty and his breath quickened in a nervous way.

"…It's Eren who did the rest so… Armin? Are you listening?"

"Jean… I…" Armin raised his head to look up to him, eyes glistened as he dares to stare at him in the eyes. Jean startled, shutting his mouth to let the boy speak. His eyes widened upon catching Armin's intention, his heart dropped when his eyes caught Marco approached the classroom. He knew what was coming. Jean looked down to his feet, clenching his fists with determination.

* * *

"Nggh.. ah, Rivaille… It's… I… AH!" Eren gasped as he jerked, clutching the sheet beneath him. Rivaille licked his nape, giving a low humming sound as his hand covered with a hot-sticky cum. Eren was dragged into the infirmary room right after Rivaille pulled him out of his classroom. He was shoved inside the currently empty infirmary as soon as they arrived and the man locked the door.

Rivaille was jealous, much to Eren's amazement. He was not surprised when Rivaille pushed him to the nearest bed and pulled his pants down from behind. The man didn't even let him layed down on the bed which smelled like medicine, all he could do was hunched his upper body over the bed for support as Rivaille started tugging on his length.

Eren panted slightly after his high, he couldn't help but yelped when Rivaille's fingers slipped into his puckered entrance without warning. He was even more surprised at how those digits were slicked with cold substance, not only with his own cum. He couldn't believe that his lover bringing the lube around. Or maybe he just found it somewhere in the infirmary, he didn't know. Eren's face flushed as he buried his face into the bed, moaning against the sheet on the feeling of being stretched. He remembered the time they were changing their wet clothes in here, he had gawked on Rivaille that time, watching him stripped his clothes near the same bed he layed now.

"You're jealous…?" Eren murmured as he glanced behind him, huffing when those fingers retreating. His legs were still shaking after he came into his lover's hand earlier.

"You are mine." Rivaille whispered, bending down to lick the back of Eren's ear. He was unable to form coherent words the time he felt his lover slid inside him easily. Eren gritted his teeth, fisting the bed sheet at the feeling of being split apart. It's been a while since their first time, it still stung a bit.

"You are becoming more possessive nowadays." Eren gasped for breath, not that he was complaining at the pain. Maybe he was a masochist after all?

"I'll have to leave in a few weeks and I wouldn't want you in someone else's arms. Isn't that obvious?" Eren stiffened.

"Rivaille…" He couldn't form a single words as Rivaille's fingers delved into his mouth. His lover wouldn't risk of others finding them out with Eren's shouts and moans leaking through the door, he knew how loud he could be. Eren gasped and flinched when Rivaile moved faster inside him, tongue playfully licked on Rivaille's digits in the middle of his pleasure.

"Ninnggh haah…" Eren clenched his eyes shut when Rivaille aimed on his sweet nub, biting on his fingers in the process. Rivaille didn't pull away as he gave a low humming sound. Eren's ears turned red at those low grunting sounds from his tutor, the bed sheet had crumpled due to their movements. Rivaille pulled his fingers out of his mouth and sneaked it downward to grasp Eren's length when he felt himself close.

"Ah… AH!"

"Eren!" Rivaille hissed when Eren's voices were getting louder.

"It's too good…" He bit his lips and buried his face into the sheet to prevent him shouting much louder. Eren exhaled sharply when after his lover shot on his prostate hard and fast, twitching on the bed as he came. He fisted the bed sheet with a muffled wailing sound, breathing hard as he finally got what he needed after a few days apart.

"Dammit, Eren… So tight…" Rivaille gasped and thrust a few times after feeling Eren's wall clenching around his dick deliciously, groaning as he reached his peak. He panted after a few minutes listening to Eren's chanting those three words. He sighed and pulled out of him, stepping back to pull his lover up from the bed. They looked at each other; Rivaille couldn't help but smile when he saw Eren blinking in confusion while trying to stand up properly. He ended up standing by the edge of the bed to support him, pulling Rivaille down with him. Rivaille didn't complain and wrapped his arms around him securely. He whispered to him tenderly, kissing him on his forehead.

"I'll give you myself" He went to kiss his nose.

"…heart and soul" Eren giggled like a girl when Rivaille licked his cheek instead.

"…for you're my everything" He playfully brushed their lips together, teasing him with the light touches.

"…I won't let you go" and pulled his hand into his.

"…from now and forever." The boy felt his heart melt as Rivaille's tongue made a wet circle around his ring finger.

"You sure have your own way of being romantic. In the infirmary room?" He yelped when Rivaille bit the finger he just licked.

"Would you rather I did it in the janitor's room?" Eren gapped at the retort. Rivaille snorted at his expression.

"Janitor's room is awesome because it's full of cleaning materials. Oh look, my teeth-mark formed nicely like a ring. That will do for now…" Rivaille smirked at Eren who hissed at him while rubbing his sore finger.

* * *

Both the student and teacher stunned when they reached their classroom. They saw Armin running out the room with tears dripping down his chin. His blue eyes widened when he almost bumped on Marco, luckily he didn't topple him along with his crutch. Marco apparently heard their conversation, whatever it was, Eren had the need to comfort his blonde friend.

"Armin!" Eren quickly pulled his best friend into his hug, peeking inside the class from a small cracked of the opened door. Jean was grimacing as his fists trembled, face contorted in the process of his rejection. He saw Marco giving him some kind of apologetic expression on his face. Eren nodded at him understandingly. Rivaille nudged him on his waist, telling Eren to take Armin away. The blonde was crying his eyes out, which not a good sight for a person who was just rejected him. Eren nodded, showing weakness was not permitted at the moment.

"Come on, Armin." Eren said, pulling the shorter boy with him. The brunet was pushed away as soon as they reached the corner corridor. The taller of the two watched him with pity for a moment while he wiped his tears with his sleeves. He was starting to calm down after a few minutes managing his breaths.

"Sorry…" Armin whispered, feeling pathetic that he had to cry like a girl over rejection.

"No need to say sorry…" Eren muttered, leaning against the advertisement board. Both of them stayed silent, the only sounds coming was from Armin who was sniffling beside him. He was glad that it happened in the very morning, it wasn't at least until half an hour before the students started to fill in the school. They still got time to calm down, mostly Eren since Jean had caused his best friend cried. He knew though, that he couldn't do anything about it, it's not like he could force Jean to love Armin back. This one-sided love was painful, but Eren was much more amazed on how Armin could keep it for so long.

"Are you alright now?" Eren spoke up, looking down at Armin who had been crouching down on the floor. Armin slowly nodded without words; he squirmed on his feet and stood up straight.

"I want to wash my face." Armin replied dryly, letting Eren to follow him to the bathroom. Eren watched him in silent the whole time; he didn't want to say things that might hurt his best friend. Even an insult word directed to Jean could make Armin mad at him. So he let him do what he wanted, giving him support when he needed with just a pat on his back or a simple touch to his hair. He felt like having a little brother in a time like that, while usually it was Eren being treated like one.

Armin raised his head to stare at him in the eyes, giving him a small shy smile. He felt embarrassed that Eren had to see him like that.

"Thanks… I'm alright now, I think…"

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself like you said before?" Armin nodded. Feeling relief, Eren sighed.

"Okay, I'm sure you won't get your eyes puffy if you wash it again."

"It's alright… This will be the last time I cry." Armin resolved, earning a surprised look from Eren. Both of them looked at each other and chuckled.

"Let's go back." Eren said. Armin smiled and followed him closely. He didn't know how he was supposed to react to Jean after this, but he sure it won't hurt to smile at him. They're still friends after all, that's what Jean said to him after he confessed. It was indeed hurt after rejection, but at least now he knew the answer. He needed to let go so he could move forward.

**_TBC_ **

Thank you for the reviews, you guys are lovely. It warms my heart to know that people actually enjoy reading my fic and fangirling along with the stories of my own fantasy of RiRen XD –hugs you all- Three more chps to go if everything went as planned ;D


	18. Trust

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin, but this fanfiction is mine. [©AsakuraHannah](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9488647/17/Overwhelming-Emotions)

 **A/N:** plot plot plot XD nothing NSFW. Pardon for my grammar.

* * *

**_Chapter 18 : Trust_ **

_Eren was breathing heavily at the terror before his eyes. He saw his mother's body was crushed underneath their wrecked house. No matter how much effort he tried to pick up the fallen debris, it just would not move. He was desperate, shouting and crying, his hands were bleeding hard. The sight of a beast walking towards them with heavy steps did not make it any better, the ground shaking by its gigantic feet walking their way. The whole world was swarming before his eyes as he continued screaming on top of his lungs while someone hauling him up to escape. Eren was screaming the time that enormous hand picked up his mother from underneath the debris he desperately tried to lift. He yelled in desperation, the sight of his mother being eaten alive by the monster called Titan was an unbearable sight._

"Eren! Eren!" Green eyes snapped open, gasping for breath with tears fallen from his eyes.

"Let go of me, Mom is-" He stopped when he noticed his surroundings, eyes widening in disbelieved.

"It's a dream, Eren! No need to worry, it's just a dream." Rivaille caressed his brown lock as his arm pulled the boy closer to him. He could feel the boy quivering in his arms while he whispered soothing words to his ears, calming his lover down.

"It's the past, we're safe now. The world is different, there's no Titan nearby. We are in a safe place." Rivaille continued, his brows furrowed when he heard sniffling sound from him. He patted his head as Eren clutched his shirt, kissing his forehead tenderly.

Eren lips curved into a thin smile after he felt those pair lips against his forehead. He closed his eyes to let himself lulled back into a dreamland. He had stayed over for the night when Rivaille told him that the first part of his draft was done. He decided to stay over so that he could read the story little by little. Those memories were slowly coming back to him after he read page by page. He could see clearly in his mind during his transformation into a gigantic beast. He was thrown into a nightmare as soon as he drifted to sleep. Eren couldn't be more than glad that he was with Rivaille in this life, without any Titan tried to devour them. This world was safer with Rivaille by his side. Eren buried his face into his chest like a small child, sighing contently after Rivaille secured him in his arms.

* * *

"What were you dreaming about?" Eren raised his head from his bread to look at his lover who sat across him. He took a big bite, munching his breakfast in silence as his green eyes looked back down to the empty plate. Rivaille was watching him closely, lips hovering on the rim of his cup while waiting patiently for Eren to answer him.

"It's about my mom being devoured by a Titan." Eren finally spoke up after he swallowed his bread. He picked up the nearby cup full of hot chocolate, nervously gulping the steaming liquid down his throat. He shivered at the image of his nightmare, the reminder of those terrors being haunted while they were unable to go outside the walls. He could not believe these nightmares were what Rivaille had been seeing numerous times in his dreams. He was glad that everything was alright now, they were safe and nothing could limit his freedom in this new life. He could go anywhere without fear being eaten alive.

"Were you always dreaming about such things?"

"Yeah, it's awful, I know the feeling." Eren stared at him, unsure what to say.

A sound coming from the entrance of the house made both of them observant. In a few steps, they saw Irvin coming inside, looking neat even after his tiring flight back to Japan. He was surprised to see Eren sitting in the dining room across Rivaille.

"Good morning… uh… Eren…" The man gave a smile after Eren nodded silently, he could see the glint of worried in Irvin's eyes. Irvin shifted his gaze to Rivaille, asking for an explanation.

"He stayed over last night since I told him about the draft book. I'm making more progress with it, so he would like to read some." Rivaille eyed him with one eyebrow rose. Surely enough, Irvin must have caught something between the lines of 'staying over'. He didn't have the need to explain to him about everything.

"I think it's time for you to go, Eren." Rivaille muttered, telling him to go ahead. Eren gazed at him then back to Irvin who was still standing in the entrance of the dining room. The man was just coming back from his trip back from France and he wasn't surprise if Irvin astounded to see Eren in the house. Although, maybe Rivaille shouldn't have told him that he was staying over the night. His face colored in embarrassment of the reminder about their last night together. As far as he remembered, they leave no evidence. Seeing that Irvin had leaned against the doorframe and crossing his arms, Eren timidly stood up, lips pursing firmly as he avoided staring at Irvin.

"Okay then… I'll see you later…" Eren mumbled while walking out of the room. Rivaille's eyes followed him until his lover turned to the left of the corridor. He gave a loud sigh and stood up.

"I'll talk to you after this. You just come back, go change or something." Irvin watched him in silence as his nephew strode past him. He shook his head at his hard-headed behavior and went to his room to put his suitcase away while pulling off his tie.

Watching the boy putting on his shoes while bending down before him, Rivaille smirked down at the view of his butt in the air. He brought his hand to gently slap him right on his firm round ass and gave it a light squeeze, earning a loud yelp and a crimson looking face. Eren sputtered and stumbled to his feet, whipping around to glare at the man angrily.

"What the hell, Rivaille!" He shouted with shame, rubbing the spot where Rivaille had just slapped him. Rivaille snorted at his reaction.

"Nice view." He muttered, chuckling low at his widened green eyes. Eren gasped sharply when Rivaille pulled him down by the collar, smashed their mouth together before the boy could protest. The taller of the two grunted at the way Rivaille's tongue licked his parted lips before pulling away. His breath quivered at the sight of his lover licking his wet lips with a smirk.

"I'll see you later." Rivaille said and pushed him to the door. Eren huffed, a bit disappointed that the raven did not do their ritual.

"Okay…" He muttered and walked outside the house. As soon as he closed the door behind him, he stared at the doorknob. He wondered what kind of talk the siblings would discuss about.

* * *

Rivaille sat on the sofa in the living room, raising his head as soon as Irvin came out from his room with his casual clothes.

"Rivaille, you do know that he's still underage, right?" Rivaille raised an eyebrow at the immediate question as soon as Irvin sat down across him.

"You don't need to tell me that. I'll take responsibility" He scoffed and averted his look away from him. Irvin brows furrowed together.

"You realize that he's still too young for your age, even if you are a few years apart. I also need to remind you that you need to leave in a few weeks." That made Rivaille glare at him.

"I know that, Irvin. We don't have to discuss things that I'd known. Besides, he was alright with it, I've told him the stories about our past life. He took it well enough; he even encouraged me to keep writing on my book. I've shared everything with him, I'm able to keep going because of him." They eyed each other coldly before Irvin gave a sigh.

"You know, if someone from school caught him getting out of this house with the two of you kissed each other, you'll be screwed. You're still his teacher for a few weeks, you are older, and he's barely legal. It'll throw your internship to hell."

"They don't have to know, besides I could be saying that he was here to study his English until late at night and had him stayed over. This Monday they'll have exams, he's studying hard. What's so hard about believing that? I didn't even kiss him in the front house." The petite man snapped after feeling that his freedom was disturbed.

"I was just saying so that you need to be more cautious. Eren might try to act like an adult sometimes, but he's still a child. It might be hard for him to let you go, think about the consequences after you return back to France. It may take a while for you to be able to get a job here, if that's what you are planning to do. Also, I had some news about your father, he had a stroke." Rivaille stared at him immobile for a few seconds, opening his dry mouth in surprise at the sudden change of subject.

"He has nothing to do with Eren." Rivaille hissed at the expression his cousin gave him.

"He has things to do with Eren. You have to come back home after you finish your internship. At least tell them that you have your own path you've choose. Just inform them about it, I'm sure your parent will understand." Rivaille grimaced at him. Did he think that they'd be willing to receive the fact that he's gay? Even just a simple 'dreaming' had gotten him trouble by being thrown outside the house let alone the other matter.

"I've known your father ever since I was young, Rivaille. I've been his personal secretary for ages and I know him well enough. As long as you give him reasons he'll be understand. You better make up with your father while you can, who knows when he'll leave this world. At least tell him that you've found the boy from your past life, and tell him that you won't take part on your family business. You'll need to search for a part-time job after you graduated while waiting for your legal letters and some important documents to work here. What about your book that you planned to publish? It's not as easy as you think. There will be lots of things to take care of; you'll need some times before coming back here. If you are serious with Eren, you need to let him know all of this stuff. The boy has the right to know about your family problem as well, not just your past life. It might not work out well, but at least you know whether you need to let him go or make him wait for you."

Irvin stood up, giving him one last look and stride away. Rivaille fists were trembling as he curled his fingers together. Things were far more complicated, reality was harder than he thought. He gritted his teeth as he punched the soft fabric of the sofa he sat on. He rose to his feet and ran after his cousin.

"Irvin, lend me some money. I'll return it to you as soon as possible." Irvin whipped around in shock at the sudden demand. He never heard Rivaille asking him for money before, it surprised him beyond words. Sure, he'd helped him for his living and university, but he never really asked to lend him money for anything other than personal things. This was something new that he had to smile at the expression Rivaille wore.

"What do you need it for?" Rivaille clenched his fists as he looked down. He didn't know if the man would even let him do what he thought it might work.

"I just wanted to test Eren…" That made the blonde frown in confusion.

* * *

"Are you sure this might work?" Irvin asked as soon as came inside another jewelry for the tenth times. Rivaille's face was never been so serious that he had to chuckle at the sight.

"Don't laugh, Irvin. You must be mocking me…" His eyes swiftly wander across the shinning rings before his eyes. He stopped when he caught a familiar emerald.

"I still don't think this is such a good idea. I mean he's still in high school and the chance you two would meet will be like… a long time, maybe?"

"That's why I want to test him. I'll pay you back, Irvin." With that he pointed to his final decision on the gold ring with emerald stone on top of it. Noticing the choice, Irvin put his fingers on his chin.

"I never thought that you'd be a bit cheesy… I always thought you'll go to a plain looking ring." Rivaille rolled his eyes.

"It's a promise for more than hundred years and this time I'll make it happen without any sad ending. You know, it happened in every ending in novels. I'll make the sequel of the book I write and make it a happy ending in this life." Irvin stifled a laugh after hearing him.

_I won't let you go, Eren._

* * *

Eren groaned as he put his hand on top of his textbook, the formulas of science making his head ache. They were having a study group in Armin's house, considering that his living room was big enough to contain lots of people inside. Much to Eren's amazement, his friends were actually coming over to have a party instead of studying seriously. Sasha and Connie brought lots of snacks with them while Marco and Jean brought lots of sodas. Reiner and Berthold were coming over as well as Annie and Mikasa just to have some fun. Eren gave a disbelieving look on each pair. In a few minutes of silence the room was starting to get chatty than the normal study group, he realized that he won't be able to get anything inside his head.

"You seemed disturbed." Armin said after he raised his head from his textbook. Eren snorted at him, obviously.

"Well, I'm more amazed that you can study with the others playing around and laughing. Gosh I can't even work on the last scientific problem really well…" Eren threw his pencil down and closed his book, knowing it useless to try to keep studying with the racket.

"I can get things in my head if I'm focus, Eren. You can talk about it…" Their eyes met for a second, earning a small smile from the brunet.

"Nothing to worry about." Armin's eyes clearly told him that he didn't believe it to which Eren had to give in.

"It's about Rivaille… His internship is coming to an end soon, he'll have to go back to France." Eren said, his fingers nervously rolling on his pencil around on the table. The blonde nodded, understanding the situation immediately.

"What are you going to do, Eren? Are you going to wait for him?" Eren looked down to the table, thinking in silence.

"I wanted to; at least that's what I told myself. I know Rivaille got family problems to deal with, he might won't be back soon… I don't know, Armin…"

"Do you believe in him, though?" Eren looked up, staring at his best friend who gave him a reassuring smile. He knew the answer even before he replied.

"I do…" he muttered.

"Then, there's nothing to worry about…" Armin said, giving a light squeeze of his hand. Eren's lips slowly curved up into a smile with confidence.

"Aaaah… he's deeply in love." A voice interrupted them, making Eren jolt in shock. His face turned red at the realization of his friends listening closely to their conversation. He cursed loudly in shame, face palming to his own silliness while Armin laughed happily. Connie and Jean whistled at him while the others cheering him up. He was glad that his mobile phone rang, enough to distract him from this commotion. He picked it up once he knew it was his lover. Eren's lips turned into a shy smile as he pressed the phone against his ear while avoiding the teasing look the group giving him.

"Hello?"

"Eren, are you busy now? Can we talk?" Eren paused at the soft tone coming on his ear. Something must have happened.

"Where shall we meet? I'm in Armin's house; we're having a study group now. We can meet at the small playground near his house if you want."

"Okay, send me the address." Armin looked at him curiously; the look on his best friend's was not the shy and happy one once he ended the call.

"I need to go now." Eren said shortly, packing his things back to his bag. The others were watching him closely; knowing that something must have come up.

"I'll be just inside the park near here. Rivaille wanted to talk about something… Mikasa, I'll be late probably…" Mikasa nodded at him.

"Be careful, Eren." she said while Armin gave him an encouraging smile and Eren chuckled.

* * *

Green eyes looked up when spotted someone walking in a hurried step into the park. He knew whose those footsteps belong to, he watched Rivaille with concern. As soon as he took a seat on the swing next to him, Eren lips curved up into a smile.

"What do you want to talk about?" Eren's eyes trailed on Rivaille's sour expression. His heart started beating faster with some negative thoughts, wondering what would come out of him. Rivaille stared at Eren who swung back and forth leisurely.

"Eren, you know that I have to go back to France the time you finished your examinations, right?" Eren stopped swinging only to frown at the inquiry.

"Yeah… I know…" he muttered, looking down from those beady eyes of him.

"Look at me. I need to tell you something…" That made the boy raise his head.

"I might not be back soon…"

"… For how long?" His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that he felt it might burst out any time soon. His eyes widened seeing Rivaille shook his head.

"I don't know… I'm not sure when I'll be able to come back here again, Eren."

"Well, I can wait for you…" Eren gave him a reassuring smile, not wanting for him to feel the needs to rush on things. Little less, he knew about the problems he had with his family.

"You can't…" He clenched on the chain of the swing after Eren's smile faltered. Gritting his teeth, Eren leapt up from the swing to stand in front of him.

"Why? Are you dumping me now? After all what's been happening to us?"

"Eren, listen to me, I can't leave you without any words. I want you to know that once I'm back to France, I'll need to finish the next three months of my finals. Once I'm officially graduated, I'll need to seek a job. I'm sure it will take some time until all the legal letters and the documents that needs for me to work here to come out. My dad was just having a stroke, that matters also need to be taken care of since he needs to know what I want to do with my life. He won't live much longer, the doctor said it's only a few months left; I'll need to stay over there until God knows how long. I can't make you wait without further notice, even the time zone is different. It'll be hard to maintain a long distance relationship like that; the time I'm awake you're still asleep and vice versa. I'm not sure you're able to keep doing that, we're both going to grow tired of it."

"I'll keep awake. I want to wait for you, isn't that enough? I've made my decision, you can't stop me." Eren grimaced whilst Rivaille glared at him.

"Stop being a brat and listen to me! You can't wait for me forever! Don't give me any hope because who knows what will happen when I'm not here! You are still young, Eren, you still have so many chances with everyone other than me. I'm not going to risk coming back here with you already in someone else arms!"

"You don't need to worry about it! I'm not going to love anyone else. Just because you are much older than me, you can't tell me what to do! I have my own life to choose, you sound like your parent who tried to control you!" Rivaille opened his mouth at the last retort, fully aghast. He stood up with an angry stomp on his feet to the ground. Eren bit his lip, he didn't mean for the last part to come out.

"Fine! Be a brat for all you want! I shouldn't have tried to talk this with you!" Rivaille briskly walked away without any words. His steps halted as Eren continued talking.

"Why… I thought we love each other… Why are you so worried about something like that?! This is a modern day, there are things called chatting online! Why are you even wasting your time seeking me if you're going away again, Rivaille?! You even told me everything about your past life, and now you are dumping me just because of this? Fuck those promises you made for me!" He spat, his eyes were starting to get hot by the tears. Rivaille clenched his eyes shut, his heart stung at the last words.

"You didn't trust me at all, do you?" Eren muffled, still trying to maintain his breath. He didn't want it to end like this; he wanted Rivaille to trust him.

"What are you going to do if I'm not coming back for a year? Two years? Three years?" Rivaille turned around to face Eren who was wiping the tears with his sleeve.

"I'll wait for you, I'll make my English better! I've been learning so much so that I can go overseas to catch up with you! I… I still haven't decided on what course I'll take for my second year in high school, but… I'll enter the university you've been in if you are not coming back here, just so I can learn much more about literature! Or maybe I should be a doctor since you talked about saving people's life! I can study lots of things for you, since I know you'll make your career even better as the time passed by and I wouldn't want to be left behind… I… I want us to be together forever! Isn't that what we promised each other with those kisses?"

Rivaille's flinched at the inquiry, the boy made it as if he'll never return by his side. His heart pierced at the thought of himself leaving Eren. He slipped his right hand inside his pocket, grabbing the round object that he'd been keeping secret ever since he called him out in the park. His heart was beating faster the time Eren strode towards him, cheeks turning red at his own trembling voice.

"As long as I can be with you, I don't mind waiting a little, Rivaille. Can't you trust me a bit? I won't cheat on you while you're away." Eren pulled his tutor's left hand into his, gripping it tightly as he bit his lip. Rivaille couldn't help but to chuckle at the sight of his lover, bawling like a baby with the thought of him leaving his side.

"Eren… You'll wait for me even it took me forever?" Eren shook his head.

"I won't wait forever, I'll give you three years. If by the time I graduated and you are still not returning, I'll go to France!" Rivaille pulled him down just so he can kiss him on the lips. The teen sighed in content, putting his hand on top of Rivaille's hand that was caressing his cheek. They pulled away slightly and Eren threw a sad smile at him.

"It's only a matter of trust, I can manage that. I'm sorry… for saying the things about your parent…" Eren mumbled, closing his eyes when Rivaille's warm lips touched his forehead.

"I'll give you myself…" Rivaille whispered as Eren sniffled happily. He leaned closer at Rivaille's attempted to kiss his nose.

"Heart and soul…" He lightly tapped on his chin and tilted his head aside so he could move to his cheek.

"…for you are my everything…" Eren wrapped his arm around Rivaille when he kissed his cheek. Knowing that Eren won't opened his eyes until he finished their ritual, Rivaille pulled his hand away from the pocket, gripping on the shimmering object in hand tightly. His hand trembled as it was starting to get sweaty by the nervousness.

"I won't let you go…" Rivaille's voice was shaking, hoping that Eren wouldn't notice his uneasiness as he claimed his lips. Eren's moaned softly against his lips as Rivaille rubbed his wet cheek with his thumb. He pried his mouth away unwillingly, smiling at the way Eren's kept his eyes close at the tender touches. He pulled his left hand just so he could slide the cold metal of gold engraved ring onto his ring finger. Rivaille's smile widened at the surprised reaction. Green eyes snapped open at the feeling of a cold metal, widened after those shining orbs caught the emerald glistened in the middle of the nearby dim playground light.

"Rivaille…" Eren cupped his mouth at the sight of the ring.

"From now and forever…" Eren felt his tears flowing down his cheek when Rivaille raised his hand to kiss the ring, which was now wrapped around his finger. It was beautiful, it was the same color as the one Rivaille told him about their engagement ring. The time their eyes met, Eren felt his legs turn weak but he managed to keep himself from falling. He enveloped his lover into a tight embrace, sobbing with happiness as Rivaille chuckled at his act. Eren felt his heart being washed with so many overwhelming emotions; he didn't know what he was supposed to feel. He had forgotten how he felt during the proposal in their past life, but he bet it was overwhelming as he felt right now. He let his body overtook him while he continued to hold onto his lover, unwilling to let go as he continued to cry his eyes out. The way Rivaille nuzzled his brown lock wasn't helping to stop his tears away.

They'll be together, from now and forever…

* * *

"I… can't believe you were testing me…" Eren pouted while staring at the ring which he placed on the table. Rivaille snorted, he went back to sit on the sofa beside him with a hot chocolate in both hands. Eren took his cup and sipped it, smiling at the warm liquid warming him up. They went back to Eren's house as soon as the cold night air freezing their body. Mikasa was still in Armin's house while his father wasn't going to return home until dawn. For the time being, Eren was glad that both of them were not in the house. He didn't know how he was supposed to tell them about the ring Rivaille gave him. Sure enough, his father didn't object any thought about him dating a man, but they never had a proper talk about it. Not to mention that his father had known Rivaille since their childhood, he felt slightly uncomfortable by the fact that Rivaille almost made him lose his life. He was glad that Grisha didn't have any hard feeling over the accident. Eren smiled warmly at the thought, for now, he was just happy he could cuddle up with his lover in the living room with warm chocolate in each cup in their hands.

"It's not just about testing, what I'm thinking is the truth… You should consider those things when you're having a relationship…" Rivaille huffed, feeling half annoyed that Eren didn't think thoroughly. He couldn't blame him though; he was way younger than he was.

"I know… but still… What if… we really ended it…? This ring is not cheap." He lifted the ring up and wear it again on his finger. His eyes stared at it, a shy smile gracing his lips. He was suddenly aware that Rivaille was watching his every movement and flushed.

"W-what?" He tried to defend himself from any mock retort coming from him. His lover sent him a terse smile.

"Nothing… I'm just glad that you love the ring. I wanted to make it the same as we had before, but since this is our new life… I decided to make something a bit different. See the underside of it." Curious, Eren took it off and flipped the ring over. There were a few words engraved inside of it.

_'Our Five Promises'_

"I see… This is our promises…" Eren whispered. Once he wore the ring again, his stomach fluttered with so many butterflies and a dusty pink colored his cheek.

"For the time being, this ring is what tied us together even if we're far away from each other…" Rivaille showed the ring that he had worn. Eren smiled at it and took his left hand to slide the ring off.

"What are you doing?" Eren chuckled and slid the ring back again.

"You did the same to me, and I'll do the same to you. Does this ring a bell?" Rivaille opened his mouth in a slight realization. He gave a grunt at the thought of their wedding. He pulled him into his arms, kissing him hard. Eren flushed brightly and returned the kiss with a low hummed. His hand twitched at the feeling of Rivaille nipping on his bottom lip with his teeth, tugging it playfully. He opened his eyes slightly in curiousness to stare at the man before during their kisses. His heartbeat quicken at the sight of his dark eyes gazing at him tenderly beneath those lashes. Eren whimpered by the realization that he was being observed closely. Rivaille's tongue distracted him from any shyness as it licked the corner of his parted mouth. He invited him in, green eyes still locked with dark orbs, trying not to lose the sight. Eren had no other choice after feeling Rivaille's tongue swiped underneath his tongue; he closed his eyes in defeat to let out a moan. His fingers curled against his shirt, titled his head slightly to let his lover got a better access inside. They enjoyed their heated kisses until they were out of breath. The time Rivaille pulled away, Eren was panting with saliva dripping down his mouth.

"I'll wait for you, Rivaille… If you're still not return here after three years, I'll go there to see you" Eren whispered, lips slightly touching Rivaille's as he talked.

"For the time being, we'll just enjoy our last time together…" Rivaille pushed him down to the sofa, earning a yelp from the boy being pinned down. Their hands intertwined with each other as they moved in unison, savoring each other's taste with those soft teasing touches by their fingertips.

**_TBC_ **


	19. Fulfill

Emerald green orbs eyed the rain with a rather gloomy expression. Eren sighed as he leaned against the glass window of his school building. He did not expect it to rain this heavily as soon as he finished his exams. He wondered if he should just run home or wait for someone to lend him an umbrella. Mikasa had gone to the council room while Armin had gone home as soon as he finished his exams since he had his tutor coming over. Eren sighed; he was feeling lonely in this kind of time. Not that he blamed them for being so focused on the things in their hands, but rather he was angry at himself for not being active. Eren looked to the entrance when another student walked out the building, his hope faltered when they were not the one he knew. He was about to head back to the building when he heard one of the female students whispering to her friend.

"Did you see the ring on Rivaille-san's finger? I thought he was single…" Eren flushed when he heard her, his steps halted and he turned abruptly to them. The girl seemed to notice him and hurriedly shut her mouth, shyly pulling her friend away with her. Eren looked after them as they padded away into the rain, their umbrellas hanging lowly to shield them from the water. The brunet's hand unconsciously touched the ring which he hid beneath his collar shirt, wondering what they would say after they noticed he had the same ring design as Rivaille's. Before he knew, his feet brought him to run back to the building, eyes swiping across the corridor to search for his secret lover. He soon found him getting out from one of the classroom.

"Rivaille…" Upon hearing his name called, the man looked to his side, noticing Eren panting slightly due to his running.

"Eren? You didn't bring your umbrella with you?" His teacher closed the door and faced him while crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was confused when Eren pulled him away further from the class and up to the corner of the corridor. After making sure that no one would come to pass by their direction, Eren sighed. The man was staring at him, wanting for an explanation of his action. Eren bit his lip, eyes looking down to his left sweet finger, there was the ring, wrapped proudly around it. Rivaille noticed what he was eyeing and lifted his hand for him to see much clearly. Green eyes examined it for a moment before muttering his words.

"You wear it, everyone started gossiping." Eren slowly wrapped his hands around Rivaille's left hand. Hearing that, the older of the two shrugged, obviously not caring about the gossip spreading around the school only because he wore a ring on his left fingers.

"So what? I'm proud to wear it…"

"I'm sorry… I can't…" Eren said, retracting his hands away to pull the ring he had made into a necklace out of his collar shirt. He showed it to Rivaille with a small sad smile. Rivaille's lips tugged into a smirk, and lightly flicked his forehead with his forefinger.

"Don't worry about it, brat. I'm all yours, and you are mine. That will remain a secret for the time being though…" Rivaille leaned in closer to him, kissing his forehead tenderly. Eren's cheek colored into a dusty pink at the soft touch of those warm lips.

"Only a few days left…" Eren whispered before wrapping his arms around Rivaille's neck, sighing as sadness crept up his chest. He wished time would fly slowly to let him hug his lover like this, warming his body from the cold rain outside. Rivaille kissed his ear softly, his hand making circles on his back, soothing the boy with caresses.

"Don't worry, Eren. You'll make it, we won't lose each other. Remember the trust you said in the other night." His warm breath against his ear shell made Eren shiver. He buried his face in his shoulder, flashing their bodies together as he refused to let go. Rivaille chuckled as the boy practically clung to him. He patted his brown locks and pulled him away to stare right into his eyes.

"When the last examination finished, I'll invite you to my house to stay over the night." Eren blushed at the words, he quietly nodded at the invitation, heart beating faster at the thought.

"Okay…" He sighed as Rivaille patted his head like he was some kind of a small child. The gesture, though, made him want to be touched more, it was as if Rivaille only loved him and nobody else would get the same treatment as he did. He leaned against the hand that was now caressing his cheek, closing his eyes in enjoyment as a smile graced his lips.

"Wait here for a bit more. Go to the cafeteria or something to warm yourself up while filling your head for tomorrow's subject."

Their eyes stared into each other longingly, not wanting to avert their gaze away. Rivaille was the first to break their eye-contact, leaving the boy staring at his back until the man disappeared behind the right corner of the corridor.

* * *

Eren moaned in frustration, even if his eyes stared down to the textbook in front of him, his mind was somewhere else. He shifted his gaze to the hot cup of hot chocolate he had ordered. He hadn't even touched it the time he settled in the corner of the cafeteria. He saw a few students laughing and gossiping, doing something other than studying, not that he was studying himself. He found it annoying that they were so carefree as if without problems to deal with. Eren started feeling anxious as the time passed by until their separation from each other prolonged. He knew as soon as Rivaille went back to France, he'd feel empty. He brought his hand to pull the ring out from his shirt, eyes flickering sadly with so many things in his mind.

"I wonder if I should feel happy or sad due to the fact that he had taken ownership of me" Eren quickly shook his head, forcing out those negative thoughts. A voice broke his mind off; he raised his head to see his sister standing right before his seat.

"Mikasa…" His eyes widened when he realized that she was eyeing the ring.

"Eren, I was searching for you and then I met Rivaille. He told me you were probably in here, so here I am, asking for you to go home." She paused "What's this? I need some explanations." She pursed her lips firmly while taking a seat across him. Eren averted his gaze from her, not knowing how to respond for a moment until he spotted Rivaille coming inside the caféteria. He remembered that he was going to send him home, opening his dry mouth when the man walked up to them. They eyed each other for a moment, and Rivaille noticed the heavy stare coming from Mikasa. The man sighed when Eren dropped his hand from the ring he was holding, letting it hang loosely around his neck.

"We need to talk." Rivaille said and sat beside Eren after pushing him away to make some space on the sofa. Mikasa leaned forwards to listen carefully to whatever Eren's fate might be.

"I proposed to your brother." Rivaille muttered, only loud enough for the siblings to hear. He didn't want other people to know about it, so he needed to talk this very quiet as possible. When he saw Mikasa remained silent, he continued.

"I'll need to go back to France right after you guys finish your exams, I have things to take care of there. So I want to tie him with me until I come back. That, and also, because I've loved him for thousands years." Rivaille took Eren's hand with him, eyes never leaving Mikasa while he did so. Eren's eyes widened, gaze shifting back and forth from Mikasa and Rivaille. He couldn't believe that this was happening now, his heart beating loudly in his chest as his hand trembled. Rivaille noticed and pulled their hand down, caressing his thumb on the back of Eren's hand.

"Are you sure you can keep your promise? Last time you almost made him lose his life. This past life things are just… weird somehow. And now you're planning to leave Eren after everything you did to him? I hope you keep your promise, or I'll chase you all the way to France, Rivaille! I won't even let you marry my brother if you don't come back sooner!"

Eren was about to interrupt when Rivaille raised his hand, stopping him.

"It's a deal then…" Eren watched as his sister and his lover glared daggers at each other. The tension seemed to melt the time Mikasa exhaled softly; she stood up from her seat, took her bag and stared down at the couple. Her eyes drifted to Eren who still had his mouth closed, if only to refrain from throwing out a retort.

"I'm going back now, Eren." She said, silently telling him to choose. She was not surprised when her brother curtly nodded, a thin smile gracing his lips.

"Okay, I won't be back soon, I think… Be careful, Mikasa." Mikasa nodded in acknowledgment and walked past their table without looking back. Rivaille noticed the way she clenched the handle of her bag, he noticed the way her eyes started turning red. He knew her reaction clearly reflecting on how she'd lost her baby brother. The moment he wrapped his arm around Eren's shoulder, the brunet only looked at him confused. Their eyes met for a moment before Rivaille captured his lips. They leaned closer into each other's arms as Rivaille pulled the teen down, hiding them behind the headboard of the sofa they sat on. A small whimper came out as Eren felt the wet tongue lick his upper lip, seeking entrance of his warm mouth. They continued to savor each other until the boy broke the kiss, feeling the need to breathe evenly.

"Rivaille…"

"You'll need to study for tomorrow; I'll send you home…" Rivaille whispered. Eren's brow furrowed in protest, not after Rivaille kissed him like that. Not after the way he talked to his sister. The brunet couldn't wait any longer to jump over the time when they'll meet each other again.

"Rivaille, please… I… you can't-" he was cut between his stuttering by those lips again, this time wet and moist because of the saliva.

"Eren, stop with that expression…" Rivaille groaned as soon as he pulled back. He'd miss the brunet so badly when they separated. Only a few days left and he was left wondering what Eren might do when he was gone. He gently pushed the boy off from him, staring right into his eyes.

"I love you… I'll be back, I promised didn't I?" Rivaille whispered, his thumb brushed Eren's cheekbone. He felt it on the palm of his hands that Eren's cheeks were getting warmer by the seconds. It will be hard to leave him like this.

"I hope you won't cry your eyes out later in the airport." Rivaille eyed him seriously. Eren let out a snort, chuckling at the older man.

"I won't…" Eren protested and kissed the palm of his hand. Rivaille sighed and cradled his head into his chest, the boy practically clung to him. Rivaille's eyes drifted to one of the lavatory across the place where they sat. He eyed the small possibly undisturbed room as he continued twirling Eren's brown locks. He brought his lips to kiss Eren's ear-shell and he muttered a few words, earning a priceless expression from his lover that he had to suppress his laugh with a snigger.

* * *

"Good, the lavatory is freaking clean at least." Rivaille muttered while locking the door.

"You can't be serious!" Eren gasped when Rivaille turned him around to face the mirror. The place was so cramped that Eren had trouble moving without bumping against the wooden wall on his sides. In front of them was the sink with a large mirror while behind them was the toilet bowl; he wouldn't want to risk any wrong movement and accidentally break something. The sweet potpourri smell made it even more unbelievable, tranquility surging between them. His cheeks colored at the realization that he could watch himself being ravished by Rivaille from behind. Eren whimpered and brought his hands to cover his face.

"It's embarrassing…"

"Idiot, pull your hands away…" Rivaille growled while grinding against Eren's behind, earning a soft gasp as the boy flinched from the hardness. One hand had delved inside his shirt to tease his nipple in which Eren had a hard time to keep his voice quiet.

"Ungh…" He peeked from between his fingers to the front, gasping as he saw Rivaille's hand go down, slipping inside his pants to grab his erection.

"Wet already? This sure turns you on." Rivaille chuckled lowly as he stroked his length vigorously without mercy.

"Hmmhm" The boy failed to form coherent words as he felt himself being stroked fast. He hunched over the sink when Rivaille practically pushed his pants down just enough so that he could slide his member between his legs. The fact that he didn't put it in made Eren moan with wanting, he closed his legs just so he could feel Rivaille slid against him with more frictions. All embarrassments were thrown away as his hand gripped on the sink tightly by their frantic movements. He watched as Rivaille bit his ear and licked it, his breaths getting heavier as Eren growled by the harsh tug on his cock.

"Eren… Have you noticed the way you look? Such a turn on…" Eren moaned as his hips jerked against his hand, feeling the shyness to be able to see his own lewd expression. The sight of Rivaille's eyes staring straight at him in the mirror made him shudder. He lurched forward and gasped.

"Stop it… Nggh I… Ah!" His mouth opened without words coming while spilling his seed all over Rivaille's hand and sink. He gave a short gasp as Rivaille kept him steady while he kept moving between his legs. Later he felt the man inhale sharply against his ear, Eren drunk the sight of his lover cum between his legs while sucking on his neck. He felt the wetness running down his hips as Rivaille gave shuddering breaths. His lip curved up at the sight and gave a small laugh at the tickled warm breaths. He couldn't believe what they were doing inside the lavatory of the school's cafeteria, facing the mirror. Not that there were any hidden cameras, but it was crazy enough that Eren was amazed at how turned on he could be during their heat. Eren moaned slightly as he watched on their reflection as Rivaille sucked on his earlobe. He stared up to the man who was still holding him with lust in his eyes from behind. He closed his eyes when their lips met, moaning softly at the soft touch. Eren turned slightly to wrap his arm around him, kissing him deeper. Once Rivaille pulled away, he gave a smile to him.

"I'm gonna miss this…" Eren muttered as he stood up properly. He eyed Rivaille who adjusted his belt and looked to the mirror in front of them.

"You will surely miss this, so, whenever you get turn on, just stared into the mirror and see your reflection, you'll remember this moment." Rivaille pulled him by the collar and graced his tongue against those parted lips of his.

"Let's go home now, Brat. I'm sure you'll need lots of coffee to study tonight." Rivaille snorted right after Eren groaned at the reminder of tomorrow's exams.

* * *

Eren gulped the time he set his foot in front of the living room. His father had gotten home and sat quietly without the radio or TV on. The sight of his sister also sitting beside him as if she was preparing to have a very serious talk, made him shiver in fear. Whatever it was they'd discussed, Eren regret having to get home alone without Rivaille helping him out like before. The man only dropped him and went straight to his house immediately. As soon as his father's eyes were on him, Eren forced a smile.

"Uh, Dad? You are early…" He went rigid when his father motioned for him to come closer and had him sit down on the separate sofa beside them.

"We need to talk…" _Obviously…!_ Eren wanted to escape, but he knew he couldn't. He silently sat down after putting his bag on the table, eyes staring at him with worry. He glanced at Mikasa who remained indifferent, but he knew that she had told his father about the previous talk in the cafeteria.

' _Damn it, Mikasa?! I'm not ready to tell him just yet…'_

"Eren, is there something that you needed to talk to me about?" Eren bit his lip.

"About Rivaille… we… we are dating?" He spoke so fast on the last sentence that he almost bit his tongue. He was sure that he never really had a proper talk about this to him, but now that this happened, he felt that he should have this talk sooner. The teen was confused when his father shook his head.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I heard he proposed to you, is that right?" Eren sucked in his breath, his heart felt like it would leap out of his chest anytime soon.

"Y-yes." He squeaked, surprised by the sudden voice he just let out. He lifted his gaze from his lap, something told Eren that it wasn't right to his father to actually keep it inside.

"Uh, Dad… Actually, I was meant to talk about this with you but…"

"Eren, I need to tell you that the path you've chosen will be harder from now on." Eren frowned when he heard him.

"I'll be fine…" he swallowed dryly, he shifted his gaze to the fluffy carpet underneath his foot.

"It will be harder since he won't be back as soon as possible. Are you seriously going to wait for him, Eren? I need you to think about any possibilities that might happen between the two of you with such a long distance. You'll need great trust for each other, not only that, but your future… are you sure you don't want any children?" Eren eyes widened and shot his head up.

"That's-"

"I know it's still so far ahead of you, but we need to think about those things from now. There will be a lot of sacrifices for both of you. I just don't want you to regret it halfway, it would just hurt the two of you."

"There is a thing called adoption, if that's what we wanted. We can manage, Dad. I'm sure we'll be fine. I trust him, dad. He trusts me as well. We'll support each other when one of us needs comfort and of course, we won't lose contact just like that. I won't wait for him forever, I've made my decision that I'll go to France if he doesn't keep his promise. We'll settle our problems just fine. As long as we have each other, I guess…" Grisha gave him one last look.

"You are not alone, Eren. Your sister and I will always be here if you need any support." Eren's lips curved up into a smile and nodded. His father patted him on his shoulder as he stood up. Knowing his son's attitude, Grisha was sure he'd face many things ahead of him. It's a part of growing up too, at least he had given him some warning. It's up for Eren to decide his own life, he'll need to leave his nest someday.

After his dad left the living room, Eren scowled at his sister who was still sitting in the same spot, staring at him.

"Mikasa, do you want me to die of a heart attack?!" Eren hissed at her like a snake. Mikasa sighed.

"I was just worried, alright? That midget just… does what he wants and then leaves; now he is going to leave you again. You do realize that you've been so clingy to him ever since you were little?" Eren growled at her.

"I only remember a bit of them… No, I don't. Tell me about it." Mikasa snorted when he heard him.

"Why am I even surprised now that you two are together, I have no idea." She shrugged and patted the space for Eren to move closer to her for the storytelling.

* * *

"Why the hell is this happening!?" Jean shouted right after he saw the marks lists on the board that Rivaille had stick up for the best ten of the students ranking. Eren gave a winning smile and laughed mockingly at his rival.

"I won, Jean, too bad!"

"I can't believe my mark is below you, you cheater!" Jean was wailing now while the crowd cheered at their own marks, they had finished their examinations and they were free to do anything they wanted during their break.

"Of course, I'm not! I study English properly because I have an aim!" Eren huffed as he crossed his arms in front of his chest proudly. Armin chuckled while Mikasa gave a thin smile.

"Humph, what kind of aim is that anyway?!" Again, the taller boy grimaced at the thought that his rival's mark was getting better and better.

"If I need to go to France, I need to learn English at least." Eren waved his hand away and Jean gave him a quizzical look. Rivaille told the students to go back to their seats shortly, stopping both boys to start more rackets on the last day of school. Soon after, Irvin stepped to the front class to announce some news about Rivaille's departure back to France. Jean shot Eren a look after he realized what his aim was for. The green eyed boy didn't seem to recognize the guilt on his face though. All the students murmured at each other by the time Irvin started his speech.

"…And so, it will be his last day today, let's give him a big applause that he has finished his internship completely. Rivaille, if you'd give them some few words before you leave, please."

"I have nothing much to say other than goodbyes to all of you, brats." The whole class couldn't help but to laugh with some girls giggling right after he opened his mouth. Irvin shook his head at his antics.

"All I need to say is keep practicing. Languages are important for those who want to go outside countries to study and have a worldwide knowledge. Maybe not only English, try to pick some other languages, not including your mother language. It doesn't hurt to learn new things. I guess while studying here and have some teaching, I'm grateful that I got to learn many things. Thank you." A few claps went up and followed by another which turned into a big applause. Eren's eyes lightened up when their eyes met, for a brief moment, Rivaille caught the sadness on the boy's face even if his hands continued clapping along with other students. Rivaille gave a curt nod and Eren took the hint, lips curving up to smile on the promised of their secret meeting. Once Rivaille finished with his speech, Irvin called out the student's name one by one for their exam marks. The student being called was able to leave once he or she got their paper test back.

"I'll wait for you outside, Eren." Armin said once his name was called. He brought his bag with him after Eren nodded, paced to the front and took his exam result from Irvin. Irvin gave him a smile and nodded once Armin retrieved his mark. He took his right hand, shaking it firmly.

"Good job, Armin. I'm sure you'll be able to get your scholarship for your university you've been wanting to go to." Armin's blue eyes sparkled when he heard him.

"Thank you, _Sensei_!" He bowed deeply, accidentally crashed his forehead on Irvin's hand which still holding his right hand. Startled, Armin flushed brightly when he heard several laughs behind him.

"I-I'm sorry!" he stuttered at his attitude to which Irvin chuckled. Armin flinched when Irvin patted his head, surprised by the sudden contact.

"It's alright." He meekly nodded and walked away, face still felt like burning. Rivaille snorted once the blonde boy walked outside the class.

"He's still in high school, old man." Rivaille shrugged when he received a glare from Irvin. Once Eren name was called, the brunet took the paper from Irvin awkwardly.

"Eren, have you decided which part you are going to go for your second year? I need you to return the questionnaire now to sign your name for your attendance" Eren stiffened at the demand.

"You don't have much time, brat. Don't take forever." Rivaille said after Eren shook his head.

"I… I think I'll take Science."

"You think?" Irvin shook his head, interrupting Rivaille.

"Can you wait outside until we finish? I need to talk to you." Eren sighed and nodded.

Armin gave him a curious look once he noticed the look Eren gave him once he went outside the classroom.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't decided on which part of department I have to go after this. Irvin wanted to have some talk about it. What should I do, Armin? Social Studies or Science? Have you decided your own?" Armin chuckled and patted his shoulder.

"I wanted to be a worldwide photographer so I can take so many unique photos by going around the world and to strange places and phenomenon. Choose whatever you want to do, Eren. You don't have to follow your Dad's step. He is not forcing you, right?"

"Of course not, but…"

"Then you are free to choose whatever you want."

"I feel bad… Mikasa took Science since she had set her goal to be a doctor. I'm his son, I should be on the same path though." Armin raised his eyebrow at him.

"Don't look at the situation like that, Eren. So what if you're his son? You are you, decide what your own heart wanted to. It won't do any good if you're just following other people's paths."

"Rivaille talked about saving lives, he said I should be grateful that I had the ability to be able to do that." Armin stayed silent at that, not knowing how to reply him.

"I was only saying that because of the past life I've been into." Eren whipped his head to look at his lover, eyes widened after realizing that Rivaille had been eavesdropping.

"You are free to do whatever you want, brat." Armin smiled at the two of them, he patted Eren by his waist and waved his hand to them, bidding farewell to Rivaille before he went home alone.

"This world is full of freedom, you are free to choose whichever path you want, Eren. Don't be so hard on yourself if you think your heart says otherwise."

"I… I wanted to become a journalist." Eren muttered, that made Rivaille's lips curve up slightly.

"Then choose that path, fill in the details to Irvin and return that questioner. By the way, let's go somewhere right after you finished, there's some other thing I need to fulfill." Eren's smile widened and he gave an excited nod.

* * *

Eren stared at the sea wave while leaning against the car. The sky was painted by an orange hue mixed with slightly darker color on the upper side. Rivaille stepped closer to the barrier, hands into his pants pocket.

"Is this where you are planning to go?" He was curious about the choice of place.

"It's a promise from thousands years that we got to see the ocean together. I remembered the time we were in the dungeon for our last night. You told me that you wouldn't want to go alone, it would be meaningless to go to the ocean without me." Eren's heart clenched painfully when he heard him.

"We've watched the ocean from the cliff during the time we went to the cemetery together that time."

"That doesn't count, Eren. You didn't know anything that time." Eren gave a nod.

"I guess so, though I remembered seeing a sight of you wearing a green cloak with the freedom wings logo when you walked in front of me. I thought I was hallucinating." Eren smiled when Rivaille gave him a surprised look. "Now we got to see the ocean together." The teen whispered and walked closer to his lover. He enfolded his hand to Rivaille's arm and leaned into him, seeking warm in the cold night air. Rivaille ran his hand into his brown locks and kissed his forehead. Both of them stayed in a comfortable silence while their gaze stared over the horizon. They watched as the sky got darker and darker before their eyes. Eren was already getting emotional by the time the sky had turned dark. He wiped his tears away from his eyes and stood up straight. Rivaille noticed and he watched him closely.

"Are you alright?" Eren gave a nervous laugh.

"I'm not alright, I feel like I'm being left alone after this."

"Eren, I promise that I'll return, alright? You don't have to follow me to France. I'll make this work, okay?" Rivaille cupped his cheeks with both hands, staring intently at the boy.

"I wanted to say 'kiss me for the last time' but, I don't want it to be the last." Rivaille stiffened when he heard him.

"Yes, please don't say the last. I'll return when the Sakura blooms." Eren chuckled at him, he knew it was either the time he finished his second year or the time he graduated from high school. He leaned down to kiss the man he had given his heart to. They embraced each other, both not wanting to let go.

_**TBC** _

_**;v; Yes I know… next chp will be the last. n.n** _


	20. Until We Meet Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been busy searching for a new job and my mind was wrecked with so many things lately. But I'm glad I finally got the new job! Anyway, as I've told you before, this will be the last chapter and… I love making Eren cry… ._. He did cry a lot after all xD –escape- By the way, the tradition of the girl asking for a guy's first button, I change it to be a badge in here, okay. The link goes to the images of the scene and strip btw, I can't seems to add the image directly like usual O_0 Enjoy!

 

**_Chapter 20 : Until We Meet Again_ **

Eren sobbed as Rivaille pushed him down on the bed. They arrived at Rivaille’s house past midnight. Irvin had gone to sleep the time they walked inside, the light had been off in the entire house except for Rivaille’s room. Eren started clutching on Rivaille’s clothes as soon as they landed on the mattress. The man rubbed his back, soothing the boy in his arms.

"Eren, don’t cry, Eren…"

"I felt like we’re going to be separated again, I don’t know why…" Eren mumbled as he continued burying his face on Rivaille’s chest.

"It’s probably because of the fear from the previous life, you might not remember, but deep inside you know the feeling. I won’t leave you forever, Eren. I promise." Rivaille pecked on his forehead, patting his brown locks. Sniffling softly, Eren moved his lips to press a kiss on Rivaille’s neck.

"I’ll be back, I’ll hold you like this again when we’re back. I’ll make sure that you won’t ever forget this warmth." Rivaille keep whispering, holding his head in place as Eren marked him.

"Make love to me for the last time…" Rivaille stiffened when he heard him, those words only reminded him the time they were in the dungeon. He grimaced at the thought of their last night together. This time, it was different, they’d reunite soon enough.

"Please don’t say last, Eren…" Rivaille pushed him away slightly to stare into his eyes. Eren opened his mouth only to sigh at him.

"I’m sorry… I… we’re not alone in this house, I forgot…" Rivaille silenced him by pressing his fingers to his lips.

"Do your best to keep quiet." The raven smirked and moved his hand down to the front of his pants immediately. Eren gave a shuddered breath by the soft rubbing on his cock through the fabric.

"Nggh Rivaille…" He flinched when Rivaille pressed him to lie on the bed fully. The man had leaned down to press his mouth widely against the front of his pants while his hand massaged his cock. The bulge was getting harder by the stimulation; Eren cupped his mouth when Rivaille pulled his cock out from its confinement. He tried his best not to yelp as soon as Rivaille’s mouth engulfed the head of his cock, swirling his wet tongue playfully. His eyes clashed with Eren’s lustful eyes, the hand on his raven strands jolted with every movement he gave him.

"Aah Rivaille…" Eren whispered while opening his legs wider, trying his best to keep his hips in place.

"It sure is easy to get a reaction out of you…" Rivaille muttered while he pulled his fingers away.

"Only with the way you touch me." The man shot him a look, wondering since when Eren was able to let such a lewd words.

"Eren, in my drawer, you know what to do." Eren nodded to take the lube while Rivaille took the time to strip himself. The boy hesitated as he watched the man up and down, seeing the semi-erect in front of him made him blush. Just how many times he had seen it before, he still couldn’t stop his body from reaction strongly at the sight. Eren took off his clothes right after Rivaille set his own neatly on the floor. The man went back to the bed, snatched the lube from his hand and pushed Eren down, surprising the teen in the middle of pulling his shirt off his head. His tutor had to chuckle at the sight while Eren adjusted his weight. He dipped his fingertips into the lube he had opened, tossing it to the side as soon as his digits were coated. After the clothes being thrown off, Eren looked up only to have Rivaille’s dick in front of his face.

"Ri-hmn" Eren cringed in surprise as Rivaille pressed the tip into his half-opened mouth.

"Suck, you know what I just did." Rivaille said in a husky whisper. The boy did what he was told, opening his mouth wide enough to copy what Rivaille just did to him. His breathing turned heavy while Eren’s tongue lapped across his foreskin, slurping on the head with his unskilled mouth. His teeth softly bite on the underside of his cock, making the man jolt at the contact. The feeling on a few digits slid into his entrance made Eren yelped in surprised. The brunet gasped when Rivaille’s big hand flew to his brown locks, pulling him off by the hair.

"S-Sorry…" Eren muttered after he coughed, he didn’t have time to react when Rivaille kissed him forcefully, sending both of them into the bed. Eren let out a sharp gasp when his legs were being spread apart. Soon he felt the tip of his cock settled before his puckered entrance, warm and slicked with saliva mixed lubrication. Eren grunted as his green eyes flew open at the immediate intrusion. He clenched his fingers into the sheet, feeling overwhelmed by the force.

"Nngh gnnn…" Rivaille tore his mouth away to let him speak up.

"I can’t wait, sorry…" Rivaille pressed his forehead against Eren’s dampened forehead, their breath mingled with the heat.

"Wait, I… it’s…" Eren whimpered when he felt Rivaille move inside him. His arms wrapped themselves around the older man’s neck, hissing at the slight pain coming without being unprepared properly. By the minutes, Eren felt he was being pounded quiet fast. He liked the feeling of Rivaille’s cock hitting his pleasure spot with force, but the man had yet to aim that place even if he knew where it was. He was doing that on purpose, making Eren clawed at his back with needs.

"Rivaille… Rivaille, damn it… come on…" It’s starting to feel good halfway as the man pushed all the way in with such a hard thrust. The moans filled the room were getting louder and louder, both had no care that they weren’t the only one in the house.

"What do you want me to do, Eren?" Rivaille panted as his sweat running down his chin. He flicked his tongue on Eren’s nipples as he slammed back in, earning a grunt from his lover.

"To the right a bi– AH!" Eren yelped all at once as soon as Rivaille aimed his nub.

"Eren… Eren…" Rivaille bit his shoulder when his cock throbbed within him. The way the tip of his dick touched his prostate felt delicious. The brunet writhed underneath, circling his legs around his waist, wanting more of those thrust.

"Again… please… Nngh! More! Rivaille!"

"Eren…" Rivaille closed his eyes, pleasure overtaking his mind as he wrapped his mouth into those wet lips, silencing his loud voice. He swallowed every words coming from Eren’s mouth, licking him hungrily in between his thrust. He was nearing his peak when Eren tore his mouth away to yell out in pleasure. He took the sight of his lover coming beneath him, jolting in delight as he called out his name.

"Rivaille… I love you… I love you…" he muttered those three words as he panted, flinching when Rivaille still thrusted within him. Those green eyes stared into the man tenderly, fingers touching his cheek as he smiled up to him.

"Cum inside me, Rivaille… Fill me in…" Eren breathed, encouraging his lover. He got what he wanted after a few plunge from the older man, humming at the feeling of his seeds spurting inside him.

"Eren… I love you… Eren…" Rivaille bit on his shoulder painfully as he came, letting Eren pat on his raven strands lovingly.

"Feels good…" Eren whispered into his ear. He’ll remember this moment, he’ll remember the way he was embraced, he’ll remember the time he was marked on his shoulder. He’ll remember the way his lover seed filled him up to the brim. Their mouth found their way connecting again, savoring every taste of theirs and not wanting to forget.

[[imagelink-nsfw](http://asakurahannah.tumblr.com/post/76066994856/based-on-my-fanfiction-overwhelming-emotions-chp)]

—

Irvin shifted in his bed, grunting at the sounds coming from the room across his. He groaned when he realized those two won’t ever have enough with just one round, not to mention that Eren was pretty loud for his age. He pulled a pillow and buried his head underneath it, trying to get some sleep.

—

"Irvin _Sensei_ , are you alright? You didn’t seem to have a lot of sleep last night…” Irvin coughed at the inquiry he got from his student. There’s no way he could sleep with those two building up memories last night.

"Nothing, have you said goodbye to Rivaille?" Irvin asked as he took a seat next to the blonde. Armin nodded with a smile.

"Yes, Mikasa and I already did. Now it’s Eren’s turn." He watched from afar that the two of them might need some time to say goodbye. They still got a few minutes left before Rivaille had to enter the gate.

The man stared at his lover as he walked closer to him. Those green enticing eyes were gleaming with sadness, but the boy forced himself to smile.

"So, are you going to cry and make this all dramatic?" Eren snorted while Rivaille’s lips curved into a smirk.

"If you mean dramatic by trying to stop you going and said that you got me pregnant, then what’ll you do?" Rivaille choked on his breath, Eren laughed after the man coughed several times.

"You stupid brat…" Eren grinned at him.

"I’m not going to cry… It’s not going to be the last time we’ll meet each other, so… I’ll smile." Rivaille rubbed his cheek with his thumb, nodding as Eren kissed the palm of his hand. The older of the two pulled his hand away and handed a plastic bag he was holding to Eren. Eren looked inside curiously, he figured out a novel and a box wrapped neatly beside it.

"I promised you the whole book, didn’t I? This is what it’ll look like when I’d finished the entire book. It’ll have more volumes in the future, I’ll give it to you for free when I finally published it. Take this with you for the time being. You can keep it, it’s yours. I’m dedicating this book for you, Eren. There’s a little present as well for you, opened it whenever you miss me." Eren hugged the plastic bag closely to his chest, nodding.

"Thank you… Rivaille… Heichou…" Rivaille blinked at him.

"I will miss you, Eren." The raven whispered. Eren held his hand up, intertwining their fingers together.

"I’ll wait for you, you promise that you’ll return when the Sakura bloom. I will wear the ring on my finger whenever I’m having a long break like now. I’ll go online when I’m still wide awake at midnight so we can chat when you have free time." Rivaille, nodding on each word the brunet was saying, touched his lip with his finger when Eren paused to stare right into his eyes.

"Rivaille…" Rivaille shook his head, preventing him to say anything else. He pulled the boy to bend down so he could kiss his forehead.

"I’ll give you myself…" Eren bit his lip when he heard him. He wrapped his free arm around Rivaille’s shoulder to bring them closer.

"… heart and soul…" he moved to his nose.

"…for you are my everything…" A peck on his cheek and Eren trembled at his need to bawl.

"… I won’t let you go…" He captured his lip tenderly, the boy somewhat chased his lips when Rivaille pulled away and took his hand off his shoulder.

"… from now and forever." Eren was sniffling as Rivaille kissed the ring on his finger.

"You are mine, Eren, never forget that. If you broke our promises, I won’t forgive you." Rivaille muttered and captured his lips once again. The voice muffled by their kiss, Eren closed his eyes and silently nodded against the kiss. Their lips touched softly, it was just a kiss to remember each other’s taste so that they’ll linger when they broke the contact. Eren opened his eyes softly when Rivaille pulled away, the boy flushed as he gave him a thin smile.

"I won’t forget those feelings…" Eren whispered and gave him a peck on the corner of Rivaille’s chin.

"I won’t either." He whispered. A loud speaker announced the departure, telling them that they had no more time left. Rivaille stepped back while eyes never leaving his green orbs.

"See you later…" Eren muttered and Rivaille nodded. He slowly turned around and not looking back.

"Yes… it’s our promise." He kissed the ring Rivaille’s lips had set upon previously.

 _Heich_ _ou, I_ _'ll wait for you… Again…  
_

 _M_ ikasa and Armin, who had walked closer to him, patted him on his shoulders, giving him an encouraging look.

"He’ll definitely come back, don’t worry…" Armin said. Eren nodded. He stayed in his spot as he watched Rivaille disappeared into the gate.

[[imagelink](http://asakurahannahda.deviantart.com/art/Until-We-Meet-Again-432677973?q=gallery%3AAsakuraHannahDA&qo=2)]

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**Two Years later…**

"Ereeeen…" A green eyed boy looked behind him and saw a girl running towards him in a hurry. She had bright green colored eyes almost just like him with red hair tied into a messy pigtail, her eyes were gleaming with enthusiasm as she approached him.

"Isabel?" He gave a laugh when she tried to catch her breaths. A flower petal had landed on her palm when she held up her hands.

“ _Senpai_ , can I have your badge?” She asked immediately, feeling relieved when he still had it on him. Eren looked down on wings shaped badge on his jacket, a mark of the graduated senior that will take off from their high school. It was not a secret when a girl asked the badge for safekeeping, some even confessed their love after they asked for it. It was different with Eren though, Isabel had always been like his own sibling when she admired him openly in their journalist club. He chuckled as he pulled it off.

"Sure." He said and she happily took it in her hands.

"Thank you, Senpai! Also… I… hope that you’ll be able to achieve your dream as a journalist!" Eren nodded at her, surely, his junior was adorable. A loud voice disturbed them as soon as the girl clutched his badge.

"Jaeger, I won’t forgive you!" A boy slightly taller than he was shouting full of jealousy, his face flushed when he saw Isabel was glaring daggers at him.

"Well… try harder, Farlan…" Eren muttered tiredly and turned around to walk away. He needed to escape from the two of them before a war broke out. He needed to search for his best friends, surely Mikasa and Armin weren’t stood that far from him during the ceremony. As his eyes landed on each person’s he walked past, he could see their happiness for finally being able to graduate. The Sakura bloomed prettily as if cherished their hard works. The petals fell gracefully and landed on each of the students head, crowning some of them as they paced about.

Eren’s eyes fell on the blonde hair boy who stood before their teacher. He grinned widely when he spotted Armin, his blond hair was now tied up into a high ponytail. Eren had to admit that his hair suited him now that it was longer, he looked prettier like that. His steps halted when he saw him blushing though, eyes widened in disbelief when Armin let Irvin pat him on the head, he could see a pink hue adorned his cheeks softly as he giggled. He was even more shocked when he watched Irvin lean down to capture his lips, Eren could not see their faces, but he was sure the angle made it even more obvious that they were kissing. He almost dropped his diploma’s spherical right after Armin circled his arms around Irvin’s neck while he tiptoed. Eren averted his gaze, wondering if anyone happened to pass by and see the two of them. He was glad that everyone was so busy with their own happiness. When he looked back to them, they had broken apart and talked like usual.

"Armin…" Eren called out, feeling slightly disappointed when Armin whipped his head to look at him and waved nonchalantly. He was expecting the blonde to blush, but that didn’t happen.

"Eren, have you heard? Apparently, our article was at the top chart of the new students’ bulletin. We sure cut out working together, you wrote the news and I took the photos of our school field trip last semester, remember?" Armin laughed as he gave him a light high-five.

"Really? I’m glad to hear that! Irvin _Sensei_ , thank you for taking care of us until today!” Eren shook his hand and Irvin nodded at him.

"Congratulation, Eren. I’m happy to see you kids finally able to fly off for a higher degree." Eren tried his best not to roll his eyes on the speech. Armin laughed and nudged on his waist.

"Let’s find Mikasa, I think she was still in the council room. She had to choose a junior to be the head of the council this time right? I wonder if she’d choose someone."

"Yes, Rico _Senpai_ gave her place to Mikasa last year, so she should be doing the same thing now.”

"We’ll be going then, Irvin _Sensei_.”

"Take care, boys. Keep in touch!" Irvin shouted as he watched the two of them run off happily. Eren looked behind him and looked at Armin, who was running along with him.

"So… since when?" Armin looked at him questioning.

"I didn’t know that the two of you are together… Armin, why did you keep a secret from me?" Armin almost lost his footing when he heard him, spluttering at Eren as his face turned into a bright red.

"You saw that, Eren?!" he squeaked as he covered his face.

"You should have seen your face! Don’t try to lie to me, you’re obvious!" The brunet laughed at him.

"It’s almost a year, actually…" Armin admitted as he dropped his hands in defeat.

"Wow, that’s a long time." Eren looked at him amazed. Armin sighed, he pulled on the strands side on his hair, which were shorter than the rest.

"I’m afraid that people will know, I don’t want him to lose his job. At least until I’m no longer his student, I can finally open it to you. I planned to tell you today, right after we finished with things at school… I’m sorry." Eren gave a chuckled.

"I’m glad you found someone." Armin gave a shy smile, feeling relief that Eren wasn’t mad at him.

"Eren, Armin!" Mikasa walked up to them and waved. The three of them laughed as he shared their excitements of their graduations. Mikasa didn’t seem surprised when Armin spilled his secret to her, much to Eren’s disappointment.

"Is there any extra invitation for your seventeenth birthday, Mikasa?" Eren suddenly asked in the middle of their conversation.

"Only two more people, though… The place would be too crowded if there’s too much."

"AH, Can I… have one? It’s for Irvin _Sensei_ …” Armin flustered as he asked for it. Mikasa took the invitation from her bag and gave it to him.

"I’ll be right back, guys." He said as he hurriedly ran back to search for their teacher, his ponytail bounced freely as he ran happily. Eren gave a smile, he felt slightly jealous that Armin had his beloved person by his side. He wondered when Rivaille would be back. Mikasa broke his thought while waving the last invitation in front of his face.

"Here, for _him_.” She said and Eren quickly took it, knowing very much who Mikasa meant.

"Aah, thanks…" Eren fumbled on the invitation and put it in his bag. She nodded in the direction of the gate and Eren questioningly followed her gaze. His eyes widened when he saw the man he was just thinking about, stood proudly at the entrance of the school gate. There were several luggage beside him, it seemed he was just arrived and went to the school immediately. His face plastered the usual boring face, but Eren could see the hint of longing in his beady eyes. The teen opened his mouth, still not believing his eyesight, his bag had fallen from his handhold without him realized it. His feet brought him to run before he realized it. As soon as he was right in front of him, he heard Rivaille curse once he gazed up at him.

"Shitty brat, you’re even taller now." Eren didn’t say anything other than wrapping his arms around the man, pulling him closer. His mouth went dry as his hand patted on Rivaille’s back and shoulder, as if to confirm he was real.

"You’re back… for real… You are real…" he muttered as Rivaille pushed him away to look into his eyes.

"I promised you, didn’t I?" Eren’s eyes watered, he laughed and hugged him again.

"Welcome back…" he sniffled and buried his face in Rivaille’s shoulder. He didn’t care that he got several glances from other students who walked past by. He only cared about how this meeting was real, his lover was back and he kept his promise.

"I’m back… Eren" Rivaille patted his brown locks, how he missed holding him like this again. He missed breathing on his scents and he missed the warmth of his body. He missed everything as Eren wailed happily.

"Silly brat, you’re taller, but you still act like a baby! Stop crying!" Rivaille scolded him and Eren couldn’t help but laughed in between his tears.

"What about your family?" Eren asked in wondered. Rivaille ruffled his hair affectionately.

"My dad had passed away; my family business was given to my older brother now. I’ve told them what I wanted in my life, my grandmother supported me once I’ve told her about my novel even if my mother felt dejected. At least I’m able to make my ‘useless dream’ turned into something valuable, which forced her to shut up. Even if I hate depending on them a little, they helped me with my career anyway. Everything settled once I got my name went up little by little; they even offered to translate the book into several languages. I’m able to run back here as soon as my editor let me. I’m free with everything I wanted to do other than my work, if that’s what you wanted to ask me. So, here I am… chasing after my lover. I might settle in this country and have a talk with my editor for a house. In the meantime, be patient." Eren gave him a big grin.

"You can stay in my house if you want to…" Rivaille smirked.

"It won’t do any good if you want me to sleep in the same bed. I’ve missed those feelings, Eren. So, the present I gave you in the airport, have you used it a lot?" Eren blushed brightly when he mentioned it.

"Rivaille, you pervert! How could you give me a vibr-" His sentence trailed off as he looked down in embarrassment. Rivaille shrugged, smirking at his expression. Eren sighed tiredly, cupping his face with both hands, hiding his red face.

"It’s not enough… I missed you…" The man didn’t say a word instead pulled him down for a kiss. Eren’s voice muffled in surprised, he closed his eyes when their lips collided. How he missed the contact of their heated kiss, he wanted more and more as soon as Rivaille pulled him closer.

A cough disturbed them and they broke their kiss to look at Irvin, standing before them. Mikasa was glaring while Armin blushed, not only them, but Hanji stood beside Irvin with her teasing gaze. The other students who Rivaille had to tutor before were also in front of them. Eren felt like he wanted to dig a hole and jump inside it.

"I… I…" He was spluttering at the cheering given by their friends and Rivaille chuckled as he wrapped his arm around his lover, pulling him down to kiss him on his cheek.

"I’ve brought the continuation of my book, the first volume included. I’ve got lots of time building my novel and actually succeed in getting quite a name." Eren gave him a surprised look. Rivaille handed him his books in a plastic bag and Eren gladly took it. No vibrator along this time, much to his relief.

"Save it, it’s for you." Rivaille said and walked past him to greet the others. He called out Rivaille and once he turned around, Eren pounded his fist on his heart while he put his other arm behind him, saluting soldier like. Rivaille watched him in awe.

“ _He_ _ichou_ , welcome back!” His lover smirked.

"I’m back, Eren."

As they walked side by side, hands intertwining with one another, their rings glistened brightly once it found their other half. They’ll be together… inseparable… from now and forever.

[[imagelink](http://asakurahannahda.deviantart.com/art/Welcome-Back-432680285)]

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End
> 
> I hope the ending is good as it is… I just want to end it in all fluffiness, hey, you got loads of smexy stuff already, ok XDDD
> 
> I have to say thank you for keeping up with me until the end, and also leaving reviews which were very sweet and thus encouraged me to keep going. Thank you also for my betas who had proof-read this story as well, and I'm sorry if I made mistakes.
> 
> I may write another, got several plots running in my head but still hadn't know how to end it. xD
> 
> Until we meet again… -pound my fist on my heart, saluting snk style-


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